John Robie creams his jeans over Cameron Crowe's UNTITLED

Hey there all you film fans, Harry here. Now the following review is going to read like one continual orgasm, but before you start believing that this is some sort of shill, let me tell you a bit about AICN's resident cat burglar. John Robie is a pure movie fan. I've known him for about 2 and a half years now and.... As recent as a week ago he was calling Dreamworks "a b*nch of f*cking c*cks*ckers" because he got turned down for a job there. He felt that getting an industry job was his only chance to leave people's property in their homes... But no. He's still forced to a world of crime alleys and rooftops. He still sneaks into sneaks and when he found himself at this high profile DREAMWORKS film, he felt that this was his chance to exact revenge. But then he found a film he thought was genius. All the rage went away, and all he was left with was thanks. Enjoy a review from someone that had a great film experience tonight.

For me it was hearing a Ramones tape that my buddy Josh gave me when I was in the fifth grade. It hit me like lightning. That was it, that was what I was waiting to hear. I still get the same feeling listening to it. My pulse quickens, I can feel shivers on my back, the hair on my arms stands on end, I get a warm feeling that starts way, way down and works its way up.

It’s the same feeling I got watching Cameron Crowe’s new film tonight.

It’s like that line in the Marley song. “One good thing about music, when it hits, you feel no pain.” That’s it, that’s exactly it, that’s where the heart of this movie is, and it’s realized in such an true way, the sentiment is so pure… it’s a credit to Crowe and everyone else involved that they could craft something so moving.

This is Crowe’s story. In a big, big way he lived it. It’s culled from his experiences as a young writer for Rolling Stone back in the early 70s. William is the kid, Stillwater is the band. William gets to follow Stillwater around on tour, documenting the band for a story, becoming friends with them, finding out about himself, finding out some truths about life, however ugly or brutal they may be, finding that maybe he isn’t as close to the band as he’d have liked. He makes mistakes. He is a kid, after all. A lesser movie would’ve forgotten all the frailties and foibles that a fifteen year old goes through. This one doesn’t. Ever.

William is me. He’s going to end up being a lot of people. He’s the guy with the band that we always dreamt of being, and he’s the awkward outsider that we actually are. And he’s got the love, man, and he’s just like any of us geeking out because we got to shake the hand of the guy who ran around in our favorite movie or wrote the book or sang the song or did the thing that helped us decide what we wanted to do with our lives.

This wouldn’t have worked unless the kid playing William was just dead on. Patrick Fugit is perfect. The kid’s a newcomer, brings absolutely no baggage with him. He totally, totally lives the role. Everything is right there, from the excitement to the anger, and none of it ever plays as trite. Jason Lee gets to prove that he’s actually a hell of an actor and Billy Crudup finally has the role that’s going to make everyone take notice. Kate Hudson, playing something like a groupie, is so goddam lovely that she just melted me every time she was onscreen. Anyone who knows the work of near-god rock writer Lester Bangs knows how big the guy’s shoes are. Philip Seymor Hoffman, playing Bangs, is fucking king.

Let the name of this thing stay Untitled. Stillwater isn’t right. The movie’s not about the band. It’s not even about William. It’s about something somewhere around love. There’s no name for it. It’s just a gut feeling. It’s kinda like the feeling you get when you kiss someone you really like for the first time. No, it is the feeling you get when you kiss someone you really like for the first time. That’s what this movie is about, that’s why it works. Putting a name on it, that’s impossible man. You just feel it.

There’s only one minor, minor, minor gripe I have with the movie. During a crisis situation one of the guys lets everyone else in the band know that he’s gay. Cut the line. It’s been done before. Coming after a dialogue from William that perfectly and realistically sums up how the kid feels, the gay line just feels cheap, like a step down. Sure a laugh helps at that point, but you don’t need it this way. I feel like an ass telling Crowe to cut a specific line, but I’m pretty sure about this one.

I’m no great lover of early ‘70s stadium rock. I was and still am into punk. Doesn’t matter. There’s such heart behind the music here, you become so infused with both the band’s passion for what they’re doing and William’s passion for what the band’s doing, that any big questions of whether or not the music works for you in an outside-the-film context melts away. This isn’t played up as pump-the-metal-sign-and-bang-your-head. It’s not that crass. There’s something a lot deeper, a lot more moving, going on here.

It doesn’t matter what type of musiclights that fire in you or sparked something. Rap, electonica, country. It could be a book you read when you were younger. It could be writing about movies because you dig them so much, hanging out with friends and talking all night about what you just saw. It’s about a total and complete love of something because it makes you feel like something greater than you are, and it helps you forget any kind of pain you might be feeling and takes you to a place you wish you could always be.

This movie taps into something so right, something just so true…there were times in the film I felt myself choking up, near tears, and all that was going on was a few people talking, a few little scenes cut together. No big proclamations of love, no one telling anyone how much they cared about each other. All that was going on was a kid falling in love with the music. That kid was me, is me, and I really had to hold myself back from an all out breakdown. No movie ever really got at this thing in me like this one. I don’t know that many have even tried.

There is a beauty to truth, a grace in the simplicity of a story well told. This one is flawlessly told. It’s the best thing I’ve seen in the past few years. It’s the best thing I’ve seen in a long, long time. It’s honest, and it’s right.

I just fell in love with a movie.

Thanks Mr. Crowe.

John Robie