I was recently asked by a former colleague if I would recommend a tough love boot camp for children with behavior problems. After researching several of these camps, I would definitely have serious reservations. Here’s why.

They came at four-thirty in the morning, two burly men wearing cowboy hats. Crashing open the door to James’ bedroom they grabbed him from his bed and threw him face down on the floor, pulling his hands hard behind his back and securing them with rough rope “handcuffs.” It was useless for him to struggle because each man weighed well over 250 and both were well-muscled. They dragged James from his room out to the front door. A car was out front with the motor running ready for a get-away.

Despite the early morning surprise attack and the binding of the boy’s hands, this was no kidnapping. It wasn’t even a crime. The boy’s mother knew the men were coming. After having unlocked the front door for the men, she went to her bedroom and stayed there hearing her son scream and beg her to please help him. Under instructions from the men, she did not answer or open her bedroom door. She knew what was taking place because she had called a “tough love boot camp” to come and straighten out her 15 year-old son. She condoned the entire situation.

James begged them to unbind his hands. They agreed to do so only when he understood that, if they took off the handcuffs, he had to strip down to his underwear and walk bare-footed to the car. That was the way James left his house, was placed in a car, and driven to the airport to board a private plane that would take him to the boot camp in Utah.

There seems to be a trend among parents who feel they need outside help to “control” their own children. The “tough love boot camps” advertised on the Web and in certain magazines seem to be an answer. They take over the roles of disciplinarian and moral leader that should be assigned to the parents.It is perfectly legal in the United States of America for parents to have their children taken to one of these camps, rough handling and humiliation notwithstanding.

Educators should take note.Parents are giving the names and school addresses of their children's teachers to camp administrators. Teachers are then sent "disciplinary problem" form letters asking them to identify "problem behavior." Their letters are used as a statement of agreement that the child has a behavioral problem. I would strongly advise teachers not to fill out anything unless it is discussed with their principal first. Any innocent assessment of a minor problem can be misquoted or taken out of context to the detriment of the child.

One such camp was brought to my attention by one of my readers, James’ uncle who is also a teacher. He eventually found out that his nephew was unwillingly being held at Storm Ridge Ranch in Utah. If you look this ranch up on the Web you will be fooled into thinking that it is a vacation spot. If you read between the lines you can see that it is not.

It bills itself as a “working ranch for boys” and has a policy detailing a “treatment plan” that deals with “bio-psycho-social” growth. Their boys, they say, are ones who have behavioral problems. These problems range from drugs to academic problems and are blamed on the “seeming decline in strong family values and social conflicts. The boys are strictly monitored all waking hours with frequent bed checks during the night. For all intents and purposes it is a youth detention center. Rough treatments and constraints are the norm in taking unwilling boys to the ranch.

The humiliation of being handcuffed or being forced to strip down to your underwear is appalling. Being taken away from your home by force, with the knowledge that struggling may bring rougher treatment, can be compared to Gestapo tactics. Having “supervisors” watch your every move with no communication with the outside world until you “prove yourself worthy” is indeed the same as being imprisoned.

Unless the behavior problem is severe, (drugs, violence), I am hesitant to recommend a tough love boot camp. Here’s why. James was not a behavior problem. His “problem” was that he was dyslexic and had never been diagnosed. His mother was told that he was lazy and had no interest in school. She took it as a sign of rebellion when he became angry and refused to do schoolwork. He was angry because he had difficulty reading. Other methods should have been used before having him taken in what is essentially a commando raid.

Before subjecting your child to this treatment exhaust every option available.
With the best intentions in the world, there is the danger of abuse of authority, of brutal treatment at a tough love camp. In the best case scenario it is still a form of imprisonment. You can label it what you will but the words “tough” and “love” do not belong together.