Quickfire: actor and comedian Mackenzie Crook
Career plan B? Worm farmer.
Ever had therapy? Yes. It’s all my parents’ fault.
Who would play you in the movie of your life? Robbie Coltrane.
Most memorable kiss? A giraffe at Whipsnade Zoo. It was horrible.
Earliest memory? I can remember being born but nothing before that.
Biggest bugbear? Umbrellas.
As a child you wanted to be…in the Household Cavalry.
Secret to a happy marriage? A secret second family.
Where is home? The Northern hemisphere. I’m not going to be any more specific because you’ll come round and eat all my food.
Last meal on earth? Lobster and chips.
Dream date? 14 June.
Advice to your teenage self? Tidy your room and stop slouching.
Secret skill? Hostage negotiation.
On a night off we’d find you…at home enjoying Detectorists [the BBC Four comedy series starring Mackenzie] on dvd.
Starstruck moment? [Actor and former Blue Peter presenter] Peter Duncan trod on my foot.
What did you have for breakfast today? Nothing.
Your karaoke song of choice? ‘It’s Raining Men’ by The Weather Girls.
What would be your secret superpower? The ability to levitate half an inch off the ground: not enough that anyone would notice.
Love is…a dish best served cold.
First record you bought? ‘Pass the Dutchie’ by Musical Youth.
Favourite cliché? I am not an octopus.
Which Mr Man are you? Mr Awkward.
Signature dance move? A jeté [ballet leap].
Brains or beauty? Beauty.
Money or sex? Money.
Are you an optimist or pessimist? Being optimistic will only end in tears.
Style icon? Yes, I suppose I am. Thank you.
Your favourite villain? Paul from Ever Decreasing Circles.
Tech essential? My Telex machine.
Most underrated virtue? Kindness.
And the most overrated? Ambition.
You’re envious of… P Diddy.
Your celebrity crush? [Detectorists co-star] Toby Jones.
Detectorists is available on DVD
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