Money Money
There are no longer any hard and fast rules as to "Who Pays for What", but a general guideline follows as to the traditional breakdown.  Expense list

Working out a budget for your wedding is one of the first things that should be done once the date is set. Will the ceremony be formal, semiformal or informal?  A formal wedding, of course, will be the most expensive and the informal, the least. Nothing is set in concrete.  Who pays for what? Unlike a decade ago, the lines are no longer so rigidly drawn. The burden of paying for the wedding has shifted in recent years from the shoulders of the father of the bride, to include the groom's family.  Also, with many couples marrying later and having money of their own, they are sharing in the expenses. Expense list

Tipping
Tipping has always been a personal expression of gratitude for service given and appreciated. The question of tipping those persons responsible for assisting you in your wedding planning is one of obvious importance and concern.

Gratuities are almost always added into the final bill, whether you have hired a private catering company or are using one of the finest hotel facilities.  The question has been asked, "Is it proper to tip the servers, when I have already paid a gratuity in my contracted price?"  The answer is, of course,  "tipping has always been a personal expression of gratitude for service given and appreciated."  For instance, if a particular server has spent his evening providing you service, over and above your expectations, and you choose to give that individual a "tip," that choice is entirely up to you. It should be given for extra special services only. It is not required, as the gratuity has, as noted, already been paid.  The customary amount would be up to 15%.

Others falling into the above category, include catering managers, hotel banquet managers, waiters, waitresses, bartenders and bridal consultants. Tipping a hostess or captain would fall in the 1% to 2% range.  Remember, this has already been added to your final bill and additional tipping is just that. Additional tipping!

Coat Room Attendants: 
It is customary to give fifty cents per guest. However, it may be to your advantage to arrange for a flat fee prior to the event. 

Limousine Driver: 
A tip of 15% is the appropriate amount to be given to your limo driver.  Be sure to read your contract, as the tip has often already been added into the final bill.

Florists, Photographers, Bakers, Musicians: 
Tipping only for extra special services, up to 15%.

Civil Ceremony Officials: (Judge, Justice of the Peace, City Clerk) 
In years gone by, it was considered improper to "ask" a set fee for services rendered. However, today, you may find a "suggested" donation for those in public service. In a recent survey, it was found the average gratuity was between $50 and $75.  If travel is involved, an additional gratuity is expected.

Clergymen, Rabbis, Priests: 
No less than a $75 donation is considered proper and it is rare to find anyone giving less than a $100 gratuity for the wedding officiate.   This donation should be given to the best man prior to the ceremony. Following the proceedings, he will then give it to the officiate. If travel is involved, an additional gratuity is appreciated.

Organist and Musician: 
Fees for church organists and musicians are often included in the rental fee for the church.  When this is not the case, a gratuity of no less than $35 is appropriate, but in a recent survey, the average was $50 for each person. When the organist and musician (soloist) are close friends of the couple or family, the gratuity averaged $75.

Mother of the Groom Responsibilities
The following rules of etiquette are shared to increase the joy and fulfill the traditional responsibilities of the mother of the groom.  Responsibilities include:

Mother of the Bride Responsibilities
The Primary responsibility of the Mother of the Bride is to see that the bride's wishes are carried out the bride's way.  It will be your responsibility to help the bride plan here wedding her way…not yours, unless, it is the true desire of the bride to "let mom run things." primary responsibilities:

The Wedding Invitation
Helpful hints and examples. Wedding Invitation Wording

Writing Thank You Cards
A personal thank you is the only appropriate way to say "Thank You!" At one time, notes were not considered necessary when you thanked someone in person. Today, with guest lists being longer and guests busier, a personal note is the only way to make sure sincere appreciation is expressed. Just telling someone who has given you a gift, how much you appreciate it, does not "cut the cake!".  Wedding Invitation Wording

The Wedding Dance
Dancing at your reception is a lovely way to bring an air of elegance and family togetherness.  Traditionally, the bride and groom will be the first to dance as their special song is played softly. Lights dimmed low create a romantic atmosphere.

As the music continues to play, the father of the bride will cut in on the groom and dance with his daughter. The groom asks the bride's mother to join him in a dance and together they grace the dance floor.

The groom's father then cuts in on the bride's father and dances with the bride himself. The bride's father will then cut in on the groom and dance with his wife.

The groom will then ask his mother to dance. Following this, the parents exchange dances with the other couple.

The best man then comes out to ask the bride to dance and the groom will dance with the maid or matron of honor. Finally, the entire wedding party, ushers and bridesmaids join in the festivities. Once the entire bridal party and their parents are on the dance floor, the other guests are invited to dance.

The "money dance" originated as a custom in Poland, and is a popular tradition found celebrated in the weddings of today. It takes place sometime after the first dance and is usually announced by the DJ. It is customary for the best man to begin dancing with the bride, pinning money onto her gown or putting it into a satin bag carried by the bride, especially for the money dance.  A newer rendition of this money dance includes bridesmaids and other ladies dancing with the groom, pinning money on his lapel.

Calling the Wedding Off
You have heard it said on more than one occasion, "better a broken engagement today, than a broken home tomorrow." At some point during wedding planning, many couples have normal doubts and last minute jitters. After all, it is only natural. The importance of choosing a mate cannot be over emphasized.  There are few decisions in life so important and of such lasting consequence.

A broken engagement is painful for everyone involved.  If the engagement has not been formally announced, the word can be simply passed to a few friends who will tell other people.  When passing along such sensitive information, it is important to maintain the privacy of those involved. 

If the engagement has been announced in the papers, a brief announcement to the effect that it is now broken is in order.  The announcement should read something to the effect:

Mr. and Mrs. Ronald  C. Smith announce that
the engagement of their daughter
Kristine Marie and Mr. Kevin Allen White
has been ended by mutual consent.

If the wedding invitations have been sent, a printed announcement is the proper way to make the broken engagement known.  However, if the engagement is broken only a few days prior to the wedding, the news must be passed around as quickly as possible.  To do this, the family may have to resort to the telephone, as well as printed announcements. Suggested wording for the announcement:

Mr. and Mrs. Ronald  C. Philips
announce that the marriage of their daughter
Kristine Marie to
Mr. Kevin Allen White
will not take place.

Occasionally, there may be reason to postpone a wedding due to a death in the family or serious illness. In the case of a postponement, it is important all guests be notified as soon as possible. Remember, some guests may have plane reservations to cancel and reschedule.  In the event of a postponement, an explanation is proper, whereas in the case of an outright cancellation, no explanation is given. If time permits, formal announcements may be printed, however, handwritten notes are also appropriate.  Suggested wording  for a notice of postponement may read as follows:

Mr. and Mrs. Ronald C. Smith
Regret that they are obliged to recall
The invitations to the marriage of their daughter
Kristine Marie to Mr. Kevin Allen White
Due to the death of Mr. White's father
James Edward White

If the wedding is still to take place, the following can also be added to the above announcement:

The ceremony will be held privately
In the presence of the immediate family

The occasion may also arise when the invitations to a reception must be recalled.  The following wording is appropriate in the instance where the ceremony will take place, but not the reception.

Mr. and Mrs. Ronald C. Smith
Regret that owing to a death in the family
They are obligated to recall the invitations
To the marriage reception of their daughter
On Saturday, the first day of October
Nineteen hundred and Ninety eight
The marriage ceremony will take place
As originally planned

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