Above: A group of hipsters listening to a record and looking at each other's slides.
note: as no real hipster would identify his or herself as a hipster, the identities of the
hipsters in this handbook have been protected.

 
  One who possesses tastes, social attitudes, and opinions deemed as being cool by the cool. (Note: it is no longer cool to use the term "cool" to describe the above, a hipster would instead say "deck.") The hipster walks among the masses in daily life but is not a part of them and must shun or reduce to kitsch anything held dear by the mainstream. A hipster ideally possesses no more than 2% body fat. See the full glossary of terms listed below.
 
  Working is a necessary evil reserved for the masses which by definition the hipster is not a part. Work is avoided at all costs for it is truly "bohemian" to be an artist and stay at home creating art. In fact, the goal of a true hipster is to not work at all. Work is an antiquated notion dear to an older generation.
 
  Picking up trust fund check, dog walker, coffee shop counter person, model, HTML coder,art handler, performance artist, musician, poet, general artist.

Similar to eskimos who have 8 different terms the word "snow," the hipster has many terms for receiving a check from the parents:

1. getting the cush
2. picking the berries
3. waxing Oedipal
4. parimony (sometimes daddimony)
5. changing the diaper
 
  Music of choice - ambient, indie, retro-country, avant jazz, and generally anything without exception that is on Matador and Thrill Jockey. Music must be important and/or ironic.

Diet - Vegetarian - meat is so suburban is a useful catch phrase.

Cigarette of choice

Galouise -for when you are feeling arty.
American Spirit - when you are feeling healthy and/or anti-corporate.
Lucky Strike - when you are feeling tough.
Marlboro - totally midtown.

Drink of Choice - Martini (Cosmopolitans are very 1999) 
40 ouncers can also show that you are ironic and open to new things.

beacon - one's best outfit.
sentence: "I'm going to Galapagos tonight so you better believe I'll be wearing my beacons."
"Mary is really stylish, she is always dressed to the beacon."

bennie - hat
sentence: "Have you seen Jim's new bennie?" "It's cold out today, let me grab my bennie."

berries - dollars
sentence: "Can I borrow a couple of berries? I want to go to Diesel."

bleeker - tourist
sentence: "Every time I'm in the city some bleeker asks me for directions."

boggle - vomit
sentence: "If I have another shot of whiskey, I'm gonna boggle."

bronson - beer
sentence: "Want to go to the Brooklyn Ale House for a bronson?"
"I drank a sixer of bronsons last night while watching the game. "

brumby - bar
sentence: "There is a new brumby on the Northside, but it is totally midtown. Last time I was in there it was filled with greasers."

bust a moby - to dance
sentence: "Lets go to the Tunnel and bust a moby.""Did you see her moves at the Rave last night? She really knows how to bust a moby."

catching the G - sour luck, to be put in a bad position.
sentence: "Ever since Todd got laid off, he has been broke." " Yeah, he's really catching the G."

chipper : woman of easy virtue
sentence: "She will peach anyone after one bronson." " Yeah, she's a real chipper"

chowder : alcoholic beverage
sentence: "Enids has half price chowder until 7pm. Let's get shellacked!"

CK1 - bisexual
"I saw him looking at my ass, he's a CK1." "His long hair makes him look so CK1."

clothesline - local gossip
sentence: "Yo, I heard on the clothesline that she is sleeping with Billy. She is such a chipper"

cronkite - boy
sentence: "Have you seen Sally's new cronkite? She met him at the L Cafe and he is a such a frado."

daisy - a gay male.
sentence: "Have you heard the new Bette Middler? I feel like a daisy for admitting it, but I think it is totally deck."

deck - This is a key word for most hipsters, similar to the antiquated "fresh." To be deck is to be up on the latest trends, cutting edge, and/or "hip."
sentence: "That cronkite looks deck in those cowboy boots." "Have you checked out the new Radiohead? It's deck."

flame - to urinate
sentence: "I have to take a flame."

flavorless
- straight and/or heterosexual
sentence: "He kinks his hair and wears tight pants, but he's definitely flavorless. He's been going out with some tassle for 9 months."

flogger - coat
sentence: "I bought this wool flogger at the Antique Boutique. It was only 80 berries!"
frado - an ugly guy who thinks he's good-looking
sentence: "Bill thinks all the girls love him, but they all know he's frado."
(p.s. -- Frado is the ugliest n'sync member)

to frigidaire - to treat coldy
sentence: "I don't know what her problem is, but she gives me the frigidaire every time I see her."

gluten (pronounced gloot - in) - to eat
sentence: "I'm starving, let's gluten."

greaser: An individual who comes from or resides in New Jersey
sentence: "Frank has a mullet and acts like a greaser when he is shellacked."

hilfiger
- some who has no fashion sense
sentence: "You'd think he had no kale, he dresses so hilfiger."

hog - a taxi, car service
sentence: "Do you have your piece? I want to call a hog since its raining"

hypo - a coke head
sentence: "Mike 's such a hypo, I saw him boggle on North 6th after getting really shellacked and going to Kokies."

ishtar - bad
sentence: "Yo, that shit was ishtar"

jerry
- a stoner, hippie
sentence: "My pits smell totally ishtar. I feel like a jerry."

juicer - a lady's man. An individual who has undeniable sex appeal.
sentence: "I wish he would ask me out, he's such a juicer."
jug - a 40 ounce bottle of domestic beer.
sentence: "Tassles respect me. I can drink a whole jug and still bust a mean moby."

kale
- money
sentence: "Yo Kim, can you slide me some kale? I'm still waiting for my mom to send rent."

kidsman - an organizer of child thieves (Scratch this. This is Victorian Slang)

midtown - uncultured
sentence: "He's never heard of Hal Hartley. He's so midtown."

nancy
- buttocks
sentence: "Amy has a good head on her shoulders. "
"Maybe so Mike, but have you seen her Nancy?"

peaching - to have sex
sentence: "I saw the way you looked at Marty. Are you two peaching?"
"She's got such a tight bod. I'd love to peach her"
piece - cell phone
sentence: "John is such a nerd. He doesn't even have a piece."
"I must have been on the L, my piece didn't ring."

to get puffy - to bust a cap
sentence: Actually this phrase is never used. These are art kids for God's sake.
raphaels - glasses
sentence: "Do these raphaels go with my flogger? I don't know if I like the new frames or not."

shellacked - drunk
sentence: "I was so shellacked last night that I lost count of how many chowders I had drunk!"

tassle - girl
sentence: "Jim is definitely a frado, but somehow he gets a new tassle every night."

uni
- university
sentence: "Jane is nice but I just can't be friends with someone who went to a public uni."

vejjo
: vegetarian
sentence: "As if I would ever go to Peter Lugers. Nothing there is vejjo."

Wally
- well-dressed man, a ladie's man
sentence: "That blonde haired guy we saw at Enids is so Wally."
"Have you seen Jennifers's brother? He is definitely a Wally."

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mail@freewilliamsburg.com | August 2001 | Issue 17

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The Hipster Handbook, Copyright ® 2001

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