Mortgage Pirate - Home Mortgage

Home Mortgage - All Striped Like A Six Legged Zebra From The Port Of Galilee.

In the Mortgage Pirate's endless quest fer the best home mortgage, I've come cross some mortgages that would turn yer head backward and yer tongue upside down and set yer hands to twitchin' like a merry jig on speed. Its a big, beautiful cybersea, filled with all manner of beasts, and this loan palette paints a pretty picture to be sure, one where ye can view yer loans from all angles and hues. Prepare yerself for a flogging, knave! A lashing of home mortgage information!

Avast! Here be options fer a home mortgage.

What type 'o home mortgage yee be neeedin' fer yer home? i've sailed all about these hellish cyberseas and if there be one thing i fear, its a dearth of opportunity for a mortgage. Rock and a hard place, that be the word, but good luck fer you there be no rocks in the sea:

there be an initial home mortgage fer you to buy yer own home, be it fixed or adjustable, insured or no, interest only, zero down; you name it, you'll find it.
there be a refinance home mortgage fer the times when a devil lender be loanin you bunk loans in the first place, and ye be finding better rates with another pilferin' Pete. Ye been warned here first about a mortagge refinance, lest the rates ye be gettin' be better by 2%, yer costs for refinancin' may not be compensated by lower rates! You've been warned, and may ye Gods have mercy upon yer borrowin' soul.
Once yer ownin a home, a second home mortgage can be takin' out to perform all manner of land lubber devilry: consolidate debts, buy a prairie schooner, or purchase the finest spices this side of Jakarta. Its yer home mortgage after all, you can spends it at yer will, but ye best be remeberin' to pay it back, or else the dogs be commin' to feed upon yer debtors flesh. Aye.

There be other home mortgage options, a whole horde of different loans, and ye must be diligent and complete in your hoem mortgage search. Takin' out the wrong loan can be curtains for your finances, and no matter how big nor bad a pirate ye may be there's nary enough grog in the whole of New Jersey to cure your sorrows when ye be finding out yer goin' to the poorhouse.

Three cheers fer the Pirate: Hiphip, Hiatus!

In all yer home loans, ye must be rememberin' one thing: never let yer guard down and never go on hiatus. Playing ghost on yer home loans may seem only a fools game, but yer timbers's be shivered if you knew what I known, and knew how many people go avoidin' theeir loans and get sent to the bone yard of credit from here till doomsday. Amongst the proper class, that number be about one in a hundred. Amongst ye paupers? One in twenty go losin' their homes. Its a dangerous business, home loans, but a great one nonetheless. If ye works hard and swabs yer financial decks yer home free to the lands of wind and sunshine till Kidd makes his move, which he ain't done yet. But if yer lazy, and thinks ye can get away without workin', why you'll be run through faster than you can say "Mortgage Pirate! Help!" I don't helps the lazy, and none aboard the Fiscal Revenge would dream of missin' a payment again. We're lost souls, doomed to the depths of credit darkness, and only throug out piracy can you gentryfolk sail safe!

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