monday morning at 7:56am my daughter arrived weighing 9 pounds 11 ounces measuring 21 inches from head to toe. she is beautiful and healthy.
i've been searching for words since monday night... and i haven't found any... except to say that she has healed me even though i did not know i was sick. we have had many moments, some lasting for hours, where she makes me perfect. room 768 is our world and there are only 3 people. mommy, daddy, and rebecca. she sleeps on top of me while i lay on my back and she heaves and hos her little belly and breathes little swishes of air in and out onto my cheeks and in each breath there is no room for war, or economy, or labor... there is only room for love and run-on sentences.
i was asked months ago which words i had chosen to be my first to her. and when she came, i could not speak. i tried, but tears kept threatening to spill over the dam. it was 8 long years of trying... filled with infertility tests and procedures... and countless moments of anger, sadness, and frustration. but it was nothing... truly... we are so lucky...
i'm so sad for every moment that's slipped by. the day cheats me with only 24 hours. i need 50 or 100 to satiate...
everything i type now is trite and i'm almost done capturing from the tape to the pc. i wouldn't have come home at all except that we worried the birth tape may degrade from being watched so many times.
i love you rebecca.