|
|
Ain’t no Love
like that of a Filipina Author Unknown |
Useful
resources for information News from the Discovering
the Information
on Cities and provinces in the Provincial
Governments in the
Do you have a Filipina American Love story to tell? Hinigugma will
host your Filipina / American Love story for you
Absolutely Free. Please submit your love Story or contact me for details Here Webmasters: Free URL
submission Here Trusted Affiliates Common
Myths Dating the Filipina Mirror Sites for
downloads and information |
|
The web is full of advice pages offering instructions
and advice on Filipina Dating and how to successfully find the Filipina
bride. Most of these sites are linked to or a part of a "Pay per
Address" mail order bride catalog. Most if not all of them definitely
offer advice that makes it fairly obvious they are trying to sell a product.
Some even go as far as to say the average Filipina has financial reasons to
marry a westerner. Why would any one want a wife whose primary purpose and
reasoning to be married at all is financial incentives?
I even saw one page that gave the Tagolog translation for "Do you want to come to Hopefully you will stay long enough to read
and understand the Filipina's heart. Hopefully you are not seeking a poor,
economically depressed woman who will be submissive to your every whim. You
will have trouble finding a woman like that in the Dating Filipina Style
To the Filipina the ideal
relationship is a series of stages over a long period of time. Engagements
more often last for several years. The Filipinas have a very high regard for
marriage and view being married as a life long commitment. For one there is
no such law on the books in the
Since I am writing this primarily for American readers I will not go
into too much detail about the typical Filipino courtship. For the most part
the couple will start out as a friendship, Outings
together will be with in a group of friends in public places. There will be
no public displays of affection such as kissing or holding hands at this
point. Their intentions of being a couple are merely being explored. Second, the couple will move into a phase
of very discrete outings together without the company of friends. Again the
optimum word here is "Discretely". After a period of time they may
wish to take the relationship public at which time they may want include the
announcement of the engagement. Filipinas have a very traditional
announcement called "Pamanhikan” you can read
in depth about this “Here" More often
then not nowadays the average Filipina will (depending on part of the Maybe the best information I can give you
for Filipina Dating is this. When courting the Filipina you are not courting
just her, you are courting the entire family. She will also expect this from
you. When the two of you have decided to make your relationship public then
would be the proper time to begin introducing her to your family members. At
the same time it is advised for Westerners to begin to become acquainted with
the Filipina’s family. If you have any questions regarding which traditions
that should be observed you may discuss them an older siblings preferably a
sister. This again well help you earn her respect by entrusting her family
with high regard Many Filipinas have instilled in them since
birth a sense of honor called “Delicadesa”. Having Delicadesa forbids them to bring shame upon their family.
Flirting, Scandalous relationships, boasting, disrespect, violent behavior, or even borrowing money will go against the
grain of a respectable Filipina Respect for Elders, keeping your promises
(every time), honesty, shy demeanor, and
"The Maria Clara-image" of a woman who is shy, demure,
modest, self-effacing, and loyal to the end, is more in kind with having Delicadesa You will also find Filipina women to be shy
and reserved even when holding great feelings for you. Again this is part of
their culture. Filipino men also place great importance on treating their
girlfriend with respect and reverence. Once on a ship coming from one of the
provinces, me and my wife over heard 2 Filipino men having a conversation
about their girlfriends over a few San Miguel beers together. They were
boasting of the many ways they nurture and treat their girl friends with
respect. As my wife translated to me I could see it was more of gestures and
acts of appreciation then dollar amounts and influence So for the American courting the Filipina
there is no way around it. If you truly want a successful courtship with a
Filipina woman, then you will have to lead with heart, honor, and wisdom.
Sending lavish gifts or money may offend her Honor (her Delicadesa).
My advice is to take your time and enjoy the process. Look not for the differences
but rather the similarities in the 2 cultures. The
Filipina Sexuality
First off when dating the Filipina
you should be realistic about sexuality. For one, you yourself are probably
not a virgin. The average American male seeking a Filipina wife has already
been divorced once if not twice. Yet many American men when they first begin
their search for a Filipina wife will readily ask if she is a virgin. The
result is typically the same, the Filipina will stop
any and all conversations and correspondence with any man who immediately ask
a question such as that. Basically you have insulted her honor. I have discussed this issue at length with
eligible Filipinas actively searching for a Life long partner and the result
is typically the same. For many of the Filipinas discussion of sexual
experience is strictly "Taboo". Not to say that they don't have
them, just that it is ONLY with extremely well trusted and close personal
friends. When your girl is ready she will more then likely be completely
honest with you. At the same time she will expect you to be completely honest
with her. This opens up an entirely different can of
worms and the primary reason you should never use virginity as a precursor to
your search for a Filipina wife. From the view point of the Asian culture the
American sexuality is viewed and described as "Americans are like
Dogs". The idea of going into a bar and "Picking up" a woman
and taking her home and to bed is completely foreign to them. That type of
behavior is just not practiced in the Americans will meet Filipina women in their
30s who are still virgins. In the Philippine culture this is often associated
with career women, who concentrate on education and career as opposed to
marriage and family. Often times the Filipina will wait until 30 some thing
before listening to their biological clock and start seeking a family. You
will find many of these women on the internet as they also have the education
to use the internet You will also find young Filipinas that have
welcomed motherhood at a very young age. Remember the importance their
society places on family. When this occurs to an unwed mother she is often
times considered as damaged goods by most of the prospective available males
in her country Quote “I am a
certified Filipino and lemme share with you in the
best way I can about how our culture views "sex" in general. You
see, in the olden days, sex was a "taboo". Old people will blow
their top if you talk about it, much even more if you do not put it in the
right perspective. For example, pre-marital sex is a big no-no. All these
parameters are founded in a belief that sex is sacred and can only be
consumed by a man and woman who pledged for an everlasting union before God
and people -- beyond that is a curse. If a girl happens to bear a child out
of wedlock, she's eternally doomed in the eyes of the society.” End
quote More often then not, they stay single for
decades as apposed to months for this reason. I have personally seen many successful
lasting Filipina / American relationships with just such a woman. A woman the
most loving and kind that only wishes to be accepted for who she is and will
return your love 10 fold. I have also seen Americans scoff at these
truths making assumptions based upon their own experiences dating here in the
The Filipina takes pride in all matters of
her relationship to her husband. What goes on behind closed doors is no
exception to this. She is not going to leave no stone unturned to keep her
man happy at home. Again my advice is to take it slow as we Americans live in
a very mush more promiscuous society. Then again the Filipinas live in a
society where life long commitments are the norm. You both will have
something to learn and gain from the experience of loving each other
Economic
Considerations
Well I alluded to it so there fore I only feel it fair that I discuss this
in the context of this discussion and how it may affect you in your search
for the Filipina's heart. I'll attempt as best I can to dabble in this
subject since it is one that invokes great turmoil when being discussed in
Filipina / American relationship forums. There is nothing I can say to make
you fully understand the nature of the Beast until you actually travel there
and see for yourself. Suffice it to say Westerners have an economic advantage
by Dollar / Peso exchange rate, and living standards. None of which is in the
power of the average Filipina to control. Your Girl and her family may be
quite successful by Philippine standards and yet seem quite poor by American
/ European standards Some so called experts on Filipina /
American relations would advise you the necessity to always remind your self
and accept the fact that immigration to a better living standard is part of
the relationship. This would be a fatal error on your part and I highly
recommend to you not to ever consider that nor allow it to affect your views
and relationship with your girl. In
some instances Westerners have courted women only to find out the exact
opposite. In one such case after a very short
courtship an American Gentlemen traveled to the From the Filipinas view point she is going
to travel to a far away land where she will not have any family or friends.
They speak a foreign language, have different customs, and do not have her
favorite foods, far out weigh any economic considerations. At the same time
being a good provider is a universal consideration for any woman,
irregardless of which country she happens to reside in. Still others would
say part of a man's attractiveness is his wealth and power. You can debate
this infinitely just as you could try pondering how to figure out women My advice is simple. There are gold
diggers on both sides of the More to the truth. The number of Marriage
minded personal ads from the If you have found yourself intrigued by the
mystique of the Filipina. Or even if you, like me realize you would like to
find a Beautiful Warm Loving Woman to share the
rest of your life with. I would like
to invite you to keep reading as I attempt to help you understand and come to
love as I did the Beautiful Women of the Finding the
Beautiful Filipina Ok by now if you have been reading my
ramblings then you can assume I was flying by the seat of my pants all the way
up to the alter. That would not be entirely true. As my interest grew for my
wife I did start to research via: the internet customs and the culture of the
The Philippine culture surrounding
relationships and marriage does still like the formal introduction. This has
given way slightly in modern times to less formal introductions and
referrals. You may have friends already that are from the I personally don’t recommend Chat rooms as
it is more liken to a play ground. Not to say that many in the
Email / Mail
Correspondence This was for me the preferred method of
seeking the Beautiful Filipina. Email / letter correspondence allows a more insightful,
personal method to get to know you perspective Filipina The English language is taught in all
schools in the
Internet
Dating Sites Remember I have serious doubts about the
Pay Per Address / Pay Per View variety dating sites that offer 1000s of
Beautiful Women from You can use services such as the Pay Per
View or Free Dating sites frequented by Filipinas. Either will produce
several 1000 profiles of women from the Also the Americans have a reputation as
Playboys that has preceded them to the You also need to know they are often times
flooded with responses. Their email accounts over flow and stop accepting
Email or they have found some one of interest and are communicating with them
exclusively. Especially do not ask if they are a virgin as I hear about this
time and time again. The insult and response is almost always the same, “Good Bye” Important
information for Internet Romance My advice to
a close friend I and my wife introduced to his now fiancé is this. If you
really like this girl and you seriously wish to pursue this relationship.
Then your main objective right now should be communication. By what ever
means you wish to use, which ever works the best for you and your girl? Then
you need to work on it until you can fully understand her The cyber age has hit the Text messaging is also all the rage in the |
|
Copyright of Hinigugma.com
Copyright @2004
No part here in my be copied or reproduced with out the
expressed
Written consent jfinigan@msn.com