Sex, violence, and almost supernatural strange phenomena… Even the shallow waters of the world’s oceans were a match for Game Of Thrones on Blue Planet II, by Jim Shelley

• e-mail

With Game Of Thrones absent from our screens, fans of epic battle scenes, bloody brutality between enemies whose rivalry has been passed down for generations, and sex-maniacs prepared to satisfy their desires at any cost turned to… Sir David Attenborough and Blue Planet II.

Even though we’d escaped The Deep into the shallows and ‘Green Seas’ of the title, this week’s episode featured several images/ incidents as strange and sinister as anything we’d seen in the Seven Kingdoms. Some of them were not that different either…

‘An army of spider crabs’ for example recalled the White Walkers’ Army of the Dead – ‘hundreds of thousands of them !’, Attenborough gasped, sweeping relentlessly across the seabed in Australia like bony, thorny, zombies re-animating and continuing, leaving a mass of ‘corpses’ behind them.

Intense: With Game Of Thrones absent from our screens, fans of epic battle scenes and sex-maniacs prepared to satisfy their desires at any cost turned to… Sir David Attenborough and Blue Planet II

Their march had been triggered by ‘the first full moon of winter’ (very GoT) – forming a carpet of tightly packed bodies so immense they ended up piled up, clambering over one another in mounds that resembled underwater/living rubbish dumps.

They had migrated not to breed but ‘to grow’ explained Attenborough, shedding so many shells the ocean floor looked like a vast graveyard.

But waiting for their new shells to harden and be able to walk again they were sitting ducks (or crab-meat) for any predator.

Attenborough gave us no warning but the way a stingray – a colossal, smooth, black beast - suddenly came gliding into the picture like a lethal bomber to pick off its helpless prey – was familiar from endless Thrones’ finales. All it needed was a little blonde mermaid on its back.

If anything the stingray was even cooler and scarier than Khaleesi’s dragons. Perhaps the writers should get her one.

Mesmerising: Even though we’d escaped The Deep into the shallows and ‘Green Seas’ of the title, this week’s episode featured several images/ incidents as strange and sinister as anything we’d seen in the Seven Kingdoms

Jaw-dropping: An army of spider crabs sweep across the seabed in Australia like bony, thorny, zombies re-animating and continuing, leaving a mass of ‘corpses’ behind them

Throughout Blue Planet II, the battle scenes and fights have been on such an unfathomable scale you’re never truly certain that they aren’t just CGIs.

Accompanied by thundering soundtracks, the sight of a thousand Hammerhead Sharks hunting as a (huge) pack or fleets of dolphins, tuna, and manta rays racing to charge into a massive cloud of Lantern Fish making ‘the sea boil’ was more thrilling than anything involving the ships of the Iron Islands.

This time, Monterey Bay play host to ‘one of the greatest feasts of all’ - hundreds of Hump Back Whales attacking millions of anchovies by launching themselves out of sea, scooping up a hundred kilos with every lunge.

One of the highlights in Thrones is when two of the main villains meet in a showdown. Here it was an octopus versus the superbly named Pyjama Shark. It was small enough to get into the hiding places of its prey, spinning into the crevices of the rocks like a drill bit.

The octopus was clamped in the shark’s jaws but used its own trump card/USP to survive – slipping its tentacles into its opponents’ gills until it had to relax its grip to breath.

Incredible scene: Their march had been triggered by ‘the first full moon of winter’ (very GoT) – forming a carpet of tightly packed bodies so immense they ended up piled up

With the (aggrieved) shark, hunting for the octopus, which was marooned out in the open, ‘the octopus does something truly extraordinary and never recorded before !’ Attenborough declared - hastily covering itself with shells to make a multi-coloured camouflage.

Bran Stark would appreciate its shape-shifting.

Arya and the Faceless Men would have admired the work – the art – of the Zebra Mantis Shrimp - ‘the most deadly assassin in the Green Seas’, according to Attenborough. Some honour, considering the competition.

A compilation of the Zebra Mantis – and its victims – soon showed why. Or rather it didn’t.

All we saw was a series of small, unsuspecting fish being violently snatched almost invisibly by some kind of paranormal smoke.

The water: This time, Monterey Bay play host to ‘one of the greatest feasts of all’ - hundreds of Hump Back Whales attacking millions of anchovies by launching themselves out of sea, scooping up a hundred kilos with every lunge

In fact the Zebra Mantis was buried under the sandy seabed, catapulting its tentacles up, then instantly swiping its capture down to his lair to present to the female who never left the burrow, concentrating on nurturing their eggs/offspring.

‘She may have been his partner for 20 years,’ Attenborough cooed, trying to make it sound romantic but failing when he revealed that that if the male failed to return she was so reliant she would starve.

This, inevitably, happened when he went walkabouts and left her for another (bigger) female, signalling from her (bigger) burrow that her own mate had deserted her – proof even underwater you should never trust a male.

In an earlier episode we’d seen the Giant Cuttle Fish using the pulsating light show in its body to hypnotise its prey – an act of sorcery worthy of Melisandre the Red Witch.

Colourful: All we saw was a series of small, unsuspecting fish being violently snatched almost invisibly by some kind of paranormal smoke

Here, the competition for a mate was so intense one male Cuttle Fish seemed determined to try his luck with a female secured by what Attenborough christened a ‘Goliath’ – a 10 kilos giant several times bigger than his rival.

The plucky smaller male prevailed though by turning its inferior size to his advantage - ‘toning down his colours and tucking in his fins to mimic a female.’

It seemed a risky tactic with Goliath around, when he was so randy, scouting for more partners.

The smaller male succeeded though, scuttling off to safety the instant he had mated right under Goliath’s nose (and not just his nose).

As Attenborough couldn’t resist quipping: ‘so even with Giant Cuttlefish it seems it’s not all about size !’

Tyrion Lannister would be proud of him. 

In shallows water: In an earlier episode we’d seen the Giant Cuttle Fish using the pulsating light show in its body to hypnotise its prey – an act of sorcery worthy of Melisandre the Red Witch