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Filipina Dating

Filipina Dating

Filipina Dating

 

Ain’t no Love like that of a Filipina

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Filipina Dating II

 

 

 

 

 

 

  

  The web is full of advice pages offering instructions and advice on Filipina Dating and how to successfully find the Filipina bride. Most of these sites are linked to or a part of a "Pay per Address" mail order bride catalog. Most if not all of them definitely offer advice that makes it fairly obvious they are trying to sell a product. Some even go as far as to say the average Filipina has financial reasons to marry a westerner. Why would any one want a wife whose primary purpose and reasoning to be married at all is financial incentives? 

 

   I even saw one page that gave the Tagolog translation for "Do you want to come to America and live like a Queen?" as a precursor to the actual question of "Will you marry me?" By the way, when I first viewed that web page, I was in the Philippines with my wife in her home. When I said it out loud to her (in English) she immediately became alarmed and asked me not to mention it again in fear the neighbors might hear it and think I was talking to her.

 

  Hopefully you will stay long enough to read and understand the Filipina's heart. Hopefully you are not seeking a poor, economically depressed woman who will be submissive to your every whim. You will have trouble finding a woman like that in the Philippines. I simply offer realistic advice for Filipina dating and successfully courting Filipina women.

 

 

Dating Filipina Style

 

  To the Filipina the ideal relationship is a series of stages over a long period of time. Engagements more often last for several years. The Filipinas have a very high regard for marriage and view being married as a life long commitment. For one there is no such law on the books in the Philippines as Divorce or Legal Separation. Only recently have they written laws and allowed Annulment for a very limited few reasons.

 

  Since I am writing this primarily for American readers I will not go into too much detail about the typical Filipino courtship. For the most part the couple will start out as a friendship, Outings together will be with in a group of friends in public places. There will be no public displays of affection such as kissing or holding hands at this point. Their intentions of being a couple are merely being explored.

 

  Second, the couple will move into a phase of very discrete outings together without the company of friends. Again the optimum word here is "Discretely". After a period of time they may wish to take the relationship public at which time they may want include the announcement of the engagement. Filipinas have a very traditional announcement called "Pamanhikan you can read in depth about this Here" More often then not nowadays the average Filipina will (depending on part of the Philippines she is from) adhere to some form of these traditions. More then likely you will find them a blend of Filipino and Western traditions.

 

  Maybe the best information I can give you for Filipina Dating is this. When courting the Filipina you are not courting just her, you are courting the entire family. She will also expect this from you. When the two of you have decided to make your relationship public then would be the proper time to begin introducing her to your family members. At the same time it is advised for Westerners to begin to become acquainted with the Filipina’s family. If you have any questions regarding which traditions that should be observed you may discuss them an older siblings preferably a sister. This again well help you earn her respect by entrusting her family with high regard

 

  Many Filipinas have instilled in them since birth a sense of honor called “Delicadesa”. Having Delicadesa forbids them to bring shame upon their family. Flirting, Scandalous relationships, boasting, disrespect, violent behavior,  or even borrowing money will go against the grain of a respectable Filipina

 

 

  Respect for Elders, keeping your promises (every time), honesty, shy demeanor, and  "The Maria Clara-image" of a woman who is shy, demure, modest, self-effacing, and loyal to the end, is more in kind with having Delicadesa

 

  You will also find Filipina women to be shy and reserved even when holding great feelings for you. Again this is part of their culture. Filipino men also place great importance on treating their girlfriend with respect and reverence. Once on a ship coming from one of the provinces, me and my wife over heard 2 Filipino men having a conversation about their girlfriends over a few San Miguel beers together. They were boasting of the many ways they nurture and treat their girl friends with respect. As my wife translated to me I could see it was more of gestures and acts of appreciation then dollar amounts and influence

 

  So for the American courting the Filipina there is no way around it. If you truly want a successful courtship with a Filipina woman, then you will have to lead with heart, honor, and wisdom. Sending lavish gifts or money may offend her Honor (her Delicadesa). My advice is to take your time and enjoy the process. Look not for the differences but rather the similarities in the 2 cultures. The Philippines may be considered a 3rd world country but they are rich in their loving ways and strong family ties. Embrace and respect these traditions as you would your prospective mate and you will have a life long partner that will enrich your life as you can never imagine.

 

Filipina Sexuality

 

  First off when dating the Filipina you should be realistic about sexuality. For one, you yourself are probably not a virgin. The average American male seeking a Filipina wife has already been divorced once if not twice. Yet many American men when they first begin their search for a Filipina wife will readily ask if she is a virgin. The result is typically the same, the Filipina will stop any and all conversations and correspondence with any man who immediately ask a question such as that. Basically you have insulted her honor.

 

  I have discussed this issue at length with eligible Filipinas actively searching for a Life long partner and the result is typically the same. For many of the Filipinas discussion of sexual experience is strictly "Taboo". Not to say that they don't have them, just that it is ONLY with extremely well trusted and close personal friends. When your girl is ready she will more then likely be completely honest with you. At the same time she will expect you to be completely honest with her.

 

  This opens up an entirely different can of worms and the primary reason you should never use virginity as a precursor to your search for a Filipina wife. From the view point of the Asian culture the American sexuality is viewed and described as "Americans are like Dogs". The idea of going into a bar and "Picking up" a woman and taking her home and to bed is completely foreign to them. That type of behavior is just not practiced in the Philippines and is more liken to prostitution in their country. So from their point of view they should be more concerned with your sexual back ground then you with that of any perspective Filipinas

 

  Americans will meet Filipina women in their 30s who are still virgins. In the Philippine culture this is often associated with career women, who concentrate on education and career as opposed to marriage and family. Often times the Filipina will wait until 30 some thing before listening to their biological clock and start seeking a family. You will find many of these women on the internet as they also have the education to use the internet

 

 You will also find young Filipinas that have welcomed motherhood at a very young age. Remember the importance their society places on family. When this occurs to an unwed mother she is often times considered as damaged goods by most of the prospective available males in her country

 

 

Quote

  “I am a certified Filipino and lemme share with you in the best way I can about how our culture views "sex" in general. You see, in the olden days, sex was a "taboo". Old people will blow their top if you talk about it, much even more if you do not put it in the right perspective. For example, pre-marital sex is a big no-no. All these parameters are founded in a belief that sex is sacred and can only be consumed by a man and woman who pledged for an everlasting union before God and people -- beyond that is a curse. If a girl happens to bear a child out of wedlock, she's eternally doomed in the eyes of the society.”

End quote

 

  More often then not, they stay single for decades as apposed to months for this reason. I have personally seen many successful lasting Filipina / American relationships with just such a woman. A woman the most loving and kind that only wishes to be accepted for who she is and will return your love 10 fold.

 

  I have also seen Americans scoff at these truths making assumptions based upon their own experiences dating here in the U.S. Again, that is our society, our realities, they are basing their assumptions from. Still others ponder that could they be completely satisfied with a woman that for so many years or a lifetime never engaged in the physical act of sex. Closer to the truth once unleashed it is like the bursting of a dam and the poor American male floundering in the flood waters

 

  The Filipina takes pride in all matters of her relationship to her husband. What goes on behind closed doors is no exception to this. She is not going to leave no stone unturned to keep her man happy at home. Again my advice is to take it slow as we Americans live in a very mush more promiscuous society. Then again the Filipinas live in a society where life long commitments are the norm. You both will have something to learn and gain from the experience of loving each other

 

 

 

Economic Considerations

 

  Well I alluded to it so there fore I only feel it fair that I discuss this in the context of this discussion and how it may affect you in your search for the Filipina's heart. I'll attempt as best I can to dabble in this subject since it is one that invokes great turmoil when being discussed in Filipina / American relationship forums. There is nothing I can say to make you fully understand the nature of the Beast until you actually travel there and see for yourself. Suffice it to say Westerners have an economic advantage by Dollar / Peso exchange rate, and living standards. None of which is in the power of the average Filipina to control. Your Girl and her family may be quite successful by Philippine standards and yet seem quite poor by American / European standards

 

  Some so called experts on Filipina / American relations would advise you the necessity to always remind your self and accept the fact that immigration to a better living standard is part of the relationship. This would be a fatal error on your part and I highly recommend to you not to ever consider that nor allow it to affect your views and relationship with your girl.  In some instances Westerners have courted women only to find out the exact opposite.

 

  In one such case after a very short courtship an American Gentlemen traveled to the Philippines to meet his would be wife. Immediately upon his return to the United States he filed an I-129F fiancé' visa for her. She refused to even fill out the packet from the Embassy or go to the interview. His assumption based upon her economic conditions and the belief that "All Filipinas want to come to the United States" simply wasn't true. Her exact words were, "if not for Love then not at all". This poor fellow never took the time to cultivate a relationship or properly court her. He merely assumed she would based upon the economic conditions of the country.

 

   From the Filipinas view point she is going to travel to a far away land where she will not have any family or friends. They speak a foreign language, have different customs, and do not have her favorite foods, far out weigh any economic considerations. At the same time being a good provider is a universal consideration for any woman, irregardless of which country she happens to reside in. Still others would say part of a man's attractiveness is his wealth and power. You can debate this infinitely just as you could try pondering how to figure out women

 

   My advice is simple. There are gold diggers on both sides of the Pacific Ocean. You will encounter them where ever you go. Just because of the number of Philippine women placing ads in Mail Order Bride magazines don't assume they are all out to find a rich sugar daddy to settle down with

 

  More to the truth. The number of Marriage minded personal ads from the Philippines represents the Pay Per View or Pay Per Address industries greed. First off it is illegal in the Philippines to broker woman’s addresses for money. This how ever does not deter them in the slightest from offering cash rewards to solicitors for the Philippine women addresses. Some of these addresses and profiles are of women that can not read or write English or Tagalog. Still others only pondered for the slightest moment actually entertaining the idea of meeting and marrying a Foreigner. Basically you can write 15 of these addresses and perhaps get 1 reply

 

  If you have found yourself intrigued by the mystique of the Filipina. Or even if you, like me realize you would like to find a Beautiful Warm Loving Woman to share the rest of your life with. I would like to invite you to keep reading as I attempt to help you understand and come to love as I did the Beautiful Women of the Philippines

 

 

 

Finding the Beautiful Filipina

 

  Ok by now if you have been reading my ramblings then you can assume I was flying by the seat of my pants all the way up to the alter. That would not be entirely true. As my interest grew for my wife I did start to research via: the internet customs and the culture of the Philippines. Please try to bare with me as I try to explain some of these and at the same time try to give you the reader some clues as to “How to find the Beautiful Filipina”

 

  The Philippine culture surrounding relationships and marriage does still like the formal introduction. This has given way slightly in modern times to less formal introductions and referrals. You may have friends already that are from the Philippines. You might also find message boards and other internet communities frequented almost entirely by Filipinas. Don’t be surprised if offers don’t immediately present themselves to you as they place high importance on getting to know you before they offer to introduce you to one of their own. They will how ever once having coming to know you ask if you are interested  

 

 

 

  I personally don’t recommend Chat rooms as it is more liken to a play ground. Not to say that many in the Philippines don’t frequent them, because they do. The internet has become a weekend play ground for many Filipinas there that know how to use it, and can afford it. Just that the main participants are of high school age and not seriously thinking of marriage or a close personal relationship. Still others, some from the Philippines and some from other Asian countries frequent them are of the professional private entertainer variety. Either way I have never personally seen any thing that would lead to finding a marriage minded relationship

 

 

 

Email / Mail Correspondence

 

      This was for me the preferred method of seeking the Beautiful Filipina. Email / letter correspondence allows a more insightful, personal method to get to know you perspective Filipina

 

  The English language is taught in all schools in the Philippines and has been declared the national language of the Philippines as a means to unite the many languages and dialects of the Philippines. How ever many of the Philippine citizens have not had the opportunities or the need to practice English orally. Correspondence allows her the time necessary to formulate her words and thoughts in what is a second language to her. Many Filipinas will choose to remain silent rather then disgrace their self by mispronunciation of an English word. Where as the wonders of technology will allow spell check and thesaurus to be used seamlessly on the computer. Besides for me personally correspondence is much more personal and endearing to the reader

 

 

 

Internet Dating Sites

 

  Remember I have serious doubts about the Pay Per Address / Pay Per View variety dating sites that offer 1000s of Beautiful Women from Asia. It is not so much the women listed in the profiles but rather the operators of these sites I find unscrupulous. Remember they only offer listing and by no means can guarantee results or honesty in their listings. They often times purposefully forget or refuse to remove profiles of women that write telling them they have already committed to some one and could they please remove her profile. Other times they give instructions and information that quite simply proves they have limited or absolutely no knowledge of the Philippines and or the Women of the Philippines

 

  You can use services such as the Pay Per View or Free Dating sites frequented by Filipinas. Either will produce several 1000 profiles of women from the Philippines. How ever I do caution you to rely on information from Filipina / American Web Sites and Discussion Boards as opposed to the Pay Per View web sites. There you can receive advice from Americans that have gone before you and their Filipina wives first hand. This would give you the clearest picture possible of what you getting yourself into

 

  Also the Americans have a reputation as Playboys that has preceded them to the Philippines. You will find it common that within the first several correspondences they will ask you how many women you are writing. This is more to determine if you are an actual suitor or just playing around. An actual suitor is more liken to their customs and traditional relationships in the Philippines. My personal recommendation is to write no more then 4 at a time and see what comes back. If need be write a letter of introduction to 4 more and wait a time for replies. Remember to take your time. You are looking for a relationship that is going to last a life time

 

   You also need to know they are often times flooded with responses. Their email accounts over flow and stop accepting Email or they have found some one of interest and are communicating with them exclusively. Especially do not ask if they are a virgin as I hear about this time and time again. The insult and response is almost always the same, “Good Bye”

 

 

 

 

Important information for Internet Romance

 

  My advice to a close friend I and my wife introduced to his now fiancé is this. If you really like this girl and you seriously wish to pursue this relationship. Then your main objective right now should be communication. By what ever means you wish to use, which ever works the best for you and your girl? Then you need to work on it until you can fully understand her

 

  The cyber age has hit the Philippines and in a big way. Most however do not own their own computer at home but rather use the services of an Internet Café which are located every where through out the Philippines

 

  Text messaging is also all the rage in the Philippines as the most prized possession of the average Filipina is her cell phone. Air time charges in comparison to the average Filipina’s expenditures are very excessive. Most of the use of cell phones is limited to text messaging for this reason. One of the most reliable Free software programs that allows text messaging from your home computer to the Philippines is Chikka

 

 

 

 

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