Past Chickenhead Updates
December 11, 2006
Dear Santa Letter Generator
November 27, 2006
The Devolution Will Be Televised
October 30, 2006
BLACK MAGICK SPELLS & CURSES!
Abandon all hope, ye who enter my wicked evil website! I am Raven, bound concubine of the Dark Prince, and these are my bitchin' spells. Only true practitioners of the black arts (like me or my Satanic apprentice Tommy – who I am NOT dating) should wield these terrible powers. If you try, you risk spending eternity totally being raped with tridents by hell-spawn!
October 19, 2006
Experience the tasteful, appealing cow juice advertisements dismissed
as "TOO HOT" by KILLJOY DORKOTRONICS at the U.S. Dairy Association:
October 8, 2006
NEW! Simply enter the name of anyone you find suspicious, and Super Spy-O-Matic instantly cross-references NSA domestic phone, e-mail, travel and banking databases to expose shockingly seditious behavior and attitudes! TRY IT!
July 16, 2006
DCCC Ad Fallout: Immaculately Groomed Middle-Aged Virgins HATE Chickenhead
In an utterly non-queeny hissyfit of a press release, hunky career eunuch Thomas J. Euteneuer, a rising star of the mild-mannered punditry set, has denounced Chickenhead as "profane" and "the notoriously anti-Christian website."
Joining Father Euteneuer in a breathless orgy of conspicuous outrage, über-conservative tabloid Human Events calls Chickenhead "questionable", Red State opines, "this is outrageous!", and an esteemed blogga-wogga-ding-dong called Let Freedom Ring achieves indignant climax with:
"I just visited the Chickenhead website and had to quickly leave because I found it so disgusting... Shame on Chickenhead for such a vulgar website!"
July 11, 2006
Unauthorized, Unpaid & Unaffiliated
In September of 2005, fully one month prior to the indictment of porcine ethics posterchild Tom DeLay, Chickenhead produced the original artwork at left to appear on a new line of WHITEHOUSE.ORG merchandise.
Recently, we were astonished to see this artwork featured prominently in a TV advertisement produced by the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee. This usage is unauthorized. Chickenhead was not compensated for its use, nor does Chickenhead endorse the contents of said advertisement.
June 15, 2006
Jerry Falwell: Confirmed Vagitarian
The rumors and so-called "proof" are LIES!
Jerry Falwell IS NO MANHOLE-DRILLING FAIRY!
April 6, 2006
Feeling the Love
March 22, 2006
March 1, 2006
February 23, 2006
A Creepy Kind of Love
February 15, 2006
Deadeye Dick Cheney's Gun Club
February 13, 2006
He Wuvs You Vewy, Vewy Much
February 9, 2006
January 17, 2006
Uproarious Mirth Alert!
November 22, 2005
Feeling the Love
November 6, 2005
BabyReview.com – Now Online!
October 31, 2005
David Addington: Careerist Superstar
Chickenhead would like to formally congratulate its bestest-ever pal, David Addington, on his recent promotion to the role of Vice Presidential Chief of Staff.
His boss is to be commended for selecting the candidate who has demonstrated a tremendous aptitude for the tireless pursuit of mega-important stuff.
October 25, 2005
INSTANT HALLOWEEN COSTUMES!
October 7, 2005
CRONYJOBS.COM – Now Online!
September 26, 2005
Toppings for Thy Desk
September 20, 2005
New Sponsor: ARMY
September 7, 2005
Today's Public Service Announcement:
August 31, 2005
New Sponsor: Hysterectomy
August 26, 2005
August 16, 2005
The Grey Lady Weighs In
Read All About It –
August 8, 2005
Dear Dubya - Extended Through August
So popular was Chickenhead's "Dear Dubya" show back in June, it's been extended for six additional performances. So hauleth thy sumptuous derrière to Brooklyn, cracky!
August 1, 2005
Feeling the Love Again
July 17, 2005
Today's Public Service Announcement...
July 8, 2005
Pimpeth Thy Computee's Viewscreen
July 3, 2005
Revenge of the Blondes
June 6, 2005
"Dear Dubya" - a Chickenhead Thingy
People of Earth: Please consider joining Chickenhead for its firstest-ever theater-flavored extravaganza. » More Info «
May 18, 2005
New Sponsor: Erectical
April 14, 2005
"Tupperware Orgy" – Now Playing
Globally despised co-Chickenhead John DeVore, not content to merely scribble a play entitled "Tupperware Orgy," has also coerced humans of actual worth to memorize and perform it in public. Appropriately, today's New York Times denounces "Tupperware Orgy" as "Gore-Splattered!" and "Absurd!"
Masochistic persons may witness this atrocity for a mere $10, through April 30th, at the Brick Theatre conveniently located in the hipster cesspool that is Willamsburg, Brooklyn.
April 8, 2005
Sweet Doggies 4 U
April 4, 2005
New Sponsor: Condoms
Please be aware that today's cutting-edge prophylactic technologies can effectively minimize unpleasant side effects from certain types of groinal conjoinings.
March 31, 2005
Feeling the Love
March 27, 2005
Easter Sponsor: Blood Light
On this solemn day, Chickenhead advises all readers to partake only of appropriately holy libations:
March 18, 2005
New Sponsor: Swine & Dine
Please help ensure Chickenhead's long-term fiscal health by patronizing our newest sponsor:
March 11, 2005
Hallucinate on the Cheap
February 26, 2005
"I'd Like to Firebomb the Academy..."
Use Chickenhead's mega-fantabulous generator gizmo to write your very own Oscar speech!
February 19, 2005
Feeling the Love
February 14, 2005
"Iron Hymen" & "Sex is for FAGS!"
So fervently does Chickenhead believe in abstinence-only education, we are proud to launch two thrilling new programs devoted to helping wholesome puberteens everywhere enjoy a chaste and undefiled Valentines Day:
February 8, 2005
New Sponsor: SATAN'S SHIH-TZU
Coming soon to a mall megaplex near you, it's Chickenhead's debut foray into super-slasher cinema:
February 2, 2005
January 28, 2005
New Sponsor: Pocket Wombat
Having demanded copious product samples prior to consummating this sponsorship, Chickenhead is proud to attest to this product's quality.
January 20, 2005
New Sponsor: MAO-MART
Chickenhead is pleased to welcome an all-new sponsor wholly unrelated to any other non-sponsors perhaps or perhaps not mentioned in the post immediately preceeding this one.
January 12, 2005
The Absolute Bottom 50
January 10, 2005
Love, American Style
Peruse newly unearthed LOVE LETTERS sent to Chickenhead by gushingly satisfied readers from all across Earth's most wonderful country.
January 4, 2005
A Splendid New Chickenhead Sponsor: Suckle
January 2, 2005
Hello. Chickenhead now looks different.
Having spent the past many months wholly fixated on its various and sundry Presidential projects, Chickenhead allowed its own hygiene to suffer. No more. Look for semi-regular updates on this page pointing to assorted newness all across Chickenhead's sprawling kingdom of interweb worthlessness.
BEHOLD! The Godly New Book From the Writers of WHITEHOUSE.ORG, Landover Baptist & Betty Bowers:
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