Ask Great Granny 2

Ask Great-Granny

Great Granny is a mother, grandmother, and great granny to a large family. Send your questions by clicking HERE, Great Granny will provide thoughtful suggestions to help you solve your problems, and you will remain anonymous.

Some of the questions sent to Great Granny have been sorted into categories and are listed with her answers below.

Creative Commons License
        Licensed under a Creative Commons License.

One Man; Two Women
(the book)
Based on "Ask Great Granny" ‹
the on-going computer-mediated phenomenon.

Mothers and wives generally learn early to live and let live, for the benefit of the men they care for. But also sprinkled profusely about the population are those who can't manage the generosity of spirit needed for such co-operation. These are the people about whom the tired old "mother in law" jokes are written, and who send letters to advice columnists for help. This book is based on letters from mothers and wives who haven't yet figured out how to manage their delicate relationship.

The reader will not agree with all the suggestions made by Great Granny in her replies to letters she receives. They are not intended as directions or rules of procedure, just random ideas to help troubled people think through their own problems. Many alternate solutions come to mind and in thinking through these other ideas, the best for each individual case might be found. Most mature women, and the wives of their sons, are able to achieve good relations for the sake of the man they both love, and all the other family members involved. This book is dedicated to those who are still working on it.

Available:
Baico Publishing,
71 Des Camélia, Gatineau, Que. J9J 2G1
E-mail the author,
At bookstores: ask for ISBN 1-894494-84-9
$14.95

Parents

My children are frustrated with their grandfather.

Distressed about aging parents.

My mother is trying to control my life.

Young mother's thoughtless divorced parents.

About honouring our mothers.

Father in neck-brace needs something to do.

Parents won't let me smoke.

Have retired parents lost love?

Can't communicate with parents about job search.

Looking for Internet service for in laws.

Lonely looking after 82 year old mother.

87 and quite senile, acts irresponsibly.

Let deceased parents go; concentrate on family.

Getting married soon, parents don't approve.

Borderline senile and quite demanding father.

Problems with my parents and my boyfriend.

Mom thinks Dad has Alzheimers.

Parents have retirement money, but live very poorly.

I want to move, but I'm tied by my 82 year old Father.

Should I continue to let my father abuse me?

My Father is driving me crazy! What can I do?

I'm worried about my Mother's relationship with a married man.

How do I convince my parents that my boyfriend & I are responsible?

90 year old mother has a gigolo.

Should I meet my biological father?

My boyfriend's 88 yr old Mother wants us to baby sit her constantly.

How do I tell my parents I'm getting married?

When is it ever right to cut one's mother out of one's life?

Should I tell my Father what I think of his new "Girl friend"?

My Father is doing everything to disrupt my wedding plans. What should I do?

My Mother does not approve of the man that I have been seeing.

My parents are totally besotted with my son of 3 and his mother.

I'm a 32 year old woman who's trying to divorce myself from my parents.

My Mother "needs me to be the mother to her children."

My 97 year old Father is on his own now, but refuses to move from his home.

I HAVE NEVER IN MY LIFE EVER SEEN A GRANDMOTHER LIKE HER.

My Mother has upset me deeply by cancelling a Christmas visit.

I find my Mother hasn't kept a confidence. Should I confront her with this?

I love my Mum, but not this part of her.

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Young children

Children's friend is rude and mean.

Girl friend's daughter tells lies.

Two 1/2 year old will not settle to new day care.

Four year old bites nails. Nanny distraught.

Six year old throws up to get her way.

Two year old eats only Cheerios, bananas, crachers.

My two-year-old is driving me crazy.

Can't baby to go to sleep alone.

Son's playmates are rude, crude, and disrespectful.

Husky infant wants more food and won't sleep through.

What to tell 4 year old about her drug addicted father.

Baby seems to be slow developing.

Tried everything with nailbiting toddler.

I am an emotional wreck between job and new baby!

Hot headed two-year-old.

A very sensitive little girl.

Don't want her to be hurt again.

Baby wants formula in cup, not bottle.

Guests with rude children.

Raising other people's children.

Potty problems with three year old.

Must we send our child to preschool?

Three-year-old is precocious and spoiled.

Should I feed baby chocolate?

Bedtime routine is awesome.

Can't wash baby's hair.

Is my child crying "wolf"?

My 3 year old says he doesn't like his father.

How can I get my baby to go to sleep?

4 year old child with psychic abilities.

A very strong-willed 20 month old baby.

Bad behaving children!

To have children or not.

She WAS a happy little girl.

I'm afraid my In-laws will spoil my daughter's birthday party.

How can I tell my child her grandmother is dying?

Three year old son acting up since arrival of new brother.

Second son is hard to understand - is it because he is the second?

Will biting back cure a 2 1/2 yr old of biting?

My six year old daughter is upset because her Father doesn't visit.

My 12 year old daughter is upset by her Mother's lack of interest.

Why does 2 year old chew on hair?

My 5 year old daughter has turned disobediant since starting pre-school.

How can I get my 3 and 4 year old kids to sleep through the night?

My two year old daughter puts rocks in her mouth!!

How do I make a 5 year old comply?

Is this "normal" behaviour for a three year old girl?

The teacher doesn't understand how to handle my daughter.

I don't think two young boys should sleep in the same bed.

I am having a hard time disciplining my three year old.

My daughter of four 1/2 years is distancing herself from her grandparents.

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Older children

Children who take advantage.

Unruly 14 Year Old Daughter.

Son and DIL rejecting our company.

Daughter seems to resent my efforts.

Son wore gym shoes to uncle's funeral.

My son's mother in law is taking him over.

Adult children still think we have favourites.

Only child wants to be a good parent.

Daughter's internet boy friend.

Only child is a difficult 14 year old!

My problem is a very mouthy 12 year old boy.

Daughter leading double, self-destructive life.

One son is wonderful, other son breaks my heart.

Stressed child has work, children and silent spouse.

Our grown children think we should be contributing to their income.

Stepdaughter, who is "Trouble" wants to move back with us.

My son won't get out of bed in the morning - he's always late for school.

My daughter's grades are falling. What can I do?

What can I do to stop my son from smoking "pot"?

My two daughters fight all the time. What can I do?

Our son won't spend enough time for us to get to know our grandson.

My daughter is a single Mom. Am I an "enabler" for her?

I want to give my son another chance, but can't decide what is best.

19 year old son won't socialize.

My children don't take me seriously.

Catholic daughter married to Jewish husband.

My daughter wants nothing to do with her parents. What can we do?

How can I not worry about my 18 year old daughter's problems?

My daughter's whole life is her husband and HIS family.

Our daughter is having an affair with a married man. What can we do?

My in laws have a destructive influence on my son.

My older children don't like my new husband. What can I do?

My son has told me that he blames me for "ruining his young life"

19 year old single daughter has 2 kids and expecting another. I want her out.

14 year old sons threaten to leave if I move in with my boy friend.

Our son pays no rent and buys no food for baby or himself.

My 17 year old daughter wants a car and I can't afford it. Help!

My 22 yr old son contributes nothing, won't get a job, and won't leave home. Help!

My daughter is a family trouble maker. She lies and generally "stirs" it.

My son and his girlfriend are uncontrollable. Any advice?

My son is always getting into trouble. What can I do?

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Son's girlfriend

Son's girlfriend is too old for him!

My son's girlfriend is cruel to his "other" children.

My son's girlfriend lies and cheats and takes advantage of him.

My son's fiancee expects my granddaughter and me to make all the changes.

My son's fiancee assumes how thing are in my home without asking.

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Grandparents

Our kids use us as free baby-sitters.

My father-in-law is cruel to grandchildren.

Grandmother wants more time with grandson.

Grandma wants to be called 'Mama'.

Mexican grandmother getting no respect.

Stereotyping other generations.

Caregiver needs to take charge.

Widowed grandmother's mental health.

Should my grandmother go to a nursing home?

Problems with Grandmother.

Why don't grandparents have any rights?

Should "Abusive" grandparents visit the grandchildren unsupervised?

I don't think my Grandmother wants anything to do with me.

Ideas for Christmas present for Great Granny.

Grandparents as child care volunteers.

How can we help Granny before she hurts herself?

What to call the Grandparents??

More on what to call the Grandparents.

My grandsons' other Grandparents have custody,.. not willing to meet half way.

What are other names for grandmother?

I don't consider my husband's step mother to be my daughter's grandmother.

Do you know of a poem about Grandparents?

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Grandchildren

My grandchildren are lacking the love and attention they need.

Retired couple forced to raise granddaughter.

Showing favouritism divides the family.

Grandchildren fight over shared toys.

Wants to see one grandchild, without the others.

Denied access to granddaughter.

My grandson is eating only one meal a day. Is that healthy?

What will my grandchild call me?

My two year old granddaughter creates a terrible scene when I leave. Help!

What should our child call the grandparents?

"How do I develop a closer, more meaningful relationship with my grandkids?"

My grandson is allowed (by his parents) to trash my house.

Grandson has reached the "I don't want to" stage. What can we do?

Granddaughter is being subjected to terrible environment by her parents.

We have custody of our grandson - will visits from the parents affect him?

The mother of our grandson won't let us "bond" with him. Should we take her to court?

My son objects to me disciplining his son.

My son takes my grandson to scary movies. I don't think this is right.

My daughter's in laws see more of my grandson than I do.

Son in law is abusive to my husband and I so we can't see our grandsons.

My "Grandson" isn't my son's child. I'm afraid he will reject me.

I'm concerned for my granddaughter because my DIL's children are on strong meds.

I have difficulty accepting my grandson's "illigitimate" child.

My grandson was molested by his father and no one will listen.

I rushed into buying a house nearer my grandsons, and it's still the wrong place!

My hubby wants the grandchildren ALL the time....I want a life!

My grandson, 2 years old bites,hits and pinches. What can we do?

My daughter & partner are breaking up. What should I do about the grandchildren?

How can we cope with the "Terrible twos" in our grandson?

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Daughter in law

Angry rude daughter in law.

Daughter in law seems to Hate me - won't talk.

Daughter in law suddenly refuses to visit.

I have a daughter in law from Hell!

Daughter-in-law refuses to let us see our only grandson.

Daughter in law left with my son's children.

Daughter in law tries to keep me from my granddaughter.

Cold shoulder from Daughter in law.

"I'm sick of being treated this way, but I love my grandson."

How can I get my daughter in law to include us in their family?

Daughter-in-law takes no interest in household duties. Should I speak to her?

How should a DIL/SIL address their inlaws? "Mom & Dad" or by name?

The girl my son is marrying does not want any of our family at the wedding.

DIL "turned us off" when the babies were born.

My DIL and my son don't spend time with us since our granddaughter was born.

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Siblings

Brother's children are uncontrollable.

Alcoholic brother ruining mother's life.

Can spacing minimize sibling rivalry?

Close-knit family breaking apart.

I don't know if I can put up with my sisters and brother at family reunion.

My parents need a break from my older sister.

Neither my sisters or brother ever try to contact me.

How do I stay friendly with my sister but, not get taken in?

My sister in law is evicting us! What can we do?

My sister-in-law is driving me crazy. She's quite useless.

How do I tell my parents they are giving my sister too much?

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Boy friend

Unconventional family has in-law troubles too.

My boyfriend's mother hates me.

MY boyfriend's mother hates me too.

Boyfriend's mother too affectionate?

Problems with my parents and my boyfriend.

Should I dump my boyfriend?

My live in boyfriend clams up at the mention of marriage.

My boy friend won't get a divorce.

My boy friend fancies my mother.

My boyfriend wants me to wait for his wife to decide to leave him.

I'm crazy about this guy .... should I tell him?

My boyfriend is tied to his Mother's apron strings.

My boyfriend is a drug addict ex-con but I see him as more than that.

My boyfriend is jealous of my online friends and any male acquaintances.

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Girl friend

My girlfriend just told me she didn't want to see me anymore.

Love by telephone; is this a relationship?

My girlfriend can't forget her former boyfriend.

My girlfriend's parents think it's too soon for her to have another relationship.

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Husband

As his second wife, I'm treated as second class.

My older husband can't see how his parents offend me.

Husband's family critical, emotionally abusive.

Ex-spouse has an immediate girlfriend.

My husband likes to look at porn on the Internet and it's driving me crazy.

My Husband has moved in with his Mother. I want a divorce.

Can I stay with a husband that treats me this way?

I want him to be like he used to be.

My husband has "April" moods that are driving us apart.

My husband has moved out into our motor home to find himself!!

My husband wants harmony at all costs and I don't think that's possible.

My husband and I are going through divorce. My parents seem to be taking his side.

My SIL wants my husband to be a father figure for her son. I'm left out.

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Wife

My Wife has lost interest in intimacy.

Every time we disagree my wife moves back to her mother.

I've watched the relationship between my mother and my wife disintegrate.

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Lovelorn

My boyfriend doesn't want to go out with me any more. What can I do?

How long am I supposed to wait?

I'm involved with a married man who won't get a divorce. Help!

It upsets me that I do love this man but cannot have him come home. What to do.

My boyfriend was badly treated by his first wife, and can't trust ANYONE!

How do you let someone you care alot about down easy?

He has just left for the navy and I am very depressed.

My boyfriend broke up with me because Mom threw him out.

One day out of the blue, he broke up with me, but he keeps calling.

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Internet Partners

My internet chat partner is trying to control my internet activity.

My husband left me for an internet girlfriend.

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Sexual orientation

Mother is "heartbroken" because her son may be gay.

Worried because 3 year old son plays with dolls.

Gay over 40; should I tell my parents?

I'm in love with another woman. What can I do about husband and kids?

I'm 13 years old, how I should tell my parents that I'm gay.

My husband donated his sperm ..... my family is upset.

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Special topics

How can I help my sister with meddling in laws?

Father won't control his dogs.

Granny thinks deceased Grandad is still alive.

Becoming a grandparent for the first time.

Regaining family relationship after 25 years absence.

67 year old looking for partner in Perth, Australia.

20 yr old never met father, found his address on the web.

Found love in Texas, health insurance too high, help!

To leave husband to marry Internet soulmate.

Can see into their livingroom, and they into mine!

Why am I feeling so bored, unhappy and angry.

Moved to live with internet lover; feeling alienated.

85 years old and impotent but wife very sexual.

Just buried my wife, life is downhill, not worth living.

My car insurance was cancelled.

Comparing gender-roles from the past to today.

Caught between my children and my parents.

I am 45 years old and have no friends.

Is 'six' to old for a girl to be sleeping with her parents?

Mother of the Groom forgotten.

My son in law favours his Mother over his wife.

My lifelong friend is driving me "nuts" with her dieting obsession.

How can I control my temper? I'm driving my boyfriend away.

I don't like my son-in-law - I don't trust him.

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ACCLAMATION

In acclaiming Seniors Computer Information Project, Healthyways made special mention of "Great Granny" as follows:

Highlights: No question about it, Ask Great-Granny is a gem of an advice column. Great-Granny offers no-nonsense, common sense advice. No wonder she has letters coming in from all over. You can read the advice she's given to others or keep it private if you have something you need to ask her yourself.