'I'd tell myself every day that I hated myself': Game Of Thrones star Maisie Williams admits she felt 'consumed by sadness' as she details her battle with negative thoughts
Maisie Williams has admitted she went through a period when she felt 'consumed by sadness' and 'hated' herself 'every day'.
The Game Of Thrones star, 22, detailed her battle with negative feelings and revealed she has found it 'impossible to turn a blind eye' to social media trolling while growing up in the spotlight during her time on the HBO fantasy drama.
The actress opened up about her struggles with self-love and the pressure of life after her decade-long stint on Game Of Thrones on the new series of Fearne Cotton's Happy Place podcast.
Struggle: Maisie Williams has admitted she went through a period when she felt 'consumed by sadness' and 'hated' herself 'every day' (pictured last month)
Maisie explained: 'It's something I'm really trying to break free from at the moment. I went through a huge period of my life where I'd tell myself every day that I hated myself.
'It got to a point where I'd be in a conversation with my friends and my mind would running and running, and I'd be thinking about all the stupid things I've said in my life and it would just race and race.
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'When I starting digging in and figuring out why I said those things, actually it was nothing to do with myself.
'So many of these problems are really linked to things in your past, as soon as you start digging and start asking yourself bigger questions than "Why do I hate myself", it's more "Why do you make yourself feel this way?"
Opening up: The Game Of Thrones star, 22, detailed her battle with negative feelings during an appearance on the new series of Fearne Cotton's Happy Place podcast
'The answers to all of these questions really are within you'.
The actress added that she still struggles to 'let sadness wash over' her without it 'consuming' her.
She said: 'One thing I learnt is that everyone is a little bit sad and it was really eye opening to me to understand that. I'm still definitely really struggling to let sadness wash over me without it consuming me.
'There as a period of time that I was really sad and then I sort of came out of that. It's now really terrifying that you’re ever gonna slip back into it, and I think that's something that I'm really working on.'
The Game of Thrones star admitted she often found herself 'going down a rabbit hole' due to a 'constant feed in her back pocket' which began to 'consume' her.
Maisie told Fearne: 'There's just a constant feed in your back pocket of what people think of you. It's impossible to turn a blind eye.
'When people are on social media they feel like whatever they write, no ones gonna see it, no ones gonna read it, but they do and it will affect them for a really long time.
'When I do feel myself going down a rabbit hole, it gets to a point where you're almost craving something negative so you can sit in a hole of sadness. It's really bizarre the way that it starts to consume you.'
Regrets: Maisie, who has appeared as Arya Stark in Game of Thrones since the first season aired in 2011, insisted she has 'definitely done things' she regrets (pictured in character)
The former child star said she has now come to accept that her personality is not to everyone's taste and she 'really likes' parts of herself that jar others.
'My boyfriend said, "You're an acquired taste"!', she said. 'But I heard that as just a compliment, because I thought, "Do you know what? It's true, and those bits that are a bit jarring to some people are the bits that I really like about myself".'
Maisie, who has appeared as Arya Stark in Game of Thrones since the first season aired in 2011, insisted she is 'not a model human' and has 'definitely done things' she regrets.
She said: 'I've definitely said things that I regret, and I've definitely done things I regret, and haven't been the best role model at certain times.
She said: 'I've definitely said things that I regret, and I've definitely done things I regret, and haven't been the best role model at certain times' (pictured last month)
'I remember telling myself there's no worse role model than someone who isn't being genuine.
'Everyone makes mistakes and things happen that you regret, and if you try and paint the picture of a perfect girl you're only gonna get found out, so just do you, and that's what girls should look up to.
'I'm definitely not model human. I still lie in bed at night at 11pm telling myself everything I hate about myself. There's still a journey I think.'
Maisie explained she now 'tries to be more genuine' after going through 'a lot of real revelations' in her personal life last year.
The end: Maisie also discussed life after Game of Thrones, which is set to air its final episode next Sunday (pictured as Arya)
The actress also discussed life after Game of Thrones, which is set to air its final episode next Sunday.
The New Mutants star said she just wants 'a normal life with people I love' and not 'this crazy crazy world' of fame.
She said: 'People keep asking me, the show is gonna end what do you want, and I'm like, honestly I want a normal life with people that I love and people that I know are true and care about me.
'And I don't want any of this crazy crazy world because it's not worth it.'
Maisie also explained she can't 'judge her success' on the projects she stars in after Game of Thrones, because the show 'was very different from anything that was ever done before'.
She said: 'I wanna feel like whatever I do next is something I'm really proud of.'
Back to normality: The New Mutants star said she just wants 'a normal life with people I love' and not 'this crazy crazy world' of fame (pictured last month)
