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Secret Seed (idea #142)
Category: Technology / Biomedical
Target Audience: Sperm bank, IVF, and cryogenics companies.
Description: Has a generation of Political Correctness eroded fundraising income for your college secret society? Thankfully, you have other endowments to draw upon. Secret Seed is a private consultancy dedicated to helping elite secret societies (Skull and Bones, Scroll and Key, etc.) realize their economic and genetic potential by establishing ancillary operations as exclusive sperm banks. You'll "do well by doing good" -- gaining a significant new source of revenue, for wild, lavish parties and other expenses, while benefiting future generations with greater expression of your society's superior genes.
Getting started is easy! Many aspects of secret society life and architecture migrate naturally to
the sperm bank industry: The all-important screening process, the secret entranceways and
private chambers, the special sense of masculine comraderie and destiny. Members-only occult
rituals may be sexualized with impunity, to exploit their donation value. Meanwhile, Secret Seed
will take care of all the technical details, from constructing a small, state-of-the-art cryogenics
lab in your headquarters building or "tomb," to administering the business and scientific sides of
the operation. College-age men are in the biological prime of their life as potential sperm donors,
so don't waste this opportunity-- it's a moral imperative upon which the fate of humanity may rest!
And who knows what the brave new future of genetic/eugenic commerce will bring? Perhaps
our species will be guided by powerful, multinational gene banks, and the fact that they started
out as college secret societies will simply be a bit of interesting historical trivia.
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