9) Grabbing the Browser – Visitor’s to your site will really get frustrated if you insist on resizing their browser window and disabling some of the menu features such as navigation and bookmarks. Go for maximum annoyance levels by adding some code that checks to see if the browser containing your page is the selected window, if it’s not then start flashing the taskbar and demand attention.
10) The Obscure Plug-in – This is one is one of the most effective ways of driving people from your site and one that every professional irritator should be armed with. Particular attention should be paid to ensuring that the plug-in is as large as possible and that it adds nothing to the content of the site. Rendering the page un-viewable until the hapless visitor to your site has downloaded and installed the plug-in can score bonus irritant points. Ensuring that the plug-in tries to install other useless features such as Yahoo and Google toolbars during the install can increase the level of irritant for the visitor further. Also by carefully choosing a plug-in that is practically impossible to uninstall without a degree in computer science will put your visitor into a four-letter outburst and vow never to return to your site.
11) The IE only page – We’re on the home straight now. With the increasing level of Firefox or alternative browser users, you can restrict the visitor count to your site and rid yourself of all that potential traffic by alienating them and making your site Internet Explorer viewable only. With one simple tactic you can chop a 15% (allegedly) of your site’s traffic. Simple, effective, beautiful.
12) The Dark Page – This is a favorite of old, but still an effective was to annoy any visitor to your site. It’s also arguably one of the simplest to implement. First you start by picking a really dark color for the page background. Often we find that a simple ‘black’ is very effective. Then step 2, deliberately pick a text color that makes the content practically impossible to read. We find that a bright red, green or yellow text on the black background has the fastest ‘turnaround’ time for a visitor hitting the ‘back’ button. This method of keeping your web-server from having to do much work can be further enhanced with a couple of minor tweaks to this tried and trusted technique. For instance you can pick a background picture such as a star field that will make the page impossible to read. Alternatively pick a text color that is only a few shades different from the background color ensuring that the viewer has to squint really hard at the screen in order to read your valuable content.
So that’s it. Our list of the most effective way to strip traffic from your site. Variations on a theme are always good. We suggest that you try and combine some of these tactics for the most effective way to annoy your visitor and make them leave your site. (Don’t forget to use the exit pop-under). Take care now and happy annoying…
Popularity: 100%
James Dam Says:
March 3rd, 2006 at 12:06 pmVisit James Dam
13. Splitting content into three pages when one will do.
Robert Aitchison Says:
March 3rd, 2006 at 12:34 pmVisit Robert Aitchison
Heh James you have that right, seems to be a popular trend these days, I think it maximizes advertising impressions. (though this site doesn’t seem to have any advertising so I don’t know what the deal is here)
Nick Says:
March 3rd, 2006 at 12:48 pmVisit Nick
James’ comment ftw
Silicon Cloud Says:
March 3rd, 2006 at 12:57 pmVisit Silicon Cloud
James’ comment is almost funnier than the article.
I never thought of that one when writing this.
Feeling somewhat embarrassed now.
Anshul Says:
March 3rd, 2006 at 2:15 pmVisit Anshul
I agree with the points in your article but with regards to placing music I am a for it. I feel that when you play a certain kinda music you help drive traffic towards your site by likeminded people and not just random users. This might take a little time but it has worked.
Eric Jordan Says:
March 3rd, 2006 at 2:17 pmVisit Eric Jordan
#13) Splitting up an article into 3 pages so that you increase your revenue from Google Ads.
nullset Says:
March 3rd, 2006 at 2:22 pmVisit nullset
yeah you really need music on myspace so you get caught broswing in class.
SirNuke Says:
March 3rd, 2006 at 2:26 pmVisit SirNuke
In case anyone cares, the reason many web developers make multiple pages when less will do is to increase the site’s appeal to older generations. People more accustomed to books, with only one screen length per page. It does annoy me though, and I would prefer having the option to switch between multiple and single pages.
Amed Says:
March 3rd, 2006 at 2:28 pmVisit Amed
I must say that i disagree with step 9, I dont find any harm in suggesting the preferred viewable resolution for your site, especially if it compiles with the standard ( 1024 * 768). I’v seen alot of professional site suggesting a resolution and It doesnt bother me.
dave Says:
March 3rd, 2006 at 2:31 pmVisit dave
doesn’t this page violate rule #5? or is it ok because it’s a fixed screen width that’s less than 800 px?
also:
#14: a database that can’t handle all your traffic.
Boobs Says:
March 3rd, 2006 at 2:31 pmVisit Boobs
How about pages that try and lock you in on their page by reloading a quick splash page and redirecting to the main content when a user trys to use the back button to navigate to where they originally came from.
Jonathan Chen Says:
March 3rd, 2006 at 2:34 pmVisit Jonathan Chen
One gripe that I have is that every time I want to advance to the next page, some kind of error with database connection shows up, forcing me to hit back and try repeatedly.
I got to the second page, but I can’t get to the third.
But I got to the second page on the third try so I know it’s possible.
But damn, it’s irritating.
(By the way, this is the 7th time I’ve attempted to submit this comment.)
Isaac Says:
March 3rd, 2006 at 2:34 pmVisit Isaac
Anshul, if you want to use music on a page, make sure the player functions are in an obvious place, no strange plug-in required, and MOST IMPORTANTLY it doesn’t play automatically. Let the user choose to play it, not choose to shut it off.
John Holmes Says:
March 3rd, 2006 at 2:34 pmVisit John Holmes
The broken links to Pages: 1 2 3 at the bottom of this page really irratated me.
simple plan Says:
March 3rd, 2006 at 2:36 pmVisit simple plan
Getting the following error message for each of these three pages. In some times multiple messages before page display.
pk_synths Says:
March 3rd, 2006 at 2:42 pmVisit pk_synths
Links don’t work because this site is getting Dugg. Wordpress only has a limited amount of requests it can handle before it craps out. Bookmark the URL and come back later.
-PK
Michael Savoy Says:
March 3rd, 2006 at 2:48 pmVisit Michael Savoy
James Dam Says:
March 3rd, 2006 at 12:06 pm
Visit James Dam
13. Splitting content into three pages when one will do.
====================================================
James Dam,
ROTF! Profoundly Inspirational!
Michael Savoy Says:
March 3rd, 2006 at 2:48 pmVisit Michael Savoy
James Dam Says:
March 3rd, 2006 at 12:06 pm
Visit James Dam
13. Splitting content into three pages when one will do.
====================================================
James Dam,
ROTF! Profoundly Inspirational!
Dave Says:
March 3rd, 2006 at 2:53 pmVisit Dave
This one had me chickling.. some good points that we sometimes forget or overlook. Thanks for reminding us!
rjfalcon Says:
March 3rd, 2006 at 2:59 pmVisit rjfalcon
Got the error too, but it worked when i tried again..
But nice article.. I’m thinking of making a site with every point.. And then count the visitors and the time they were on the site.
ooh..
Michael Curtis Says:
March 3rd, 2006 at 2:59 pmVisit Michael Curtis
QFT
#
James Dam Says:
March 3rd, 2006 at 12:06 pm
Visit James Dam
13. Splitting content into three pages when one will do.
Joe Says:
March 3rd, 2006 at 3:03 pmVisit Joe
13. Dividing a page into parts to maximize adsense
14. Not installing an adequate db caching system to handle spikes in traffic
:)
Militantplatypus Says:
March 3rd, 2006 at 3:07 pmVisit Militantplatypus
#15
The use of multiple frames and iframes to obscure code and or increase adsense revenue
#15b
When all those little frames are scrollable, making a page impossible to navigate
somebody Says:
March 3rd, 2006 at 3:11 pmVisit somebody
13 when trying to see the second page:
“Error establishing a database connection
This either means that the username and password information in your wp-config.php file is incorrect or we can’t contact the database server at localhost.
If you’re unsure what these terms mean you should probably contact your host. If you still need help you can always visit the WordPress Support Forums.”
Brad Johnson Says:
March 3rd, 2006 at 3:11 pmVisit Brad Johnson
It’s funny how #5 complains about fixed screen widths when this site itself violates that. I have a large monitor, why do you force the article text into table that will never resize to fill the width of my window? Specifying the width in pixels just ensures that those of us using large fonts on high-resolution displays will just have a harder time reading it.
It’s always been a pet peeve of mine that there are a ton of so-called “news” sites that also do this, often with so many ads that the “content” ends up in a ribbon down the screen… The internet isn’t a newspaper, why would you format it like one?
subcultist Says:
March 3rd, 2006 at 3:13 pmVisit subcultist
You forgot:
“Line every available spot with google ads and other affiliate program nonsense”
FrozenDice Says:
March 3rd, 2006 at 3:18 pmVisit FrozenDice
Anyone up to make this ‘hell’ page?
14. A page with repeated alert popups, which you CAN’T leave until you go through them all.
15. Popunders that try to hide AND use flash to speak to you and convince you to signup for their product.
16. On my mac and some other processor challenged machines it takes forever when you hit back for the page to go back when a flash or java applet is open. Combine this with crappy music, porn ads.
NOT POSTING!
Mark Says:
March 3rd, 2006 at 3:26 pmVisit Mark
Fixed width sites aren’t a problem as long as it stays below a standard width. 800 pixels or less shouldn’t be a problem for anyone. Brad, it is difficult to do a decent design for a web page using dynamic width. More often than not they just end up looking like crap. It’s better to have a fixed width design that is small enough to fit on a low-resolution screen.
Richard Says:
March 3rd, 2006 at 3:34 pmVisit Richard
#13 Have some blinking text scattered throughout the page. It makes it nearly impossible to read the noblinking text. This user runs from such sites. BTW when I encounter a page with dark-brown text on a black background I switch the page style to “No Style” (in Firefox).
rob Says:
March 3rd, 2006 at 3:36 pmVisit rob
The skinny width is irritating, but not nearly back-button irritating. I have to say I’m guilty of it too. Did you ever notice that the only sites with perfect liquid CSS layouts are invariably about CSS?
octagon Says:
March 3rd, 2006 at 3:38 pmVisit octagon
Putting a ‘digg this story’ link in your webpage just so you can try to collect enough diggs to make the podcast.
Kevin Says:
March 3rd, 2006 at 3:43 pmVisit Kevin
Um…this site has a fixed width
syukton Says:
March 3rd, 2006 at 3:44 pmVisit syukton
3) Ban Right Clicks
Workaround: – Put focus in the frame you wish to right-click in (or optionally, tab to the item you wish to right-click on) – Press Shift+F10 to open the context menu, or press the context menu button on your keyboard. (to the right of the Windows key on the right side of the keyboard, generally)
Also, to open in a new window in IE, you can hold Shift whilie clicking. To open in a new tab in Firefox, you can middle-click or Ctrl+click
I used to get annoyed by the disabling of the right mouse button, but I stopped being annoyed when I realised how dumb it is to trap the mouse event instead of the opening of the menu. Now it gives me a little bit of a chuckle every time.
Jonah Dempcy Says:
March 3rd, 2006 at 3:46 pmVisit Jonah Dempcy
SomeLlama Says:
March 3rd, 2006 at 3:49 pmVisit SomeLlama
In response to #3, I always laugh when i see sites that do this because they are trying to “protect” their content but, 1. right click still works in firefox, and 2. you can always just veiw source and copy the full url to a new window which will load the content unprotected (or custom craft an html page yourself on your desktop with the full url as a downloadable link and leech the content, i do this for wmv and swf objects for offline viewing).
for #12 I like to hit CTRL+A (windows?) so all of the text is selected, you’d be surprised how the most horrid text color choices and be fixed with this approach.
And finally to address a previous post:
“Amed Says:
March 3rd, 2006 at 2:28 pm
Visit Amed
I must say that i disagree with step 9, I dont find any harm in suggesting the preferred viewable resolution for your site”
Actually, any decent website coder can make his website resizeable to the open window, so no matter what the resolution, the text will resize appropriately in the given space.
Thanks,
Some Llama
SomeLlama Says:
March 3rd, 2006 at 3:53 pmVisit SomeLlama
In response to #3, I always laugh when i see sites that do this because they are trying to “protect” their content but, 1. right click still works in firefox, and 2. you can always just veiw source and copy the full url to a new window which will load the content unprotected (or custom craft an html page yourself on your desktop with the full url as a downloadable link and leech the content, i do this for wmv and swf objects for offline viewing).
for #12 I like to hit CTRL+A (windows?) so all of the text is selected, you’d be surprised how the most horrid text color choices and be fixed with this approach.
And finally to address a previous post:
“Amed Says:
March 3rd, 2006 at 2:28 pm
Visit Amed
I must say that i disagree with step 9, I dont find any harm in suggesting the preferred viewable resolution for your site”
Actually, any decent website coder can make his website resizeable to the open window, so no matter what the resolution, the text will resize appropriately in the given space.
Thanks,
Some Llama
Jake Says:
March 3rd, 2006 at 3:57 pmVisit Jake
How about not proofreading your blog entries for typos, misspellings, grammar mistakes and flat out incorrect usages of words (add’s?).
Pathetic.
RP Says:
March 3rd, 2006 at 3:59 pmVisit RP
Fonts..Fonts..Fonts…
using hard to read font types or using italisized and/or very small Font sizes. I hate it when sites use small Fonts. That is very annoying
SomeLlama Says:
March 3rd, 2006 at 4:02 pmVisit SomeLlama
In response to #3, I always laugh when i see sites that do this because they are trying to “protect” their content but, 1. right click still works in firefox, and 2. you can always just veiw source and copy the full url to a new window which will load the content unprotected (or custom craft an html page yourself on your desktop with the full url as a downloadable link and leech the content, i do this for wmv and swf objects for offline viewing).
for #12 I like to hit CTRL+A (windows?) so all of the text is selected, you’d be surprised how the most horrid text color choices and be fixed with this approach.
And finally to address a previous post:
“Amed Says:
March 3rd, 2006 at 2:28 pm
Visit Amed
I must say that i disagree with step 9, I dont find any harm in suggesting the preferred viewable resolution for your site”
Actually, any decent website coder can make his website resizeable to the open window, so no matter what the resolution, the text will resize appropriately in the given space.
Thanks,
Some Llama
orangeu Says:
March 3rd, 2006 at 4:06 pmVisit orangeu
13. typos
Guru Says:
March 3rd, 2006 at 4:18 pmVisit Guru
You may want to delete the commenter who inserted a million non-breaking spaces into the entry to kick everything down. You may want to check out Jakob Nielsen or Steve Krug. One of them posted a very similar top ten list several years ago. I guess little has changed in the web design world if this is still getting dugg by people.
Ollie Says:
March 3rd, 2006 at 4:26 pmVisit Ollie
Another annoyance is unnecessarily splitting content across three pages when one would have sufficed.
Quartz Mountain Says:
March 3rd, 2006 at 4:33 pmVisit Quartz Mountain
Publishing a list like this is a lot like correcting other people’s grammar; it becomes an invitation for criticism of your own shortcomings. The “fixed-width” complaint is especially amusing since this site violates it, but a really think you were talking about sites with a fixed width greater than 800px.
Fixed width layouts are here to stay until all of the major browsers support “max-width” properly, then I expect will see a real increase in fluid layouts.
Most of your list is dead on. I’ll visit again if you promise to put the next article on a single page:)
Michael Says:
March 3rd, 2006 at 4:37 pmVisit Michael
5) Fixed Screen Widths
I paid $700 for a beautiful 20 inch widescreen monitor only to find that just about every website (including this one) restricts the width of the page.
Tom R. Says:
March 3rd, 2006 at 4:38 pmVisit Tom R.
Simple question, why does your website allow scrolling to the right (where there is no content)...
Rodrigo Muniz Says:
March 3rd, 2006 at 4:43 pmVisit Rodrigo Muniz
A great text! But Tom, he really forget the horizontal scroll bar
bse Says:
March 3rd, 2006 at 5:00 pmVisit bse
Fixed screen widths? Yes, it really sucks if half of your browser is filled with border, like on this page.
HM2K Says:
March 3rd, 2006 at 5:05 pmVisit HM2K
Add un-nessiary horizontal scroll bars to your list :p
Scuddly Doobop Says:
March 3rd, 2006 at 5:26 pmVisit Scuddly Doobop
Leave your spam off digg ***&&, your site looks like &%$
Randy Says:
March 3rd, 2006 at 6:03 pmVisit Randy
13) Use apostrophes to warn readers that an ’s’ is coming up:
14) Make a broken layout that shows all the right-side stuff next to a huge blank space in the main area so readers have to scroll down an entire page to start reading something other than ads.
15) Refuse to implement or disable the “preview” button on your comment submission form.
Sigh.
[closes tab]
Chris Griffin Says:
March 3rd, 2006 at 6:05 pmVisit Chris Griffin
Yea, this is all common sense to all web professionals.
By the way, you are breaking your own rules, I have a horizontal scrollbar in Safari.
george leroy tirebiter Says:
March 3rd, 2006 at 6:07 pmVisit george leroy tirebiter
Flash.
So often used just to lock site visitors into sitting through something that is “clever” or “cute”, or worse yet, advertising.
rolandog Says:
March 3rd, 2006 at 6:10 pmVisit rolandog
Great writeup. Right-clicking is an essential part of browsing (how else are we supposed to quote a particular piece of the text?). Disabling that also avoids potential users that would LINK to the site (which, in a way, is the equivalent of turning your visitor into a Link Nazi… “No link for YOU!”)
D Says:
March 3rd, 2006 at 8:57 pmVisit D
“Ban Right Clicks”
You forgot also that savvy users also can get around this just by disabling JavaScript, so you aren’t even preventing anyone from stealing anything.
Skeuomorph Says:
March 3rd, 2006 at 9:14 pmVisit Skeuomorph
Jonah Dempcy says bump up to 1024×768 and don’t worry about the “5%” with 800×600.
Just because your monitor in wider than it is tall doesn’t mean everyone’s is. In fact, many people with the newest machines have a narrower screen than the 5% of old PCs Dempcy is ready to discard.
One of the fastest growing segments of computers is the Tablet PC. Thanks to the cost of touch screens, most tablets are based on a 1024×768 LCD. But a tablet is usually oriented in the other direction, making it 768×1024. So not only can a tablet user not surf a 1024 wide site, she also can’t surf a 800 wide site. Using Opera or IE7 and setting zoom
Mark Says:
March 3rd, 2006 at 9:27 pmVisit Mark
I design my pages to fit as low as 800×600 but mostly 1024×768.(any lower and I try to explain to the surfer how to get beyond 1999 through a wormhole.)
I center the main content since I personally surf as 1600×1200 and everthing looks whack, so small and on the left.
Mark Says:
March 3rd, 2006 at 9:29 pmVisit Mark
Oh yah, right clicking doesn’t slow you down anyway, grab the browser’s source code viewer and copy and paste away.
Ivan Minic Says:
March 4th, 2006 at 3:30 amVisit Ivan Minic
Great one
just me Says:
March 4th, 2006 at 5:41 amVisit just me
17) Use of tiny fonts for article text.
18) Use anything else than black as font color for the article’s text.
John tulus Says:
March 4th, 2006 at 8:12 amVisit John tulus
Get into the website and read….
“We are now part of Google….”
This is really irritating.
Bowser Says:
March 4th, 2006 at 8:43 amVisit Bowser
I don’t understand the complaint about fixed width designs. It’s incredibly hard to read text when the line lengths are too long. If you have a widescreen monitor at a very high resolution, you want the text to cover the entire width? That’s crazy. There is a reason why text is put in columns… so you can easily find the next line when you finish one.
LVV SEO Says:
March 4th, 2006 at 9:40 amVisit LVV SEO
This is pretty much a Nielsen retread.Here are all the originals for those who might have missed them. I’ve bolded the most interesting of the lists.
The ten very worst Web design mistakes of all time
Summary based on the main elements of the other lists.
Web design mistakes (1996)
Web design mistakes (1999)
Web design mistakes (2002)
With cartoons.
Web design mistakes (2003)
Web design mistakes (2005)
Good deeds in Web design
Top homepage usability guidelines
Most violated homepage guidelines
uncoy.com | la vie viennoise Says:
March 4th, 2006 at 11:25 amVisit uncoy.com | la vie viennoise
Web 2.0 Spam: Advanced Content Recycling | Manipulating Digg
Silicon Cloud
Kat Says:
March 4th, 2006 at 1:09 pmVisit Kat
This is a good summary of the most popular annoyances on web sites, but I was surprised at how many people were complaining about narrow screen widths. As one person above pointed out, it’s hard for human eyes to read long lines of text. Typewriters (yes, I just wrote “typewriters”) were designed with an 80-character width for readability, not just because of any limits in form factors.
Isn’t it part of the point of a 20-inch screen that you don’t have to maximise all your windows to see what you’re doing in them?
matt havener Says:
March 6th, 2006 at 9:02 pmVisit matt havener
uh.. pop ups? pop unders? this reads like a “12 ways to irritate your visitors” from 1999
Chico Says:
April 22nd, 2006 at 1:01 pmVisit Chico
#13) Splitting up an article into 3 pages so that you increase your revenue from Google Ads.