AFTER THE ATTACK: PORTRAITS OF GRIEF: THE VICTIMS; Still Alive in the Hearts Of Those Who Loved Them

The official number of deaths in the destruction of the World Trade Center stood yesterday at 190, and the medical examiner has identified only a few dozen victims; almost 5,000 are listed as missing. Here are glimpses of some of those lives.

RAYMOND R. YORK

'He Always Was My Hero'

Raymond R. York spent nearly two decades fighting blazes and loving the New York Fire Department when a shoulder injury 18 months ago forced him into light duty. But he found a second calling, teaching children about fire safety at the Fire Zone at Rockefeller Center. There, he was ''Fireman Ray'' to the youngsters whom he captivated.

But on Tuesday, he learned of the World Trade Center attack from a television crew that was doing a story on the Fire Zone, jumped onto a nearby fire truck and headed downtown. After traffic held him up, he hitched a ride on an ambulance and reached the Fire Department's command post at the trade center.

''We're so proud and we just want everybody to know what a great guy Ray was,'' his wife, Joan, said. ''Everybody's saying, 'He's a hero, he's a hero.' He always was my hero. Now the world knows he's a hero.''

She described her husband as a man in love with life, a man who insisted on flying the flag. ''He was a Little League coach, he was a scout leader -- when it came to his kids, he was there for everything,'' she said. That included building an ice skating rink in the backyard of their Valley Stream, N.Y., home when his son, one of four children, wanted to learn how to skate.

NANCY MUNIZ

Improving Self, and Others

Her son, now 8, was born with a developmental difficulty and could not walk at first. But Nancy Muniz had taken a course in massage therapy and supplemented the therapy he received through his school with some of her own. Now, his aunt Ada Muniz said, he walks just fine and ''everybody says he's real intelligent.''

''We both had a real interest in helping others, and in helping to better ourselves,'' she added.

Toward that end, Nancy Muniz, who was working as an administrative assistant at the World Trade Center, liked to watch Oprah Winfrey's show and to read self-help books. She would also get together with Ada for the occasional spirit- and body-toning yoga class.

The two sisters even tossed around the idea of starting a physical therapy business together. ''But on account of circumstances,'' Ada Muniz said, ''I never got a chance to pursue it.''

JACK D'AMBROSI

Hooking the Big One

''Fishing, fishing, fishing.''

That was what Karen D'Ambrosi said her husband, Jack, liked to do most when he wasn't at work, or helping out at church, or coaching one of his two daughters in soccer or basketball. Luckily, he had a friend with a lake on his property a few miles away from the couple's Woodcliff Lake, N.J., home, so almost every weekend, from April to October, he would cast a line. His best catch came this past summer, a beautiful 32-pound striped bass. (''Or was it 32 inches?'' Karen wondered. ''I don't know. It was big.'') She even has a picture of him with it.

''He would come back from fishing trips loaded with bags and bags of fish and fish fillets,'' she remembered, laughing, ''And he would just give it away, up and down our street. So everywhere we'd go, all over town, there would be people thanking him for the fish, you know, saying, 'We just had a barbecue, Jack, it was great.' ''

KATIE MARIE McCLOSKEY

Simply Awesome

Even in grade school in South Bend, Ind., Katie Marie McCloskey and Cherese Djakiewicz were best friends, and somewhere along the way -- maybe it was at Indiana University together -- they both began sharing a dream: to move to New York City. And so, when Cherese moved to Manhattan a couple of years ago, it was inevitable that Katie would follow. It took a while, but Katie finally arrived to share Cherese's apartment three months ago. Six weeks ago Katie found a job on the 97th floor of 1 World Trade Center, staffing the computer help desk of Directfit Inc., rushing to the aid of employees.

Now her sisters, Leslie and Julie, her brother, Noah, and her father, Richard, are in Manhattan searching for her. The other night, they discovered Katie's journal in Cherese's apartment. ''She wrote 'I made it!' and that she loved it in New York,'' said her mother, Anne. Actually, Katie's exact words were that she had found ''an awesome job in an awesome place in an awesome city.''

KALYAN K. SARKAR

Building Bridges and Family

The idea of constructing things for the Port Authority of New York and New Jersey was so fundamental to Kalyan K. Sarkar, a 53-year-old civil engineer, he would have found the destruction of two skyscrapers unimaginable. ''He is a man who spent his life building -- bridges and tunnels and just about anything the Port Authority put up,'' said his son Kishan, who was looking forward to his father's birthday party two Saturdays from now.

The family finds some hope in the fact that Kalyan really knew buildings. He phoned his wife, Anarkali, from Tower 1 to explain that he and 12 of his co-workers were trapped on the 64th floor, the elevators were sealed, and they were headed to the stairs. Then he was cut off. Kishan, a computer programmer in New Jersey, is grateful that his father asked him to leave work early Monday night to come to their home in Westwood, N.J., to help his father with some Web site work. ''I was lucky to be there,'' he said.

SHREYAS RANGANATH

Bollywood and Nan

They call Bangalore the Silicon Valley of India, and when the city, in southern India, became a hot place for high-tech enterprise several years ago, Shreyas Ranganath, 26, threw himself into the world of software design. ''For him, it became an addiction,'' Manoj Baalebail, a longtime friend, said. ''He had a great love for software.''

Last month, that love brought Shreyas to New York on a three-month project for Marsh & McLennan, on the 97th floor of 1 World Trade Center. Mr. Baalebail, who works for the same consulting company, put Shreyas and another software designer, Shashi Kiran Kadaba, up in his Hackensack home, where they spent their evenings cooking elaborate Indian meals or watching Hindi films. ''He appreciated Hollywood movies, but he had a great taste for Indian movies.'' Monday night, the men shared a feast to celebrate the birthday of Krishna, the Hindu god. ''It was a wonderful dinner we had,'' Mr. Baalebail said. ''I just don't want to think of it as his last.''

L. RUSSELL KEENE III

'I Know Just Where He Is'

L. Russell Keene III, a 33-year-old equities analyst at Keefe Bruyette & Woods, was such an avid sportsman that he once hiked through New Zealand for two solid months. ''He has plenty of stamina to survive,'' said his wife, Kristen, who is offering him more than just spiritual support. The other day Kristen, who lives in Westfield, N.J., was escorted by Union County sheriffs to the disaster site outside 2 World Trade Center. Instead of standing there offering respectful witness, ''I wanted to go dig him out,'' she said, ''but they wouldn't let me. I know just where he is.'' Two other employees from Bruyette escaped from an elevator jammed near the lobby, and reported that Russell and 15 others were alive inside. Then the building collapsed. And so, while Kristen and other Bruyette relatives tried to lobby the rescuers to dig near the elevator, she remembered the man she met six years ago in Ocala, Fla., saying simply: ''I loved him from the start.''

JOHN F. ISKYAN

The Surprise Party

John F. Iskyan got up regularly at 5 a.m., rode the train in from Wilton, Conn., and was at his desk in the World Trade Center by 7 a.m. He would return home at 7 or 8 p.m. ''Everything John did, he researched it, he studied it, he looked hard at it,'' Bob Keeling, a brother-in-law, said yesterday. ''He didn't want to do it half-baked.''

John Iskyan was competitive and loyal, Mr. Keeling said. He played high school lacrosse in Manhasset and became an avid skiier and hiker at St. Michael's College in Colchester, Vt. He joined Cantor Fitzgerald out of college and worked his way up to partner. After the 1993 trade center bombing, Mr. Keeling said, John disliked the building. But he would not leave the firm.

On the Saturday before last, he held a surprise 40th birthday party for his wife, Margaret, at the Old Town Hall in Wilton, with about 50 friends and family members, a two-piece band and a lot to eat. He had started planning the party a year ago, Mr. Keeling said. Even the Iskyans' children, Peter, 12, and Carolynn, 9, kept the secret.

''It was a great night,'' Mr. Keeling said. ''John had done such a beautiful job. And it thrilled his wife.''

DAVID RICE

Turning Things Around

David Rice was the student with the grade point average of less than 2, who was voted most likely to succeed in high school. He was constantly in trouble. He would do things like rent a warehouse in Oklahoma City, hire a rock band, charge $10 a head and make thousand of dollars before the police broke up the party.

Still, as a teenager in Oklahoma City, he read biographies of Donald Trump and told his family that that was the kind of entrepreneur he would be. At age 31, David was an investor in bonds at Sandler O'Neill & Partners, in the south tower. ''He drove his clients crazy but they loved him to death,'' says his younger brother, Andrew. ''He was a pistol.''

His life was marked by huge turnarounds. He had hit bottom in his early 20's from alcoholism and drug use. He dropped out of college. Then he began his recovery. He became a Fulbright scholar in Zimbabwe and South Africa. He earned a master's degree from the London School of Economics. Last February he transferred to New York from Chicago, where he had lived for 10 years.

''He was very real,'' his brother says. ''He wasn't perfect but he was so wise for his age.''

FREDERICK KUO JR.

Part of Church's Soul Is Gone

At the Community Church of Great Neck, Frederick Kuo Jr. was always at the center of everything. His parents had also been active there and so he just grew up with it. ''He poured a lot of everything he has into the church,'' said Fred Kuo, the oldest of Frederick's four children. ''So many people were dependent on him for everything.''

Frederick's contributions ranged from helping to set up for services to giving occasional readings to arranging for members to get there, even when it meant enlisting his children or driving them himself.

Recently, the church merged with a Chinese congregation, to bring new young members into its aging congregation. As usual, Frederick, whose mother is Filipino and whose father is Chinese, was right there to help bridge the gap. His son said that the new members identified with his father even though he was Asian-American and didn't speak any Chinese. ''I've often thought to myself,'' Fred Kuo said, ''that church wouldn't run without him.''

ROBERT PARKS JR.

Of Home and Home Runs

Robert Parks Jr. was called the sports trivia specialist on Wall Street. ''He had an unbelievable memory if you ever wanted to know who had the first home run or who was the first guy to get the Triple Crown,'' said his younger sister, Carol Parks Clancy. And though his mind simply brimmed with facts about sports, he was also no slouch on the movement of the stock market since 1929.

He was a bonds broker at Cantor Fitzgerald in 1 World Trade Center, and liked the energy of New York City. But he was really a homebody. At 47, he was the married father of two teenagers. He was content to barbecue burgers on the pool deck of his home in Middletown, N.J. His enthusiasm for sports played out through his children. His 16-year-old daughter, Bridgette, is a big swimmer, and he would go to her meets, checking out her times. He was also a coach for the basketball team of his 14-year-old son, Kevin. He himself had played high school varsity basketball and football at St. Peter's Preparatory School in Jersey City.

EUGEN LAZAR

Hunger for Answers

Eugen Lazar was a child with a million questions. How does our body work, his mother once recalled him asking their pediatrician back in Bucharest when he was 3. When we stop walking, what makes us stop? ''All these questions,'' said Siu Chong, his girlfriend. ''He was always wondering how everything works, always seeking for knowledge.''

A programmer at eSpeed, part of Cantor Fitzgerald, Eugen, 27, had graduated from Cooper Union with a degree in engineering. Fascinated by music and how people hear it, he was building his own speakers. He was a cook and a baker. He and Siu liked to make crepes together; in Paris, they watched closely to see how they were made. They had even tackled chocolate fondue.

An only child, Eugen lived in the Glendale section of Queens in an apartment in the home of his parents, Alecsandru and Elena, who immigrated from Romania in 1985.

He met his girlfriend, a graphic designer, on a camping trip in the Catskills years ago. When he learned years later that she no longer had a boyfriend, he sent her an e-mail message and asked her out for pizza.

Last Sunday, they returned to the restaurant, Lombardi's in SoHo, and remembered their first date. ''He was so perfect for me,'' Siu said.

DEL-ROSE CHEATHAM

A Dream Already Realized

The family of Del-Rose Cheatham was anticipating another great party in celebration of her 49th birthday on Sept. 14. Her last big bash, in the family home in the Poconos with 55 friends and family members, was to celebrate her 2000 graduation from Queens College after years of night school, during which she worked two jobs.

She had already been working as an accounting manager at Cantor Fitzgerald, on the 101st floor of 1 World Trade Center, but the diploma was ''her dream,'' said her brother, Chris Forbes. He was the youngest of five children in Montego Bay, Jamaica, and Del-Rose was the oldest, ''and she was a mother to me; she raised all of us,'' Mr. Forbes said. His sister was a Jehovah's Witness, and loved to do field work, strolling up and down the street and talking to people about God. Now God is very much on the family's mind. ''All we can do is accept,'' said Dunstan Forbes, her father.

KEITH D. McHEFFEY

An Anchor in a Crisis

Keith D. McHeffey was flying home from France two years ago when one of the jet's engines failed and the pilot was forced to drop fuel, turn around and head back toward Ireland. In the panic, distraught flight attendants plucked Keith from his seat, gave him a crash course in emergency landings and assigned him the unenviable job of operating the emergency door and slide.

Keith, 31, inspired confidence. Friends called him for help in the middle of the night and he would come; if a house got flooded, he would be there at midnight helping. ''These kind of things sort of happened to him,'' his mother, Sherry McHeffey, said of the incident on the plane, which landed safely at Shannon Airport. ''We were assuming this was one of the worst things that would ever happen to Keith.''

The son of a broker, Keith had become a trader. He lived in Monmouth Beach, N.J., played in a softball league, skiied and snowboarded, played basketball and rode a mountain bike in Atlantic Highlands, near his home. Two months ago, he took a job at Cantor Fitzgerald. He was planning to work in the firm's new offices in Shrewsbury, N.J., which, his mother said, had been expected to open early this month but turned out not to be ready.

JOSEPH TROMBINO

Close Calls Never Counted

Three people were killed in the 1981 Brink's robbery in Nanuet, N.Y., and Joseph Trombino barely escaped being the fourth. Shot in the shoulder, his left arm hung on by only a thread. It was sewn back on in three operations.

He returned to work as an armed guard two years later. ''He'd done that for so long,'' said his wife, Jean, ''it was like he didn't know what else to do.''

Joseph never spoke about the danger involved in his job. In 1993, he had been making deliveries to the World Trade Center just hours before it was bombed. A close call, but after the 1981 robbery, close calls didn't really count.

Now 68, he was at last planning to retire in a year or so, his wife said. But on Tuesday, as ever, he was up at 2:30 a.m. and out by 3:30 a.m., to make it to work in Brooklyn by 5 a.m. A little after 9 a.m., he was waiting in the armored truck in the basement of the trade center for his three fellow guards to return from the 11th floor. They made it to safety. Joseph called into Brink's from a pay phone, his wife said, to say a policeman had told him to move the truck. The building was shaking and water was cascading down, Joseph said, before the line went dead.

ROBERT LANE CRUIKSHANK

A Very Decent Man

The marriage proposal of Robert Lane Cruikshank was not the stuff of which a maiden dreams. ''My mother always told me how I would feel when I fell in love and I don't feel that way,'' he said, ''but I thought about it and I decided she was wrong.''

Marianne Johnson, sitting in a restaurant in her low-back black dress with the red cabbage roses, married him anyway. Why? ''Because he was the most decent, the most solid -- he was just a good man,'' Marianne says of her husband of 38 years, from their home on Manhattan's Upper East Side.

''I make him sound dull -- we had a house in Stratton that we called Mountain De Open Dour, I was the 'open,' he was the 'dour' -- but he was fun. You could trust him. Grown men have been here crying. He was a rock to everyone we knew.''

Robert, 64, father of two, was a vice president of Carr Futures and worked on the 92nd floor of the north tower.

He and his wife had a home in Beaver Creek, Colo., and he was, his wife says, ''very sportif'' -- he loved tennis, skiing and golf. He sometimes joked about quitting and going on the senior tennis tour, but the truth was, he loved what he did.

A special time? ''He once decided to surprise me and planned a trip to Rome, the entire trip,'' Marianne says. ''It was two weeks, which for Cruikshank was a very long time, because the world was waiting for him to work.''

ANDREW STERN

A Circle of Life

How to fathom the circuitous and horrifying symmetry of the twin towers in the story of Andrew Stern, a Cantor Fitzgerald broker.

''Our lives started together in the World Trade Center and now they have ended with it,'' said his wife, Katie. The couple met there in 1986. That was at Dean Witter Reynolds, as it was then called, when it was in 2 World Trade Center. He was a trader. She was a sales assistant. ''I didn't really know him well,'' she said. ''We met at the copy machine.''

Hindsight reveals how perceptibly, but inevitably, photocopying led to dating, and marriage, and children -- Danny is 7, Emma is 4 -- ''and as the years went by, I fell in love with him more and more,'' Katie said. They both moved on, and out, of the trade center, but Andrew returned -- this time to 1 World Trade Center -- to be a broker in Cantor Fitzgerald's municipal bond department on the 104th floor.

And so it happened that last Saturday they drove in from Bellmore, N.Y., to attend a Manhattan wedding, and stayed overnight in the Roosevelt Hotel. ''I'm so glad to have a memory of that romantic evening,'' Katie said. But when they left on that beautiful Sunday morning, they walked down Fifth Avenue toward Pennsylvania Station, ''and we could both see the trade center, right there before us.''

The following people noted on this page have officially been confirmed dead: Mr. Cruikshank, Mr. D'Ambrosi, Mr. Iskyan, Mr. Lazar, Mr. McHeffey, Mr. Parks, Mr. Rice, Mr. Stern and Mr. York.