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About Me
 

I win the Guinness World Record for BIGGEST BOOBS!! I BET you I'll get search engine hits from that phrase. lmao!

Well, I finally went and got that boob job I've been talking about. LOOK AT ME NOW!! Whoooo-hoooooooo!! Damn, I'm HOT! Yep, that's me. The witch with the biggest boobs. As a matter of fact, I won the BIGGEST BOOBS award in the Guinness Book of World Records! I just wanted to mention that so I could get search engine hits for people searching for that phrase. (It worked too!) lol.

Okay, okay... no need to write and tell me the boob job went a little too far and that maybe I just have just gotten a DD cup. They aren't REALLY my boobs. I better be glad too because I have a back condition. That was just a funny picture I took and stuck my face on. Pretty good huh? Hey, I'm a decent graphics editor. If you want your own face superimposed on someone else's body, holler at me. I'll probably charge you for it, but you'll have a hell of a picture when I'm done. Or I can touch up your pictures and take your wrinkles and zits off and smooth out your face. Then, when you try to pick up guys on the Internet, you can actually use a picture of yourself (touched-up) instead of finding some hot girl like me and using my picture, lol. Oh yeah, here's what the page said before I added my new picture above....

Am I a cute witch, or what?

My name is Heather, and I'm 30 years old and very happily married (read: "don't stalk me, we have a gun.") I'm a witch, but not Wiccan. Just a regular kitchen witch. I'm New Age too, and like to read about topics including Paranormal, Metaphysical, After-life, and Reincarnation.

I have a web design business called Heather's Web Design and Hosting, where I offer web design, hosting, and domain registration. I am also offering Pagan Web Hosting now (because I'm getting tired of regular boring businesses and want some cool customers.) ;)

This is a current site, not something left on a free server from 1996. I used to have my email address right here, but you wouldn't believe the number of idiotic emails I get. So read the site before you email me a question about witchcraft. Really, just read it. And no, witches can't fly, and objects don't float, and there is no spell that will give you 12 wishes granted at the stroke of midnight. You aren't Cinderella, and no spell will make you look like some girl from The Real World Las Vegas. It's not happening. Think realistically. If you write me some crazy shit like that, your email WILL end up on the Spells are NOT Miracles page. That is some funny reading for all of you who are sane and like to laugh at other people's dumb questions.

 

 

Heather at Disney.

That's me in a pile of Pooh.;)

June 2002

 


Sweet Love. Isn't marriage great?

Me and my loving husband Ron. :) He is so kind to me.
Here are the poems he wrote for me.

 

keywords - witches, spells, book of shadows, ramblings, poems, poetry, funny links, articles, diary, witchcraft, diamond pagan jewelry

Me dressed for Halloween (a couple of years ago). I'm "Stevie-Witch". That's a mix between Stevie Nicks and a witch. Please note the Stevie-ish shawl and the ever-so-witchy hat. My younger sister is dressed like a gypsy (yay for her!) but I can't put her picture online. :(

 

MY HUSBAND!!! MINE MINE MINE! BITE ME!

I have the best husband (haha) and you don't! I love you Ron. :)
The most recent picture of me and my honey-bun.
Click to enlarge.

 

 

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