FRONT PAGE | PAGE 2 | EDITORIAL | RELIGION | POLITICS | KILL BILL | CONSPIRACY THEORIST | GAY BLACK JEW?





warning



NOT FOR READERS UNDER 18
THE GAY BLACK JEW
CAN FREE YOUR MIND AND CLEANSE YOUR SOUL. THIS REQUIRES, HOWEVER, ADULT CONTENT, SATIRE AND EXTREME BLASPHEMY.


MOST UPDATES ARE IN EDITORIAL AND RELIGION SECTIONS


Links:

I'm white, but black people love me!

Rusty is a Homosexual

A funny site and more from the man nice enough to forward gayblackjew.com to me,
beerorkid.com
------------------------------------


INTERESTS/ HOBBIES OF THE GAY BLACK JEW


askmanic

'An unstable mind for an unstable world'


Contact




Nostradamus

In Aug. 1524:


'Five years after the millennium, a white, heterosexual atheist will pretend to be a dark-skinned Jewish fairy. He will develop a cult-like following.

Women will flock to him from around the world and he shall be pleasured by them constantly for the remainder of his years.'

 

There's only one Gay Black Jew. Don't be fooled by imitators like the Transgender Ethiopian Scientologist.com!



The Gay Black Jew:
Only for the most
discriminating readers



POPULAR LIES
UNPOPULAR TRUTHS
THE
GAY BLACK
JEW



Must-see TV on NBC
Thursday, starting
at 8: The Gay Black Jew



The Gay Black Jew is a subsidiary of Halliburton

 

TGBJlogo

WOULDN'T THIS LOGO MAKE A GREAT LINK GRAPHIC ON YOUR WEB SITE?

LOGO DESIGN BY
NORMAL BOB SMITH

 

Search The Gay Black Jew  


peaceful
THE GAY BLACK JEW FIGHT SONG


Terrorist Trades Promise of 72 Virgins
for Reality of One Filthy Whore

terrorist
Muhammed worships his filthy whore
in ritual he performs each day at 4 pm.

SECRET LOCATION, Somewhere in U.S.—“If there is a heaven, almost all the virgins are going to be fat and ugly,” former terrorist Muhammed Muhammed Al-Muhammed boldly claimed yesterday. “Osama doesn’t tell you that. But a good-looking woman, even if she’s dressed like a beekeeper, is going to have sex before she dies. So all the virgins in heaven old enough to have tits are probably fat and ugly. It’s really just a simple logic problem, I don’t see why more terrorists can’t figure it out.”

Muhammed seemed proud of his reasoning skills as he spoke. With his Ray-Bans, black leather jacket, faded jeans and no facial hair, he certainly didn't look like a terrorist. Muhammed continued, “Imagine if a terrorist actually does go to heaven and is greeted by 72 virgins. When he sees them it’s going to be like biting into a piece of toast in the morning you thought you had spread with apple butter, but had accidentally covered with rancid teriyaki sauce.”
CONTINUE STORY



Hummer Faces Stiff Competition
From New Dodge Blowjob

Dodge Blowjob
"Deep-down inside, every man wants a powerful and reliable Blowjob," Daimler Chrysler CEO claims.

Commercials for the new Dodge Blowjob begin airing tonight, and they take direct aim at a market segment currently dominated by one brand—GM’s Hummer. The 30-second spots begin with the massive 10,000 lb. Blowjob fighting to break loose from chains, engine roaring, as crowds gather. The ad tries to mimic a scene from Peter Jackson's King Kong remake, but doesn’t quite pull it off.
CONTINUE STORY



History Channel Reality Series
Will Make History

Cable channel hires 500 mercenaries to bring democracy to Gambia

mercenaries
These mercenaries, hired by the History Channel, can't wait to start killing some Gambians.

The History Channel is about to take reality TV to a whole new level. Gambia, the smallest country in Africa, will be invaded sometime in the next three months by a force of 500 mercenaries, hired by the cable channel, in a clever merger of history and reality. Camera crews are currently recording scenes in Gambia to establish a before invasion context for viewers.

History Channel program director Walt Harris was quick to defend the controversial new reality series. "Like the war in Iraq, the History Channel is engaged in a noble effort to bring the opportunities of democracy to suffering people in a distant land.
CONTINUE STORY


Gay Agenda Aims to Make
Everyone Gay!

usa_gay
For decades, gay teachers like these have been forcing good, straight kids to make an evil turn.

In 2004, Senator Tom Coburn (R-Ok) stood on the floor of the Senate and made an impassioned plea: “The gay community is the greatest threat to our freedom that we face today.” Most senators, with the notable exception of Tom Delay, dismissed Coburn’s comment as an ignorant, paranoid and homophobic rant.         

But it turns out that he was right. A two-year CIA investigation into the so-called “homosexual agenda” has uncovered startling details that support Coburn’s prophetic warning.  The gay agenda, it turns out, is hell-bent on making all Americans gay.
CONTINUE STORY



Still Weathering Racism
Jesse Jackson declares hurricane names racist

Fire
To atone for past meterological racism, Jackson suggests name honoring Rubin 'Hurricane' Carter.


Yesterday Jesse Jackson held a news conference to highlight what he sees as a racial disparity in hurricane names. “America has come a long way in erasing its racist past,” Jackson began.

“But every time there’s a hurricane, it’s a reminder of a tortured history of exclusion. No black hurricane names, ever. That’s racism.” With an unusually high number of hurricanes this season, the World Meteorological Organization ran out of names and is now using Greek symbols. CONTINUE STORY



NAMBLA Members Using Secret Code
"PABILF" comes up repeatedly in chat rooms

hurricane
NAMBLA member Tim Allen keeps his secret with special codes

The term pops up everywhere in discussion groups, private emails and chat rooms associated with the North American Man/Boy Love Association (NAMBLA): “PABILF.” These six letters have puzzled FBI investigators for five months. While the first three letters are almost certainly an acronym for “pre-adolescent boy,” the remaining three letters continue to be a mystery.

The FBI has noted similarities with the term �MILF,� or �Mother I�d Like to Fuck.�
CONTINUE STORY



National Museum of Nuclear Waste Opens in Nevada
Museum focus group found that Americans like 'things that glow'

nuclear
The glow from this spent reactor core was like being close to a gentle star.

Holybrooke, Nevada—The U.S. government spent $2.7 billion dollars in 2004 to keep nuclear waste safely contained and as far away from people as possible. Starting Monday, the government will charge $10 per person to get a close look at that same radioactive waste. Why? Because museum focus groups found that Americans like 'things that glow.'

For the press, the National Museum of Nuclear Waste opened its 8-inch thick steel doors yesterday in the sleepy town of Holybrooke, Nevada. Several dozen local residents picketed in front of the museum as the first visitors strolled in.

But the spirit of fun was in the air, and it was not to be denied by a few loud voices with signs. Soon the massive steel doors sealed out all the noise. Once my eyes adjusted, it was like a lava lamp and glow stick wonder world.
CONTINUE STORY



Methane-Powered Honda Runs on Compressed Cow Farts

fart car
Methane is sucked out, filtered and then compressed. Honda's prototype gets an impressive 5 miles per fart.

In the race to develop alternative fuels, hybrid and fuel cell cars have dominated recent discussions. But Honda, long known for innovative ideas, surprised everyone yesterday when they displayed a working prototype of a methane-powered car. A revolutionary laser ignition system, an electrostatic flatulence filter, and an unlikely breakthrough in dietary science made the big leap possible.

The ignition system and the filter were typical examples of Honda’s engineering prowess. But it was a new dietary supplement that allowed methane gas to even be considered as a viable fuel.
CONTINUE STORY



Scientist Recommends Nuking the Sun

soldier
Scientist Joshua Barton has a new approach to combat global warming.

“Everyone talking about global warming has blinders on,” Department of Energy scientist Joshua Barton said yesterday at the start of our interview at his home in Northern Virginia.

Barton has long had a reputation for thinking outside the box, and he certainly wasn’t boxed in when he got dressed yesterday morning. For the interview, he was wearing the upper half of a shiny suit of medieval plate mail armor and a faded, blue Speedo bathing suit. He also had what looked to be a small radio antenna duct-taped to his armor-plated left shoulder, with wires leading under his armor.

Barton made it clear that he did not want to talk about his outfit.
CONTINUE STORY



Large Christian Family Buys
Former Grocery Store

Store was cheaper than house with room for 17 kids

grocery aisle
A perfect match: 17 aisles, 17 children.

Adam and Emily Donovan shopped the market for years, looking for an affordable new house that could accommodate their growing family. But the only houses with enough bedrooms for a 19-member family cost at least $6 million. So they got creative and purchased an old Giant grocery store for $2.5 million.

Adam had the idea when he went grocery shopping and noticed that there were 17 aisles—and he had 17 kids. Then the store closed and the building went up for sale. When nobody bought it, zoning laws were changed and Adam snatched it up.

It will be months before the grocery store is modified for residential use, and the Donovans are anxiously waiting to move out of their six-bedroom house. Last year, the septic system backed up and a second septic tank had to be installed to handle the family’s growing output of fecal matter. CONTINUE STORY



Seniors Going to Pot:
Marijuana Use Up 643%


seniorspot
Ohio nursing home resident Esther Thompson, 82, puts flowers in her bong to keep it smelling fresh.

Normally when seniors and marijuana are mentioned, it’s high school seniors. Today's senior citizens were never exposed to a single classroom “Just Say No” campaign. But almost all of them said no anyway.

Now many are saying yes. A national drug survey released yesterday showed the usual minor fluctuations in drug use, except for senior citizens. Marijuana use shot up 643% nationally for those over 65, baffling most drug policy analysts.

Jeremy Irons is one analyst who sees a clear explanation for the data.
CONTINUE STORY



New Toilet Seat Encourages Lifting, Careful Aim

Moths
Toilet seat camera catches errant pissers.

The seeds of Denver Mayor Tom Garner’s controversial new public restroom policy were planted while he was on a flight from Boston to Denver. During the flight, he read a customer survey conducted by a popular restaurant chain. The most important concern for customers, the survey found, was not good food—but clean bathrooms.

Then Garner got off his plane and went to an airport bathroom. All the toilet seats were covered in urine. “I was embarrassed,” Garner said, “And I knew that tourists were coming to Denver everyday and finding the same thing—urine all over the toilet seats.”

Garner, known for his innovative and progressive policy ideas, contacted a Japanese toilet manufacturer, Kasawichi, and explained his problem.
CONTINUE STORY



NOTE: I removed the following story for a while out of guilt and shame. Since I don't want people to discriminate against gays, blacks or Jews I felt like I was discriminating against poor white people. However, it is one of my funnier stories and poor, uneducated white people are the source of a lot of the homophobia, racism and anti-Semitism in the U.S., not to mention the ignorance that allowed Bush to get elected...please forgive me if you find it to be in bad taste...because part of me does too.

Most 'White Trash' Prefer to Be Called
'Stupid White Americans'

terrorist
Scooter Johnson (left) created advocacy group Taking Out the Trash to fight use of the term 'white trash.'

Nigger. Alligator bait. Porch monkey. Spear Chucker. African-Americans have suffered through dozens of different racial slurs, while white Americans have largely beem the discriminators and rarely the targets of discrimination. The majority always does most of the name-calling, ask any gay black Jew.

White trash. Cracker. Whitey. Hunky. They seem innocuous compared to the racist lightning rods. Quietly, however, a movement is building to fight the use of the term white trash. Scooter Johnson, chairman of the trailer park advocacy group Taking Out the Trash, had this to say: "Trash are thrown away. People is not."

A recent poll, conducted by the Pew Research Center, found that Americans who have been called “white trash” would prefer to be called just about anything else, even “stupid white Americans.”
CONTINUE STORY



FRONT PAGE | PAGE 2 | EDITORIAL | RELIGION | POLITICS | KILL BILL
CONSPIRACY THEORIST | GAY BLACK JEW?



© 2005 theGayBlackJew.com
All opinions and writings are property of theGayBlackJew.com