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wWednesday, October 09, 2002 |
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A train crashed
And everything slows down
I was wishing I could get out of this town
These dreams we've had
Have never made you cry
And I am not a twinkle in your eye
But I've got to get out of here
Cuz you drive me up the wall
I've got to get out of here
Cuz I can't stand to fall
And If I die
see you won't be so close to me
And I won't be the one
Who sticks around
If I'm awake
see you won't go to sleep, I promise
And I won't be the one
Who lets you down
Tailgates, long talks
And your superficial friends
Shiny, silver Fords
That lead us to dead ends
And I said do you lick these salty wounds
That you, yourself condone
I sit, wait, and I'm all alone
But I can't go home
'Cause you're my home
If I die
see you won't be so close to me
And I won't be the one
Who sticks around
If I'm awake
see you won't go to sleep, I promise
And I won't be the one
Who lets you down
No, I won't let you down
No, I won't let you down
Tell me where you are tonight
And is everything alright?
Do you remember what I said,
While he's sleeping in your bed?
tell me now you Smile hard
cuz i don't smile much so far
And is he everything you need?
Is he everything I couldn't be?
Does he make everything match better?
Bring you all the shiny weather that you want
And is he everything
everything I'm not
And If I die
You won't be so close to me
And I won't be the one
Who sticks around
If I'm awake
see you won't go to sleep, I promise
And I won't be the one
Who lets you down
no, I won't let you down
no, I won't let you down
I won't let you down
I won't let you down
posted by
Allie at 5:38 PM
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hmmm yea school was ghey. Anyways, then wehad tech. HEART BE STILL!!! oh man. Just oh man. Somehow the conversation got into how I have a crush on everyone..SO NOT TRUE. and them liam was being a whore and telling christin who it was I had a crush on. NOO!!! please dont, far too embarrassing...I was captain redface...=\ sigh. If you told me that yiu were happy, if you told me that you miss me, give me something.
posted by
Allie at 5:12 PM
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wMonday, October 07, 2002 |
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Ahh today was shitty. IMP, teacher was out. Gym, crappified as usual. Mr.collyer wasnt here, so we didnt have to finish that really long and annoying test. History we watched a movie. A bad movie, that was pointless and hard to follow because of all the bad acting. Chemistry is utter crap. WHO GIVES A SHIT ABOUT DIMENSIONAL ANALYSIS? mr.Snyder is such a whore, he dosnt make sense. He is a very very bad teacher, and he makes things far too complicated- way more complicated than they should be. Why is that????And he gets mad at us for not following directions and not understanding. time after time, maybe HE is doing something wrong. Which is uper, because he is a very proud and arrogant man. Its not like he'll ever ever admit it or change his ways. Lunch...hahahah so funny....liam is the man. And roller boy is a walking punchline, it rules....hahahah. French was horribly funny also, Krumm sexuall harrasses me in class, he is too creepy for words. Yuck...he calls my name to get me to look back at him and then he blows me a kiss...I want to go throw up, excuse me. But at the end of class, jeffrey started to ask alba this really serious question, and seemed all sincere, and started to sputter, and then he asked her why she was so hairy....that was really mean, but very funny, because then alba was all "why do you wear glasses? why are you cock-eyed? why do you have braces? why are you so skinny??" Ugh, he has no respect, especially when he has so many faultsof his own. Anyways, yea, so at the end of class everyone is sort of still giggling, and then Jeffery asked is Alba wanted him to buy her a razor....it was somewhat mean, but krumm like collapsed from laughing so hard and was on the floor dieing. And oh man it was funny how crazy they were going from laughter. And then art...I hate my idea for the mural. And it sucks even more because they chose it, and then they made me change it to something happy. How fucking lame is that? They sompletely changed the message...I feel like telling her I dont want to do my idea, but she already had me sketch it out on the canvas...and I dont have the heart, because no one else came up with any ideas. Anyways, then schoooooooooool ended, and I went after for help from Mr.snyder. But he wasnt there. I needed help because we have a lab report (that needs doing actually) due tomrrow, and it was from a lab I had never finished, so I was completely lost...but then I just stole someone elses paper. Fuck him, I cant beleive how rediculously pointless that class is. And then we had tech....twas fung, but only for like, a half hour. And then no one was home to give me a ride home (I hate my family). So I walked...blah blah blah. I have been very tired lately, I took another nap. And then I just sat down in my room on the floor and just thought about things...utterly miserable. And now Im going to soak in a hott bath for as long as possible. And then maybe I'll do some work.
I was thinking today and I vowed never to forget the true beauty I saw....the happyness it brought me has faded, and my despondance has once again gotten the better of me. Anyways...here I go. p.s....life sucks, I wish I could die.
posted by
Allie at 8:50 PM
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wSaturday, October 05, 2002 |
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I witnessed true beauty today, and Im in total awe...Im actually also sad that I didnt stop and look at it more...r silently, and had a human red face...it was beautiful for some reason today Today it might as well be the best day of my life okay. well today, Goddamn it Im sad now because I wish I had seen it longer!!!
Ohhhh
okay, so I went to newton with my mom, because I got permission to use the dark room at school, and I needed photopaper. And on the way home, we were driving through a subburb, and you know how houses have a lawn and then a hedge at the edge of it?and then there is like a foot inbetween the hedge and the sidewalk? well, we drove by this house that had a lawn like that, and all this long grass was inbetween the hedge and the sidewalk. And it was sorta early in the morning, but I saw this boy. A man. And he looked just like Chris Carraba...short dark geled down hair, tight black shirt, old jeans, tatoos on his upper arms that were just visible under the shirt, and he was sleeping on his side in the grass...it was one of the most beautiful things Ive ever seen...you ahve no idea how amazing it was it has had such an impact on my thoughts all of today do you understand this?dosnt that sound so wonderful?? Im dead serious it has to be one of the most amazing things Ive ever seen That just meant so much to me...Im so inpried to soend my life trying to capture the beauty I saw the light seemed to soft and shined off of the plants and around him and was glinting off his hair he seemed to happy and peacful and I thought why he would be sleeping there have you ever seen somethin like that? I am truely in awe of everything
posted by
Allie at 11:51 PM
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RUFIO says hi: if you go to the zoo with some salt on your ass you just might get laid
luckytobealivex: whoa
RUFIO says hi: ;-)
RUFIO says hi: By me
RUFIO says hi: heh
luckytobealivex: whoaa
luckytobealivex: even better
RUFIO says hi: :-D'
posted by
Allie at 8:06 PM
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um yay?...Im not emo
posted by
Allie at 5:16 PM
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well Im back, it was closing for just an hour, but we didnt feel like going back. So yea art class. It was really fun. At first I thought it was going to be very boring, but I just kind of did my own thing and it ruled. So I missed last class and I didnt know what to bring, we were supposed to bring ink and a paintbrush and what not. And I didnt..so I borrowed a paintbrush and some ink. I had brought all my charcoal supplies,, and I had some conte` crayons (that reminds me:CALL ALEX!!!) and yea. We had a live model again...so It started out boring, and just all bad...and then I started to wet my white conte` crayon and I went all wild with it over the ink. Then I crushed some reddish (more like burnt umber or whatever) conte` crayons into the ink, so It had like a brown tint, and I just went nuts. The professer went crazy for them. I feel all unaccomplished tho, because he never gives me constuctive critizism, he always tells me how well Im doing, and how my drawings make him feel, while I hear him giving everyone else advice on what to do. Blah. And then I started to mix a whitish brownish greyish mixy goop in my palm with some ink and the conte` crayons and some charcole, and I started just spreading it on the page...and then I crushed some more conte` up and made a paint almost, and its all textury...they are really amazing Im very proud of them, you should see them. They are hardely even about the model...yea. Andyways, we are going to get my photogrpahic paper today, (resin coated of course) because I got permission to use the school dark room (SWEET DEAL!!) anyways..yea. And tomorrow Jackie is coming and sleeping over. I wonder what crazyness will happen this time.
posted by
Allie at 2:10 PM
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you aint seen nuthin yet, buh buh buh babay! Yea, just got back from class. It was..I donno I'll tell you about it later, Im going to swap it with Hillary
posted by
Allie at 12:49 PM
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wFriday, October 04, 2002 |
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Bored as hell. Where the fuck are all my friends? Okay so Im making a list of reasons why Im not emo
1) I wore a gap sweatshirt to school today...Thats a very big reason
2) I enjoy punk...and "deathmo", "screamo", "hardcore", "hardcore emo" and "Death Metal"...normal emo people cry when they here that kind of stuff
3) I make fun of emo kids sometimes...
4) I think its funny when a band like "Anti-Flag" writes a song about how much emo sucks, and how they are all whiney assholes who need to get laid fast.
5) I like guys...all kinds of guys. Even guys who are mean and just wanna get into my pants??? (is that a reason???)
6) I dont shop at good will stores
7) I love saves the day...and they are like the joke of the core emo world
8) I dont hate Drive thru records!!! I really like Allister and Home Grown and Finch (althoug I hate NFG and wish they would 'perish' "
9) I dont have the normal emo girl hair, or the normal emo style. Although I wear chucks because they look cool, I dont wear reebok, or beaters, or rolled up pants, etc.
10) I can be described as a music elitist...(thank you oh so much tyler) But Im really not, unless I dont like the music you listen to...well I suppose I am. No..Im really not..SCREW OFF!
I AM NOT EMO. I wish everyone would stop saying I am. Just because I love emo music and Im not emotionally shallow, dosnt make me emo...your all whores.
posted by
Allie at 9:45 PM
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Oh yes, art class tomrrow morning: Dont forget.
posted by
Allie at 4:20 PM
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blah. I almost forgot, school was shit..again. Im so bored with my life, something fun and new needs to happen. Ahhh yes, STD show in Novembre coming up..day before thanks giving, woo. Hopefully Jenn and I will go to the battle of the bands thing. Or maybe she'll come up here, and we'll go see Fake I.D. and the Movie life, because Im dieing to see the movie life and fake ID again...yea. They both rule. What else is coming that is fun and new...ummmm..Oh tyler is having a halloween party. I shall attend perhaps. Hopefully roller boy wont be there...hahahahahhahahahahah. Okay, ermm what else? Oh well art class is cool, and stuff, and the one that im taking in school is also cool. No one really likes my idea for the mural tho :\ I dont like it either. The school is so dumb they made me change my idea to something happy...blah. And we can do something cool like...artsy. You know? Because if its just a plain boring mural (Which it will be) then no one is going to like it, and it wont be art. Blah, fuck the school. They want it to be the town seal with dumb ass hockey sticks and books and chemisty equipment...wow. Creative. I really want to do that. Oh my god, if we decide to do something like that I swear I am not participating. No, I refuse. That is so fucking lame!!!!! Jesus...and guess what the theme is? Cultural diversity...oh wow, thats never ever ever been done before!! Im really excited!! Good thing I came up with my idea before you know, We got the oh-so-shocking news about the theme. Fuck them all I say.
posted by
Allie at 4:19 PM
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Baby I wouuuuullllld maybe I couuuuuuuuuld I could...Taking back sunday:Good Enough. Oh man, I need to make a mix of love-gone-awry songs...that will deffinetly be on it. And so will allister's "love song" and ultimate fakebook's "a million hearts" and deffinetly "A drag in D flat" even tho it isnt really love-gone-awry..its still about love and its beautiful. Anf Fake id's "peices of me" man...I gotta make a list!
posted by
Allie at 4:11 PM
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