ABC News medical correspondent blamed herself for her surgeon ex-husband's suicide and says she would have seen him jump off bridge if she had driven over 10 minutes earlier
- Jennifer Ashton's ex husband Robert Ashton Jr. died by suicide February 11, 2017
- Surgeon jumped off George Washington Bridge 10 mins before she drove across
- Parents of Chloe and Alex divorced after 21 years, just 18 days before his suicide
- ABC News correspondent says in new book she blamed herself for his death
- She told PEOPLE her ex left suicide notes saying it's not his family's fault
- Ashton decided to open up after Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain suicides
- Life After Suicide out May 7 aims to help others who've lost loved ones to suicide
ABC News chief medical correspondent Jennifer Ashton reveals she may have seen her ex-husband take his own life if she had left for her workout class just minutes earlier.
The 50-year-old mother-of-two was heading from her New Jersey home to the exercise session in New York around the same time surgeon Robert C. Ashton Jr. jumped from George Washington Bridge on February 11, 2017.
Having finalized her divorce from her spouse of 21 years only 18 days before, Ashton shares in her new book – which provides support, information, and comfort for those attempting make sense of their loss - that she initially blamed herself for his suicide.
'I was on my way to Soul Cycle that morning. I missed Rob by maybe 10 minutes, which is beyond a sickening thought to me,' she writes in Life After Suicide, out May 7.
Jennifer Ashton's ex husband Robert Ashton Jr. died by suicide February 11, 2017. They are pictured 2009
The surgeon jumped off George Washington Bridge 10 minutes before she drove across
Later detectives came to her home – where she lives with son Alex, 20, and daughter Chloe - to break the news of her former spouse's passing.
Ashton continues that law enforcement told her: 'I'm very sorry to tell you, but we found your name on the remains of…' he didn't even finish the sentence.
'I collapsed onto my knees and, as I was collapsing, I heard him say, "Your husband." I became completely hysterical. I started screaming, "No, no, no, no, no".'
ABC News correspondent says in new book Life After Suicide that she blamed herself for his death
The doctor admits it made her doubt the handling of their split after she had believed they'd 'done our divorce well' and was 'excited for everyone's future'.
But after a conversation with her brother, she realized an explanation for the 52-year-old's passing wasn't so simple.
'I finally said to him exactly what I was feeling, and what I imagined everyone was thinking — "This is my fault",' she recalled from a chat with her sibling.
'He put his hands on my shoulders, looked directly into my eyes, and said, "Jen, you're a doctor, I'm a doctor, Rob was a doctor. He would have done this married to you or not married to you. Divorce doesn't cause someone to commit suicide. The reality is, you cannot let this destroy you".'
The mother says she and her children saw a counselor the day after her ex-husband's death and they still see one every so often.
She believes therapy was a huge help for dealing with their anger, guilt shock and feelings of rejection.
'Rob loved Alex and Chloe more than he loved himself. For him to leave them shows how much pain he was in. How can you be angry with someone for being in pain?' she reasons.
The parents of Chloe (center left) and Alex (second right) divorced after 21 years, just 18 days before his suicide. Jennifer is pictured second left and Robert is pictured right
Ashton told PEOPLE her former spouse left suicide notes for the three of them saying it's not his family's fault he killed himself
Ashton said therapy helped the family cope with Robert's death. They first saw a counselor the day after he died. He is pictured with his daughter Chloe
Although she doesn't open up fully about the contents of the three notes he left for her and their children, Ashton confirms in an interview with PEOPLE that he reassured them they were not at fault.
She told the publication: 'The only thing that I'll share from my note is his first line, which said, "First no one is to blame". It speaks to how well he knew me.'
Ashton was reluctant to open up about her personal tragedy on screen but decided to after Anthony Bourdain and Kate Spade killed themselves last year.
Ashton decided to open up about experiencing the suicide of a loved one after Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain killed themselves last year. Ashton is pictured with Robin Roberts on January 7
Ashton's brother helped the doctor understand that her former husband would have taken his own life regardless
She took the first step by appearing on Good Morning America and now in her 'part memoir and part comforting guide' that incorporates the latest insights from researchers and health professionals, Ashton 'opens up completely for the first time', according to the description for her book.
'The end result is a raw and revealing exploration of a subject that's been taboo for far too long,' the blurb states.
For confidential support call the National Suicide Prevention Line on 1-800-273-8255
New book is said to be a 'raw and revealing exploration of a subject that's been taboo too long'. She's pictured at the 10th Anniversary Women In The World Summit in New York on April 11
