Audience members laughs at male abuse victim, host of show calls the audience out on double standards

iowahoneybadger · 2017-02-09T05:39:48+00:00

"I'd rather do that than hit her" broke my damn heart how good of a guy he sounds like and she's just standing back there smiling like a fucking fuck

Bran_Solo · 2017-02-09T04:34:19+00:00

GOOD. This is some serious shit.

A good friend of mine started dating a woman who always seemed a little off, but after they eloped randomly one day she turned violent. On many occasions she beat the hell out of him, threatened him with a knife, and threatened injury to herself. Because a man can't hit a woman, he would do his best to run away or just cower and take it, instead of fighting back. He had to conceal injuries, and lie about the ones he couldn't conceal.

One time she started choking him and when he started blacking out he panicked and shoved her. She called the police and he spent the night in jail.

Gender norms really work against men in this situation. Nobody takes the man seriously, nobody. The police didn't believe him, social services didn't believe him, when divorce proceedings began nobody believed him. Battered women suffer through a lot of shame already, imagine being in a position where nobody believes you or is on your side, and you're simultaneously unable to defend yourself and humiliated for not defending yourself.

noahdj1512 · 2017-02-09T04:05:49+00:00

And then they all clap lmao

MyWordIsBond · 2017-02-09T05:36:27+00:00

I think in the past few years, the idea of men being the victims of domestic abuse has come to light a bit more.

A story I'll always remember on the subject... 2008ish, My friend is a cop. He works a pretty bad domestic abuse call. Woman beating her husband with one of those whips/prods/whatever the horse jockeys use to make the horse run faster are called. He's got welts all over his legs, torso and arms. She is arrested. However, it is protocol for their to be followup, with the thought "without intervention it's going to happen again."

So the "standard" followup is to send the men (the usual perpetrators of the domestic violence) to court ordered classes to help teach them not to abuse their wives. This was the first "wife abusing the husband" case they had gotten since introducing this standard. They didn't know what to do, only that their was protocol now, that some intervention had to happen.

The solution? The man was sent to those classes. Not the wife who was the perpetrator. The husband. The victim of domestic abuse was ordered to take classes for men who had abused their wives.

MirrorNinja2 · 2017-02-09T01:23:43+00:00

mirror - NZ restricted

Left-field-bum · 2017-02-09T05:16:54+00:00

Formerly abused dude, beat by my sons mom. She was arrested for domestic abuse before we split up. When we split up and it came time for court, her abuse against me was over looked as being "too far back" to matter; despite it being about a year.

When I told the judge about the multiple instances I'd been abused both physically and mentally, he smirked. Much like the cops that arrested her that night a year before, except they openly laughed at me.

I've learned that guys in America don't get to talk about domestic abuse if it happens to them. You're a pussy, you should take the shit and smile, and be glad to be in the life of your child.

Fuck the family court system in America.

Morigyn · 2017-02-09T03:51:04+00:00

How is domestic violence ever funny? You don't need to be big to be a monster, you just need to be awful.

MakoTitan · 2017-02-09T02:42:05+00:00

I feel for this dude. As a man with children in a very abusive relationship, I have been searching for the right answers for so long. She's puts marks on me, nonstop screaming and cursing, constant violent behavior! I've been recording her and putting everything on a flash drive for a very long time to build a case. It's a nightmare, and the worst part is I hired an attorney, and he told me that even though I have so much, he can't guarantee me that the judge will at least give me majority custody AND there's still a chance I'll owe her child support...At least while I'm here, I can be the saving grace for my kids when they need me. Thanks a lot American court system. I come to you with countless pieces of evidence and I'm still the one risking it all...That's just not right. Anyone know Ellen Degeneres? I heard she likes to help people...Might be my only option at this point. :/

Edit: I'm so grateful for all the kind words of support. It's made me be able to rest a little easier tonight. Thank you!!!

Edit 2: I was NOT expecting this to blow up like it has! I have responded to everyone so far, but the inbox is getting a little beyond my control. I'll be getting a little more spread out with my responses from here on out. I apologize for that. Thanks so much for everything! The support is overwhelming!!!

Edit 3: I updated this edit. Thanks for the concerns.

Edit 4: Thank you so much to the kind stranger and the gold. Again, the support has really given me some seriously needed confidence.

Tugmonkey92 · 2017-02-09T00:59:52+00:00

Fucking Jeremy Kyle man. Here America, our gift to you.

-Guybrush_Threepwood · 2017-02-09T05:24:23+00:00

Yeah fuck this double standard. I saw a lot of "red alerts" in a previous relationship (2+ years) and decided to end it before it was too late, only to find out she was fucking nuts and kept harassing me and trying to hurt me both physically and mentally. She tried to hit, scratch and insult me at every chance she got. Only thing I could do was protect myself, because what she wanted is to get hit so that she could be the victim. This went on for months.

I had to leave my job and go to another city overnight because she threatened me to falsely report to the police that I hit her if I don't get back with her. She waited outside my home, my work, and even called my friends and family to know where I was. So the only option for me was to run.

Fuck the people who think that only a woman can be abused. If anything, a woman abusing a man is worse because you cannot openly get help without getting raised eyebrows or laughs from everyone. In my case I was lucky, but I still get fucking nightmares about it after 5 years. Just writing about it makes me shiver.

whatisabaggins55 · 2017-02-09T01:53:14+00:00

I don't particularly like his show, but goddamn he does make good points sometimes.

PM_ME_MOD_STATUS · 2017-02-09T03:07:11+00:00

Jeremy Kyle. Paragon of ethics.

BeyondEarthly · 2017-02-09T03:48:55+00:00

That was enraging. Who in their right mind would think to laugh? I'm thankful the host called them out.

ILikeMyBlueEyes · 2017-02-09T06:03:23+00:00

Sexual and domestic abuse towards men is not funny whatsoever.

Last night I was watching an episode of The Drew Carey Show. In one scene it shows Drew straightening his tie before he left for a job interview. In walks Nigel's mother who is determined to get Drew to change his mind about accepting his is old job back. She ties his hands behind his back and starts taking off his clothes while he tried to get her to stop. Apparently raping a man is an acceptable way to try and change someone's mind.

nixonrichard · 2017-02-09T05:32:54+00:00

[deleted]

Vocaloidas · 2017-02-09T04:19:41+00:00

That's why I think people are generally fucked up.

GammaKrypton · 2017-02-09T05:07:25+00:00

This needs to get upvoted. I recently collected sources for a university paper on sexism. I wanted to show the double standards between men and women, but peer-reviewed articles in the defense of males were quite scarce. I am all for equality for women, but in the era of challenging engrained social perspectives, double standards like the one in this post must be acknowledged as well.

brianatlarge · 2017-02-09T04:52:08+00:00

Anyone else notice the tongue action?

https://media.giphy.com/media/d1E3coY2nrDpFlkI/giphy.gif

terminalradness · 2017-02-09T06:25:56+00:00

Abuse is abuse

ChocolateSteez · 2017-02-09T00:45:57+00:00

That was fantastic.

paralegalchute · 2017-02-09T05:07:15+00:00

What a bunch of fucking lemmings that audience.

rfox71rt · 2017-02-09T04:25:11+00:00

When they laugh it tells me that I should laugh!

aivenier · 2017-02-09T06:34:00+00:00

Any woman who laughs at a male DV victim is not a feminist. Any woman who says that men can't be raped is not a feminist. Feminism is about equality, and I'm so fucking glad that he pointed that shit out. Double standards go for both genders.

Fuck all the people who laughed. I hope they took something from that scolding and came out of it more educated and understanding.

bcbrooklyn · 2017-02-09T06:16:48+00:00

Most people don't realize this, but women are just as likely to be violent toward male partners as male partners are to women. Of course, since men are usually physically larger and stronger, male-to-female violence has the potential to do more harm. But men who are the receivers of physical abuse often face fears of stigma, fears of ridicule, and fears of not being believed. So they are are more likely feel the need to hide their situations and thus more likely to suffer alone. And most men in these situations have no idea that their situation is more common than they realize. And just like MakoTitan says, men sometimes find it harder to leave, because they know that they are less likely to get custody of the kids.

AKindChap · 2017-02-09T05:40:20+00:00

What I love about Jeremy Kyle is they all do one thing, he scolds them for it, then they all applaud.

It doesn't matter what Jeremy does on this show (and he does an awful lot of crap. He might have guests on the show who he claims to want to help, but it's always about him, hence the name of the show) they will always back him up 100%

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