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My Exotic Vacations and Travels
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Here I am in Jamaica. What a beautiful place it was. The sunset was gorgeous that night. Then we went out dancing and partying with the locals. I had those cute little braids put all over my hair, and this odd little Jamaican dude offered me a "cigarette." They really have some weird cigarettes! Not like Marlboro Lights at ALL! I got a nicotine rush that lasted all night! I wish they sold those kind of cigarettes in the United States.
Here I am standing in front of the Eiffel Tower in France. To witness the historical sites in Europe is just outstanding. I highly recommend getting out that way when you get a chance.

I actually met a guy named, what else... Pierre! I told him how in America we think every French guy is named Pierre, and he only proved to me that our assumptions are correct. He said to me, "Parlez vous Francais?" and I responded, "Diddy piddly poo!" Then he kissed me, and we shared a romantic adventure I'll never forget. Thanks Pierre!

This, of course, is Tokyo. The Japanese people were so kind and helpful to us during our visit. As you can see in the picture, it was raining and I had no umbrella. A few minutes after this was taken, a local woman came up and offered me her umbrella.  She said, "Oya lotta iyako. (Here is an umbrella for you, pretty lady.)" I told her, "Inkatokwa oy karate. (I like to eat mashed potatoes.)"  What sweet people!

 
Here I am on the surface of Mars. That was such an interesting experience! As you can see by the shadows in the picture, it was getting rather late when this photo was taken. Let me tell you, it gets very COLD at night on Mars. I was forced to change out of my favorite green tank top and into something a bit warmer.

There behind me you can see the Rover. It is getting samples of the Mars surface for all you Earthlings. I suppose Mars would be a decent place to live, from what I've seen. We just need to put up a few shopping malls and houses. Otherwise, I think it's pretty well habitable. I'm sure it won't be too much longer before we will have regular space tours.  Then everyone (not just special people like me) will get to see the beauty and splendor Mars has to offer.

 
Here I am sitting in the living room of the home I lived in in my past life. It was one of my favorite places to visit before my current incarnation.

So there I was, sitting in my old living room, quietly haunting the house. Then, all of a sudden, the lady of the house, Marie, came up and took my photo! Can you believe the nerve of her? Well, let me tell you, I wasn't quiet after that! I was rattling chains in the attic for three nights! They better watch who they're messing with. I'm no ordinary ghost! Ordinary ghosts haven't been to MARS!

Ok, here's something pretty funny (in case that shit above wasn't cute enough for you.) This is a serious email I received from someone:

12/26/03 "....I saw your exotic vacations, can i ask were you really in your past life? Also were you really on Mars? Well I hope to hear from you Heather!!!"

Yeah, that's funny. She also put the same thing in my guestbook. You can read all my stupid emails here.

 

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