Nice face, shame about the make-up
by MELANIE MCDONAGH, Evening Standard
Think EastEnders' Kat Slater (played by the brilliant Jessie Wallace) and you've got the idea.
All the crimes against make-up that British w omen commit every day in one face: lip liner darker than her lipstick, foundation a couple of shades darker than her skin, blusher laid on with a trowel.
It's this vista of horror that comes to mind when you read the latest survey of European make-up habits,to find that British women are at the top of the league.
By comparison with the French, Germans and Italians, the Brits are the heaviest users of ma keup: the market is worth £783 million a year and growing.
One in eight? Either these women are telling untruths, or they're all buying slap with added antioxidants, or we've got a prodigious number of women who can't tell a foundation from a moisturising lotion.
Roja Dove, the skincare and scent guru, who has done endless product launches for Guerlain, thinks that British women are bad about looking after their skin. 'There is a significant number of women who buy make-up to hide skin underneath that isn't perfect.
'At customer launches, women will go over just to look at make-up rather than moisturisers and eye creams even though their primary need is skincare.
In other words,rather than spend money on their skin, they'll spend money on camouflage.'
'The Germans', he says, 'are much more oriented towards having healthy skin to begin with. In Latin countries they'll spend money freely on beauty treatments; for them, cosmetics are a finishing touch'.
Certainly women in the rest of western Europe - if you discount Donatella Versace - seem to have a lighter hand with make-up than the Brits.
'The French are more conservative,' says Valentine Gotti, who teaches the English how to apply make-up at the Sanderson Hotel's Agua Spa, and divides her time between London and Paris.
'The English are adventurous,but they are also much more susceptible to make-up company marketing.
'They'll see a model with red mascara in a magazine and go out and buy it, even if it m a kes them look as if they have conjunctivitis. Suckers, in other words,for advertising.
For Stephen Glass, make-up artist at the Face Facts studio in Fortnum and Mason, the cardinal makeup sin of the Brits is even simpler. 'They use foundation that is far too dark for their skin,' he says.
'Women who'd like to look as if they've got a tan try to achieve the effect with slap that's a couple of shades darker than their face. The effect is scary.'
Newby Hands, beauty director of Harpers & Queen, points out that there's still a big regional difference in the cosmetic tastes and skills of the Brits.
London and Glasgow, she says, are more alert to new trends. 'In Birmingham, they wear orange lipstick. In the West Country, they go for pastel colours. Edinburgh is quite Home Counties, quite conservative.
And in Cardiff they won't wear light foundation. That's right, Cardiff: in the partof the country where they're most likely to have nice pale skin they're most likely to wear dark slap.
It's a generational thing as well. Women under 45 are more likely to update their look; women over that age stick to the Hyacinth Bucket approach: lots of face powder.
But what about that weird element of the survey: women saying they don't use make-up in order to look prettier? Newby Hands isn't remotely surprised.
'English women, she says exasperatedly, 'spend thousands on their homes and gardens and brag about it, but they're still hung up on what they see as vanity. French women have fewer problems about spending a lot on personal maintenance. English women feel guilty.
'They shouldn't. Make-up isn't the biggest thing in the world, but it's still a cheap way of making you feel better about yourself.
'In the month after 11 September, Estée Lauder cosmetics sales soared in the States, and I wasn't surprised. Make-up is about putting the best face on things.'
So there you have it. Make-up is a good thing - nicely applied and over a decent moisturiser.
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