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And Baby Makes More: Known Donors, Queer Parents, and Our Unexpected Families
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And Baby Makes More: Known Donors, Queer Parents, and Our Unexpected Families

4.10  ·  Rating details ·  68 ratings  ·  21 reviews
And Baby Makes More: Known Donors, Queer Parents, and Our Unexpected Families explores the role of the "known donor" in the queer family structure: what happens when would-be dyke moms or gay dads ask a friend or acquaintance to donate sperm or an egg, or to act as a surrogate? A quirky, funny, and occasionally heartbreaking collection of personal essays, this book offers ...more
Paperback, 235 pages
Published October 26th 2010 by Insomniac Press (first published October 1st 2009)
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 ·  68 ratings  ·  21 reviews

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May 01, 2011 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: queer, revolution
My girlfriend picked this book up for some close friends who are diving into baby-making with a known donor (who is also my close friend and housemate). I saw it on the table, picked it up and couldn't put it down -- the intended recipients had to wait for me to finish! I loved experiencing the vastly different perspectives, roles, and backgrounds represented in this book. Many of the folks represented here are different from me in a variety of ways -- class, race, even values -- but that's part ...more
Jun 09, 2011 rated it liked it
I wanted to like this book more than I did, sadly. The quality of the essays felt uneven, for starters. I'm well aware that some of my reservations about the book are because I'm well past the "spoog in a jar" stage and it's no longer that interesting. Also, my kids' other mom and I are no longer in relationship and, if forced to label myself, I would say I'm a single dyke mom with halftime respite care.

Given my current life situation in the Midwest with very little in the way of queer
May 02, 2011 rated it really liked it
Shelves: kids
I am so glad this book exists and that i had the opportunity to read it. It's the most radical view of what it means to be a "parent" I've read. As the fetus soon becomes a baby I felt the least alone I have felt in months while reading this book and that my parent/not parent dilemma might be shared by some other folks out there.

Tho I'm the second adult in this household not the donor I found all these stories interesting and supportive of our attempts to "do this differently"
Oct 26, 2009 rated it liked it
I put this collection on my to-read list as soon as I heard of its impending publication--regardless of the quality of the book, I was so excited to have anything to read that remotely mirrored how we chose to create our family. Like all anthologies, there's a wide variation in the eloquence of the pieces. And because the editors were clearly committed to representing the full spectrum of how this kind of situation can play out, there are a few stories that made me cringe and hope this book ...more
Molly Westerman
A very worthwhile read for anyone who's interested in parenting, reproductive experiences, and/or queer reconfigurations of the nuclear family. Like every anthology ever, it's a bit uneven: a few pieces were less-than-engaging for me, many are quite good, and others are gems.

And Baby Makes More is particularly strong in including diverse experiences, identities, and perspectives (including parents, donors, and children) as it explores 'known donor' families. It is also absolutely full of love.
this was quite good, and I just wanted more - more families, more details, more arrangements, more words, more options. the essays were pretty revealing and personal; it felt like I got to sit down with a whole bunch of queers who are just around life's next big corner from me and hear about how they're doing it. what a gift.
Dec 22, 2009 added it
I'm biased -- I edited it!
Jan 16, 2018 rated it really liked it
This book is a must read for anybody learning about queer families, or looking to start one themselves. I chose to read this book in order to get a better handle on known donorship. It's a good read, from a variety of sources on the topic. Each story has a different voice and different perspective.

I liked that quite a few of the stories were different perspectives of the same family; once the base information was established, it was a lot easier to "get to know" the authors and how they fit
Aug 23, 2019 rated it it was amazing
Any person considering growing a family through any kind of known-donor scenario will enjoy this book. Although the mystic of “unknown” parameters and possible situations increased as a I read, it was enlightening to hear all of the different perspectives. So good.
Kaity Molé
Jul 08, 2018 rated it really liked it
This was a super refreshing read and was beautiful to read all the different family formations. It did get a little repetitive towards the end with donor sperm stories but overall was really great.
Dec 06, 2010 rated it really liked it
Shelves: 2010, ladyish
It's tough to rate this book because there is almost nothing like it to compare it to. It's an anthology of personal stories that span the spectrum of what families might look like when created with queer parents and known donors. There are lesbians, dykes, gay men, bisexual & straight people represented in this book. There are people all across the gender spectrum, and people and across the spectrum of monogamy and polyamorous relationships, as well as households that are shared or ...more
Really an 3.5, but not quite a 4, so... I've been on a "validating myself and my life choices" kick, so reading about chosen families- wether that be queer families, poly families, single parent families, etc. etc., have felt really good. All these stories vary but have a single theme- families coming together for/because of a child and/or growing to include a child. I wish there had been more adoption (non-kinship and/or not just gay adoption of a partner's biological child). I enjoy stretching ...more
Feb 01, 2014 rated it liked it
3.5 stars? I wish there was more diversity here, both in the stories told and in the families telling them. it seemed like mostly stories about sperm donors and folks who used donors to help have kids, and i would've liked to hear more stories from folks who had surrogates carry their kids. it would also have been grand to hear from more trans folks, but that could just be my selfish/achey desire to hear more stories about families like mine.
Oct 03, 2010 rated it liked it
I very much enjoyed this anthology and reading different perspectives and experiences of different family structures. A special standout was one woman's artistic representation (not really a "comic" comic) of her infertility experiences as well as her partner's experience of getting pregnant. It was beautifully drawn and written, and very moving.

My main criticism is that the writing quality was uneven and some pieces would have benefited from more editing, in my opinion.
Aug 22, 2012 rated it it was amazing
Shelves: queer-parenting
A really great book. I didn't resonate with every story, but the variety was such that I found a connection in most. Good editing, clear language that wasn't academic. I've recommended this to everyone interested in queer parenting!
Oct 27, 2009 rated it it was amazing
A really good collection representing a diverse range of queer families' experiences.
Mar 12, 2016 rated it really liked it
Shelves: 2016
I enjoyed some of these stories. It definitely got me thinking about queer parenting in ways that had not occurred to me before.
Nov 12, 2011 rated it it was amazing
Great variety of perspectives on creating families with known donors.
Elisa Rolle
Aug 23, 2011 rated it it was amazing
2010 Rainbow Awards Honorable Mention (5* from at least 1 judge)
Oct 25, 2009 rated it it was amazing
Fabulous book!!
Nov 04, 2014 rated it it was amazing
Beautifully written.
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Aug 05, 2011
Erin Price
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Sep 21, 2011
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Jul 07, 2015
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Sep 12, 2010
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Dec 03, 2018
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Aug 06, 2019
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