Semi-Pros in Miami
Home Up April 26 May17 - Random Sexual Thoughts May 24 - Go the Distance May 31 -- I Believe in The Body Semi-Pros in Miami My Kingdom For a Hat Polemic Pat Clown Clooney Where was God? New York Dickerbockers Salon Editorial The Boardwalk Blower Surreal Swingers Stand-Alone Sin Only in America Story of the Day My Ass Let It Be Striking at Hunger Strikes Rules of Dating All the Money in the World How to Make Friends Random Thoughts National Day of Prayer I LOVE WOMEN People are People Nostalgia Sex Stories Share and Share Alike Runaway Bride Fight Club

 

I live in Miami now.  There are an incredible amount of outrageously hot women here.  In fact, there are more beautiful women here than any other city I have ever seen.

The only problem is that after seeing these girls every day and not being able to have sex with them, after awhile, you begin to lose your mind.

Don't get me wrong, I hook up a decent amount (defined as: at least make out with a new girl every six to eight weeks and have sex with a steady girl at least once a week), but it seems like there is a sea of tits here, and I am drinking in tiny droplets.  I want to dive into the whole god damn ocean.

The waves keep pounding you every night on South Beach, and the more luscious the surf, and the more dry you are, the more insanity sets in.

On Friday night, I talked to approximately eleven different women at a new club on the beach.  Most of them were unfairly beautiful. And I must admit I was fairly charming.  Some even indicated I was cute, but alas, no results.   The madness grows.

There are two problems, which I will get into greater detail on later.  But for now, suffice it to say, they are: 1. Too many semi-professional whores in Miami. 2. The genes that God gave women.

1. In other places in the US, when I tell girls that I quit law to become a talk show host, they get excited, because it indicates I might actually be an interesting person that has done something unusual, and hence cool, thing with his life.

In Miami, it is seen as a clear decrease in earning potential, and is heavily frowned upon.  I have never seen girls get so turned off as when I tell a Miami girl I no longer practice law.  This reaction is sickening, in its depraved, whorish blatantness.

This happened again on Friday night when I told what seemed to a sweet 5th grade teacher my story.  She lost all interest, quickly lost her sweet smile, and literally switched seats so as not to sit next to the man that threw away such good future earning potential.

2. Obviously, the genes of women are flawed.  They are poorly designed creatures who do not want to have sex nearly as often as needed for the human race to get along peaceably and fruitfully.  

 

5/14/99