November 23, 1998

In this Issue:
The Case for the "Other" Girls

Plus...Brainy Is Beautiful And...Poetry Planet

A Portrait of A Teenage Girl

by Butterfly

When an adult is asked to define the characteristics of a teenage girl in our society words such as vanity, fashion conscious, boy crazed, or teen idol worshiper comes up. Why is that? Is this what society thinks of teenage girls? Why would society think of teenage girls as such shallow, popularity hungry people?

That's because magazines portray a harsh image of what every girl should try to achieve. Slim, beautiful, popular, fashionable and surrounded by boys. Unfortunately not every girl is like that. Not all of us is five foot, seven inches with a size three waist and only weighs eighty pounds. That's just impossible! Unless you were born that way, you can't be like that! Not all of us have flawless skin and pouty lips either. We aren't all blond-haired people with sky blue eyes. We can't change the way we are. We can't always buy the latest fashion or the newest make-up item. We are all born in different families with different economic circumstances and different backgrounds.

There are girls like me that walk into school everyday in a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt or a T-shirt. We're not in the so-called "popular" crowd and we pore endlessly over our studies and try our best to get A's. Some of us also do countless hours of volunteer work in our school and community.

Most of my friends are at least a year older than I am and kids love me. I'm also known as a nerd for being who I am. Why is that? Just because I don't wear flared bottom pants, tank tops, platform sandals and lots of make up like the other girls? Or is it because I don't care for parties that involved drinking and smoking?

I can't deny that I do buy some clothes to keep me in style. I do occasionally buy the odd magazine and I do on occasion wear make up. I do sometimes wish I was popular and was bold enough to buy the odd strappy tank top I eyed at Suzy Shires. But, I also have other things on my mind than that. I can't deny that girls that are popular are sometimes quite nice. I do have some popular friends. They are really sweet. I do want a boyfriend as much as the next girl. But the difference in what I want is I know what my goals are and where to draw the line.

I'm sure there are tons of girls that are just like me. We are all surrounded by stereotypical images in our lives. Some may not be facing the same problems I am. Their problems maybe the fact that they are a bit overweight or the fact that they don't care for boyfriends. I know I don't care about Leo or Titanic. Every girl is different and we should be able to be viewed as individuals. Just like not all boys are jocks that sit in front of the TV and watch sports all day. We all have different intellectual standard and standards for life in general.

So next time you see a girl that isn't exactly the would-be popularity queen of the school, take the time to know her. She may turn out to surprise you even more than you could ever have imagined and maybe you could find a best friend beyond her exterior! And for all you guys out there that look at only the girls that look like supermodels or that have blond hair and blue eyes, look again because sometimes the girl that sits by herself in class may be just the girl you're looking for. Or the one that makes quirky remarks at you may like you and you won't give her a chance because she's smart or not so pretty.

Give us other girls a chance!

What did you think about what Butterfly has to say? Are you a popular girl or are you more like Butterfly? Click here and tell us. Click here and tell us.

Poetry Planet

There they sit
with raven colored hair
gossiping about boys and sexual adventures
Though I sit here wondering whether I'll make it though
the day.
As they sit cool and collected in Calvin Klein jeans and T-shirts from the Gap
I shuffle my feet in my old battered shoes and yard sale pickups
I sit here dark and unknown to them
If I had their beauty would I be happy probably
But I still sit here in my old battered shoes

Jessica

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Understanding Me

Lost within the depths of my heart, entwined within my soul, there is a war waging.

A war within my being, against my being, for my being.

A war to find who I am, what I am, Why I am.

Slowly destroying me, yet making me stronger.

The war is dying, and so am I

Sara

Ask Planet Girl

Whoa, whoa, whoa! Back up! Are you saying you want to change his impression of you as a smart girl? Well, sorry, that's the last thing *I'm* going to help you figure out. Besides, how hard could that be? Just stare blankly ahead whenever he talks to you and then start giggling wildly. That's bound to make you look dumb....

In the meantime, let's talk about why on earth you would want to come off as less smart than you are. Do you think that guys only like dumb girls? That's a common misconception about boys. Or are you just afraid of coming off like a know-it-all?

First of all, not only do all the worthwhile guys like smart girls, but all the ones that don't like smart girls aren't worth your time anyway. If a girl is not a star in school, that's fine. People can be smart in lots of different ways. But it sounds like you're saying that you are afraid of scaring guys off by showing that your own strength is in your studies. That's bunk. If you're good at something, you need to be proud of it. And if your guy is a good guy, he's going to be proud of you. That talent could be schoolwork, it could be tap-dancing, it could be soccer or it could be making cherry pies. My point is, no matter what you're good at, that is a million times more important than impressing some guy.

However, there's no need to walk around bragging all day long about the A+ you got on the history test or about how you're some teacher's favorite kid or whatever. Believe me, if you excel at something, people will notice without you tooting your own horn all day long. So, in that sense you may be having good instincts if you're suggesting that you might come off as a show off. Guys, just like everyone else in the world, do not like to be shown up.

One good idea might be that if he starts asking or talking to you about your studies, or if the subject comes up, talk to him about it as much as you feel comfortable and then turn the tables. Start asking him about his hobbies and what he's good at. Then you don't have to worry about looking like a bragger.

That's a good tip on talking to boys, in any case. Be sure to talk about him a little more than you talk about yourself. If he's a good friend to you, he'll want to talk about you a little bit more than he talks about himself. Then it should all balance out.

Bottom line is, don't be embarrassed or worried about scaring him off with your mega-brain. For all you know he could be good at things you've never even heard of. And don't forget, he might even be better at school than you are!

Write back and tell us what happens!

Kayte

In the Mailbox

Last week we printed a short story. Here's what you had to say about it:

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Cool story. She certainly has a flair for teen stories! Keep writing!

C-ya
Jess

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Dear Erin,
You are a wonderful writer. This story was well written but, you could have expanded the ways that Rob was treated and given examples on ways that he was teased. You also have a very creative subject that could make a easy chapter book. The situation that Rob is in is a situation many teens go through and the easiest way to deal with it is to be yourself. What do you know, we think alike!

From,
Katie, 11

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I just wanted to say how much I liked that story. I think the positive message sent (in the story) was very helpful.

Thanx so much

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