Made In Chelsea: Mimi can't control herself when Ben asks her to be his girlfriend, and Jamie has moved on from Melody ALREADY

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Habbs is still gunning for that title of biggest meddler in the land. She’s invested in a pearly queen beret and telling Frankie, without blinking, that Digby ‘strongly doesn’t like’ her. Liv happens to be power walking around the corner at the exact same moment and seizes the opportunity to inquire about the level of hatred Frankie feels in return toward Digby.

If it were a tornado, the hatred is at about Level 2 on the the Fujita Scale. By the end of the episode it will be F5. That’s over 200mph of seething, windy hate.

Did you know who invented the scissors? Leonardo Da Vinci. Fancy that. Jamie knows this because Francis told him. They’re talking about the absolute disaster that was Melody. Francis is casually pointing out that Jamie told her she was hot and that he loved her, but is interrupted by a phone call which appears to be a French woman.

Frank: Habbs is still gunning for that title of biggest meddler in the land

‘Bonjour! Salut!’ Jamie answers, dredging up that French GCSE he got at Mr Buckleberry’s School For Impressionable Young Men. Turns out the French woman on the phone is called Elle [as in Mademois] and that she is Jamie’s latest foreign squeeze. We don’t know where she’s materialised from [and don’t expect to find that out this episode] but it seems she possesses the ability to use a telephone so that’s good.

‘You didn’t waste any time!’ Francis’ voice suddenly booms, in possibly the worst bit of dubbing ever to happen on Made In Chelsea.

Meanwhile, poor dejected Melody, who has relocated her whole life to come and live in London for Jamie, is getting her hair done, desperately insisting to Clementine that Jamie referred to her as his ‘South African wife’ once. Also, her accent seems to have transmuted into American now.

Liv’s fuming with Frankie and Habbs and calls them ‘trollops’. She goes to Battersea Power Station [which apparently has a restaurant in it?] to meet Louise, Mytton and Digby. Digby comforts her by telling her Frankie must be jealous of them, as if Liv were a nine-year-old girl who has just been smacked on the bare arm by one of her classmates at ballet lessons.

Tensions: If it were a tornado, the hatred is at about Level 2 on the the Fujita Scale. By the end of the episode it will be F5. That’s over 200mph of seething, windy hate

Moving on? Jamie knows this because Francis told him. They’re talking about the absolute disaster that was Melody

He then leaves ‘for a meeting’ [perhaps to feature in another task on The Apprentice] and Liv tells the other two that she’s starting to get slightly annoyed when Digby does stuff like put a wet teaspoon in the sugar bowl.

Mytton wonders whether this could be the first 'crack' starting to appear in their otherwise rather nice romance. ‘This is not a crack Mytton, he saw that long ago,’ Liv corrects him, declaring to the world that she’s not adverse to experimentation in the boudoir. She then mutters something about the honeymoon phase being over and asks Mytton and Louise to keep the conversation to themselves.

So Mytton goes and tells Habbs, naturally.

Beret nice: Habbs invested in a pearly queen beret and telling Frankie, without blinking, that Digby ‘strongly doesn’t like’ her

Making his point: Francis is casually pointing out that Jamie told her she was hot and that he loved her, but is interrupted by a phone call which appears to be a French woman

New squeeze: ‘Bonjour! Salut!’ Jamie answers, dredging up that French GCSE he got at Mr Buckleberry’s School For Impressionable Young Men. Turns out the French woman on the phone is called Elle [as in Mademois] and that she is Jamie’s latest foreign squeeze

Mimi has brought James and Sam Prince to a negligee store so she can parade around in a busty camisole in front of them. When they dare to look at her, she scolds them. ‘I almost have a boyfriend you can’t be doing this!’ she cries, reminding them that Ben very nearly asked her to be his girlfriend last week.

She then announces she’s having a party where everyone has to dress in revealing nightwear and ALL the men can look at her chest.

Habbs tells Frankie that all is ‘not so rosy poesy and butterflies’ in Liv and Digby’s romance. Frankie then ends up at the bar with Digby who informs her that he ‘doesn’t know her well enough to hate her’. Fujita Level 3.

Frankie then plays her trump card [that Liv has got ‘the ick’] to which he replies: ‘In the folder of s**t that you f**king think of where did you f**king find that?’ Fujita Level 5.

Oh no: Meanwhile, poor dejected Melody, who has relocated her whole life to come and live in London for Jamie, is getting her hair done, desperately insisting to Clementine that Jamie referred to her as his ‘South African wife’ once

Fuming: Liv’s fuming with Frankie and Habbs and calls them ‘trollops’. She goes to Battersea Power Station [which apparently has a restaurant in it?] to meet Louise, Mytton and Digby

Friends: Digby comforts her by telling her Frankie must be jealous of them, as if Liv were a nine-year-old girl who has just been smacked on the bare arm by one of her classmates at ballet lessons

Jamie announces that he’s ‘never felt like this before’ about this new girl Elle. Then he explains that, actually, yes he has, when he was 16. Sorry Elle.

Digby didn’t come home last night, or left early without writing Liv a cute message on the kitchen chalk board, or something to this avail. So Liv is devastated. It’s okay though because she finds him and tells him she didn’t once say she had ‘the ick’ [which is true]. She cries proper tears and her voice warbles. So all is forgiven.

Toff left her phone case at James’ house, because they had a night together, but nothing happened [other than her leaving her phone case there].

The phone case is the kind that has a hole in it for the power cable, so she can't have taken the case off so she could charge it and then forgot it. Is Toff trying to entrap James? Well, it worked, because now he can’t get her out of his mind. ‘I’ve started to like you a little bit,’ he says, lukewarmly.

Heating up: Mimi has brought James and Sam Prince to a negligee store so she can parade around in a busty camisole in front of them

Flesh-flashing: When they dare to look at her, she scolds them. ‘I almost have a boyfriend you can’t be doing this!’ she cries, reminding them that Ben very nearly asked her to be his girlfriend last week 

Liv nips round to Frankie’s to tell her ‘I’m going to choose Digby over you’. Then she leaves. A text saying that would have sufficed. 

So Mimi’s party is one of the weirdest in MIC’s history. First of all, it’s unclear where it’s being held. Is this Mimi’s home? The variety of strategically-positioned furniture suggest it’s actually at a chain of Benson’s For Beds.

Secondly, the only real reason there seems to be for dubbing it a ‘pajama party’ is that they get to hit each other with pillows that haven’t been sewn properly, so that the feathers go everywhere. Are they hypo-allergenic, one wonders?

Oh, there’s a bathroom being used as somewhere to sit and drink in, so it can’t be Benson’s For Beds. Dare they have hired out a Homebase? There are oddly-placed people standing around said bathroom by the sinks and the towel rails, while James and Toff sit in the free-standing bath in the centre of the room flirting. James sort of asks Toff to dinner, and she sort of accepts.

Not impressed: Habbs tells Frankie that all is ‘not so rosy poesy and butterflies’ in Liv and Digby’s romance. Frankie then ends up at the bar with Digby who informs her that he ‘doesn’t know her well enough to hate her’. Fujita Level 3 

Not holding back: Frankie then plays her trump card [that Liv has got ‘the ick’] to which he replies: ‘In the folder of s**t that you f**king think of where did you f**king find that?’ Fujita Level 5

How it is: Liv nips round to Frankie’s to tell her ‘I’m going to choose Digby over you’. Then she leaves. A text saying that would have sufficed

Hanging on the telephone: Toff left her phone case at James’ house, because they had a night together, but nothing happened [other than her leaving her phone case there]

Mimi is not with any of her guests. Instead she’s sat in Showroom B on a bed, desperately waiting for Ben to come in and finish the conversation he started a week ago. Have these two not been alone together since Harry barged in on their chat, or have they just not been alone together with a multi-angled camera crew present?

Cringe klaxon! He asks her to be official and Mimi cries ‘You’re my first boyfriend!’ She has been bursting to use that line, you can tell. Probably since the first time she watched Beauty And The Beast and realised men are all perfect. Also, ‘first’ doesn’t bode well for the start of this blossoming romance, does it Mimi? When she gets another one will she christen him her 'second boyfriend'?

Frankie hints that she wants to leave the show for a while and Habbs is worried about who she’s going to do her scenes with. On the stairs, Jamie is loitering in his cotton nightwear. Frankie and he share a cute moment before she walks off, just as a leggy brunette, not dissimilar to Melody, appears. This is Elle – and there will be a prize for whoever can guess what accent she’s putting on, because her diction is terrible.

Moment: Frankie hints that she wants to leave the show for a while and Habbs is worried about who she’s going to do her scenes with

Appearance: Frankie and he share a cute moment before she walks off, just as a leggy brunette, not dissimilar to Melody, appears

Sealed with a kiss: This is Elle – and there will be a prize for whoever can guess what accent she’s putting on, because her diction is terrible