Voices in my head...
Wednesday, April 06, 2005 - 07:37 AM
Yeah, so I met this girl at a party who I think is interested in me (I know, she very well might not).

Anyway, her voice reminds me a lot of the voice of one of my old girlfriends. I was just wondering, if I were to pursue a relationship with this girl, when should I reveal this, if at all?

I would not reveal it at all. If you mention the similarities in voice, it will give the girl the impression you are not over your previous girlfriend. The girl would not go out with you because she would have the impression you still have feelings for your previous girlfriend. Also the girl would have her doubts if you are really dating her for her qualities as a person or just because her voice is similar to someone you were in a relationship with before. No one wants to be a “replacement”. You need to decide for yourself if the girl sounded like a horse old man, if you would still date her.

More Economics
Wednesday, April 06, 2005 - 12:56 AM
In response to a previous question asked, “Economics Lesson”, the writer responded to my answer. She has doubts to the accuracy of my answer. Since I live in the USA, I felt she was entitled to express her view (however wrong it might be). I felt her response back to me needed to be elaborated upon:
Nice try, but the answer was "a bull market!" :) 3-5% net profit? Most company's would kill for that! Sorry, but I majored in Accounting and computer programming. :) Some of what you said is true, but the reason wages are depressed is due to ILLEGAL ALIENS. It has always been a source of wage depression. Especially where it is most prevalent. 65% home ownership? Are you nuts? That is FAB! (fabulous) That is the best we have ever been. You, my friend, have fallen for the lib line. Do you realize that our poor have at least 1 car, 1 TV, a microwave oven, etc. on average? Now, you go to Darfur, Sudan where civilians there are fighting just to stay alive without being sold into slavery, raped, tortured, or murdered. WE ARE TOO WELL OFF. We do not appreciate what we have. We just have to have more. I thank God for each and everything I have, but most of all, I thank God for my life….

My response:

Thanks for taking the time to write me once again. My life is so boring and meaningless, that I just wait for people to email me.

Your economic jargon is very confusion. For the non-academics here I will explain it to them. A Bull Market is a marketplace in Spain where Bulls are sold. Usually Bulls are auctioned off to the highest bidder, and then the buyer either submits their bull to torture for their own pleasure or slaughters it for food.

I too have several college degrees. I have six in fact covering the areas of: Business Administration, Sociology, History, Medical Imaging Technology, Nutrition, and Operating Room Surgery. I got them through the University of Phoenix. They were cheap too! Unfortunately most places do not accept online degrees as proper credentials so I haven’t been able to get a job in those fields.

Most people are familiar with aliens (those funny little green creatures that come down in space ships from other planets). I did some research into this subject matter, and found out for an alien to come to our planet, they have to first apply for a permit from the Earth Council Government. Unfortunately this takes years, and as a result most fly in late at night into rural areas where few will see them. These aliens that come from outer space without the proper credentials are illegal aliens. Oddly enough most of these illegal aliens get jobs in Washington as government officials. For reasons beyond me, illegal aliens are trying to destroy our economy so they legislate to set lower wages with the power they have as politicians.

I have not been able to visit other countries to see their living conditions because of an unfortunate incident at the airport which has barred me from ever flying again. To this day, I maintain my innocence that I was unaware my suitcase was full of drugs.

I agree people here are too well off. People shouldn’t have a TV at all, even if you are well off. TV is evil, it’s a vessel through which Washington politicians (illegal aliens) submit subliminal messages to control our minds. Microwaves are evil too, because they weaken our ozone layer. The ozone layer is the only thing preventing Mars from zapping us with a laser.

This should clear some things up for anyone who is confused.

Cheating is fun
Tuesday, April 05, 2005 - 11:42 AM
Morris,

To make a long story short, I'm in a long-term relationship and my ex is coming into town soon. I really want to sleep with him, my current boyfriend knows it, and I probably will. Is it still considered cheating if the other person knows you're going to do it anyways?

Thanks,

Harvey (Big Fan)

Harvey,

Thanks for being a “Big Fan”! It all depends on how you define “cheating”. I consider cheating to be committing a sexual act with someone else without the permission of your current long term partner. So if your boyfriend says not to sleep with your ex, then you will be cheating. I would ask his permission first. Another thing to consider is the repercussions of your act. Would your boyfriend dump you for sleeping with another person? If so, is it worth breaking up the relationship you have worked so hard to maintain? These are all questions you should be asking yourself. If your partner is okay with you sleeping with someone else, then this opens the door to having an “open” relationship. Meaning you and your partner can sleep with other people, and still be seeing each other. Lots of couples do this, to add more sexual excitement to their life. If I were in a similar position to yours, I would sleep with a former girlfriend any chance I got even if it meant ruining a current relationship. In the end all relationships break up, so you are just speeding up the process.

Economics Lesson
Tuesday, April 05, 2005 - 08:20 AM
If you have rising inflation, growing deficit, lower wages, lower unemployment, 65% home ownership (part of growing deficit (hint, hint), lower welfare rolls, 3% average profit margin, and 5.2 unemployment, what kind of economy do you have?

That’s a very interesting question. It sounds like the current state of the United State’s economy. Allow me to explain: Inflation is rising because the American dollar is being devalued as the Mexican Peso is becoming more economically sound. Mexico is rumored to overtake the United States economically by the year 2005. After years of being stereotyped as being lazy drunks, the Mexicans decided to finally do something with their country. Lower wages can be explained by all of our outsourcing of jobs to the lowest bidder overseas. However this is more then an economic reason, foreign people are just better at making expensive designer clothing, clothes, and anything else for some reason. Home ownership can be easily explained; more and more homeless people are getting cardboard boxes and living in them. Less people are on welfare because the laws governing it have become stricter. The number of poor people have not decreased, just the number of people scamming the system have. Profit margin is so low, because of companies like Walmart are setting lower prices in hoping to make it up in volume. Consumers love the low prices, however the manufactures hate it. The unemployment is so low, because people have turned to crime as an occupation. I’m not talking about more people going into politics. I am saying, less people claim they are unemployed because they are earning a living through illegal means (prostitution, loan sharking, gambling, etc).

I hope that answers your question. Although I’m sure an economist could better answer your question, but one’s not here right now, you will have to make due with me.

I NEED YOUR QUESTIONS!!!
Monday, April 04, 2005 - 11:43 AM
I appreciate your interest in my site. However for it to continue, you need to send your questions in to me. They can be questions about relationship problems, or just general fact questions. Or if you want to insult me, you can do that also. If you don't send me your questions I am going to have to start writting long rambling entries ;)

Have a great week, and hopefully I will be hearing from some of you.

The jerk
Friday, April 01, 2005 - 06:44 AM
I am really good friends with this girl. I have a huge crush on her. We used to talk like all the time, school started, now she has a boy friend. A real jerk. He is crazy. What am I supposed to do?

thanks,
jim

Jim,

There are several approaches you can take here. It all depends how dirty you want to get your hands (figuratively speaking).

Option 1: Tell her how you feel. This is about the WORST thing you can do! Let me repeat myself, letting her know how you feel is the last thing you want to do at this point. Reserve telling her how you feel for later on (I will explain about this further down). If she felt the same way about you, she would have made some kind of sign at some point, whether it was flirting of some kind, etc. You could have missed that sign. She could have chosen this boyfriend because she is mad at you for some reason. Possibly she grew frustrated because you never made a move on her. This is her way of getting back at you. Playing Mr. Obvious here won’t help you either. I’m sure she knows her boyfriend is a jerk, so pointing it out to her, will not do any good. If anything, expressing objections about her boyfriend will only strain what remains of the “friendship” between her and you. Telling her how you feel will just unleash the wrath of her boyfriend on you. I really don’t think you want to get the crap beaten out of you.

Option 2: Find someone else to objectively tell her that she is in a bad relationship. This is tricky because it has to look like you had no involvement in this. If you have overlapping friends this might be a good place to start. Usually other females have stronger influence in giving relationship advice to another female. If you tell your friend she deserves better, it’s leading you to say I’m better then the jerk, and she will simply laugh at that. If she hears it from someone that he is a jerk and your name doesn’t come up, then it should not hurt your tattered friendship. Assuming the girl breaks up with the jerk because of this, it allows for your friendship to be rekindled. You can then continue to get that warm feeling from talking to her. It would be your choice whether or not to tell her how you feel once she is free. Some people may consider this method cowardly.

Option 3: Wait for the golden opportunity. This is what I would say is the best method, but the longest to accomplish and the most painful because you have to wait. At your young age relationships will expire, so it’s just a matter of time. When it happens, you be there for her. She will need a shoulder to cry on, and your history as friends, you are a likely candidate. She will be going through emotional problems at the time of breakup, so she will be very vulnerable, looking for someone to fill that emotional void. While she is crying her eyes out, you can try to improve her self-esteem by complimenting her on things. Emotional ties will develop from sharing this traumatic experience, and she will mistake this, and think she is in love with you. This is when you can ask her out, because she will definitely say yes. Some people may say this is taking advantage of a situation.

Option 4: Speed option 3 up by doing something underhanded. This has to be carefully accomplished; otherwise if your cover is blown she will hate you forever. Do something to break her relationship up. I can’t suggest you do anything illegal. I would persuade another girl to have a “fling” with the jerk. And make sure you are able to document it, by taking pictures or having a friend (has to be someone other then you) witness it. Once your friend finds out, you can put into play the rest of Option 3, where comforting of her eventually leads into a relationship. Depending on what your moral scruples are, I would hold off on using this option.

I’m a cold heartless bastard so I would jump to option 4 right away. However I suggest going with option 2, and resorting to option 3 if needed. Good luck!

The curious incident in the restroom
Thursday, March 31, 2005 - 01:27 AM
Dear Morris,

Yesterday I walked in on my brother accidentally while he was in the restroom urinating. Although I didn’t see anything, I feel this has created an awkward situation between us, and he no longer wants to be in the same room as me alone. How can I talk to him, what can I say to make things go back to normal?

Justin R.

Justin,

Chances are your brother does not care that you walked in on him. He most likely does not want to be in the same room as you because he does not like you. If you follow him around he will hate you even more for being pest. Just let him be and maybe in 10 years he will not hate you as much.

Math Class Worries
Thursday, March 31, 2005 - 01:25 AM
Dear Morris,

Yesterday in math class, my teach singled me out to write the answer to a math question on the board. I got nervous, and put the chalk in my mouth while I was trying to solve the problem. It took me a few seconds to realize what happened and everyone laughed. Worst of all the teacher sent me to the school nurse and she made me drink milk of magnesia to empty my stomach out. Now everyone in class laughs at me whenever the teacher writes something on the board. What can I do to regain the respect of my classmates?

-Worried in Alabama

I have three words for you......you fucked up.....simple as that. All you can hope for is that your classmates have very short memories, or that your father gets transferred to another city and you have to change schools. In life there a certain events you cannot overcome, this is one of them.

To tell a friend or not?
Thursday, March 31, 2005 - 01:24 AM
Dear Morris

Last week I was spending the night over at a friend’s house. We were up in my friend’s room, and i went downstairs to grab a few more sodas. I happened to see in the kitchen my friend’s father fondling the breasts of his 23 year old foreign exchange student staying with them. It deeply disturbed me to see him doing this to her. They didn’t see me, and I ran backup stairs quickly. I didn’t tell my friend what happened, but I am concerned if I should or not

You hypocrite, how would you feel if i told your mom what you and your sister were doing during your “yoga” sessions. You have your fun, why would you ruin someone elses? You are an inconsiderate bastard, don’t write again.

Thanks for the link
Wednesday, March 30, 2005 - 12:19 PM
All Things Christie was nice enough to link to me, as a return favor here is a link back: All Things Christie