'I'm sorry for how I murdered them all but I had no other way': Suicide note left by teacher who slaughtered his wife and three children before killing himself is revealed

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The deputy headteacher who murdered his wife and three children before killing himself said he was sorry in a note found at the scene. 

Alan Hawe, 40, slaughtered his three sons Liam, 13, Niall, 11, and Ryan, 6, in the family home by cutting their throats, an inquest found. 

He also murdered his wife Clodagh, 39, with an axe before he killed himself in August last year.

Alan Hawe, a deputy principal, his schoolteacher wife Clodagh and their three children Liam, 13, Niall, 11, and Ryan, six, were found dead in their home near Ballyjamesduff, Co Cavan, Ireland on the morning of Monday August 29, 2016

Clodagh Hawe is pictured with sons Niall, 11, Ryan, six, and Liam, 13, in Venice. All four were killed by Alan Hawe before he killed himself

But in a note found at the home in Ballyjamesduff in Co Cavan, Ireland and published by the Irish Daily Star, Hawe wrote: 'I am sorry for how I murdered them all but I simply had no other way.' 

The note, which was addressed to his parents and siblings as well as his wife's mother and sister, also explained: 'I am sorry for my brutality but I had no other way.'  

Hawe also reportedly requested that he not be forgiven for his actions.

Details from the five-page letter had previously been given to members of the jury but were not read out at the inquest. 

Mary Coll (right) told the inquest how she had coffee and biscuits with daughter Clodagh Hawe and her husband Alan hours before he killed her, butchered their three children, then killed himself

Dr Michael Curtis (pictured) said he believed Hawe cut Clodagh's and two of her sons' throats in such a way that they wouldn't be able to utter cries for help. And all except for youngest son Ryan, aged six, suffered 'defensive injuries', meaning they most likely put up a struggle

It was found at the scene of the murders on August 29, alongside another note that was taped on the back door of the house which read: 'Please do not come in. Please call the gardai.'

Hawe also explained in the note that it was easier for his sons to be killed than for them to be subjected to the trauma of his own suicide.

He even left instructions that he be cremated, with his ashes thrown out to sea, and he specifically requested he not be buried as a Catholic.

Hawe also spoke of his career worries, referring at one point in the note to how his students perceived him. 

Professor Kennedy (pictured) told the hearing that he believed that at the time Mr Hawe carried out the murder-suicide he had progressed from long-term depression to a severe depressive episode with psychotic symptoms

Professor Harry Kennedy, clinical director at the Central Mental Hospital, was asked by Coroner Dr Mary Flanagan to review Mr Hawe's suicide note and reports from his therapist and GP.

He said: 'The counselling notes from March to June last year indicate that Alan Hawe was troubled.'

Professor Kennedy told the hearing that he believed that at the time Mr Hawe carried out the murder-suicide he had progressed from long-term depression to a severe depressive episode with psychotic symptoms.

'When people act in the course of severe mental illness, such as very severe psychotic mental illness, their judgment is severely impaired,' Professor Kennedy said.

The inquest concluded yesterday, with Hawe's death being officially recorded as suicide. The three children and Clodagh were unlawfully killed by Hawe.                  

After it was closed, a solicitor for Mary Coll and Jacqueline Connolly, Clodagh's mother and sister, said Hawe targeted his wife and eldest son first for fear they may fight back.

On the steps of the courthouse, lawyer Liam Keane said the killings were premeditated and calculated.

Flanked by the grief-stricken Mrs Coll and her surviving daughter Jacqueline, he said: 'It is clear from the evidence presented at the inquest that Clodagh and her boys were killed in a sequence that ensured that the eldest and most likely to provide effective resistance were killed first, and they were executed in a manner that rendered them unable to cry out for help.'

The hearse carrying the coffin of murdered Clodagh Hawe arrives at St Mary's Church Castlerahan, Co Caven, Ireland last year. An inquest has heard harrowing details of the scene after police arrived at the house

Mr Keane said the two-day hearing, which included harrowing evidence examining how the school teacher mother and her sons died, does not address why Alan Hawe 'committed this savagery'.

The solicitor referred to the psychotherapist David McConnell who held counselling sessions with Mr Hawe from March 15 to June 21 2016.

'His counsellor has said that he was concerned about his position as a pillar of the community,' Mr Keane said.

'We are aware that he was concerned at his imminent fall from that position and the breakdown of his marriage.'

The bodies of the Hawe family were discovered after Mrs Coll called to their home in Oakdene Downs, Barconey, near Ballyjmesduff, and saw an envelope on the back door warning for gardai to be called.

Garda Aisling Walsh and Garda Alan Radcliff leaving Cavan Court House during the  two-day inquest

The jury of six women and one man returned verdicts of unlawful killing of Mrs Hawe and her three boys and suicide in the death of Mr Hawe.

The inquest was told the vice-principal last visited the psychotherapist and his GP on June 21 2016.

Mr McConnell said Mr Hawe gave no indication that he would harm himself or others. Dr Paula McKevitt said Mr Hawe attended her surgery complaining about a sore toenail.

He also told her he had washed his feet in bleach.

The GP said he was a little stressed about work and had not been sleeping.

Professor Harry Kennedy, clinical director at the Central Mental Hospital, was asked by Coroner Dr Mary Flanagan to review Mr Hawe's suicide note and reports from his therapist and GP.

He said: 'The counselling notes from March to June last year indicate that Alan Hawe was troubled.'

Professor Kennedy told the hearing that he believed that at the time Mr Hawe carried out the murder-suicide he had progressed from long-term depression to a severe depressive episode with psychotic symptoms.

'When people act in the course of severe mental illness, such as very severe psychotic mental illness, their judgment is severely impaired,' Professor Kennedy said.

Referring to his review of the suicide note and the GP's and therapist's reports, Prof Kennedy said: 'Hindsight is always a very unfair advantage.'