Alias: The Jaws Of Death

Instrument: Guitar

Age: Pi x 10^2 1,000,000

Date of birth: My birthday

Home planet: Ennui

Height: Taller then Oderus

Weight: 12 tons fully dressed; 98lbs in a towel

Eye color: ?

Favorite color: Fusha

Favorite T.V. show: The Preview Guide

Last book read: The Tailhook Report

Last book written: The Kama Sutra II

Hobbies: Contemplating suicide, learning to like myself

Last raped orifice: The car of a GWAR fan

Favorite celebrity: God

When I get mad: I contemplate suicide

Dream or goal: Learn to like myself

Philosophy: "If all else fails, contemplate suicide"

Accomplishments: Getting out of bed this morning

What shames me: Me

On dates I like to: Contemplate suicide

Quote: "I am so very, very sorry"

BalSac writes songs by scratching his scrotum with his guitar. Prefers quadriplegics over blondes. Invented V.D. and has a bear-trap for a face.