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If y'all don't like it, eat a bowl of dicks! Thanks!

hello and welcome to our IM-abuse page.

15 abuses added Tuesday January 18th 2000
10 abuses added Thursday January 20th 2000
5 abuses added Saturday January 22nd 2000
5 abuses added Thursday February 9th 2000
6 abuses added Wednesday February 16th 2000
8 abuses added Friday February 18th 2000
7 abuses added Thursday February 24th 2000
7 abuses added Friday March 3rd 2000
10 abuses added Wednesday March 29th 2000
8 abuses added Tuesday April 4th 2000 
18 abuses added Wednesday April 12th 2000
13 abuses added Sunday May 14th 2000
9 abuses added Wednesday June 7th 2000
13 abuses added Wednesday July 19th 2000
3 abuses added Wednesday July 26th 2000
3 abuses added Monday November 27th 2000
13 abuses added Monday December 4th 2000
the last update was Monday December 4th 2000.

AH YES WELCOME TO THE IM-ABUSE WEBPAGE BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE INFINITE FOUR. AS PROMISED, THIS WEEK WE ARE OFFERING TO YOU SOME READER-SUBMITTED IM-ABUSES. IF YOU LOOK AT THE STACK OF WORDS RIGHT ABOVE, YOU MAY NOTICE THAT IN THE LONG AND ILLUSTRIOUS HISTORY OF IM-ABUSE THERE HAS NEVER BEEN A SINGLE READER SUBMISSION POSTED BEFORE. THAT IS BECAUSE UNTIL RECENTLY THIS PAGE WAS RUN BY THE THANTASTIC THREE, A GROUP OF HATEFUL, UNCARING SWINE WHO DIDN'T LIKE YOU. BUT NOW THAT WE (THE INFINITE FOUR) RUN THIS PAGE, WE WILL GIVE YOU WHAT YOU REALLY WANT -- WHICH IS IM-ABUSES CREATED BY YOU, THE FANS OF IM-ABUSE. 

AS YOU PROBABLY KNOW, THE THANTASTIC THREE, INVENTORS OF IM-ABUSE, SPENT HOURS AND HOURS OF TIME PERFECTING THEIR IM-ABUSE SKILLS. FOR EVERY 1 ABUSE THEY POSTED, THERE WERE 10 OR 12 DEEMED NOT GOOD ENOUGH AND DISCARDED. THE THREE MEMBERS OF THE THANTASTIC THREE EACH EVALUATED THE IM-ABUSES FOR MAXIMUM HUMOR CONTENT BEFORE THEY WERE POSTED TO THE SITE. BUT CLEARLY THIS IS A FLAWED WAY TO GO ABOUT THINGS. IF ANYONE HAD A GOOD STRATEGY FOR CREATING GOOD IM-ABUSES, IT IS YOU, THE READERS. YOUR STYLE OF SEEING THIS PAGE, SAYING "Hey, I could do that," DOING ONE IM-ABUSE AND THEN MAILING IT IN WITH THE MESSAGE "Hey put this on your site thanks!" IS CLEARLY SUPERIOR AND YIELDS MUCH BETTER COMEDY. SO WITHOUT FURTHER ADO I BRING YOU THE IM-ABUSES:

This one comes to us from "bcornell@zbzoom.net". Notice the way he saved this abuse without the color coding. What a stroke of brilliance! 
"NICE REBOUND"

This next one is from "Gunsmok677@aol.com", another monochromatic wonder. Interestingly, Mr. Gunsmok677 seems to have started this abuse in the middle of a conversation, and through a clever twist appears to be on the receiving end of some abuse himself! Thanks, Gunsmok677!
"GUNSMOK677"

The comedic giant responsible for this next submission needs no introduction! Yes, that's right, I'm talking about "40oz@telia.com"! I bet he drinks forty ounce bottles of alcohol, the same drink the Nation of Islam is battling to get out of the inner city! How cool is that? Just as Mr. 40oz dares to disobey the Nation of Islam, he also dares to break into new dimensions of hilarity with this wacky IM-abuse!
"NOFXSWED"

Ready for more? "InYourEyeGuy@aol.com sent us this gem in an email with the subject "I am bored." Well, no wonder, InYourEyeGuy! Anyone with the staggering wit displayed in this abuse probably thinks the rest of us are moving in slow-motion! Folks, if you don't believe me, take a look at this!
"INYOUREYE"

Did someone say IM-ABUSE? "dudehaha@hotmail.com" sure did!
"MUSHROOM PEOPLE"

"rexoom@hotmail.com" sends us his own brand of IM-abuse, where quality rules over quantity and gibberish rules over coherence! It's anybody's game!
"REXOOM1"

I'll let "tblh@mindspring.com" speak for himself. This is the cryptic message he included when he sent us the following knee-slapper: "Okay, I tell this guy that I am a puritan in trouble with my belief and he wants to help.  I just hammer christianity over and over, hypocritical and all that shit, read it". Dear readers, I can't give you any better advice than what the author himself has already said: "hypocritical and all that shit, read it"!
"AND ALL THAT SHIT, READ IT"

Guys, even I can't tell you what's going on inside the mind of "mdc531@gateway.net". I haven't read an abuse with a thrilling plot-twist like this in ages! If you pay attention, it appears that at the end of this abuse, the abusee reveals that he/she knows the abuser quite well, and in fact saw them on Friday. Why, someone phone Hollywood! I think we've found the next M. Night Shamalayalan!
"SLIPKNOT"

Hey! Hey! Peep "Dave@punchoutdesigns.com" and his next level ish! 
"VIVA ROCK VEGAS"

You may have thought that religion was "in", but you'll be trading in those bibles faster faster than He can kill the first-born of every gentile Egyptian when you see how "jschif1@tiger.towson.edu" skewers Christianity in this ground-breaking abuse!
"WATCH OUT, POPE JOHN PAUL!"

Monkeys, anal probes, bras! It's chaos -- HILARIOUS chaos, that is! But don't thank me, thank "jolene__bramer@hotmail.com", stay-at-home mom AND the rascally author of this IM-abuse! Can you believe it?
"OH SHIT!"

And who is this? Oh, THE LIVING EARTH, how did you sneak this into the Reader Submissions? You crazy devil!
"SUBLIMINAL MESSAGE"


WELL FOLKS, WE HOPE THAT READING THESE READER SUBMISSIONS WAS AS SIDE-SPLITTING FOR YOU AS IT WAS FOR US! KEEP EM COMING, GUYS! NOTHING MAKES US FEEL BETTER THAN BEING OUTDONE BY OUR ADORING FANS!

UNTIL NEXT TIME,
THE INFINITE FOUR AKA THE LIVING EARTH, THE POWER ETERNAL, AND THE SUPREME ELEMENT.

(ROT IN PIECES THANTASTIC THREE, YOU FILTHY BASTARDS: http://www.geocities.com/than3_2000/first.html)

IM-ABUSE :: added November 27th 2000

THE SUPREME ELEMENT in...
SUPREME ELEMENT'S SPECIAL ELECTION REPORT

THE POWER ETERNAL in...
HOLY SHIT, RECENT U.S. SCHOOL SHOOTINGS

THE LIVING EARTH in...
THE FUCKING INVESTITURE CONTROVERSY 

THANK YOU, YOU CRETINS, AND REMEMBER TO JOIN US NEXT TIME FOR READER SUBMISSIONS! THE AUTHOR OF THE BEST READER SUBMISSION WILL WIN A STAY OF EXECUTION WHEN WE EAT YOUR DIRTY, DISEASED, FILTHY STUPID PLANET.

THANK YOU,
THE INFINITE FOUR AKA THE LIVING EARTH, THE POWER ETERNAL, AND THE SUPREME ELEMENT.

ROT IN PIECES THANTASTIC THREE, YOU FILTHY BASTARDS: http://www.geocities.com/than3_2000/first.html


IM-ABUSE
:: added July 26th, 2000

THE SUPREME ELEMENT in...
DaSerpicoKid vs DaSerpicoKid : the MURDER of SERPICO

THE POWER ETERNAL in...
VunderBone vs VunderBone : the MURDER of APOCALYPSE

THE LIVING EARTH in...
CARWHORE vs CARWHORE : the MURDER of DREADNAUGHT 


the IM-ABUSE Archives!!
check out all your favorite past abuses! collect 'em! quote 'em! trade 'em with your friends!
(7 glorious months of IM-abuse by THE THANTASTIC THREE, inventors of IM-ABUSE, right up until the moment they were murdered brutally and this page was taken by force by T3's evil counterparts, THE INFINITE FOUR!)

:: January 18th 2000 & January 20th 2000: 25 abuses

:: January 22nd 2000 - February 18th 2000: 24 abuses

:: February 24th 2000 - March 3rd 2000: 32 abuses

:: April 12th 2000 - July 19th 2000: 53 abuses


Profanity rating guide:
1/5 : Clean enough.
2/5 : I would not voluntarily show this to my mom but I would not really care if for some reason she saw it.
3/5 : Some mild swearing, and/or semi-explicit talk about sexuality… you know, dinkies, MB, that sort of thing.
4/5 : Some more of THOSE words are exchanged, perhaps some more vivid descriptions of sex acts.
5/5 : Easily grounds for imprisonment/excommunication/disfigurement.

  

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