Yes. All of them. It's been an amazing year for
Stanford sports. I mean, the Potsdam Conference was a bit of a bore, but certainly Gehrig's
retirement speech made up for it.
Well, technically, I guess
we would have to say no. It's all a natural high we are on. Nothing synthetic
or home brewed. Just pure adrenaline. Ok, maybe the occasional smack, but
that's it. Really.
Do you have
to be a professionally trained dancer?
Unlike Elizabeth Berkeley's
Showgirls' character, you, luckily enough, do not have to be a professional
dancer, nor do you have to do lap dances. We don't even ask that you have
any rhythm.
No, not at all. No, for real. Put that back in your pants.
The whole application and "tryout"
process is going to be pretty fun and relaxing. No need to get naked, paint
your body, and wrestle any greased animals here. We're just out to have
fun. So, don't panic, it's all straight forward. If you want to bribe us,
we won't complain, but it's really unnecessary, honest.
What is the time
commitment? At what sports do you yell?
We yell at all home football,
basketball (men's and women's) and women's volleyball games. Fall is filled
with football on Saturdays, women's volleyball and early-season basketball
games. Winter is usually Thursday and Saturday night basketball games, with occasional gymnastics
meets to break up the everlasting futility of it all. We also tend to show up at other random sporting events at random times. In addition, we travel
to tournaments for all our regular sports, harass spectators at many Band events
and meet frequently off the court. The time commitment is intense but doable;
all we ask is that you
are dedicated and take the job seriously.
Do we get to hang with the
Dollies? Heck yeah. There is plenty of QDT (Quality Dollie Time). Sometime
we even invite them to join in on a little Team Spoon action. We love the
Dollies. They love us, except for White Russian who they think is kinda sketchy, but they hang with him anyway.
This is a tough question.
Technically, we are part of the Athletic Department, but we are considered
"Accessories" to the Band - like the Dollies, the Tree, the halftime announcer,
the luggage boys, etc. We travel with the Band, play with the Band, hang
out/party with the Band - all the fun without really any of the rehearsal. We do have a liaison at the
Athletic Department that helps us out.
Being on the sidelines of the best
athletic teams in the country, free of charge. Free uniforms, free trips to
exotic tournament locales like Westwood and Norfolk, VA, free donuts before
football games. But the intangibles are best - a lot of respect, a little
recognition, and maybe even some lovin'.
Don't use that tone of voice
with me, young man. Our uniforms are meant to be comfy yet stylish,
festive yet not gaudy, fun but not toolish. Hey, we get them for free,
so who is going to complain, right? We wanted to steer clear of anything
that looked remotely like a "cheerleader." We don't do lifts, we
don't use little yell funnel things, and we never do anything that takes
organization - no reason to look like we do.
What do you
look for in a yell leader besides dashing good looks?
Besides good looks? Not much. We want people who love sports, love Stanford, are fun, social, friendly
people who like to have a good time. A love for making an ass out of yourself in
front of thousands of people is necessary. Maturity is a plus, so is humor, responsibility,
and amazing people skills. Geesh, sounds like we're hiring for RAs or
something.
Depending on who you ask,
there are about ten yellers on Team Yell. Half are leaving or falling
off the face of the earth, leaving about five returning next year
(Adam, Drew, Sasha, Tiff, and Vaman). We're looking to end up with
ten again. That leaves you with five spots.
Stocks, mostly. But it’s a diverse portfolio with bonds, mutual funds, CD’s, and so on. Oh, you mean where is the meeting? The Arrillaga Green. The one where the bonfire was. If you don’t know, ask.
What in God's name goes on a yell
leading application?
The process won't be painful - it's
just a quick written application, so we know you actually attend the school, and
then a couple rounds of interviews where you'll demonstrate your vast wit. Oh,
also, we'll be driving you to Tijuana in the trunk of our car and using your
teeth to open beer bottles. But nothing else tricky.