'How on earth do I deal with a house that sings Gemma?' Sky Sports TV presenter Simon Thomas returns to family home for the first time since his wife died more than a month ago

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Grieving TV presenter Simon Thomas is returning to his family home for the first time since his wife died of cancer more than a month ago. 

The former Blue Peter host's wife Gemma, 40, died in November just three days after being diagnosed with acute myeloid leukaemia.

He and their son, Ethan, eight, left their Berkshire home to stay with family in Norfolk over the Christmas and New Year period. 

Thomas, 44, has been telling of his grief in a heartbreaking series of tweets posted online in the weeks since her death, using the hashtag #lightinthedarkness.

Today, he revealed his heartache at the thought of returning to his family home without Gemma and insisted his focus was to look after Ethan.  

The former Blue Peter host's wife Gemma, 40, died in November just three days after being diagnosed with acute myeloid leukaemia

He and their son, Ethan, eight, left their Berkshire home to stay with family in Norfolk over the Christmas and New Year period

He wrote: 'So tomorrow it's home time. Except it's not the home I want to be in anymore. Since Gemma went I've managed 30 seconds in our bedroom before breaking down. 

'The room where we slept and held each other, now a room of pain. Now is not the time for snap decisions and new starts, but how on earth do I deal with a house that has her creative touch woven into its very being? A house that sings Gemma?

'Our friends have been beyond amazing, yet I now feel not just in a different place to them, but in a different universe. The meals, the play dates, the fun is now achingly different. 

'As their family life continues and for some, new babies arrive, I feel like an alien. It's like my life has been put into reverse. In three horrible days I'm back to being single. Back to having no idea how to really cook. 

'Back to the place I never really enjoyed. Career suddenly in reverse. The massive difference now is I have my precious boy to look after. I pray to God that if nothing else, I can do this last bit.'

Yesterday, Thomas said his New Year's resolution is just to 'get through another day' following the death of his wife.

Simon Thomas has been telling of the terrible grief of losing a partner after his wife Gemma died just three day after she was diagnosed with acute myeloid leukaemia

He wrote: 'My New Years resolution - to just get through another day. #lightinthedarkness'

In a reply to one of his followers, he added: 'You can’t hold off the waves. The storm will rage for a long time, but all I can do at the moment is hang on by my fingertips.'

It came after he told his 'stomach churning dread' of the year ahead and the start of a new school term for the his eight-year-old son Ethan.

The Sky Sports presenter said he is filled with dread at the idea of his son returning to school

Thomas, of Caversham, Berkshire, wrote on Sunday: 'Never been the biggest fan of January.

'In a heartbeat we go from the light filled time of Christmas to the often barren feeling landscape of the new year. But this year it fills me with a stomach churning dread.

'The unavoidable, inescapable return to the house we so loved, yet now breathes the loss of the woman who poured her heart and creativity into making it our dream home.

'The silence that has always felt so peaceful, is now a painful, claustrophobic one as I crave that front door to open again and her smiling face to come walking back in.'

Thomas shared  this family photograph of his late wife Gemma and their son Ethan last week

He went on: 'And then there's the looming start of a new school term.

'The school gates, where the daily rhythm of family life is now so hard to be around, and the goodbye to the boy I won't see for the next few hours.

'I don't even feel like a family now, it's me and the boy - the team, the partnership in this challenging journey we now find ourselves on.'

Thomas said 'step by step we'll keep moving, keep walking, keep cherishing the memories, keep seeking the light; but 2018 won't be a new start'.

He continued: 'The bells of Big Ben and the bursting fireworks won't herald the start of a new beginning but instead the farewell to the last year I had with her and the continued walk through the confusing fog of grief.

'People have said to me many times over the past few weeks that it can't get any worse - but it can, it really can.'

He concluded the post by saying: 'I just pray to God that it won't and that out of the ashes of 2017 we will begin to rise again. I hope God blesses you in 2018 and blesses us too.'

Shortly before Christmas the presenter shared his son's letter to Father Christmas, in which he asked for 'mummy back'.

Ethan's letter asked for three things this year - Playmobil, Lego and his mother.

Thomas wrote on Instagram: 'I just wish I could give him the third.'

Acute myeloid leukaemia is a type of blood cancer that affects the bone marrow.