GENERAL
What is Golden Words?
How did Golden Words start?
I’m super old and I used to go to Queen’s, do you have an archive of old issues online?
Where can I get a print copy of GW?
What’s a crest?
I'd like to comment or complain about something in the paper. What can I do?
What is GWERB?

THE PAPER
What’s an editorial?
What’s the deal with the hippo?
What’s the deal with that bald guy?
Who is this grabbers guy?
What happened to Dogguy?

SUBMISSIONS
How can I contribute to Golden Words?
I’m not an engineer can I still be a part of Golden Words?
Do I need experience?
When should I show up?
What goes on during Pressnite?
How do I place an ad in GW?
How do I submit a TIFR?
If don't want to write, is there something else I can do for the paper?
Do I need experience to help with graphics or layout?

GENERAL

A: Golden Words is a weekly humour newspaper produced by the Engineering Society of Queen’s University at Kingston. It is the only weekly humour newspaper in Canada.

A: In January 1967, a small group of Queen's engineering students put out the first issue of Golden Words. It wasn't much more than a newsletter in those days but gradually it grew and took form and before long it was the Media Giant that it is today.

A: The only archives we keep are a series of bound issues. We have a copy in our office and Queen's Archives have a copy. You're welcome to come in and have a look at our copies if ever you're in Kingston.

A: 9000 copies of Golden Words are distributed free on campus every Wednesday. Paid subscriptions are available - details here. http://www.goldenwords.net/subscrip.php

A: The GW crest is a badge given to staffers after they have made a significant contribution to the paper. Generally the crest is sewn onto the breast of a Queen's jacket, or other beloved item. There is also a painted crest on campus between Mac-Corry and Harrison LaCaine. Before the advent of the internet, staffers would meet at the crest prior to social functions (eg: parties).

A: All complaints and comments can be sent to the editors at editors@goldenwords.net. If you're not satisfied with the resolution of your complaint, or if you would like to lodge a formal complaint you need to contact the Chair of the Golden Words Editorial Review Board (GWERB). A new chair is elected every year, the contact details are located in the masthead section of the paper.

A: GWERB is the Golden Words Editorial Review Board. GWERB is composed of the VP (Services) of EngSoc, two faculty members, one member with experience in published humor, one member of the local media, two members of the Golden Words Masthead, one member from the Engineering Society Review Board, The Golden Words Operations Manager and The Golden Words Business Manager in an ex-officio, non-voting role. They meet at the beginning of the year to approve the editorial policy drafted by the editors. GWERB has the power to mandate printed apologies and suspend the editors.

A: A piece of writing that is so powerful, pithy, witty and succinct that it is sometimes mistaken for a passage from the Bible.

A: The hippo first appeared on October 2, 1974. Tradition has it that the Hippo (the animal with the thickest skin) was first printed on the editorial page with the bold slogan “I’m tough!” as a simple – yet defiant – response to GW’s detractors at a time when the paper was seriously under fire for something-or-other.

A (as told by Miss Kingston Pen '93): One day, as I remember it, Phreakshow was using an online search engine to find an image to include with an article in that week's upcoming issue. I don't know if he ran a search for bald guys or what, but the end result was that an image of the Bald Guy - without the accompanying dog - was returned by the search engine.

Then Phreakshow went "Hey, look at this Bald Guy! This is hilarious for some reason! Let's put him in every single God damned issue for the rest of the year!" And inexplicably, that's what he did.

Fucking Bald Guy, man. I just don't get it.

ADDENDUM: The exact search parameter was "tough looking bald guy"

A: An article is attributed to grabbers if it is worked on by four or more staffers. Alternatively grabbers is used by writers who are too embarrased by an article to put their own fake name on it.

A: Dogguy was written by Mike Jones (Editor Vol 36). He killed off the character when he left the paper as is common for many recurring GW comic characters. Old Dogguy strips can be found here: http://www.oblivion.net/htp/dogguy/ SUBMISSIONS

A:The best way is to come in to pressnite. You don’t need to have anything written just come and soak up the atmosphere.

A: Yes.

Q: Really?

A: Yes!

A: No experience is needed to be a writer, just show up and bring the funny. We've got a list of 'Tips and Tricks' for new writers

A: The best time to show up is around one o'clock pm. That's when things get going around here, and you should still be able to snag a computer.

A:
11:00 - Tavis and I arrive at engsoc, we'll complain to each other that engsoc is a big mess and that we don't have good speakers. I'll print off some forms.
12:00 - Nobody shows up. Tavis and I whine at each other because this is when people are supposed to come.
1:00 - Writers begin to show up. So does the pizza. People eat pizza and play foosball. Tavis and I begin to get a bit worried, because we have no articles.
1:30 - The first articles come in! They are usually ones written during the week. We read the articles while people hang out, throw candy around, eat candy and maybe play foosball. (we have candy!). A sacred few work on articles.
2:00 - The graphics people arrive. They ask if we have a cover yet. We say no. They are disappointed.
2:30 - We get back to the first articles submitted, for re-writes etc... More articles come in.
3:00 - Graphics asks about the cover again. Still nothing. They are getting anxious. We read more articles, make suggestions, complain that there's no news of the world.
4:00 - By now we have a few articles ready to print and we desperately need some colour material. Graphics asks about the cover, still nothing. Some writers leave after their articles are approved.
5:00 - Layout arrives. It turns out we only have one page ready to go. They start that and work on the back page. We still don't have a cover and the graphics people are making death threats.
6:00 - We come up with a great idea for a cover, but it's too late to take pictures and/or we can't find a high res picture of Chuck Norris. The idea is canned. We have a bunch of articles that we like and layout is going with a full head of steam. The content is mostly finalized at this point.
7:00 - Pizza comes again! All work stops and foosball resumes.
8:00 - We come up with an idea for the cover over pizza. Graphics is pleased.
9:00 - 11:00 - This is kind of a black hole. I'm never sure where this part of the night goes. Possibly I pass out? Generally by now all the writers have left except the staff writers. The cover is finished. It looks great!
11:00 - Pizza comes again!
12:00 - Tavis and I begin to write our editorials. Layout works away on the rest of the paper and the copy editors arrive.
4:00-6:00 - The paper is finished. We burn the mock-up Oh god it's late.
8:30 - I'm asleep; missing my lasers class.

You need to contact the business manager (biz@goldenwords.net). The ad deadline is Friday at 5:00. Check out the website http://goldenwords.net/advertising.php for info on rates and ad sizes. Also, there are discount rates for campus organizations.

A: Nobody really knows.

A: Our graphics and layout people can always use some extra help. Just show up and they'll set you to work right away. After you grab some pizza, that is.

A: If you know how to use Adobe Photoshop, Illustrator or InDesign, that's great. If you don't, that's great, too. We'll dig up someone to teach you.

Q: Like, actually dig up someone? From underneath the earth?

A: Hey, it's cheap labour. We just feed them the brains of failed writers. And besides, their teaching can't be any duller than the lectures your organic chemistry profs give, right?