"Teaching Peace"
How to Raise Children to Live in Harmony,
Without Fear, Without Prejudice, Without Violence
by
Jan Arnow
INTRODUCTION
Suppose we wanted to design a training program in which
the primary objective was to prepare children to hate by the
time they entered kindergarten. What would that program
be like? It might be one in which:
* there is free access to toys and games where your ability
to win depends on your ability to maim and kill, and
exposure to an amount of advertising of those toys and
games which is the equivalent of 22 days of classroom
instruction per year;
* there is an increase in the sales of war toys of over 700%
within the most recent decade;
* there is an overexposure to video games in which the
object is to solve conflicts and gain power through the
use of violence;
* there is unrestricted access to comic books with names
like Asylum, Bloodshot, Death Mask, Doom, and
Necroscope and a preponderance of anti-heros;
* there is easy access to drugs of all kinds, coupled
with decreasing funding for drug intervention and
prevention;
* as many as 25 percent of the children who shoot
people are high on alcohol or drugs like crack or
PCP, all of which are "disinhibitors" that may spur
violent behavior;
* disputes once settled with fists are settled with guns;
where during every 100 hours on our streets, there is a
loss of more young men than were killed in 100 hours
of ground war in the Persian Gulf;
* the status of being the most heavily armed country on
the face of the earth is fiercely maintained, with more than
200 million guns in the hands of ordinary citizens;
* there is access to these weapons by children, with more
than 135,000 children bringing guns to school each day
and nearly two dozen teens and adults killed every day
by firearms;
* shootings or hostage situations in schools occur in at
least 35 states and the District of Columbia;
* according to Nielson data, the average child watches
22,000 hours of TV by age 18, as compared with only
11,000 hours spend in the classroom;
* following the deregulation of the television industry,
the average number of violent acts depicted on television
increased from 18 to 26 per hour;
* only 10 percent of children's viewing time is spent
watching children's television; the other 90 percent is
spent watching programs designed for adults;
* in addition to violence in the community, at least 3.3
million children are at risk for witnessing parental abuse
each year, a conservative estimate because of under-reporting
of domestic abuse; these children witness the range of
abusive behavior from hitting, punching or slapping to
fatal assaults with guns and knives;
* where competitive, violent language becomes increasingly
mainstream, from "ethnic cleansing" to "takeovers" and
"kill the competition."
When I lecture and conduct workshops for teachers, parents,
corporations and community leaders throughout the country,
I often begin with this exercise. After citing the statistics,
I then ask, "What's wrong with this picture?" Of course,
the answer is that these statistics are all appallingly current,
and such a program to teach children to hate, designed
around these very elements, already exists. We live it
each day, in every part of this country, at every socioeconomic
level. And yet we wonder why our children have grown
so violent and so prepared to hate.
It has been said that inherent in one conflict is the beginning
of another. Studies have shown that if children learn that
violence, conflict and hatred are the prevailing option, these
behaviors become normal to them and they are more than
likely to perpetuate them into their adult lives. To me, this
is a frightening reality. It means that no matter how much
effort and resources we pour into ending neighborhood and
world conflicts today, there are several generations waiting
in the wings to begin further conflicts tomorrow, generations
of children who are already trained and more than willing,
and in many cases eager, to participate.
I am not satisfied with this vision of the future. As an
educator, a concerned citizen and mother of three, I have
written this book for others who may also be apprehensive
about tomorrow.
The views that I express and the suggestions that I make
have grown out of several basic premises that I hold:
* The 21st century is now less than five years away. To
help us predict how America will fare in the new century,
we must pay very close attention to some very important
demographic changes: the shift in the age structure and
diversity of our population, the growing population of at
risk children and adults, the significant transfer of resources
away from our children and young families to our mature
work force and aging population, and the government
policy of increasingly doing less to insure a competitive
and productive future for our children's' future.
* By the middle of the new century, our world will be run
by those who are children today. But the decisions that will
affect them before they are old enough to assume leadership
will be made by us. As we wonder what kind of leaders they
will be based on the powerful forces of violence and hatred
with which they are faced, we must remember that we are
in charge today. We have the choice of either passing on
to them a legacy of sustainable coexistence, or relinquishing
our considerable power and allowing the crisis of violence to
increase its own destructive momentum.
* Caring for children is not just the responsibility of parents,
nor is education solely the job of school systems. Everyone
raises children, regardless of whether or not we have children
of our own. It is, therefore, everyone's job to address the
issues in this book.
* There is no absolute truth. Each of us must search within
ourselves for that which is meaningful and true to us, and the
search must be ongoing. Because change is a constant, we
cannot be satisfied tomorrow with what we decided today.
Similarly, what is effective for one person in one situation
may not be so for another in a different situation. It is absolutely
normal to have conflicting feelings about the issues covered
in this book. The debate will continue and the struggle for
clarity on these issues will go on. But in the meantime,
parents must parent and teachers must teach. What is important
is not that all people agree on all issues and all truths, but
that we continue to explore options and present ourselves
as thoughtful, humane role models to our children.
* If we begin with compassion, all activities become positive
experiences.
The problems discussed in "Teaching Peace" have taken
generations to attain the position they hold in our lives today.
They will not be eliminated, or even addressed sufficiently,
in a sound bite. In fact, we may never see in our lifetimes
the results that we want . But that is not a reason to put off
addressing the issues in positive ways. It is in this spirit
that I welcome each of you to the pages of this book. I
offer it to you in acknowledgement of our similarities,
our differences, and the common bond we have in believing
that children, all children, deserve a peaceful future.
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NOTE: The text above is from the recent book, Teaching Peace: How to Raise Children to Live in Harmony -- Without Fear, Without Prejudice, Without Violence_ by Jan Arnow (Perigee/Berkley, © 1995 Jan Arnow, ISBN #0-399-52155-0, $12.00). In each chapter there are additional charts, quotes and sidebar sections that have not been uploaded. If you are interested in seeing these additions, please contact the author directly (email: jarnow@iglou.com); (snail mail: 2025 Maryland Avenue, Louisville, KY, 40205); (telephone: 502-454-0607); or buy the book! This is copywritten material. Please do not distribute without the author's permission. |
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"Teaching Peace"
Chapters 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - Bibliography
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