Main Page
From today's featured article
Throughout the ages, the Jewish people have suffered much, created a magnanimous history and tradition, gained riches and knowledge, and more, much more: they managed to piss off just about everyone (they were Jews, after all). It has come to pass that all Jewish holidays are meant to remind the Jewish people of how they suffered, whereabouts they wandered to, and more, much more: they are meant to remind the Jews who they managed to anger. This article is written in remembrance of all the nations out there who tried to tell the Jews how annoying they are, and failed. We shall remember them fondly. (Full article...)
In the news
- Barbara Bush dies (Pictured)
- UnNews remembers Night Court star Harry Anderson
- Hannity named during Cohen hearing
- R. Lee Ermey dies! Don't start blubbering, maggots!
- John Boehner is cool, man
- Putin dumbfounded by concept of free speech
- Trump says: Talk to my lawyer! FBI says "Yeah sure why not"
- Lindsey Buckingham goes his own way, leaves Fleetwood Mac: Dads worldwide in shock
- UnNews writer promoted to admin
- Trump Tower employees fired
- U.S. Government retaliates against Chinese tariffs by executing cute panda
- Why didn't anyone tell me Ron Jeremy was in Ghostbusters?
- For the love of God, somebody please give Björk some Beano!
- Toni Braxton engaged to Birdman
- God to Bozo: "Cram it, clown!"
- Putin wins Russian presidential election in stunning, unexpected upset
Did you know
- ... that your nipples (Pictured) can fall off?
- ... that you're pregnant?
- ... conjuction verb noun preposition article verb noun?
- ... that recent advances in nanobiotechnology have led to advanced, implantable music players capable of holding up to three seconds of low-quality MP3 audio?
- ... that Hitler killed himself out of fear of Soviet capture and torture, not because he saw the gas bill?
- ... that back in my day, we didn't have no fancy Did you know sections on our wikis? We had to get all of our factoids from the library, like decent folk! And after we walked there barefoot across three counties 'cause bicycles hadn't been invented yet, we had to teach ourselves how to read the books - none of that fancy free-contents education you kids're all on about...
- ... that 98% of Americans have no idea what they would do in a hypothetical situation?
- ... that the bird is equal to or greater than the word?
On this day
April 18: Dependence Day (Canada)
- 1485 - A conductor accidentally invents jazz music when the orchestra's metronome goes on the fritz.
- 1524 - The world's first Spanish restaurant is founded by Hernán Cortéz in Tenochtitlan.
- 1958 - The Supreme Court of the United States bans poetry and evicts all known poets from the country.
- 1972 - First state laws mandating public toilets passed in Texas. In protest, Texans urinate in public.
- 1983 - A suicide plumber floods the United States embassy in Beirut, Lebanon.
- 2002 - The internet is officially declared "useless and beyond redemption" by the Norwegian military.
- 2007 - The same orchestra who played jazz band music in 1485 faces the horror of Cole Porter's "Anything Goes."
Be a writer
Unfortunately, anyone can edit Uncyclopedia. Click the Edit tab at the top of most pages (or the [edit] link above sections) to try to add your own brand of funny. If you want to take on other tasks, our introduction will guide you through the basic principles of editing, unless you don't know how to read.
There are many resources to help you along the way:
- How to be funny and not just stupid – for help with that comedy thing
- Formatting – for help on editing
- Requested articles – for inspiration, or lack thereof
- Village Dump – to throw angry invectives at other users
- Community portal – for even more resources
Today's featured picture
Other languages
This Uncyclopedia is written in English, supposedly. Started in 2005, it currently contains 30,474 articles. Many other Uncyclopedias are available; some of the lamest are listed below.
- More than 10,000 articles: Português · Boarisch · 日本語 · Polski · Plattdüütsch · Italiano · Español
- More than 1,000 articles: Français · Suomi · Dansk · Deutsch · 한국어 · 正體中文 · 汉语 · Русский · Norsk (Bokmål) · Bahasa Indonesia · Česky · ไทย · Esperanto · Ελληνικά · Nederlands · Galego · עברית · Svenska · Slovenčina · Magyar · Українська
- More than 100 articles: فارسی · عَرَبِيّ · Türkçe · Català · Norsk (Nynorsk) · Српски / Srpski · Hrvatski · Lietuvių · Latina · Tagalog · Български · Simple English · Latviešu · Mirandés · Македонски · Română · Cymraeg