The Wayback Machine -

    Request A Free Consultation
    Name:Phone #:Age:E-mail address:
    Country:Counseling type:M/F Preference:
    - Or call toll free 1-888-9-TOLTEX

  • Depression

    There are many resources available on the internet for the purpose of understanding depression. Unfortunately, there are just as many that can lead to misunderstanding it. Professionals in any science or discipline can be opinionated and guard their particular ideas very carefully; psychologists and psychiatrist can sometimes be especially guilty of this. At Toltex, we believe that our responsibility to our clients and the reading public involves educating and promoting insight – but without forcing one or another view upon people. Depression has many things in common from person to person, but is as varied as the number of people who might experience it. And nearly everyone experiences some degree of depression during his or her life. Between one in four women and one in ten men will have depression severe enough to make a significant impact on their quality of life. It is only right that we try and share what we have learned, in order that you might be better prepared to deal with your own depression.

    Depression is a part of living and responding to life

    Many psychological disorders involve some aspect of depression. Whatever else depression is, it is also the general suffering that comes from life just not feeling right; our body, mind and emotions being out of tune as a result of stress, illness or ongoing suffering. All emotions are related, like notes on a piano, the colors that look different next to one another. They make up the unique spectrum of our experience, and the even more unique feeling of each time and place in our life. Depression is, among other things, the impact of emotions and experiences that have weighed too heavily upon us, burdened our body and spirit, left us empty or unable to feel like we can make a difference anymore, to ourselves or others.

    Some versions of depression have a type of sad beauty to them. How strange – that sadness, even misery, can feel meaningful, even have a bizarre pleasure about them. Often, this is because of the rich combination of emotions that were involved in the problems that led to our own depression. Lost love; the life for which we are yearning but cannot reach; the sense of a childhood left behind, or pleasures not fully sought. The beauty of life is often tied up in the suffering in the strangest ways.

    Depression can feel like being shut off to life, and to ourselves

    Then there is the depression that is more like numbness. Some awful wisdom of the mind and body is trying to keep us from feeling. We cannot quite get a handle on who we are. Our memories would hurt too much, as would our fears of what life might never be. Just like being in shock after an accident, we are shut down, closed for business; walking around sadly, barely noticing things and feeling just a few things all too intensely.

    Depression can be a sense that we can make no difference

    Next there is the depression that goes hand in hand with anxiety. Anxiety is usually an aspect of depression; it can be thought of as not even a specific emotion, but the fearful, “can’t handle it, afraid, but I don’t know of what” aspect of a life that feels like too much to manage. The experience of helplessness is a major part of depression. Some of us have learned to see ourselves as being unable to make much of a difference in our own lives, vulnerable, sitting ducks for fate or the ill will of others. We are depressed and anxious because we feel like we have no tools and no armor, and for whatever reason, unable to expect help from others. Or too desperate for help from others. Depression is, in this case, all about a world in which we have come to feel powerless.

    Depression is a fire that burns us from within

    Depression is also said to be about “anger turned inward”. This idea is very useful. If the person in the last paragraph has felt like a victim, unable to fight back effectively if at all, then the anger at those who have done the hurting, and those who did not help, has nowhere to go. The sadness at a life of negative expectations, negative thoughts and a lack of pleasure and purpose is bad enough. Add to that the idea that anger is like a fire in a fireplace with a closed chimney; the heat and smoke spoil the home. A person with predominantly this form of depression might end up feeling as though, with such negative thoughts and feelings, he or she doesn’t deserve to even try to be happy. So this person will add their own punishment to the punishment they have already endured.

    Depression is a fact of the body

    And then there is the old-fashioned “chemical imbalance”. It is a shame that careless doctors and greedy advertisers have abused the fact that our chemistry plays an important role in depression, as in all emotions, as it does in digestion, loving, hating, sweating, breathing, enjoying ice cream…you get the picture. Some people do have problems with their chemical makeup that contributes to depression in a major way. Bi-polar disorder, or manic-depression, is often traceable to particular chemical flaws in the brain. However, the interaction between experience, thinking, feeling and even nutrition and sunlight on the one hand, and the chemistry of the brain, is so complex that to say that one particular factor is the main one in the depression of a particular person is just bad science, bad medicine, and doesn’t belong in this century. The fact is, the right medications can be very helpful and even necessary for some people; but medicine is seldom enough. People improve their lives, rise up from their depression, by relating, reflecting, experiencing, learning, surviving, loving… there are no magic pills. Good pills, yes. But living well, with other people and in a productive relationship with oneself, is the best medicine. In study after study, researchers find that the combination of medicine and counseling is far stronger than either one alone. Some people can make the change without medicine – but that is between you and your doctor. We’ll offer you voice-to-voice attention that is fuller and more respectful than you will find from many professionals.

    Phone counseling can be very helpful for depression

    If you call us, at 1-888-9-TOLTEX, we will do our very best to offer you a good experience, respect, assistance in coping, reaching understanding and making different choices for your life, based on your unique life and personality. The first call is free. There will only be a second call if you want one. That’s not a depressing thought, is it?