Writer of the Month - November 2005
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Getting Kids Motivated

By Michelle Donaghey

    Susan Gooch, a mother of  two children, found the easiest solution to have her children develop other interests besides playing videogames was a bit extreme.

    “I never had a system in the house. Why have it? It doesn’t help at all,” says Susan, an elementary school teacher.

    While her choice may be exceptional, it worked.

    Let’s face it. After working all day, most of us would rather just allow our kids to watch television or sit with a controller in hand battling aliens. We are plain bushed, tired and tuckered out, and so are they. But letting our children be addicted to different mediums really isn’t the best thing for them, or for us and our relationships in the family.

   But what is a parent to do?

   Parents can start by “being a role model” says the American Academy of Pediatrics. “Watching TV can become a habit for your child. Help your child find other things to do with his or her time, such as playing, reading, activities with family, friends or neighbors or learning a hobby, sport, instrument or an art,” says the AAP that notes that “limiting your own TV viewing and choosing programs carefully will help your child to do the same.”

   While it sounds easy, it isn’t. But by small steps and moving on to bigger ones, you can help your child find something else to do besides vegging out in front of a screen.

Limit!

   First of all, as a parent you should be limiting your child’s use of TV, movies and video and computer games to NO MORE than one to two hours a day, says the AAP that says that you should definitely NOT have the TV one during homework! The telephone should also be included in the list for some children!

   After you have set limits, take all children’s televisions out of their rooms and move video game systems where they are not a constant reminder of their “loss.” Children who have TVs in their rooms watch more television than those who must “share” a set with the rest of the family. They were also found to be heavier according to a study done in New York done by the Supplemental Nutrition Program for Women, Infants and Children.               

   Don’t expect your kids to be able to resist playing with their videogame systems, yacking on the phone with their friends or watching mindless cartoons or talk shows on television on their own. As a parent, you will have to do some legwork.

  “Moderation (in use of media) is not enough in itself, nor is talking about other activities. The best way to keep your children active without playing games or watching TV is to do things with them whenever you can, have a relationship with your children,”says parent, David Cary Walker, of Kurtis, 10, Rebekah, 6, Samantha, 4 and Jared, 2 who says he plays basketball regularly with his son who enjoys the sport..            

Talk! 

   The second step is to “talk to your child about their interests. Plan ahead so you can spend quality time with them to talk. If you’re too busy or tired to spend time with your children, explain the reason and arrange another time,” says the National PTA.

   Ask questions about school and observe what your child says and how your child reacts. No matter what they are enthusiastic about talking about,  take note of it. The best way to keep them away from electronic distractions and to get them to learn and have fun and to find other interests is to find out what their “attractions” are!

   Ask questions about school and observe what your child says and how your child reacts. No matter what they are enthusiastic about talking about,  take note of it. The best way to keep them away from electronic distractions and to get them to learn and have fun is to find out what their “attractions” are!

Help them get into...

READING

   Just as watching television is a habit, so is reading. “Reading for a family should be fun, should be a choice and should not be a chore or something that a child dreads,” says Sandy Krost, a Children’s Librarian.

   “Families need to turn the TV off and take just a half hour to read. It all comes down to the parents. Make the time enjoyable and read to your child even if you have to. Kids even from the grades of one to three still enjoy it when Mom and Dad reads to them,” says Krost who says that books on tape are a great alternative for those who do not want to read out of a book.

   Make sure that there are all kinds of materials for your child to read including magazines. “Not all reading takes place between the covers of a book. Some of the most lively, informative and entertaining writing can be found on the colorful pages of magazines,” says Reading is Fundamental.

   Have a family library where there are different kinds of books and materials they can read a leisure. Try to get some books that are on subjects they are currently studing at school. Krost says that when her kids were small, she started by bringing a variety of books home from the library, leaving them on the table with no suggestions or urging comments from her about looking at them. “Eventually a few weeks later when they were due, I would have to take out my list and ask them where particular titles were,” notes Krost happily saying it “worked well to get them to read”.

   Go to a bookstore and when your budget allows it, let your child pick out a book or two. RIF suggests that parents subscribe children to special interest magazines that “keep kids reading all year long.”

SPORTS

   For some kids, school is just something they have to do before they go to practice. For others, they prefer bouncing a tennis ball on the driveway or against the wall. Either way, as a parent you can help to nurture their interests.

   If they play a particular team sport such as baseball, suggest that they write letter to their favorite players and ask for pictures, articles or autographs. Have them keep a journal and a statistic book on wins and losses which will not only help in their English skills, but will also help them in math!

   For the kids that would rather bounce a ball alone and dream, that is great, too! Encourage them to learn more about tennis or basketball and star players on the Internet or at the library. (Supervision is encouraged on the Internet.)

   Be sure that as a parent you show interest in their athletic hopes and dreams. If you see something written in the newspaper or in a magazine, show them! Share time together watching a game or going to a game- and then keep track of all of the stats and players!

  “Encourage your children to be continue to be active or even get more active by playing with them outside. Invite them to go shoot baskets or go throw a ball at the park. Children learn by example,” says Tracy Tredway, a Elementary Principal.

HOBBIES, INSTRUMENTS, SCIENCE

    Does your child enjoy cooking, playing his saxophone or drawing  characters? If so, work to encourage him or her to develop hidden talents!

    Chef Monique Jamet Hooker, who travels around the country teaching student French cooking seminars, says that children who learn about cooking at classes and with their parents “learn teamwork, learn skills and learn a culture. What you teach might not impact them now, but it is like any other learning experience. You cannot look at the reward now. It may be years down the road when they decide to try one of the recipes (they have cooked with you) then.”

    If you don’t have time to cook during the week with your child, plan for the weekend! During the week, he or she can plan, choosing an appropriate recipe and making a shopping list. While shopping, let your child compare prices and read labels which helps them in their math and reading. The actual cooking process will help your child learn to use measuring cups and spoons correctly and to learn fractions.

    Budding musicians should also be nurtured even if what they are playing doesn’t sound much like music to your ears! If they don’t enjoy practicing just the sheet music from school band, get out and purchase some sheet music. Look for contests locally if they would like to compete. Find out if there are any churches or groups that are looking for somewhat experienced players. Have family concerts, listening to the latest songs your child or children have learned, making them special with snacks or desserts they enjoy.

   Wanna-be artists love working with different materials and learning about different kinds of art. Visit a craft store and let your child look and point out something he or she would like, not something you would like to try! If cartoon characters are what he wants to draw, get books that will inspire him to try to make his own! Remember that it doesn’t mean you have to break the bank to do it either! Simplicity is the key- purchase a few paints and see whether watercolor painting is really something your daughter wants to do! Instead of purchasing books, check out art books from the library!

   Kids are always asking questions, some more than others. They want to know why the sky is blue, how seeds grow and how radios work. Parents often think that they need to have a degree in science to help their children, which isn’t true says the U.S. Department of Education, Office of Educational Research and Improvement.

  “Everyday is filled with opportunities to learn science- without expensive chemistry sets or books...Together, parents and children can--

   - See how long it takes for a dandelion or rose to burst into full bloom; or

   - Watch the moon as it appears to change over the course of a month, and record the changes or

   - Guess why one of your plants is drooping.

   Scientific projects need not be messy or time consuming. Depending on your child’s age and interest, you have to choose by knowing your child. Some children enjoy collecting rocks and identifying them while others could care less. Let your child pick something they want to do, such as star gazing or making crystals. 

Allow for changing interests! 

                Always remember that as your child grows older, so can his or her interests. Be sure to accept changing interests expressed by your child(ren, grandchildren). Just because your daughter loves playing the piano now does not mean she will be continuing it well into her high school years! She might just find out that track and field is more fun as a teenager! Opportunities to learn and grow come in many different packages!