About
Me
Well, I finally went and got that boob job I've been talking about. LOOK
AT ME NOW!! Whoooo-hoooooooo!! Damn, I'm HOT! Yep, that's me. The witch
with the biggest boobs. As a matter of fact, I won the BIGGEST BOOBS award
in the Guinness Book of World Records! I just wanted to mention that so I
could get search engine hits for people searching for that phrase. (It
worked too!) lol.
Okay, okay... no need to write and tell me the boob job went a little too
far and that maybe I just have just gotten a DD cup. They aren't REALLY my
boobs. I better be glad too because I have a back condition. That was just
a funny picture I took and stuck my face on. Pretty good huh? Hey, I'm a
decent graphics editor. If you want your own face superimposed on someone
else's body, holler at me. I'll probably charge you for it, but you'll
have a hell of a picture when I'm done. Or I can touch up your pictures
and take your wrinkles and zits off and smooth out your face. Then, when
you try to pick up guys on the Internet, you can actually use a picture of
yourself (touched-up) instead of finding some hot girl like me and using
my picture, lol. Oh yeah, here's what the page said before I added my new
picture above....
My name is
Heather, and I'm 30 years old and very happily married (read: "don't stalk
me, we have a gun.") I'm a witch, but not Wiccan. Just a regular
kitchen witch. I'm New Age too, and like to read about topics including
Paranormal, Metaphysical, After-life, and Reincarnation.
I have a
web design business called Heather's Web Design
and Hosting, where I offer web design, hosting, and domain
registration. I am also offering Pagan Web
Hosting now (because I'm getting tired of regular boring businesses
and want some cool customers.) ;)
This is a current site, not
something left on a free server from 1996. I used to have my email address
right here, but you wouldn't believe the number of idiotic emails I get.
So read the site before you email me a question about witchcraft. Really,
just read it. And no, witches can't fly, and objects don't float, and
there is no spell that will give you 12 wishes granted at the stroke of
midnight. You aren't Cinderella, and no spell will make you look like some
girl from The Real World Las Vegas. It's not happening. Think
realistically. If you write me some crazy shit like that, your email WILL
end up on the Spells are NOT
Miracles page. That is some funny reading for all of you who are sane
and like to laugh at other people's dumb questions.
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