5 popular dating myths — Busted!

Most bookstores have entire sections devoted to first-date etiquette advice.

But who wants to date someone who merely calibrates their behavior to what they think the general populace wants?

Trying to discern the real personality of your date turns the evening into a crossword puzzle as you struggle to guess what's really behind the numbers. The following is a rundown of standard sensible advice... with Coco caveats.

1. Image
“They” Say: Clothes, hair and grooming should be stylish but not outlandish. Leave the pajamas and Victorian drag at home. One popular book aimed at women even goes so far as to recommend a "man-pleasing" hairstyle (long and neat) and outfit (black dress and sheer stockings).

Coco Caveat: Why dress to please anyone other than you? You don't need to attract all men or all women, just that one individual who wants to join you on your crazy little planet. So to hell with sheer stockings — be true to yourself. If you're a leather-loving, bald-headed cowgirl, don chaps and flight jacket and buff up your plate; if he doesn't get the joke, he's not worth a second date.


2. Conversation
“They” Say: In this instance, you are not the most interesting subject of conversation. Everybody wants someone to tell their stories to, so quiz your partner on his or her family and friends, interests and career; greet each new bit of information as though it were headline news.

Coco Caveat: Those who ask questions without adding input of their own can sometimes seem people-pleasing and desperate; without stories to tell, they come off as boring. Certainly ask your date questions about his or her life and interests, but don't be afraid to talk about your own.


3. Body language
“They” Say: Flirt without words. Stand (or sit) close to your partner. Stroke your hair, lick your lips and touch your date gently on the arm.

Coco Caveat: If a man I was dating kept grooming himself in front of me, I'd think I was dating a monkey! Also, public displays can seem a bit presumptuous unless a relationship has actually been established. Be sensitive to your date's body language and judge each situation individually.


4. Follow through
“They” Say: Don't leave things hanging. Sometime before the end of the date, list a few pastimes you'd like to pursue as an excuse for meeting again.

Coco Caveat: If there's chemistry on both sides, no pretense for a second meeting is required.


5. The kiss goodnight
“They” Say: The general wisdom on the subject of intimacy is that it's best left for later. Hold back, don't give up anything, leave them panting for more.

Coco Caveat: Only donkeys require a carrot-and-stick approach to relationships; if you feel it, go for it. Why let rules screw up a perfectly magical moment? When he or she moves in for the kiss... pucker up!

Don’t fall into the media’s dating trap! Search for local singles and make up your own mind about romance!

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