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Band Bitch: An Indispensable Primer for the Devoted Female Fan
The Case
Episode II, A Brief Review

Adam Mathes

Friday, April 6, 2001
Filler Friday: Google Bombing

Today, uber readers, you have a chance to make history.

Or at least legitimize some new jargon I'm about to make up.

Today's jargon of the day is:


Google is unique among search engines in that while it almost always shows you pages that have the exact keywords you are looking for, occasionally it will show you pages that don't have those keywords, but other pages linked to that page with those words.

I first discovered this when searching for internet rockstar, which turned up Ben's page. At the time though, he did not actually have that phrase on his page however the legions of teeny-bopper blogger morons who linked to him always used that phrase in their links.

In a bizarre surreal bow to the power of perception on the web, what you say about a page becomes just as important as the actual content of the page. The page must be what other people say it is. That Google adheres to this rule and is by far the most effective search engine raises many interesting issues, none of which I will attempt to discuss or explicate.

Now Google is smart, simply having tons of the same links with the same phrase on a single page will do nothing. It requires a multitude of pages to have that link with specific link text. But this power can be harnessed with a concentrated group effort.

And it must be harnessed, and for one very important goal: make Andy "talentless hack" Pressman look stupid.

Here's how you can join in the first ever international google bombing:

1. Get a web site. If you already have a web site, you can skip this step. If not, be a cheap bastard and go Geocities, Angelfire, Pitas, whatever. I don't care. Everyone has something to say blah blah blah personal expression yadda yadda. Just remember the Google bombing.

2. Whenever you update your site, which should be approximately three to five times a week, be sure to include the following HTML at some point:

Andy <a href="">"talentless hack">/a< Pressman

3. Add your site to Google.

4. Wait for the magic to happen! Soon, whenever you type in talentless hack into google, you'll see Andy "talentless hack" Pressman smiling right back at you.

Adam Mathes loves Google


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