Our Top Tens For 2004
Twelve months ago, the world was a different place. If you wanted a singing Simpson with a reality show, you only had Jessica. If you were jonesing for Paris, you travelled to France (or maybe Texas). The frequent fights on Hockey Night in Canada made you wish the players could behave like those nice guys in the NBA, or maybe that squeaky-clean Barry Bonds guy. But, for better or worse, a little year called 2004 changed all that. And through the good, bad and the overhyped, we were there. Here are all of our favourite pop culture and entertainment happenings over the past 366 days (it was a leap year, remember?)
Barbara Chabai, Editor-In-Chief
1) Lost
If I were stranded on a remote island with little hope of recovery, these are the people I would definitely not want to be stuck with. But at the same time, I'm compelled with all the force of a flight attendant sucked from a 747 without a tail section to stay tuned to their unraveling stories of survival each week.
2) Nelly and Tim McGraw duet
Move over, Ms. Streisand: Nelly's the new world-record holder for career duets, including Xtina, Kelly Rowland, P Diddy, Justin Timberlake, Snoop Dogg (insert others here). But whoever paired up this unlikely, uncanny and unforgettable twosome deserves a tip of the Stetson.
3) The Incredibles
Whatever's in the water at Pixar, they should bottle it to sell as Genius Juice.
4) Season 5, Episode 11 of Amazing Race: Colin's ox plowing meltdown
The villain finally gets his comeuppance! Knee-deep in a muddy field somewhere in the Philippines, Colin attempts to find a buried clue by steering a stubborn ox that tends to stray and stop as if it had a will of its own. "I hate you!" the hotheaded Colin screams, frustrated at not being able to control the dumb animal (only this time, he's not referring to his teammate/gf Christie). Viewers rightfully howl with laughter.
5) Ashlee Simpson's hoedown-style jigging talent
Now that's the classy way to leave a stage after being humiliated live in front of millions of TV viewers.
6) The Office - The Complete Collection DVD
I still can't quite put my finger on exactly what (or where) this utterly brilliant Britcom
about dysfunctionally-lovable office staff reminds me of. But if you're wondering what it'll be like to work out in the real world, boys and girls – this is it. Sorry.
7) Raj on The Apprentice
Once you looked past the bow ties and red pants, it was lovely to discover the savvy, sarcastic and sexy Raj, who was (at least six weeks) ahead of his time for the boardroom. Sure Raj may have been the contestant fired, but for that poor decision, Trump should've been dumped.
8) Any song on the radio playing opposite of Nickelback's "Feelin' Way Too Damn Good."
Chad Kroeger's plea to “make love one last time in the shower” gets my nod for heebie-jeebies of the year. Ick.
9) Extreme Makeover: Home Edition
My weekly excuse to spend 15 minutes sobbing publicly. Well okay, not including Tuesday afternoons at my desk.
10) Spongebob Squarepants & Friends
Watching Spongebob is like one of those magic eye puzzles: either you get it or you don't. For years, others have extolled the hilarious virtues of the porous one while I only shook my head in disbelief. But I finally came around in '04 and I GET it now!
So, to the few last holdouts who swear they'll never tune in to the Bikini Bottom bunch, I say in my best Patrick voice: "Liar, liar, plants for hire."
Twila Falk, Communications/PR Coordinator/Staff Writer
1) The Notebook
Someone get me a Kleenex – just thinking about this super-sappy love story gets me teary eyed. For the record – the book by Nicholas Sparks garnered many more tears than the movie adaptation.
2) The O.C.: The Complete First Season DVD
Seth Cohen in my house – all day, everyday. Ahh.
3) Gavin DeGraw's "I Don't Want To Be"
Love the song, the lyrics and the show it intros. Watch out O.C., One Tree Hill just might be my new guilty pleasure.
4) Mary-Kate Olsen spoofs the hoopla around the eating disorder rumours encircling her on Saturday Night Live two weeks before entering rehab for a 'health-related issue'
How ironic.
5) Jesse McCartney's Beautiful Soul
On my favourite CD of the year, the Summerland sweetie sings about his gal-pal being beautiful inside and out. Besides saying all the right things, McCartney's disc is packed with great tunes.
6) Dave Moffat moves to Winnipeg
Now living on the same street as me, he's training to work for Lancome. (Yes, the cosmetics company.)
7) Canadian Idol Kalan Porter sings Mercy Me's "I Can Only Imagine" as his personal song choice on the show's second last episode
Zack might have been disappointed, but it doesn't matter – he's not the final judge and neither is the Canadian public.
8) Catch-phrases "Loves it" and "That's hot!"
Thank you, Paris Hilton for your linguistic contribution to society.
9) Charlize Theron's Oscar Win
She's the ONLY Monster I would ever have livin' in my closet.
10) Britney Spears-Federline
Who?
Jocelyn Babin, What’s HERS Teen Correspondent
1) Janet Jackson’s “Wardrobe Malfunction”
This was quite the talked-about exposure and remained in the media headlines for weeks.
2) Janet’s brother, Michael
With his current court trial. He has been in the news about his arrest and charge of child molestation.
3) Mel Gibson’s The Passion of the Christ
This controversial movie hit theatres on February 25th 2004 and caused numerous debates to go on in the media world.
4) The O.C.captures the attention of many teens across the continent. Although it started in the summer of 2003, the first year came to the gripping conclusion in the spring of 2004.
5) Reality TV
With The Apprentice, The Swan, The Rebel Billionaire, and Trading Spouses. Each show has its own flair that caught the attention of the general public.
6) “Hey Ya”, by Outkast and “Toxic” by Britney Spears
The ‘in’ songs you were singing in the car.
7) Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
The third installment hit theatres and created a rush to the box office.
8) The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown took readers by storm and spread across the continent “herald[ing] the arrival of a new breed of lightning-paced, intelligent thriller.”
9) The Calgary Flames make it to the Stanley cup match in Tampa Bay
This is a huge feat for the team that rarely made it past the initial playoffs. The city went red with pride, every car had at least one flag, and the people became the biggest fans of all.
10) The US presidential election had us sitting on the edge of our seats for the results, and the numerous ways the impact will affect Canada in the next four years.
Dan Kenning, Editor, What’s HIS
1) The WB Superstar USA
To most, it was reality television’s nadir; to me, the finest off-key love letter the genre ever sent my way. A mangled masterpiece of backhanded compliments, unsubstantiated ego and incomprehensible renditions of “Bootylicious.” Folks, if I were a TV show, this is what you’d get.
2) Green Day/American Idiot
Not only deserving of Album Of The Year honours, but a place in my all-time Top 10 as well.
3) Oldies Trump the Young’uns In Concert
Britney’s Onyx Hotel tour was blasé, Xtina X'd her live shows and Good Charlotte got pelted with pop bottles on the Warped Tour, but fans of all ages flocked to the quality shows put on by oldsters David Bowie, Metallica, Aerosmith and Prince during their recent Canadian treks. Personal highlights: Madonna’s three-night stand at Air Canada Centre; the Beastie Boys rock the MMVAs.
4) “Screw Syndication, I’ve got the DVD!!”
Must-haves: Arrested Development: Season One, The Flintstones: The Complete First Season, Spider-Man: The ’67 Collection, Dallas: The First and Second Seasons, Seinfeld Seasons 1-3.
5) Garden State
So much so, that I went as Zach Braff for Halloween. Strangely, Natalie Portman declined all phone, FAX, e-mail and IM invitations to join me. She probably doesn’t like candy.
6) Alanis Morissette/So-Called Chaos
In a year when so many celebs sang essentially the same tune about how they couldn’t stand life in the public eye, Alanis bared it all willingly, sweeping out her psyche for 10 unflinchingly honest odes to her own insecurities. That the lyrics doubled as universal truths is testament to Morissette’s knack for writing songs that serve as wakeup calls for the emotionally unaware among us.
7) Anchorman
Dear Christina Applegate’s Film Choices,
Thank you for not sucking this time.
Signed, Dan.
8) Sean Cullen in The Producers at Toronto’s Canon Theatre
It’s a tall order to make me enjoy a) a musical, and b) a remake of my absolute favourite movie ever, but Cullen and Co. had me howling like I was in heaven, even if it had to be in TO.
9) Team America: World Police
In terms of sheer audacity and subversive brilliance, it’s right up there with The Daily Show. (Bleep) yeah.
10) Janet Jackson’s right nipple
It never showed itself, nor did it lip-sync on live television; annul a 55-hour marriage; get kicked out of the boardroom by Trump; have big salary demands that got it temporarily fired from its TV show; change its name to Esther and take a self-important pilgrimage to Isreal or cry foul after getting locked out by Gary Bettman. Thus, it is the most respected entertainment icon of 2004.
Caitlin Oleson, What’s HERS Teen Correspondent
1) Avenue Q wins big at the Tony Awards
Broadway's biggest recognition goes to a musical starring puppets and dealing with such hard-hitting themes as homosexuality and adult content on the Internet.
2) iPod Commercials
They're catchy and fun to watch. Gotta especially love the cool dance routines in each different one, those animated silhouettes got it going on!
3) Munch's Scream is Stolen
The art world (and the world at large) had to be shocked and appalled at the lack of security for this masterpiece! I know I sure was!
4) Desperate Housewives
What took producers so long?!? This is one of the best shows to air in the longest time. The kicker is the phenomenal cliffhanger storyline of what drove Mary-Alice to suicide and who's to blame for her death. The clues to this mystery are so subtle, even Sherlock would have a hard time cracking this case.
5) Vanderlei de Lima's Olympic Defeat
Another disappointing and devastating event of 2004 was when this Brazilian marathon runner was pushed off the course by a spectator/protestor and hurt his leg, forcing him from his gold position to a bronze.
6) Ken Jennings’ incredible winning streak on Jeopardy
Never in the history of game shows has one man won so many hearts by answering so many questions right with so little effort. He's a hero to everyone who aspires to know more than the next guy.
7) It's Splitsville for Ken and Barbie!
What can I say? Pop culture will never be the same, and neither will our little girls. In a time when every female child is being pressured into looking like the next underdressed popstar, the last thing we need is for one of the most longstanding female role models to break up with her long time beau. What's next?!? Barbie wearing thongs and a tube top?!?
8) Molson's Merger with Coors
Sure, I'm too young to drink and have no intention of ever beginning, but that's besides the point. Molson prided itself on being Canadian and even the most sober individuals can fondly remember Molson's strong “I Am Canadian” campaign, fronted by "Joe". Now they've joined forces with the distinctly American Coors. Suddenly, the patriotism in Molson's advertisements has lost all its flavour.
9) The 10-year anniversary of Kurt Cobain's suicide
Definitely another sad moment of 2004, this was a sobering reminder of what fame and fortune can do to a genius performer and artist, on a more psychological level. Nirvana fans across the world took a moment of silence to remember this beautiful person whose intelligent and creative mind brought us many masterpieces and beloved tunes.
10) Everything Else!
Yea, yea, it's cheap, I know. But how can I choose between Ashlee Simpson's lip-synching and Alanis' new hair cut? Between the amazing chance at getting to write for What's HERS and the chance to read Madonna's latest kids book? Between Morgan Spurlock's Super-Size Me and Michael Moore's Fahrenheit? Between "You're Fired" and "That's Hot!?" (Patriotic music swells in the background) Between U2's "comeback" and Maroon 5's "debut"? Between the no carb. diet craze and the homosexual marriage debates? 2004 has been jam packed with so many amazing events that will not soon be forgotten and, well, I'm a wuss. I can't pick just 10!
Rock on in 2005 everybody!
Joshua Selinger, Contributing Writer
1) Extreme Makeover: Home Edition
Sure it's sappier than a maple tree in March, yet I betcha even the most
prickly tough-guys out there won't be able to keep themselves from shedding
a tear during the last 15 minutes. All together now: "move that bus!"
2) Seinfeld on DVD
With the whole reality TV boom, you've been bombarded with tons of shows
about nothing, but the king of television sitcoms is the original and it's
bloody hilarious – and now you can finally fast-forward through Jerry's
opening stand-up bits.
3) John Stewart's Crossfire Breakdown
American's favorite funnyman proved that there's much more to him than just
sarcastic comments and witty zingers. Tearing CNN's immensely popular TV
show to bits (while guesting on that said show nonetheless), may seem like
an odd way to promote your new book, but hey. it worked.
4) Angels in America sweeps the Emmys
Scooping up 11 golden statuettes, Mike Nichols' heaven-sent mini-series
finally received the recognition it deserved. By far the most ambitious
television event to fly onto the airwaves since Roots (ask mom or dad).
5) Arrested Development
It's wacky, it's irreverent and often, it's downright offensive. But if
David Cross (Mr. Show) parading around in jean short-shorts doesn't make you
giggle like a schoolgirl, then you need to get your funnybone checked out
pronto.
6) Tarnation
Edited on a Macintosh computer for 218 bucks, Jonathan Caouette's Tarnation
is one of the most brutal documentaries ever. Dealing with schizophrenia,
homosexuality and drugs, the film may not be for the faint of heart, but you
would be nuts to miss seeing this painful, beautiful cinematic experiment.
7) Paul Reubens announces the return of Pee-Wee
With two Pee-Wee Herman movies slated for production in the not too distant
future, the word of the day is most definitely "awesome!"
8) Garden State
One of the funniest, most heart-warming coming-of-age flicks to hit the
big-screen since The Graduate, Scrubs star Zach Braff's directorial debut is
a mini-masterpiece. Besides the fact that Braff also wrote and stars in the
movie, the funny fellow also helped select the songs for the kick-ass
soundtrack. If that doesn't make him a renaissance man, I don't know what
would.
9) The Indie Rock boom
With such talented artists as Damien Rice, TV On The Radio and The Postal
Service popping up on The O.C. and in films like Closer and The Manchurian
Candidate remake, we can rest assured that Britney may not be queen of MuchMusic for much longer.
10) Nicole Kidman's obscure film choices
With films like Dogville and Birth, Ms. Kidman proves that even a Hollywood
sweetheart can stay true to her indie roots. Judging by ticket sales (or
lack thereof), moviegoers may not appreciate her experimentation; however,
it doesn't seem as if they cared for the big-budgeted The Stepford Wives
either.
Brandon Trask, What’s HIS Teen Correspondent
1) The Olympics
Fair play at it’s best, except of course for all of that cheating.
2) Janet’s wardrobe malfunction
In a tragic moment, Janet Jackson’s nipple was mistakenly revealed to the world. On a totally unrelated side note, I would like to take this opportunity to say that I will never miss another Superbowl game in my life.
3) Michael Moore’s Fahrenheit 9/11
The most successful documentary in history reveals shocking “facts” about the Bush administration. Maybe we didn’t misunderestimate Dubya.
4) CBC’s Greatest Canadian
It has to be a legitimate competition right? I mean, it is hosted by CBC.
5) The final episodes of Friends and Frasier
NBC’s best sitcoms since Seinfeld both come to a close within a week of each other.
6) The NHL lockout
In a fight between billionaires and millionaires, fans seem to be siding with the billionaires.
7) Au revoir, les Expos
The end of the Montreal/Puerto Rican Expos.
8) Brian Wilson/Smile
This long-awaited release had many people smilin’ this year.
9) Martha Stewart Living (in jail)
Martha’s conviction and subsequent jail sentence rocked suburban North America. Hopefully she can make her cell look a little more homely.
10) Mary Kay Letourneau is released from prison after serving rape sentence.
The story that captured the interest of the public (and Hollywood) comes to an end as Letourneau is released from prison. She vows to continue the relationship that she had with her 13-year-old student.
Jason Jung, What’s HIS Teen Correspondent
1) WHATS HIS/HERS 2004-2005 season kicks off!
I think no further comment is necessary.
2) The Boston Redsox are World Series champions
The Redsox’s momentous year was capped off with a come from behind series victory over the heated New York Yankees and an unpredictable four game sweep over the heavily-stacked St. Louis Cardinals. Fans who have stuck with their team through thick and thin over the years were invaded by a new found feeling called “happiness.”
3) 10 year old Grilled cheese sandwich sells for $28,000.00
Mmmm…sacrilegious. I think we’ve all heard of the legendary grilled cheese sandwich that was said to bear an image of the Virgin Mary. In my opinion, it was more like Catherine Zeta Jones and I believe the 10 year old sandwich should be forced down the throat of Michael Douglas (it would make great television). The winning bidder turned out to be an Internet casino and the aged food item was sold for a mere $28,000.
4) Canada wins the 2004 World Cup of Hockey
Team Canada’s roster received a ton of attention from skeptics as some players were said to be considerably young, inexperienced and not good enough. However, the medley of Kris Draper, Brendan Morrow, Robyn Regehr, Scott Hannan and Jay Bouwmeester overpowered adversity and came through in the end. After winning the 2004 World Cup, promising stars such as Joe Thornton, Dany Heatley, Roberto Luongo, Brad Richards, Martin St.Louis and Shane Doan won the public’s confidence as the group handled pressure with a lot of poise. They will surely use the experience in upcoming international competitions and hopefully bring championships home where they belong!
5) Republican George W. Bush vs. Democrat John Kerry in 2004’s Presidential election
The heated debates between were either talked about in great detail or made fun of by comedians. John F. Kerry’s long winded promises and George W. Bush’s dorky behaviour became the butt of several jokes. Although the outcome of the election may change its ranking on other top 10 lists, the presidential election still played out to be a large part of the media in ‘04.
6) Todd Bertuzzi mugs Steve Moore
As a Vancouver resident, I feel it is my duty to put this baby on my list. After fans witnessed Bertuzzi’s brutal sucker punch on Steve Moore, the whole city of Vancouver lit up like a firefly on a hot summer night. The city’s six o’clock news even made this catastrophe its top story for several days as the city remained shell-shocked. I can assure you that every Vancouverite, from the mayor to the garbage collector, was talking about this horrific incident.
7) The Lord of The Rings: The Return of the King takes the award ceremonies to school
I’m surprised LOTR didn’t win the Stanley Cup as part of its trophy haul. The third chapter of the Tolkien trilogy took home 11 Oscars and 4 Golden Globes thus setting itself well ahead of 1994’s It’s Pat in the film award standings. In my opinion, movies of 2004 were disappointing to say the least but 2005 looks pretty explosive with Star Wars: Episode III - Return of the Sith, Batman: Begins, Alone in the Dark, Fantastic Four and King Kong all scheduled to emerge on the big screen.
8) Martha Stewart to the Big House
Martha Stewart’s jail sentence further supports the belief that “humans are a flawed species.” Martha was an icon to many as she always found purposes for useless and trivial objects. Our best wishes go out to her and I just hope she fine-tuned her jujitsu before entering the general prison population.
9) Don Cherry finishes 7th in The Greatest Canadian Competition
Don Cherry exemplifies the average blue-collar Canadian citizen. After Don made comments toward French Canadian hockey players on an episode of Hockey Night in Canada, he was put on a tight leash by the station and the show was no longer aired live from that moment on. Personally, I felt people voted for him because of the amount of heat he had received from CBC for his rebellious attitude. Sure, he might not be a wizard with words or with the puck but we Cherry supporters don’t care one bit, eh! Here’s a guy who loves his country, flannel suits, white goatees and the game of hockey. Grapes has a golden Canadian heart and I’m proud he made it to the top ten.
10) Rest in Peace
In 2004, the world lost many talented and influential figures. Departed actors (Christopher Reeve, Marlon Brando), world leaders (Yassir Arafat, Ronald Reagan), entertainers (Rodney Dangerfield, Jack Parr and Alan King), musicians (Ray Charles, Rick James, Johnny Ramone and Darrell Abbott) and so forth who encouraged others for great success will eternally be remembered for their efforts at molding our global society to where it is today.