US Muslim comics poking fun at themselves and others
By Khalid Hasan
WASHINGTON: There is a new phenomenon on the American comedy scene: the Muslim
comic, a growing fraternity made up of both men and women, who let their
audience laugh at their expense and that of their religion, or rather its
popular tabloid image.
A report in the Los Angeles-based publication ‘Pakistan Link’ by
Ras H. Siddiqui introduces the journal’s readers to Muslim-American
comedian Azhar Usman who is preceded on the stage by a man called
Osama, a name that causes a certain amount of amusement. It also
happens that the man’s name actually is Osama Hassoun and he comes
from Sacramento.
Both men are tall, Chicago-born Azhar Usman, who is of Indian origin,
being six foot two. Their standing next to each other, at least
one of them sporting a flowing beard and no moustache, causes much
laughter among the Pakistani-American audience, peppered by the
odd “American-American.” Usman has a law degree but prefers to
be a comic. According to the ‘Pakistan Link’ report, “His stand-up
routine has already found acclaim in the press in North America
and Britain.” His act is influenced mainly by African-American
and Hispanic comedians, along with those from India and Pakistan,
including Johnny Lever and Moin Akhtar. He has recently teamed
up with fellow comedians Preacher Moss and Azeem in an act called ‘Allah
Made Me Funny: the official Muslim comedy tour’ which is currently
going from city to city.
Ras Siddiqui writes, “Starting off with Salamalaikum and what it
means, he (Azhar Usman) started off by making comparisons of how
various ethnic groups pronounce this and other Muslim greetings.
The Pakistani-Indian ‘desi’ version got a very strong response.
Azhar also commented on the late start of most South Asian events.
He linked it to some of the confusion created by the Urdu language
where the word ‘kal’ means both yesterday and tomorrow and the
word ‘parsoon’ translates to both the day after tomorrow and the
day before yesterday. He made fun of many Muslim and South Asian
traits, accents and cultural oddities. He delved into many political
and social issues and the upcoming US presidential elections where
the economy and foreign policy will both be of prime concern to
the Muslim voter.”
Azhar Usman made fun of Muslim conferences at which where year
after year after year, they talk about Muslim participation in
the American political process. He quoted one Muslim speaker, who
in an emotional speech to one such gathering, said, “We need more
Muslim politicians. We need more Muslims in the media. We need
more Muslim policy-makers.” When someone asked him, “What about
you uncle? And you who have three sons. What do they do?” “Mashallah,” replied
the speaker, “They are all doctors.” Azhar Usman also caused much
merriment when he described Muslims travelling by plane these days. “Imagine
me walking on a plane. It’s not a pretty sight. People give me
some dirty looks, man … as if I was responsible for 9/11. Can you
believe that, me responsible for nine-eleven? Seven-Eleven maybe.” Seven-Eleven
is the name of a nationwide chain of mall utility stores, many
of them run by immigrants.
In another routine, Azhar Usman said, “I don’t know if you guys
heard. Some Arab kids got picked up at the airport, just because
they had a geometry textbook, some rulers and a stencil. Yeah,
charged with possessing Weapons of Math Instruction (WMI).” On
riding a taxi in Chicago driven by a somewhat surprised white man
whom Azhar Usman, the passenger tells, “I’m sorry man, nobody told
you? Today is opposite day.” Normally, it is Pakistanis and Indians
who drive taxis, especially in Chicago and New York. He said black
people were always saying that a black man can never get a fair
trial in America, but these days Arabs and Muslims are walking
around saying, “We can’t even get a trial in America, man.” To
those who say that Islam was spread by the sword, Azhar Usman’s
response was, “Maybe if Islam was cream cheese spread on a bagel
with a knife.”
Writes Ras Siddiqui, “Azhar Usman is a great stand up comic. He
does not make fun of our religion, but he does comment a great
deal on its followers. The most conservative amongst us need not
get offended, but we know they will. So will some non-Muslims who
have made targeting Islam a hobby in this country since 9/11.”