Hey Farkers, it's your pal, Fark NotNewsletter writer DisseminationMonkey here. (One last reminder that I am not Drew. I write the NotNewsletters except for the parts credited to others.) Well, after eight years and eight months, I won't be writing the NotNewsletters anymore. I'm also not going to be covering Fark's social media accounts that I've been handling for nine years. It's time for this monkey to pack up my typewriter and my bananas and swing through some other trees. You'll still see me in the comments and maybe some Photoshop contests, but I won't be Fark's official disseminator anymore.

I want to thank this awesome community for being so great and welcoming, and allowing me to try to put a taste of your cleverness in these weekly gift boxes for all these years. You've kept me entertained and informed through so very much: three presidents, so many mass shootings, celebrity deaths, social media platforms turning to the dark side, WTFark, a white and gold or black and blue dress, a televised llama chase, dueling streaming services, Fark parties, a farking global pandemic, the rise of K-pop, Farking beers, and so much more. Reading your comments and headlines and looking at your Photoshops and photos ensured I'd laugh every day, even through hard times, even when I was mourning the deaths of loved ones. I tried to always be fair and highlight some of your best original posts every week, and I hope it helped Farkers feel appreciated and showed you new reasons to appreciate each other. I'm also really grateful for how the Farketplace threads were embraced by the Fark community, with such great participation that brought support to so many Farkers' small businesses. Coming up with the concept for Farketplace is probably what I'm most proud of doing here.

I also want to thank the Fark staff who keep this place running. As is often the case, their jobs are harder than they look, and on top of all that, I was always asking the mods and admins to explain obscure references in Farkers' comments to me. And on that note, please throw your support behind the next NotNewsletter writer. I don't know what kinds of changes are in store for the NotNewsletter, but I do know it's both fun and a lot of work to write, and I'm really looking forward to reading it every week. 

See you in the funny papers.

XOXO,

DisseminationMonkey

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A message from Drew Curtis:  
________________________ 

Much thanks to DisseminationMonkey for their amazing work over the years, it is much appreciated.  We've been reviewing social media effectiveness for the past several months and have pretty much concluded what NPR did recently - social media is great if you want to cultivate an audience on someone else's platform, not so great if you want to cross-pollinate an audience onto your own platform.  There was a time where that wasn't the case, but so it goes.  We won't be shutting down Fark's social accounts completely but we won't be regularly posting there going forward.  The NotNewsletter will continue however, more on that next week.  

Thursday at 4 p.m. it's the Fark News Livestream with Dill, Lucky and me.  Christine is out traveling somewhere with bad connectivity so we'll be without her.  Yet another banner week for weirdness.  One of the features I'm working on is stuff you never knew Harry Bellefonte was involved in behind the scenes, I personally had no idea.  Murder clowns and baby sumo should feature prominently as well.  Come join us!  

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End Drew transmission
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Top Comments

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
iron de havilland shared a personal reaction from a witness to the Starship rocket launch and subsequent explosion
Shostie was shocked by a boss's unreasonable demands
Psychopusher had a hunch about how Farkers felt about a school bus driver hitting the brakes to teach tiny passengers a lesson
Unscratchable_Itch showed us a character that had an undeserved fate
Pocket Ninja looked into the frightening truth about U.S. currency
Archie Goodwin fixed an offensive photo that jtown posted
foo monkey knew how participants in a New Zealand feral cat-killing competition would've known if a cat was feral or not
Sim Tree figured out why the SpaceX Starship rocket exploded
Pinnacle Point was dismayed by a video showing people playing water balloon roulette
NeoCortex42 messed with the space-time continuum

Smart:
Pocket Ninja considered who could be the role model for bad bosses
Madman drummers bummers offered to outwork the CEO
Psychopusher had a hunch about how Farkers felt about a school bus driver hitting the brakes to teach tiny passengers a lesson
atomic-age found out what gets prioritized above fairly compensating employees
Warthog pointed out an important way in which Twitter has changed
Herbie555 gave a giant douche a pass
jamspoon described why Medusa didn't deserve the Gorgon treatment
Ecliptic shared what it's like living in a rural area and having strangers turn around in your driveway
SumoJeb told us how nice it is to have a boss who isn't an asshat
Unobtanium shared a story illustrating how useful Twitter can actually be

Bonus FarkStaff Pick:
Dromaeosaur gave advice for men to potentially learn something about themselves that they might rather not know

CSB Sunday Morning theme: Show & Tell. Show us something cool of yours and tell us about it
Smart: Loris saw a good deed rewarded with art
Funny: peachpicker showed off a vintage treasure

Politics Funny:
Teddy Brosevelt taunted two delicate authoritarians
NewportBarGuy considered what would happen after multiple people were indicted for allegedly working as Russian agents
Angry Drunk Bureaucrat questioned a Texas bill requiring the Ten Commandments be posted in all public school classrooms
MythDragon explained why Russian spy ships aren't as concealed as they think they are in Nordic waters
Please note that toddalmighty made this joke, I didn't

Bonus FarkStaff Pick:
Meatsim1 knew why Florida quickly fired the company that sent an emergency alert to mobile phones at 4:45 Thursday morning

Politics Smart:
Maybe you should drive talked about working in the police department's sex crimes unit
replacementcool discussed accusations made against political enemies
scottydoesntknow examined Donald Trump's logistical concerns about appearing at trial
baka-san explained why some marketing is encouraging
NewportBarGuy shared what it's like to be held accountable


Top Contest Entries

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week

Photoshops:
Yammering_Splat_Vector designed a logo for Elon Musk's X Corp
RedZoneTuba showed us what happens when kitties don't appreciate being judged
chewd put this bunny in danger
GoodDoctorB found comic books in the Overland Hotel gift shop
GoodDoctorB discovered that longhorns can fly
Yammering_Splat_Vector built the Wafer Tower
Snubnose found out this amphibian isn't always so shy
Excelsior put the ritz on
RedZoneTuba gave this butterfly a pair of heavenly wings
GoodDoctorB showed us that handy cats can fly

Farktography theme: Mellow Yellow
Lovesandwich swam through the canola


Upcoming Fark Parties

Saturday, June 24: NYS Craft Brewer's Festival Party in Canalside, Buffalo, NY


Fark Headlines of the Week

A selection of some of the top headlines from last week

Reset the cock

Two hikers rescued from Mount Chocorua before needing to be Frankenburied

Coke™ Bear

RHESSI's pieces falling from the sky tonight

SpaceX flight ends in metaphor

My bitter Pill Ow

Evacuations unconfirmed, but get out of Sudan if you don't want to wind up in Khartoum in a Khartoum graveyard

Adobe bringing denoise with Lightroom update. Status of defunk unknown

Kelp. You know I need some seaweed. Kelp. Not just any seaweed. Kelp. You know I need some seaweed. K-e-e-elp

Damar Hamlin cleared to return to the NFL 4 months after cardiac arrest. Proof that early CPR+AED defibrillation means you too can return to your job after death

New Horizon: Forbidden West update is never gonna give you up, never gonna let you drown, never gonna float around and submerge you

F. Murray Abraham was kicked off "Mythic Quest" for trying to convince his costars to F. Murray Abraham


Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)

Another fun time on the Quiz last week, where I learned that clickbait links in the chumbox are intentionally that annoying because it gets more clicks. After all, intelligent people looking for good content aren't going to click on them anyway, and the kind of people who click on clickbait aren't looking for intelligent headlines and images that capture what the article is about. We have three people in the 1000 club this week to take this basic anatomy quiz that 9 out of 10 adults can't pass, peruse the world's biggest vegetables (#4 is HUGE) and cure their diabetes with this one simple trick after throwing out this vegetable immediately. WoolyManwich came out on top with 1037, followed by wearsmanyhats in second with 1019 and Denjiro in third with 1015. jbc made fourth with 932, and dionysusaur is right behind to round out the top five with 931. 

The hardest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about which movie was the biggest box office flop of 2022. Only 23% of quiztakers knew that with Marvel-like production costs of about $180 million and a marketing budget (including two featurettes) approaching $100 million, but a box office run that raked in a paltry $73.6 million, Disney's "Strange World" lost nearly $200 million for the studio. FWIW, "Black Adam" earned just shy of $400 million against production and marketing of about $250 million, and between both its theater releases "Morbius" somehow made $178 million on a budget of half that amount. 

The easiest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about which American beer Belgian authorities took great pleasure in destroying due to their slogan. 85% of quiztakers knew the customs officials went all Kid Rock on 2,352 cans of Miller High Life, not because they saw a commercial with someone they didn't like enjoying it, but because Miller Coors had the audacity to call it "The Champagne of Beers", and those waffle eaters are rather protective of.... France's claim to the term. After all, we can't have any confused consumers thinking they're actually getting champagne from a 16 oz aluminum can labeled "Made in the USA". 

The hardest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about which Adult Swim animated series was getting a feature length installment called, "Radiant is the Blood of the Baboon Heart". Only 45% of quiztakers recognized that Jackson Publick was the nom de plume of the series creator of "The Venture Bros." The series ran for seven seasons from 2004-2018, while Metalocalypse ran for four seasons from 2006-2013,

The easiest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about what the heck a quahog is. 92% of quiztakers knew that Rhode Island's tourism board was sticking giant stuffed clams in airports around the country to entice people to come there for vacation. Because when I'm in an airport, the one thought that always crosses my mind is "airports are so relaxing. I should come to even more airports when I want to relax on a vacation." Also, if you check out the artist's rendering, I'm not quite sure it conveys what they want it to convey. It looks more like yesterday's half-eaten burrito someone's trying to microwave on a saucer because the big plates are all in the dishwasher, which I'm assuming is a regional delicacy found at Rhode Island college dorm rooms.

If you missed out last week, it's a great time to catch up on the Fark Weird News Quiz now that you know a few of the answers. Congratulations once again to the winners, and we'll do it all again on Friday.

Since it's spring, it seems like a good time for this Fark activity: Draw this squirrel! The squirrel is posted at the top of the comments thread for this Fark NotNewsletter. She or he has been started for you with ears and a tail, so save the pic, print it, or whatever works for you, and fill the rest in. You can be as creative or uncreative as you want, and add a background or even a moose friend if you so desire. You can draw on it, Photoshop it, needlepoint it, whatever you want. Put your squirrel in a tree, on the moon, under the bed, floating in the void -- the only limit is your imagination and probably your artistic skills and like maybe how lazy or energetic you're feeling and definitely your apathy level. Please just keep your squirrel safe for work (even the Fark squirrel preserves his modesty with a layer of fur) and post the result in this week's Fark NotNewsletter comments thread.

I look forward to seeing your squirrels! (That's not a euphemism.)

XOXO,

DisseminationMonkey

________________________

A message from Drew Curtis:  
________________________ 

Hey everyone hope your week's been well.  

The New York Times reported yesterday that Reddit plans to sell API access to its data to companies looking to train up AIs.  While this might seem like a somewhat risky idea, turns out companies have already been using Reddit comments to train AIs for some time now.  Apparently having a huge trove of conversations where real people talk to each other is something highly sought after by AI researchers.  

So I checked Fark's database.  Looks like we have almost 13 million links with close to 161 million comments over 24 years.  Anyone want a crack at it for an AI project?  Can't imagine what a Fark-trained AI would be like though.  Talking nonstop about streetlights, pickles, and slatted chairs no doubt.  Caveat: Don't give it access to guns.  

This week on Thursday at 4 p.m. Eastern -finally- its the Fark News Livestream.  I had to late-cancel last week due to my neighbor successfully locating my fiber internet connection with his lawnmower.  Whoops.  Anyhow, it's been up for a week now, as long as my laptop doesn't die we should be good to go!  What are the chances?  Anyhow, we're locked and loaded for weird news this week, I have over a hundred articles to pare down before then.  Come join us! 
________________________

End Drew transmission
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Top Comments

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
yahyahyah had comforting words for the father of a prank YouTuber who was shot when the family is harassed on the internet
bostonguy shared some information about the Fark community
OdradekRex knew why someone stole two million dimes from a trailer
HugeMistake tested the limits of ChatGPT
indylaw helped fight the H3N8 bird flu
optikeye wasn't happy to see a thread about the "new cow tipping champion" (a dairy farm explosion)
edmo reacted to an article's poor phrasing
MillionDollarMo considered the Dalai Lama asking a boy to suck his tongue
Petite Mel was unsurprised by Baloo Uriza's Okie talk
New Rising Sun noticed a standout photo in an article about a dangerous cave full of crystals

Smart:
Lady J shared a story about an asshat on a flight to Ibiza
yahyahyah had comforting words for the father of a prank YouTuber who was shot when the family is harassed on the internet
The Third Man had a question and then answered it
nmrsnr talked about what to do with your huge lottery winnings
dammit just give me a login shared how special it was to get an issue of Mad Magazine as a child
winedrinkingman confirmed what you probably figured about cops' feelings about body cameras
wademh discussed the position cops put George Floyd's entire body in when they killed him
TotallyHeadless had a theory about why the Forbes "30 Under 30" list seems to be a great place to find terrible people
foo monkey told us about a fun game with the neighbors and the one who kept it going

CSB Sunday Morning theme: The most unusual job you've ever had
Smart: hubiestubert worked for a man who sold antiques and guns
Funny: claytonemery had a temporary job in waste collection

Politics Funny:
whither_apophis found out why some panicky people are so threatened by Bud Light now
Crocoduck commented on the mass shooting in a bank in Louisville, KY
August11 pleaded with the Discord group that a Massachusetts Air National Guardsman allegedly shared top-secret info with
kudayta could tell that Bud Light was hiding something
adamgreeney found an extra reason to buy a new anti-woke beer

Politics Smart:
August11 had a pretty cool idea
gunga galunga described the huge change Bud Light made and how it affects everyone forever
NateAsbestos noticed how Tennessee House Republicans put their noses to the grindstone
weddingsinger suggested a companion to the baby boxes Florida is installing for their anti-abortion baby boom
BigMax looked at the person Ted Nugent referred to as a "Satan artist"


Top Contest Entries

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week

Photoshops:
dlarsen222 found a Lebowski store
Excelsior opened a tattoo parlor
Octafrye's store was for people who're high
GoodDoctorB toyed with this dangling spelunker
RedZoneTuba mocked us and insulted our parents
samsquatch revealed what happens at ant school
jaylight2003 never heard the word impossible
Yammering_Splat_Vector put the tit in attitude
samsquatch rewarded a very good dog
Yammering_Splat_Vector had an unusual rook
Octafrye showed what happens when idiots are threatened by beer

Farktography theme: In the Dark of the Night
orionid showed us a stunning view of the Milky Way


Fark Headlines of the Week

A selection of some of the top headlines from last week

Fox sanctioned for not watching hen house

Now that it is April, western PA decides to take down the holiday trucks from the overpasses

Thirteen killed as bus filled with musicians drives off clef

Tennessee state legislator who wanted to add "hanging on a tree" to state's death penalty options has been removed from justice committee assignment and sent to Transportation, where he'll probably advocate for "back of bus" seating arrangements

Rupert Murdoch noped out of his engagement to Lesley Anne Warren just three weeks after it was announced, because Warren told Murdoch that she believed Tucker Carlson was a messenger from God, and if you can't tell God and Satan apart, well

Abortion drug that was banned, then unbanned, then restricted, is now unbanned. Alito didn't get enough Quid Pro Crow

What is the price of a human life? Well, based on the NRA bribes last election, about $819

Volcano in Kamchatka erupts, threatening many a Farker's Risk strategy

The steaks have never been higher

Judge judges Judge judgement in Judge's favor

Mad magazine legend Al Jaffee folds in at age 102

Seattle settles scanty swimsuit server suit satisfying sleepy sippers


Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)

Another fun time on this week's Quiz, although I still don't understand why Sonic calls their blue drink sticks "Ocean Water." Maybe it's popular among shark furries, I dunno. On the Quiz itself, three people made it into the 1000 club, where we're doing a Drink Stick sampler platter. Unfortunately, the fridge is on the fritz so we're gonna have to be doing them in warm water. runwiz came out on top with 1010, followed by Gibsongrl right behind with 1009, and freakingmoron made fourth with 1008. Tax Boy came in fourth with 989, and Edgewood Dirk rounds out the top five with a respectable 976. 

The hardest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about a Bed Bath & Beyond thief's haul valued at $17,700. Only 38% of quiztakers knew that one guy was able to snag 33 vacuum cleaners in one smash-and-grab at the Youngstown, OH location. As of this writing, no arrests have been made or merchandise recovered, so the "sucks to be him" joke I was planning on putting here won't exactly work. 

The easiest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about which video game theme music was now part of the National Recording Registry of the Library of Congress. 95% of quiztakers heard the Super Mario Brothers theme in their heads when answering this one, and I'm betting the majority ended it with the "Blllt! Dun-dun-duh-dun-dun-duh-dun" when you hit that Koopa Troopa after the first pit in world 1-1. Hopefully they'll not bother with the music from the water levels. 

The hardest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about where GenXer's grew up seeing New York's Hello Deli. Only 55% of quiztakers recognized the deli is just around the corner from the Ed Sullivan Theater, home of The Late Show with David Letterman (now The Late Show with Stephen Colber). Dave's regular bits with owner Rupert Jee made the deli famous and a NYC landmark. If you're in NYC, you should probably stop by for some corned beef and a selfie with Rupert, as he announced his retirement last week and is looking to sell. 

The easiest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about which country announced a landmark in preservation efforts of their wild tiger population. 83% of quiztakers knew that India now had more than 3,000 tigers living in the wild. while China apparently has fewer than Joe Exotic with less than 50 still roaming free. This is just me, but I'm not sure this is great for Indian tourism. "Come to India, see the Taj Mahal, tour the Golden Temple of Amritsar, get eaten by the wild tigers that roam freely!" Then again, people still go to Florida, so maybe imminent death by local fauna is not that big of a deal breaker.

If you missed out last week, now's a great time to catch up on the Fark Weird News Quiz. Congratulations once again to the winners, and we'll be doing it again on Friday.

________________________

A message from Drew Curtis:  
________________________ 

Hey everyone, hope your week's been well.

We actually did an Easter egg hunt at our house this past Sunday.  The kids are all teenagers now but they requested it - they have memories of doing it when they were little and hey, free candy regardless.  My favorite Easter memory came about by complete accident about ten years ago.  We were pulling into the driveway the Saturday night before Easter and I saw a bunny in our front yard.  Totally forgetting what day tomorrow was, I said "hey there's a bunny" and all three kids jumped up and exclaimed "IS IT THE EASTER BUNNY?"  They refused to believe it wasn't, and were so excited they couldn't fall asleep until well after midnight.  On a similar note, I was never able to convince them Santa Claus wanted beer instead of milk.  

As parents, we decided not to tell them that Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny etc. were real, however we let them figure out their own mythology from other kids.  Which they mostly got right, except for some reason Chance became convinced that Jesus lived in the church and spent most of his time eating hot dogs.  I tried to explain that Jesus was Jewish and there's a thing against eating pork but he wasn't having any of it.  He also decided the sun was a planet and that sharks weren't real.  I didn't spend a lot of time trying to convince him otherwise, I figured it would all shake out eventually.  It did.  

Thursday at 4 p.m. Eastern it's the Fark News Livestream!  We had to late-cancel last week due to a lack of material, but that won't be happening this week.  We've had an atmospheric river of weird news this week, so much that I'll be having trouble figuring out what to cut.  So much that I can't even tease it.  I will say that at least two of the articles are among the weirdest I've ever read.  And I've been doing this almost 25 years so that's saying something.

________________________

End Drew transmission
________________________ 


Top Comments

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
Martian_Astronomer explained how Elon Musk is fixing Twitter
Nobody in Peculiar helped a fellow Farker get a goth chick fix
brantgoose asked a question about Musk's attempt to end the $258 billion Dogecoin racketeering lawsuit against him
Ass_Master_Flash told Italy what will happen if they keep trying to ban English
Lighting described a reason aside from wealth for having the couch set away from the wall
jbc wanted to see an unusual double feature, and then another one
bostonguy made a dated reference
kbronsito thought about how tragedy could've been avoided by people climbing a frozen waterfall
WickerNipple knew why a private Christian school would demand a sexual abuse victim of a former coach sign a "hold harmless agreement" before being allowed on the team
kbronsito told us what a school resource officer who grabbed a substitute teacher by the neck and dragged her down the hall did wrong

Smart:
Walker discussed a YouTuber who got shot while pranking a stranger at the mall
stoli n coke looked at how Roseanne Barr farked up her chance for a comeback
Boudyro talked about some of the clueless things people sometimes say to childless adults
fiddlehead shared a tip for having a peaceful and fair family Easter egg hunt
FormlessOne considered the mentality that leads a person to stand behind glass doors and windows to get video of a tornado
Pocket Ninja brought up a phenomenon that is commonly seen in Fark threads
yahyahyah could understand what would cause someone to do something foolish

CSB Sunday Morning theme: "Well that was unexpected"
Smart: Petey4335 ran into an ex at a wedding
Funny: MythDragon got to see a cartoon play out in real life

Politics Funny:
maddan could tell why nobody applauded a speech Vladimir Putin gave in the Kremlin
Clash City Farker told us the real reason for the 34-count felony indictment of Donald Trump
null figured that arrogantbastich had an appropriate snack prior to learning Trump could possibly be charged with obstruction
snowjack warned us about the new United Auto Workers president, Shawn Fain
Monty_Zoncolan was almost ready to go to civil war after Trump's indictment

Politics Smart:
claytonemery looked at the plus side of a Newsmax guest's rant that young protesters should be sent to a third-world country
Snapper Carr considered what Marjorie Taylor Greene faced when she went to protest Trump's indictment
ThomasPaineTrain shared the proper way to remember the Confederacy
JustSurfin discussed problems young voters could run into
shastacola gave us some information about the judge who ordered a hold on FDA approval of mifepristone


Top Contest Entries

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week

Photoshops:
rnatalie did not impress Miss Lily Brayton
Driver found out that Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis is not going to have us making fun of his boots again
Yammering_Splat_Vector was playing with a glass shuttlecock
RedZoneTuba gave this lamp a new look
Yammering_Splat_Vector did the thing with the center square
clovercat showed that Trump fans figured out how to keep boats from sinking at their boat parades
RedZoneTuba's touristy picture got photobombed
GoodDoctorB felt like dancing
clovercat played with water towers
clovercat showed us an astronaut enjoying an art installation

Farktography theme: Bent and Broken
Lovesandwich photographed a Swamp Ghost. Jinkies!


Fark Headlines of the Week

A selection of some of the top headlines from last week

Attacking a Pepsi driver on the road? What are you, some kind of Coke fiend?

♫ Finland, Finland, Finland, you're now a full NATO country ♫ Your borders protected, no Russians will call ♫ Finland, Finland, Finland...Finland has it all ♫

WHO warns of new Omicron variant. Scientists, presumably

Ruby Bridges again wins a fight to enter an elementary school

Massive ring of flamboyantly costumed groomers exposed in Baltimore

Mother do you think they'll like this song?

Bob Knight is battling an "undisclosed illness." Throw him your thoughts and chairs

Salmon are now Salmoff


Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)

Another fun time on the Quiz this week, where I learned car forums are sometimes a better place to get information on car repair than YouTube, and also that Yogi Berra had an illicit silverware collection. On the Quiz itself, JasonOfOrillia came out on top with 1015, but since the big screen's on the fritz we're going to be stuck watching "The Room" on a 13" Chromebook in the 1000 club. rick42 came in second with 989, with gunsmack right behind with 988. poorjon made fourth with 981, and Last of the Hippies is also last of the top five with 971. 

The hardest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about which automaker was recalling 140,000 SUVs and warning people not to sit in the front passenger seat because the airbag might not deploy. Only 40% of quiztakers knew that it was Volkswagen who was running into issues with the sensor that determined whether the seat was occupied in their Atlas and Atlas Cross Sport models. I'm guessing the other 60% were like me and unaware Volkswagen sold an SUV in the US, much less that it had sold 140,000 of them. We never had recalls and warnings that your life was at risk for sitting in a particular seat before they started putting airbags in cars, just sayin'. 

The easiest question from last week's Hard Quiz was about what invention we just celebrated the 50th anniversary of. 81% of quiztakers knew that Dr. Marty Cooper, then an engineer with Motorola, made the first handheld cell phone call from the streets of Manhattan on April 3, 1973. The great thing about this was that, it being New York, he knew he could walk around talking to a 2 1/2 lb. brick held to his head and no one would pay any attention. Fun fact: he didn't call his mother, something I'm sure he heard about everything Thanksgiving, but instead a rival engineer at AT&T's Bell Labs to tell him his team had beaten them to the punch. So yes, the very first cell phone call was an unsolicited advertisement from a phone company,

The hardest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about what the producers at "The View" did to reduce sounds resembling flatulence that were making it on the air. Only 36% of quiztakers knew that they've always had cloth furniture, and the sounds were coming from their ceramic mugs scraping across the glass. I mean, if it were me, I would have told them to just drink their wine out of wineglasses like everyone else instead of ceramic coffee mugs like they're a bunch of broke college students, but I guess that's why I'm not a daytime talk show producer.

The easiest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about which beer brand had lots of people in a tizzy on social media for daring to pay for an ad by a trans influencer. 82% of quiztakers knew that Kid Rock, who for some reason has aged two decades in the last couple of years, decided to shoot several cases of Bud Light to show.... I dunno, that he just bought several cases of the product he's mad at? Maybe no one should tell him that Happy Dad, the seltzer brand he endorses, previously collaborated with Caitlyn Jenner and featured her on their social media. 

If you missed out last week, it's a great time to catch up on the Fark Weird News Quiz now that you know a few of the answers. Congratulations once again to the winners, and we'll do it all again on Friday.

________________________

A message from Drew Curtis:  
________________________ 

Hey everyone, hope your week's been well.

Last Thursday we ran a block ad blockers test.  We had to drop it earlier than expected due to politics-related News Cycle stuff.  The idea was to try to get a comparison with the previous Thursday, but that became impossible when we got hit with that traffic spike.  However, looking at the six hours' worth of data, it doesn't look like blocking ad blockers moved the needle at all.  

We did however get a bunch of new subscriptions during the test.  Which got me wondering, does anyone have any idea for some subscription drive stunts we/I could do?  I've been considering a livestreamed evening of me drinking bourbon out of a wine glass culminating in me deleting the politics tab again like I did 10 years ago.  But surely there are other ideas?  I'm game for whatever, post your thoughts in the comments.  

The Fark News Livestream will be a game-time decision this week.  Politics sucked all the air out of the news cycle this week, but if it rallies by noon tomorrow we'll do it. Also of note, Dill's house had a close call with a tornado just hours after last week's livestream.  Family is fine, house is fine, chickens are fine, but he's now the proud owner of a pile of dead trees stacked higher than his house.  Hopefully he'll drink too much one evening and light that sucker on fire like a rural Indiana burning man or something.  Anyhow, keep an eye out, we'll know by noon tomorrow.
________________________

End Drew transmission
________________________ 


Top Comments

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
Louisiana_Sitar_Club recognized someone who was strolling around Little Rock with a big-ass tornado in the background
NotCodger thought about how a time traveler would use a mobile phone in 1943
steklo had one thought when it came to a middle schooler using a PowerPoint presentation to threaten 10 other kids in class
oldfarthenry figured a 9th-century Viking is still paying a price for a "bum-splitting" poop
scottydoesntknow considered the worst part about your 12-year-old neighbor killing you to steal your guns then being caught because of a pizza receipt
BumpInTheNight pointed out the most depraved part of threatening classmates in an in-class PowerPoint presentation
Wessoman made an observation about the name of a popular new Girl Scout cookie
Ivo Shandor rewrote a headline about a charter school principal who sent a $100k check to a scammer impersonating Elon Musk
I Have A Bo Burnham GIF For That proved Wireless Joe wrong about the giant Viking poop
The Pope of Manwich Village commented about the plan to return an orca to the ocean after nearly 50 years of captivity

Smart:
BizarreMan "accidentally" taught a coworker a lesson about pranking
Wessoman potentially identified the model of mobile phone a time traveler was photographed with in 1943
NewportBarGuy discussed the types of animals that are in aquariums
Robinfro explained a woman's reaction when strangers put a bucket over her head for a TikTok prank
DoughyGuy analyzed a Viking's dropping
gilatrout described some of the reasons it can be so hard to evict squatters
MrBallou cited an early warning about building oceanfront homes that people in Rodanthe, NC should've heeded
Hey Nurse! talked about vacations not going as expected

CSB Sunday Morning theme: Learning to drive
Smart: cherryl taggart taught a speed demon how to drive
Funny: WyDave went to great lengths to earn a nickname

Politics Funny:
monsatano explained what happened to the shirt of a man who's purported to be Trump fan Catturd
grokca pointed out why you should never question Lauren Boebert
North_Central_Positronics assured Ron DeSantis that Florida would not have to help extradite Trump to New York
bobtheme discussed the reaction on Fox News to Trump's indictment
Tell Me How My Blog Tastes described how people reacted to the number of charges against Trump

Politics Smart:
Lyger shared a message for Transgender Day of Visibility
snowjack found the weapon that Russia bragged about having that could destroy the United States
BigMax noticed that Republicans have been using a certain word a lot lately
Grand_Moff_Joseph had a suggestion for universities that have low enrollment numbers because of the politics of the state they're in
discotaco thought that Fox News accidentally came up with their new slogan


Top Contest Entries

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week

Photoshops:
GoodDoctorB turned these pendant lights into something that could never ever possibly destroy us
Yammering_Splat_Vector knew that this chick is an awesome skier
RedZoneTuba showed us an intimidating motorcycle racer
RedZoneTuba relaxed in the music room
Stephen_Falken made Shatner's flight into the Twilight Zone even worse
Herb Utsmelz knew what to put in the center square
Stephen_Falken made an album cover
rnatalie discovered that ceiling cat has branched out
whatsupchuck demonstrated what these long longs can do
west.la.lawyer found the next Heisman Trophy winner

Farktography theme: Free For All 3
orionid captured a magical scene of a white wolf in a sunbeam


Fark Headlines of the Week

A selection of some of the top headlines from last week

♫ Oompa Loompa doopity doo / We found another body for you / Oompa Loompa doopity dee / We thought there were two, but now there are three ♫

The Dairy Queen laughed to see such sport as the thieves ran away with their spoon

Hey, Ron: ♫ M-I-C See...we screwed you. K-E-Y Why? Because you're an idiot. M-O-U-S-E ♫

What about the left ones?

Asstronomers say all that bleaching you've been doing has worked

Epstein didn't fire himself

Coors launches its first-ever bourbon. Needless to say, you won't need to order it with water


Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)

Another fun time on the Quiz last week, although I'm still confused about vacation destinations that market themselves by showing how expensive they are on game shows. On the Quiz itself, Shotgun Justice takes the top spot with 1007 and a ticket to the 1000 club, where we're camping out in the alley in the back with a cheap charcoal grill and a case of Coors Light, a $6,691 value. Resident modmin Two Dogs Farking scored 976. followed by Denjiro in second with 965 and reachforthetop9 in third with 943. mrs. badcrumble made fourth with 933, and bughunter rounds out the top five with 900.

The hardest question on the Hard Quiz was one of those terms you knew from Mr. Collins' 11th grade English lit class but forgot as soon as the test was over. Only 37% of quiztakers caught the Merriam-Webster Word of the Day last Tuesday and knew that a "bildungsroman" is a novel about the moral and psychological growth of the main character. An object that serves no purpose other than to move the story forward is a "McGuffin" (like the briefcase in Pulp Fiction), and a naming convention in which a part stands for the whole is a "synecdoche" ("hands" to refer to crew members). 

The easiest question on the Hard Quiz was about which actor was warning Ukrainians of incoming attacks. 84% of quiztakers knew that Mark Hamill was happy to record lines for Ukraine's free Air Alert app that is connected to the country's air defense systems and will tell residents when to proceed to the nearest shelter.. Although his lines are in English, many Ukrainians prefer his voice to the lines recorded in Ukrainian, I'm guessing because the Ukrainian voice doesn't end the "All Clear" message with "May the Force be with you."

The hardest question on the Easy Quiz last week was about the new Netflix series based on the book by A.J, Quinnell. Only 50% knew that Quinnell wrote "Man on Fire" about former CIA agent John Creasy who works as a bodyguard. Believe it or not, "The Book of Eli" was an original screenplay by Gary Whitta and not a bad adaptation of a beloved sci-fi novel as it seemed at the time. I'm not sure I would ever try to adapt something already done by Tony Scott and Denzel Washington, but then again, I'm not Netflix, and they just did "Wednesday". 

The easiest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about songwriter Bernie Taupin and his upcoming exhibition at London's Iconic Images Gallery. 89% recognized the name of one half of one of the most prolific hit-making duos of all time, the other half being Elton John. Taupin writes the lyrics, then Sir Elton comes up with the melody to match. It works for them - 25 platinum albums, a quarter of a billion records - and the biggest selling single of all time in "Candle In the Wind '97", which Taupin re-wrote for the occasion, having also written the original.

If you missed out last week, it's a great time to catch up on the Fark Weird News Quiz now that you know a few of the answers. Congratulations once again to the winners, and we'll do it all again on Friday.

________________________

A message from Drew Curtis:  
________________________ 

Hey everyone hope your week's been well.  

Got a few things on deck this week. 

Thursday at noon ET to Friday at noon ET we'll be having a no ad blocker day to assess the impact of ad blockers on Fark.  BareFark and TotalFark subscribers will remain blissfully unaffected.  If you get the "hey you're using an ad blocker" popup, here's what you can do (choose one or more):

Whitelist Fark in your ad blocker
Sign up for BareFark, which is an ads-free Fark experience
Sign up for TotalFark, which is ads-free and gives access to all kinds of cool insider information on upcoming features, etc.

Additionally, If you have a financial hardship, contact us via Farkback and we'll give you complimentary BareFark.

Thursday at 4 p.m. Eastern it's the Fark News Livestream with me and the whole crew.  For whatever reason, this is the week for every authoritarian nation to claim they have new weapons.  We'll run down the list, plus a literal Viking dump, Santos of the Week, and more!

Friday at 7 p.m. Eastern, I'll be doing a livestream with the good folks at MetaFilter.   They're doing a video series on old web luminaries and apparently I qualify.  MetaFilter's doing this as a fundraiser for their site, but tickets are a suggested donation.  I recommend donating, they're pretty awesome.  As an added bonus, I will be drinking the entire time.  Tickets available here.

________________________

End Drew transmission
________________________ 


Top Comments

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
Martian_Astronomer agreed with ArkPanda about part of the struggle-o that comes with being an ex-Juggalo
edmo was impressed with the amount of research that went into an article about paying off credit card debt
Sliding Carp had hopes for being remembered after death
Barricaded Gunman explained why a woman's quest to retrieve her stolen headphones made the news
YouPeopleAreCrazy updated us on the current status of "Dear Abby"
DrMaturin wasn't sure a Guitar World article was describing a new cutting-edge NSG pedal
Nah'mean proved that a woman's severed toes did not miraculously grow back because of the power of prayer
NateAsbestos described one of the features of living in a home with a balcony that overlooks a soccer stadium
Sub Human had a question about the sale of the Fort Worth, Texas mansion of the former CEO of Radio Shack
toraque pointed out how good we have it at Fark.com

Smart:
Parallax had advice for someone who was considering cashing out their 401(k) to pay off their $30,000 credit card debt
emtwo learned a different lesson from a story of found money than doomsdayaddams did
Bootleg found the actual miracle in a story about a woman claiming her missing toes miraculously grew back
genner shared the unpleasant truth about adulthood with Gen Z and millennials
spongeboob's dad was fed up with those whiny Waltons
weddingsinger considered the threat level of a type of fungus among us
Znuh explained why the Toyota Camry is the top car with Generation Z
kabloink looked at how clueless younger people are about car maintenance
Ringshadow assessed the situation after a radioactive cylinder from a Thai power plant went missing and was later found
NeoCortex42 had helpful advice for spending your billions of dollars

CSB Sunday Morning theme: The most unusual way you've ended up with an animal companion
Smart: vudukungfu's cats keep adopting cats
Smart (honorable mention): educated took care of a broken kitty, and had help from Farkers
Funny: Halfabee64 was blamed for what a Marshmallow did on Easter morning

Politics Funny:
fragMasterFlash tried to figure out why barricades were being erected outside the Manhattan Criminal Courthouse
Candygram4Mongo thought of a way to keep Donald Trump from "walking" on criminal charges
thealgorerhythm considered Chris Rock's joke that it would be stupid to arrest Trump
Yakk had a question about opportunities for seniors to join the military
Pocket Ninja explained why you don't want a civil war against MAGA

Politics Smart:
cretinbob showed us what a MAGA civil war might look like
DoBeDoBeDo hoped Trump would be spending time at home in Florida
JustSurfin shared a story about an anti-abortion relative
hubiestubert argued that MAGA fighters would have to worry more about law enforcement than the military
skybird659 told the great story of the first Gay Night at Disneyland, back in 1978


Top Contest Entries

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week

Photoshops:
Yammering_Splat_Vector took a noodle bath
RedZoneTuba knew all these people's names
rnatalie put an operator in with these programmers
steklo made a test to separate the Farkers from the robots
Yammering_Splat_Vector chose the quickest way to give this living room a makeover
Stephen_Falken showed us the first time Fark crashed
RedZoneTuba wanted to get this measurement
Driver checked out two "kissing" planets with some familiar friends
samsquatch played tic-tac-toe
GoodDoctorB showed us that it's time to get things started

Farktography theme: I'm Beginning to See a Pattern Here 3
kittyhas1000legs had room for many bikes


Fark Headlines of the Week

A selection of some of the top headlines from last week

If you were wondering who started the zombie apocalypse, it was the archaeologist who looked at these "magical barrier" nails and said "this belongs in a MUSEUM"

Sniper rifle falls off roof to St. Patrick's parade crowd below. In its defense, it was loaded

Ex-Juggalos explain their struggle-o. Sounds like someone needs a hug-a-lo

Texas university cancels drag show, claiming it's similar to blackface. Which would make one wonder why Texans would see any problem with it

Mouse trolls Meatball

Entire Mavericks team forgets which basket it's defending, team owner goes into Cuban whistle crisis mode

Second-worst Misfits singer gives third-worst defense of most dumbest group

JP Morgan announces that they've adopted First Republic into their Big Bank/Small Bank after school program

Block shares going down like Hindenburg. Oh, the huge money tree


Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)

Another fun time on last week's Quiz, where we learned how to order a cheesesteak like a local when visiting Philadelphia. On the Quiz itself, we have four people who made it into the 1000 club, but unfortunately the deli was out of provolone, so I hope no one minds Swiss. zerkalo came out on top with an impressive 1046, followed by ac982000 in second with 1028 and bud jones in third with 1013. raukos7 made fourth with 1010, and freakingmoron made it into the top five with 985. 

The hardest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about what Americans eat the most of. Only 28% of quiztakers caught the article about our diets and knew that like most Western countries, we run on Dunkin'. Well, the main ingredient in donuts anyway - wheat flour. We eat on average 1.8 lbs of wheat flour every week - just under 100 lbs. every year, in everything from burger buns to pizza crust to chicken breading to cookies and of course, cheesesteak rolls. In comparison, we eat "only" 57.7 lbs of potatoes and roughly the same amount of sugar (our sugar intake has actually gone down in recent years as sugar substitutes have become more popular). 

The easiest question on the Hard Quiz was about Relativity Space and what was unique about their rocket launched last week that didn't quite make orbit. 85% of quiztakers knew that they had made a big deal about the ship being about 85% by mass 3D-printed parts. Hopefully they saved enough on labor to justify the cost of all those toner cartridges, because otherwise I don't think this business model is viable.

The hardest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about the world's most popular musician. Only 53% of quiztakers knew that Canadian artist Abel Tesfaye goes by "The Weeknd", aka that guy that got lost during his halftime performance at Superb Owl LV back in 2021. The man with a firm limit of 3 for the number of e's he will have in a stage name now has 100,000,000 listeners each month on Spotify and I guess I'm old because I don't think I'd recognize his music if I were to hear it. 

The easiest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about which actress was in the middle of defending herself in a lawsuit by a retired optometrist who claims she ran into him on a ski slope back in 2016. 95% of quiztakers either caught the article or at least the outtakes from the trial and knew it was Gwyneth Paltrow. If you haven't seen the clip of her cross-examination, it's definitely... something. The plaintiff's attorney begins by complimenting her height, followed by Ms. Paltrow complimenting the attorney's 4-inch heels. That is not one I had on my Bingo card.

If you missed out last week, now's a great time to catch up on the Fark Weird News Quiz now that you know a few of the answers. Congratulations once again to the winners, and we'll do it all again on Friday.

________________________

A message from Drew Curtis:  
________________________ 

Hey everyone, hope your week's been well. 

Several years ago we tested whether or not ad blockers were severely impacting ad revenue on Fark.  The results back then indicated ad blockers had minimal impact on revenue.  Next week on Thursday we're going to do another one-day test to see if this is still the case.  I couldn't figure out how to best explain why we're doing this, so I asked ChatGPT to write a paragraph for me.   Here's what it wrote:

"Fark.com, a popular news aggregation website, recently announced that they will be conducting a test to block ad blockers for a day to evaluate the impact on their revenue. Ad blockers have been a significant concern for online publishers, as they significantly affect their advertising revenue. Fark.com's decision to test the effect of ad blockers on their revenue is a bold move that demonstrates their commitment to finding innovative solutions to maintain profitability in the face of ad blocking technology. This test could potentially provide insights into how publishers can better manage ad blockers, leading to new approaches for online advertising. It will be interesting to see how the test goes and what conclusions Fark.com draws from the results."

Wow that is some buzzwordy B.S. right there.  Mostly accurate though.  

Anyhow, the test is only for a day, please whitelist us but an even -better- idea would be to sign up for ads-free BareFark or ads-free TotalFark.  I'll let you know how it went next week.  Also: If you are in a spot where buying an ads-free sub is a financial hardship, please contact Farkback and we'll give you one for free.  We don't want to lose anyone that way.  

Thursday 4 p.m. Eastern it's the Fark News Livestream with me, Dill, Lucky, and maybe a cameo by Christine who is traveling for work stuff.  We've got lung meat, Adrian Chiles, the true history of Bambi, and doughnuts.  And probably more stuff, still compiling over here.  That is unless the news cycle gets shot to hell by a certain grand jury indictment, in which case we may bail until next week while all that shakes out.  

________________________

End Drew transmission
________________________ 


Top Comments

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
kbronsito described how visitor numbers from Fark might actually be higher than they seem
Sorelian's Ghost explained why it's been a while since some people have heard the name Fark
Munden told us about a friend who got a free cheeseburger
The Exit Stencilist talked about Amanda Knox's experience studying abroad
poorjon gathered important information for the upcoming robot uprising
Ambitwistor shared a behind-the-scenes photo from Fark Headquarters (background)
Pocket Ninja gave us helpful financial advice
puffy999 never meant to imply that Kmart was having a Red Light Special
OdradekRex knew why the "southernmost point" of the U.S. was heading north on I-95
Mr. Lepage had a question about Barbara Feldon

Smart:
RobotSpider talked about an awesome news aggregator
Bootleg had a reminder for people who complain about music these days
Glockenspiel Hero explained why calling customer service can be so infuriating
kpaxoid brought up one of the reasons behind customer support problems
Pocket Ninja wanted a service to help with customer service
capt.snicklefritz reminded us to keep things in perspective
PirateKing let us know that sometimes the call center isn't the problem
Doc Daneeka discussed the evolution of the internet
mrmopar5287 recalled how the tabloids presented stories about Amanda Knox
MrBallou found one particular change to be worth complaining about

CSB Sunday Morning theme: Courtroom stories
Smart: Giant Clown Shoe demonstrated the value of watching TV
Funny: sdd2000 witnessed a surefire way to be dismissed from a jury pool

Politics Funny:
oldernell figured out how Russia managed to beat the U.S. to finding a U.S. surveillance drone at the bottom of the Black Sea
Pocket Ninja knew exactly how Donald Trump should handle a possible criminal indictment against him
Mr. Coffee Nerves imagined how Trump's arrest might play out
RedZoneTuba showed us a topless Trump
OldRod talked about missing Mitch McConnell when he's gone

Politics Smart:
alienated needed to wake up, already
Derek Force wondered about a topic that keeps coming up lately
Rapmaster2000 discussed a reason some people prefer to believe the lab leak theory for the origins of COVID-19
Private_Citizen explained that there are different types of fraternities and sororities
AirForceVet talked about moving to a place with overtly bigoted people


Top Contest Entries

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week

Photoshops:
GoodDoctorB showed off some sleight of hand
samsquatch completed this fortune teller's costume
Yammering_Splat_Vector gave this horse a chance to escape
asstamassta discovered it wasn't safe to get back in the water
kabloink found that working in the sun can age you
GoodDoctorB took a shortcut to the bottom of this cave
RedZoneTuba zithered Zeppelin
Octafrye introduced us to the Michaels Jackson
whatsupchuck made winter fall away
samsquatch pulled out all the stops for some church music

Farktography theme: Spring Forward
bobug snapped this squatting butterfly


Fark Headlines of the Week

A selection of some of the top headlines from last week

Baboons roll boulder onto hikers before breaking into "Also sprach Zarathustra"

What's black and white and red all over?

King knights some remains of Queen

SPCA says buying kittens from strangers in a parking lot might be shady. Unlike all other things you buy from a stranger in a parking lot which are totally legit

Severed bear foot gives police paws

Goop founder attacked for bad wellness tips, killing Tasha Yar

Scientists are growing antlers on mice for reasons and obviously not due to a complete lack of adult supervision

March Madness has its first major upset. That's one small step Furman, one giant leap Furmankind

Fairleigh Dickinson upgraded to Very Impressive Dickinson

No time for love, Dr Jones. I'm busy accepting an Oscar

Raise a glass for Leon Hughes, but don't put it back on the table


Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)

Another fun time on the Quiz this weekend, where we learned that some places call it "Daylight Saving Time", some call it "Daylight Savings Time", some call it "Daylight Time", some call it "Summer Time", and the people back in the 1910s called it "Daylight-saving Time" or "War Time". I call it a pain in the butt that makes me cranky for several days. On the Quiz itself, we have four people in the 1000 club: richh99 came out on top with 1029, followed by Schrodinger's toilet trained cat in second with 1026, Myk-House of El in third with 1012, and Oliver Twisted in fourth with 1004. wildcardjack's  992 is good enough for the top 5 but I'm afraid you'll have to peep in through the window at the 1000 club and our showing of Cocaine Bear. 

The hardest question on the Hard Quiz was about Super Mario and where his name came from. Only 30% of quiztakers knew that Nintendo of America president Minoru Arakawa was looking for inspiration and a personality for the Jumpman character for Donkey Kong, and in walked his landlord, Mario Segale, demanding the back rent. Although he really bore no resemblance to the character, I understand that his accent was virtually identical to Chris Pratt's. Before he passed away in 2018, he lamented his lack of royalties, but did say Nintendo made good on the rent.

The easiest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about which state you can move to if you really hate changing your clock twice a year. 90% of quiztakers knew that most of Arizona does not bother with changing their clocks as the entire state is in constant sunshine 24/7 and the only place in the world where people go to saunas to cool off. Arizona: the state so hot that Jehovah's Witnesses have switched to unsolicited Zoom calls at 7:30 AM on Saturday mornings.

The hardest question on the Easy Quiz was about Pi Day and how it's celebrated in countries that use common sense when writing out the date. In the US and Canada, we write the month first, so March 14, or 3.14, the decimal approximation for pi, is the logical day to celebrate the number. However, in most of the rest of the world, they write the date first, followed by the month, so 14.3 wouldn't make sense as Pi Day. However, the fractional approximation of pi, 22/7, works perfectly - so they celebrate Pi Day on July 22. Only 53% of quiztakers either caught the article or thought to consider the date and its relevance to pi. 

The easiest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about which celebrity got a huge payout with the sale of Mint Mobile to T-Mobile for $1.35 billion. 87% of quiztakers knew that Ryan Reynolds bought about 25% of Mint back in November of 2019, and since then revenues have grown 5000%, not least because of his self-deprecating humor in the commercials he writes and stars in.  Considering he makes about $20 million per movie, this means he's made more per 30-second commercial than he has for entire movies with months-long shooting schedules. Let's hope this doesn't dissuade him from continuing to make more Deadpool movies. 

If you missed out last week, it's a great time to catch up on the Fark Weird News Quiz now that you know a few of the answers. Congratulations to the winners, and we'll do it all again on Friday.

________________________

A message from Drew Curtis:  
________________________ 

Hey everyone, hope your week's been well.

Last week was quite eventful.  Originally I'd planned to head down to Savannah for a biking trip with some friends of mine from up north.  They live in a much colder region and were dying to ride outside somewhere warmer.  Savannah seemed to fit the bill.  

The Friday before the trip, Kentucky got hit by a land hurricane.  That's not an official term but we had 75 mph winds for three straight hours, which is pretty much like being in a category 1 hurricane.  We don't get winds like that, the previous record high for a single wind gust was 65 mph.  Central Kentucky in particular got hammered - half of Lexington lost power.  It seemed like every other road was closed due to debris.  

And the power went out.  In previous windstorms it took several days to restore power.  I couldn't leave my family during all that.  However our general plan for power outages is to just get the hell out of there.  So we decided to have an early Spring Break trip.  

While I enjoyed the trip to Savannah, the cycling environment is pretty bad.  Main problem being there don't appear to be any side roads within 50 miles of the place.  That's no exaggeration, we actually went out that far on rides.  Add to that a ton of truck traffic heading in and out of the port, and it makes for some super iffy riding.  We asked a local bike shop where we might find some decent riding conditions and they said literally nowhere.  Anyhow the actual city was great, I had no idea how well Savannah was doing these days.  One gauge of how well a city is doing is how many cranes there are, and there are cranes everywhere.    

Thursday at 4 p.m. it's the Fark News Livestream with pretty much the whole crew I think.  We're discussing Chuck Tingle and Nickelback, plus an update on Florida's seaweed blob attack.  I'm still looking for our Santos of the Week feature article, so if anyone's got one handy, if you could post it in the comments I'd be much obliged.

________________________

End Drew transmission
________________________ 


Top Comments

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
Ivo Shandor thought a passenger on a Southwest Airlines flight was being panicky over nothing
bighairyguy revealed topics of episodes of Jeremy Renner's upcoming show, "Rennervations"
Flab was insulted and appalled by tsjonesosu's suggestion for a solution to the clusterfark that streaming TV has become
AstroJesus told us how to stay safe while ingesting the TikTok-trending "borg" drink
Farking Clown Shoes reacted to potentially offensive content in R.L. Stine's books being edited without the author's involvement
BigMax helpfully suggested possible names for a topless cannabis dispensary
derpes_simplex figured out why a group of thieves stole six Dodge Challenger Hellcats from a Kentucky dealership
DRTFA decided to start quoting Elon Musk
foo monkey had a better idea than renting a billboard to claim to be "Wisconsin's #1 Eligible Bachelor"
Nick Nostril recognized a MiG-15 that had its cockpit roof fly off during an air show

Smart:
hardinparamedic discussed why a Mexican drug cartel apologized and turned over their members who killed two Americans
Martian_Astronomer had an idea in case a streaming service does something weird to something you like
vilesithknight talked about borrowing a bunch of cool stuff
mongbiohazard revealed what it takes to love a homeowner association
Wenchmaster discussed a WWII submarine that was lost at sea in 1944 being found last month
Circusdog320 took a photo of Jupiter and Venus hanging out together

CSB Sunday Morning theme: Beating the odds
Smart: hubiestubert's heart kept trying to explode
Funny: Unobtanium's brother obtainiumed some pig parts

Politics Funny:
Devolving_Spud came up with a song for Ron DeSantis' next campaign commercial
Needlessly Complicated remarked on someone giving paper snowflakes that say "fascist" to Ron DeSantis and Kim Reynolds
OldRod imagined DeSantis as a fighter pilot
North_Central_Positronics had a question for a man who went to a school board meeting dressed as Julius Caesar
WickerNipple had a colorful way of describing a white nationalist group's logo

Politics Smart:
GardenWeasel had an idea of the people Rep. Alex Mooney was saying are getting paid $100,000 a year to not work
BizarreMan wanted the cause of inflation to be looked into
hugram examined Donald Trump's claims about the origins of COVID-19
NewportBarGuy analyzed Tucker Carlson and his motives
yohohogreengiant discussed Mexican drug cartel violence


Top Contest Entries

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week

Photoshops:
Octafrye knew who brought the firefighters to the museum
Yammering_Splat_Vector created an unholy masterpiece of meat
rnatalie found a bug riding the bus
kabloink managed to actually make this mystery meat look edible
sl4psh0t would've preferred cockroaches served in a cannister
Yammering_Splat_Vector's magic bus broke down
kabloink figured Fluffy would eat it
Snubnose didn't let anyone go to waste
kabloink gave this royal stag a royal sidekick
Stephen_Falken modified a pagoda

Farktography theme: Closeups
This one was a tie between Herb Utsmelz's antique pocket watch and gregscott's satanic hummingbird


Fark Headlines of the Week

A selection of some of the top headlines from last week

California sheriff to residents: Please stop calling 911 on Jupiter and Venus. We can't even shoot that high

Two planes bump wings at Logan Airport. Before the pandemic they would have just shaken hands

Instead of office chair, dog bed contained bobcat. Would not order again

Russian state TV host claims Great Britain is forced to eat squirrels because of high Ukraine military aid costs. That is of course ridiculous. They eat squirrels because of Brexit

Podcasters In Coffee Shops Getting Cars

Better to wear it this week than next

I'm from the government and I'm here to help figure out who vandalized the sign

Subby has heard of "someone living rent-free in somebody's head", but he thought it's just a figure of speech

Hong Kong's Cathay posts $834 million loss. Ack

Apparently the UK has a National Food Crime Unit, which must be the busiest organization on the planet


Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)

Another fun time on this week's Quiz, where we learned rain frogs don't have a tadpole stage, they just hatch into little froglets - yet are still considered "amphibians". On the Quiz itself, this week's winner with a perfect score of 1100 is unsurprisingly "Everything Everywhere All at Once," which will be joined in the 1000 club afterparty by Blackstone, who scored 1036, coscausticevil with a score of 1025, and Captain Orr who made 1015. Denjiro also gets a mention with 987, as does Joelogon with a score of 933. 

The hardest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about which organization was working towards getting in on that sweet sports betting money. Only 43% of quiztakers knew that it was the WWE who thinks people will bet on actual fixed fights, with accounting firm Ernst & Young certifying the secrecy of the script and the wrestlers not knowing the outcome until just before the match. I mean, you can bet on the Academy Awards in NJ, IN, MI, and. beginning this year. LA, so apparently there are people who will gamble on stuff that's already decided. Regarding Major League Eating, NJ, CO, and NH all allow betting on the Nathan's Famous Hot Dog Eating Contest as of last year. 

The easiest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about which candy is no longer "Swiss enough" to bear the image of The Matterhorn, as they were moving some production to Bratislava (insert Eurotrip joke here). 90% of quiztakers knew Tobelerone was now considered about as Swiss as the cheese Americans put on their mushroom and Swiss burgers. They've announced they'll be replacing the image with a "generic mountain", but I think they're missing an excellent marketing opportunity - put different famous mountains from around the world on various wrappers, like a collectible series, and then snub The Matterhorn. 

The hardest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about the best-selling 12" single of all time. Only 51% of quiztakers knew that 1983's "Blue Monday" was a hit by 80's synth-pop band New Order, the band formed by former members of Joy Division following the death of lead singer Ian Curtis. The advantages of the wide dynamic range of 12" singles made them popular among DJs, and this was definitely a song you'd hear at any respectable dance club in any big city around the world. As consumers were in the process of switching to cassettes, there was never again the perfect market conditions for this format to be the success that this one was. One more bit of trivia - production costs were so high for the die-cut "floppy disk" sleeve of "Blue Monday" that the record company actually lost money on the initial issue. 

The easiest question on last week's  Easy Quiz was about which song lyrics Disney had finally got around to cutting from the Disneyland Magic Happens Parade. 88% of quiztakers knew that Disney finally decided that it was time for "Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah" to go. They've understandably kept "Song of the South" itself buried in a vault somewhere next to Walt's frozen head and swear it will never see the light of day (unlike Walt's frozen head) but they've kept this song from the movie around because its lyrics and subject matter aren't really objectionable - it's just what it was written for. And it's still on Disney's official channel on Apple Music if you do want to hear it. 

If you missed out last week, it's a great time to catch up on the Fark Weird News Quiz now that you know a few of the answers. Congratulations once again to the winners, and we'll do it all again on Friday.

I don't know about you, but I have a backlog of services that I need to change over to different providers. I mean, I need to change financial institutions, internet providers, health and car insurance companies, wireless carriers, pharmacies, and basically everything else to less evil companies. The problem is, it takes a buttload of time to research how evil the alternatives are, how much they cost, how reliable they are, and all the other things that factor into deciding where to keep spending money. 

So what we need is a service where they'll do all this research for you, and then they'll switch things over for you and then update what needs updating (like changing the billing info on all your accounts to the new financial institution). In fact, this business can offer a subscription service that will keep an eye on everything for when one of the places that's taking your money inevitably does something evil, then they'll start the process all over again. The only problem is that eventually this theoretical company will probably do something evil, and then you'll need them to switch you over to an alternative to themselves.

There's no special message from Drew Curtis this week, and no Fark News Livestream either. Drew must be off doing Drew stuff. Maybe he's busy drawing things, because you have to Draw before you can Drew. 

XOXO,

DisseminationMonkey


Fark Fiction Anthology Accepting Submissions (A special message from toraque) 

The 2023 Fark Fiction Anthology is now accepting submissions! Once again, we've assembled a crack team of editors and readers to bring the world the best short fiction that Fark has to offer. For the eighth year in a row, we'll be assembling and publishing the best of the best as Amazon trade paperback and Kindle e-book editions, and all proceeds will go to St. Jude Children's Research Hospital, so even if you don't want to bask in the glory of publishing your genius to the world, you can still support a good cause!

We're looking for original, unpublished short fiction of less than 10,000 words in length in the following genres:

Fantasy!
Science Fiction!
Humor!
Horror!
Suspense/mystery/thriller!
(and Anything Else, Really! Because if it's good, we'll make it work!)

This year we'd love to help support underrepresented voices and look forward to hearing from all writers, so get your brilliance to us by sending it in at our submissions page!

If you'd like to check out previous years' Fark Fiction Anthologies, here they are:

Heart of Farkness: The 2016 Fark Fiction Anthology
Through a Scanner Farkly: The 2017 Fark Fiction Anthology
Everybody Panic: The 2018 Fark Fiction Anthology
Oh, No, Not Again!: The 2019 Fark Fiction Anthology
Fark in the Time of Covid: The 2020 Fark Fiction Anthology
Need Help Soonish: The 2021 Fark Fiction Anthology
Doomscrolling: The 2022 Fark Fiction Anthology


Top Comments

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
puffy999 reacted to news that Alex Murdaugh was found guilty of murder
Badmoodman told us how Andrew Tate was able to tweet about the ghost in his prison cell
Juc was confused by NewportBarGuy's comment about which way toilet paper should hang
ThomasPaineTrain justified spending an exorbitant amount of money
Sin'sHero had a use for Irving Maimway's description of Elon Musk's management style
aerojockey defended someone who chose to major in English
Stile4aly showed us the evidence against Alex Murdaugh
Warthog knew what happens when you sell Girl Scout cookies outside of gay bars
Super Chronic pointed out the stupidity of a Hungry Jack's employee's question
EvilEgg wanted a specific type of floorplan

Smart:
Cheron shared a story about pitching in and working extra hard and long hours to help an employer meet a deadline
BizarreMan shared a story about not sharing with the sheriff
raerae1980 showed us an awesome gift from Jamie Lee Curtis
Benevolent Misanthrope gave a partial explanation of why the the murder trial of Alex Murdaugh got so much attention
H31N0US reminded us how much fun landlines are
iheartscotch played traffic hero
Bob_Laublaw posted a law blog about a venue taking 47% of a band's merchandise revenue
Felgraf discussed the importance of studying the humanities as well as STEM

CSB Sunday Morning theme: Finding something when or where you least expected it
Smart: little big man's little big dad found a murder weapon in the wall
Funny: west.la.lawyer spotted the elusive pink car

Politics Funny:
weddingsinger found Scott Adams to be credible
X-Geek improved a "Cyanide and Happiness" take on a "Dilbert" comic
You'd turn it off when I was halfway across revealed how Donald Trump Jr. prepares for his extemporaneous speeches
Petit_Merdeux described how Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez kills jobs
Karma Chameleon noticed the real problem with the Bidens' night out

Politics Smart:
keiverarrow looked at the argument that companies have free speech rights to label sugary cereals as "healthy"
BlousyBrown shared an example of Marjorie Taylor Greene being the respectful type of person she claims is gone now, and WrongTrousers posted the follow-up
Private_Citizen discussed the legacy of the Branch Davidian cult
koder had a suggestion for an appointee to Ron DeSantis' Disney oversight board who thinks tap water is turning people gay


Top Contest Entries

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week

Photoshops:
markie_farkie carefully searched for pricing errors
opalakea took a trip to Hooterville
GoodDoctorB sent this predator packing
Yammering_Splat_Vector had a heavenly peacock
Snubnose showed off some sexy new dancewear
Yammering_Splat_Vector had the operator on the line
Yammering_Splat_Vector found that these two lovebirds finally made it official
Driver gave us the Dik-dik Butt we never knew we needed
jaylight2003 put a pretty hair accessory on Sally
RedZoneTuba monarched a monarch

Farktography theme: Power 2
This Farktography contest ended in a self-tie with orionid's smokin' hot tendrils and orionid's Three Mile Island snap


Fark Headlines of the Week

A selection of some of the top headlines from last week

Six tourists injured when rhinos charge their car in India. Next time they'll use electricity

160 years after the Battle of Chancellorsville, the U.S. Navy finally defeats the Confederates

The cops have eyes everywhere

AIPA

Transportation minister resigns after failing to handle Greece fire. Know your extinguishers

South Carolina lawyer found guilty of Murdaugh

Pointy-haired boss expresses his support for Dilbert

Colin Kaepernick is publishing a book of Black authors in response to attacks on African-American studies. For NFL fans outraged by Kaepernick, a book is a means of transmitting information via words printed on paper rectangles and bound together

Robert F Kennedy considers run for president, campaigns against receiving unwanted shots

Low calorie sweetener erythritol, an ingredient in some low carb foods, linked to significantly higher risk of heart attacks and blood clots. This study brought to you by the makers of Sweet'N Low

Florida man finds a bivalve as old as Abraham Lincoln. Rather than making chowder, he decides NOT to keep clam, and carries on

Great Pyramid of Giza was built by people who were completely and literally blind

Dogs of Chernobyl have different genes, few tentacles

Elon, stuck on a problem that can't be solved by throwing unlimited amounts of money at it, resorts to manual labor. And it works

What's worse than owning a Chevette? Owning 27 of them

White Dungeness crab named Sour Cream steals our hearts, rotting leftovers


Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)

Another fun time on the Quiz last week, where we learned that sometimes ebay sellers will try to make it right when you don't get exactly what you paid for. On the Quiz itself, Captain Orr came in first with 1010 and is joined in the 1000 club by spudbeach, who scored 1006. Unfortunately we ordered refreshments from an ebay seller in Norway and they're being held up in customs. Denjiro came in third with 993, Xanadone made fourth with 929, and runwiz and ThePuceGuardian tied for fifth with 924.

The hardest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about where you can pick up some Krispy Kreme donuts in Kentucky. Only 26% of quiztakers knew that 160 McDonald's locations in the state were reselling the donuts to dunk in their coffee. Which does lead me to wonder that this bodes for the future, especially with fast food items that have long shelf lives like donuts. Panera Bread bread bowls filled with Wendy's chili? Domino's breadsticks covered in Chipotle's shredded chicken and pico de gallo? The future is a confusing and frightening place.

The easiest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about Mexico's President Manuel López Obrador and the picture he posted last weekend that he said was an "Alexe." 70% of quiztakers knew that an Alexe was a mischievous woodland spirit from the culture of the Mayans. Some might view it as concerning when their president is posting pictures of mythical creatures, but personally, I find it refreshingly traditionalist that he's posting locally sourced mythology and not blurry pictures of aliens like other world leaders seem to have moved on to.

The hardest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about the UK's final stamp bearing the silhouette of Queen Elizabeth II, which will honor The Flying Scotsman. Only 47% of quiztakers knew that The Flying Scotsman is the LNER Class A3 4472 steam locomotive named for the express route between Edinburgh and London. The locomotive set two notable records, being the first steam locomotive to reach 100 mph in 1934, and making the longest non-stop run by a steam locomotive when it did 422 miles on a route in Australia back in 1989. And you can see it occasionally pop up in movies and new episodes of "Thomas and Friends" voiced by British actor Rufus Jones.

The easiest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about which band has finally announced the end to their "End of the Road" tour that's been going on since 2019. 83% of quiztakers knew that KISS would be finally calling it quits as a band in their home of New York City later this year. Ozzy should probably take note - instead of just coming up with new tours after announcing your retirement, you can just never end your retirement tour. 

If you missed out last week, now's a great time to catch up on the Fark Weird News Quiz now that you know a few of the answers. Congratulations once again to the winners, and we'll be doing it all again this week.

________________________

A message from Drew Curtis:  
________________________ 

Hey everyone, hope your week's been well.

I realize weather's been weird for pretty much everyone lately, but here in central Kentucky it's unusually warm.  If we can pair this with an unusually cool summer I'm all for it, but I don't think that's how it works.  I read yesterday that our spring is currently three weeks ahead of schedule, which is problematic because March snowstorms are pretty common.  We've got flowers and buds already, we don't usually see those until mid April.  Anyhow, the weather's great, so I've moved the Fark Home Office to my front porch in the meantime.  

At 4 p.m. Thursday, it's the Fark News Livestream with whoever shows up!  We should have the usual crew, but folks have weird things scheduled, including Christine who has a doctor appointment for what she swears is not removing another nail from her lungs.   Anyhow, it doesn't happen often but today, I saw an article that is truly a disaster on wheels - sugary cereal makers are lobbying the FDA to allow them to label their cereals as "healthy."  Currently they are not allowed to do this.  They claim this violates their corporate free speech.  Facepalm goes here.  Anyhow, we'll have much more to talk about, although fewer shark stories this week.  

________________________

End Drew transmission
________________________ 


Top Comments

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
Subtonic let us know all the reasons today's teens don't care about driving
Pocket Ninja figured out time travel
Wine Sipping Elitist expressed having impossibly high standards
Pocket Ninja described what HBO's "The Last Of Us" is about
beezeltown considered why a certain question would be on an electrical engineering exam
farkitallletitend figured out why nobody wants to drive anymore
NeoCortex42 shared a bit of trivia about the origins of Wikipedia
sxacho had a theory on why drivers were ignoring chevrons indicating an upcoming change in a tunnel
beezeltown shared a helpful cleaning supplies hack (don't do this)
The Dog Ate My Homework told us how to make sure your edibles aren't tainted with fentanyl

Smart:
Noah_Tall showed us the warnings people get before crashing their cars coming out of a Seattle tunnel
Pocket Ninja discovered the secret to getting a school club shut down
rnatalie thought about which company could've been the big online retailer of today
NewportBarGuy had praise for Ernie Hudson
HugeMistake looked at some of the problems Marvel movies are facing
Crazy Talk Al had advice for those who question some of the science in "The Last Of Us"
Wadded Beef had a theory on why Amazon is suddenly requiring employees to be back in the office at least three days a week
Benevolent Misanthrope shared this one weird trick for having a perfectly-shoveled path

CSB Sunday Morning theme: Hand-me-downs
Smart: Skerry_Monkey got a hand-me-down car from an unlikely source
Smart Honorable Mention (since many Farkers did the opposite of the headline instructions): catmandu recreated a sweet memory
Funny: AgentKGB's mom had an ulterior motive
Funny Honorable Mention (since many Farkers did the opposite of the headline instructions): hubiestubert beat everyone to the altar and Grandma's recipes

Politics Funny:
scottydoesntknow cited more of Scott Adams' findings on how mean Black people are to white people
RedPhoenix122 wanted to see Adams take over for another cartoonist
nicholas m schumacher posted improved Dilbert comic strips
Notabunny added to complaints on Fox News about stars such as Julia Roberts not being at the scene of the Ohio train derailment
WordsnCollision commented on  Vladimir Putin crossing "the START line" (suspending the New START nuclear arms reduction treaty)

Politics Smart:
spongeboob had a theory about Marjorie Taylor Greene
Private_Citizen looked at the reasons behind President Joe Biden's visit to Ukraine
Lsherm analyzed what went wrong with Dilbert
Benevolent Misanthrope had an idea after an Alaskan lawmaker said something confusing about kids dying of abuse being a benefit to society because at least they don't cost any more money. At least they listened to the letters
refudiate refuted a name Joe Biden's critics call him


Top Contest Entries

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week

Photoshops:
verchad mocked us and insulted our parents
RedZoneTuba showed us a shark relationship problem
verchad made a bug into a feature in a program
samsquatch stopped to pick up Clarabelle
whatsupchuck discovered Beaker blowing his stack
Yammering_Splat_Vector made a fairy armadiillillillo
RedZoneTuba got a network to sponsor this amusement park
Yammering_Splat_Vector hinted that these girls were thieves
hammettman made a streetlight into streetlights
samsquatch's tower was subtly happy to see us

Farktography theme: Get to the Point
common sense is an oxymoron won with a photo of a halfling hawk's hazardous hook


Fark Headlines of the Week

A selection of some of the top headlines from last week

The pain in Spain is caused mainly by girthy trains

Should have buried him a foot deeper

In the wake of President Jimmy Carter being admitted to hospice care, Americans have questions. Such as, what is hospice care? Is there pizza there? Can I bring my guns? Do they have parking big enough for my SUV?

Russia sets sights on Baltics, Mediterranean. No word on Boardwalk, Park Place

U-2 takes great Pride in taking a Bad ass picture from an Elevation above the Chinese spy balloon. Hopefully it doesn't induce Vertigo, because this picture is being released With Or Without You

Jar Jar is doing wonderful things in the Senate

This just in from the Beating-a-Dead-Horse Dept: High doses of ivermectin don't help with COVID

Titanic loses out to Way of Water. This is not a repeat from 1912

World's oldest Hebrew Bible could sell at auction for $50 million, become most expensive historical document ever sold. I've heard of propheteering but this is ridiculous

NYC Mayor: You can't stay home in your pajamas all day. Employees: Pajamas? This isn't dress up day


Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)

Another fun time on the Quiz last week, where we concluded that while there is still a market for Googie architecture, there simply aren't any architects willing to build it. On the Quiz itself, no less than five quiztakers made it into the 1000 club with perfect 11 out of 11s. Joelogon came out on top with 1036, followed by Data in second with 1022 and Denjiro in third with 1006, Theaetetus made fourth with 1003, and spudbeach squeezes it into the 1000 club with an even 1000. 

The hardest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about the new "Oasis" restaurant locations popping up around the US. Only 23% of quiztakers knew that this was a concept store from Subway where you could charge your EV while enjoying your sandwich outdoors at a picnic table while your kids play in the grass. Taco Bell is adding charging stations to at least 100 California stores this year but isn't adding outdoor spaces, while a McDonald's franchisee actually opened a store in North Carolina back in 2009 with a charging station, but the company hasn't done a lot since then here in the US. 

The easiest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about a newly discovered unpublished photo from 1963 found in a Bachmann Turner Overdrive CD purchased from a thrift store. 87% of quiztakers were able to put "November 22" and "Texas" together and come up with John F. Kennedy. The photo is of the President and First Lady in their motorcade in Dallas sometime between 11:55 AM and 12:30 PM on November 22. [reminder to self: do not make pun about "You Ain't Seen Nothin' Yet"", "Roll On Down the Highway", or especially "Shotgun Rider"]

The hardest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about where to pick up Shrimp Nibblers, specifically the new limited-time-only Sriracha Shrimp Nibblers. Only 32% of quiztakers knew that this was a menu item at the nation's oldest fast food chain, White Castle.  Jack in the Box did once serve "Crispy Golden Shrimp" as a meat option in their 80s-era "Dinner in the Box" or on a salad, but that's pretty much it. Bubba Blue would not be impressed. And apparently no one else was either, as it was quietly discontinued when Dinner in the Box went away.

The easiest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about which former president once saved Canada from a major nuclear disaster. 95% of quiztakers knew that Jimmy Carter led a team to save the Chalk River Nuclear Research Facility after a series of human errors led to a meltdown. Hey, we can't all be badass fighter pilots like George H W Bush, who received three Air Medals, a Presidential Unit Citation, and the Distinguished Flying Cross in a career that involved 58 combat missions. 

If you missed out last week, now's a great time to catch up on the Fark Weird News Quiz now that you know a few of the answers. Congratulations once again to the winners, and we'll do it all again on Friday.

________________________

A message from Drew Curtis:  
________________________ 

Hey everyone, hope your week's been well.  

Noticed yesterday that we're about two months past winter solstice, which is great progress but not enough for me.  I spend a ton of time outdoors so I'm just waiting for longer days and warmer weather.  Hasn't been a bad winter here in Kentucky but I'm a little worried a mild winter means a gross summer.  We'll see.  Meanwhile, I'm enjoying the extra daylight.  Temps hiat record highs here today but I couldn't move to my porch office because the winds were up over 40mph.  So it goes.  

A few folks wrote in saying that all of Fark's links and comments jumped 1900 years into the future sometime on Monday afternoon.  Just wanted to let everyone know that you didn't see anything and no it didn't.  I deny all wrongdoing.  Moving on.

At 4 p.m. Thursday it's the Fark News Livestream with the whole gang.  Finally there are no balloons in the news, however lots of Ukraine stuff plus for some reason a whole-ass gator onslaught.  Still not sure how to cover that last one, none of the stories are by themselves particularly funny but it's super weird to see more than five gator stories in the news cycle in the past 48 hours.  Not sure what it means.  Anyone have any guesses?

________________________

End Drew transmission
________________________ 


Top Comments

Some of the top-voted smartest and funniest comments from the past week

Funny:
Noticeably F.A.T. liked having options, as bingethinker pointed out
some_beer_drinker corrected Jake Havechek's observation about a punk-ass dolphin
OdradekRex extrapolated what dolphins' behavior would be in other situations based on their actions in a paddleboarding video
Angry Drunk Bureaucrat thought NuclearPenguins' travel plans needed some work
Kalyco Jack shared what happens when a business blasts opera music in an attempt to keep unhoused people from loitering
Devolving_Spud shared more information about when a garbage truck has to dump its entire load because its contents are on fire
raerae1980 regretted the decision to read a certain article
GardenWeasel had a message from an airline after a bumpy flight
Elliot8654 reminded us about the true purpose of the Super Bowl
MythDragon explained why it's wrong to make jokes about someone's death resulting from a catalytic converter theft gone wrong

Smart:
Martian_Astronomer pointed out that Twitter made a wise move
Psychopusher speculated on the outcome of suing a law school for dropping your slave-owning great-great grandfather's name
brax33 redid the math on a plane plunge panic
Cheese on Cheerios figured a man suing a law school for dropping a slave-owning ancestor's name favors consistency
Somaticasual took a guess at the cause of an airplane's sudden and unwelcome descent
EZbaked found proof that a dolphin planned its attack on a paddleboarder
sorceror discussed how AIs like ChatGPT work
edmo pointed out that one common suggestion to increase police accountability would not be an entirely new practice
claytonemery shared how elementary school students reacted to the main lesson of a Dr. Seuss book

CSB Sunday Morning theme: The best date you ever went on
Smart: Caelistis told us about a long, sweet date
Funny: Gulper Eel had the best seat in the house

Politics Funny:
Angry Drunk Bureaucrat got a political discussion started down the right path
karl2025 had complicated feelings
Badmoodman asked a question about handwriting discrepancies
ImpendingCynic made a wise choice
Squid_for_Brains had a question about Chinese surveillance balloons being shot down

Politics Smart:
Driedsponge had a hunch about how recovery will go for the damage from the train derailment in East Palestine, Ohio
eurotrader argued that there's no need to compromise Social Security
BizarreMan looked at what would happen if Dianne Feinstein resigned instead of finishing out her term
Private_Citizen pointed out one of the effects raising the Social Security retirement age to 70, as House Republicans want, would mean
Pocket Ninja had a suggestion for what the College Board should do about Ron DeSantis banning certain AP courses in Florida


Top Contest Entries

Some of the top-voted contest entries from last week

Photoshops:
Dodo David put Homer in a quieter workplace
Yammering_Splat_Vector created the magnificent Hypnocat
samsquatch showed us that Saturn's moon Enceladus has its own Atlas to hold it aloft
whatsupchuck took a jog around the control room
jaylight2003 knew what every cat really wants
RedZoneTuba had an instrument to show off
samsquatch helped make some space music
Yammering_Splat_Vector cooked up a mineral-rich dinner
Godscrack discovered the elusive seaharp
Godscrack showed when Earth was the target of a run-by fruiting

Farktography theme: Motion Pictures
beerrun showed us just how fast those runs for beer can be


Fark Headlines of the Week

A selection of some of the top headlines from last week

Chile woman becomes first to swim over 1-1/2 miles in Antarctica, is now even chilear

Sounds like a ewe problem

Kentucky Baby Drop Off Box turning out to be a success, replacing the questionable Take a Baby, Leave a Baby tray

Carpenter finds Treesus Christ

Lucky the cat is apparently misnamed, as after managing to make it 1,400 miles from Florida, someone dragged her back

Philippine Coast Guard accuses China of directing "military-grade" laser at one of its ships, driving the cat bonkers

Montana once again tables bill to replace Columbus Day with Indigenous Peoples Day, electing to honor not those who've lived here for millennia, but Italian-American culture and the hapless seafarer for which land-locked Montana is primarily known

We're gonna need a bigger Batman

Alec Baldwin to resume shooting

Ford to cut 1,300 jobs in the U.K. after it was discovered steering wheels were being placed on the wrong side of the car

Tuesday Morning never got the hang of Thursdays and has had enough of this Monday Friday business, files for bankruptcy this Wednesday

Orange you worried about this citrus virus? You'd better get juiced to it and not get pithed, because this could be the best of limes and the worst of limes. So squeeze the day


Fark Weird News Quiz (brought to you by ox45tallboy)

Another fun time on this week's Quiz, where we learned ChatGPT isn't quite up to the task of writing trivia questions on this week's news. But it is as good as advertised when it comes to mimicking style. On the Quiz itself, No Catchy Nickname with 1136, wildcardjack with 1034, and TheMothership with 1031 all made it into the 1000 club, although No Catchy Nickname and wildcardjack had the advantage of receiving more questions than anyone else. Last of the Hippies made second with 991, George Santos' taint received 961 which is the best score ever received on any Fark Quiz in the history of forever, WoolyManwich made fourth with 954, and coscausticevil came in fifth with 944.

The hardest question on last weeks' Hard Quiz was a STEM tab question about another method scientists are looking at to keep cows from giving off so much methane while they chew their cud. Only 29% of quiztakers caught the article about how baby kangaroos don't seem to poop out methane-containing chemicals, which is probably a genetic evolution so mommy kangaroos aren't hopping around with a pouch full of flammable gas. Scientists have found the bacteria from the joey poop seem to displace the usual methane-producing bacteria in the artificial cow stomachs in the lab for weeks and even months at a time, news which I'm sure fascinates the scientists' Tinder dates.

The easiest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about what was stolen from the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile while parked in a Las Vegas hotel parking lot over the weekend. 93% of quiztakers knew that some vastly intelligent thieves reasoned that since it has a motor and an emissions inspection sticker, it must have a catalytic converter. So they relieved the giant wiener of said burden and now have bragging rights when they get together with other catalytic converter thieves to tell tales of their experiences in the industry. 

The hardest question on last week's Hard Quiz was about another Hollywood remake, this one re-releasing on March 3. Only 32% of quiztakers knew that "Children of the Corn" is one of the most prolific franchises in horror, with eight sequels to the original and now a second remake. While "Halloween" has thirteen films, only one was a remake (Rob Zombie's 2007 film), and the latest sequel ("Halloween Ends")  was released October 14, 2022 and is currently available on Amazon Prime. 

The easiest question on last week's Easy Quiz was about which team won the Superb Owl. It turns out 98% of quiztakers either watched the game or work with a Kansas City fan, because they all got it right. 

If you missed out last week, now's a great time to catch up on the Fark Weird News Quiz. Congratulations once again to the winners, and we'll be doing it all again on Friday.