My New Catch Phrase

When you’re a big-time cartoonist and blogger, getting criticized a hundred times a day is part of the package. Luckily I’m blessed with an unnatural level of tolerance for criticism. Often the criticisms are well thought and entirely accurate, and my reaction is “Yup, you nailed me.” That happens about half the time. The rest of the criticisms are from stupid lemon eaters and they amuse me no end.

My favorite criticism of late was regarding my post on Chinese Internet censorship. I said, "If you know the history of the Great Wall, it was highly successful in keeping out animals. But invading armies just bribed the guards and walked through the gate."

I got this criticism:

“Mr. Scott Adams, you ought to apologize for calling nomadic tribes of ancient "animals". Read history and have a little respect for others. Chinese G.wall was a border between sedentary and nomadic peoples, and what will be left out of China if you let supressed Inner Mongolia, Uigur and Tibet or even Taiwan go independent? Map of China will get reduced to 1/4 th of its size. So who is agressor animal?”

From now on, whenever I make an especially good debating point, I plan to drive it home by adding “So who is aggressor animal now?” It won’t make sense, but I hardly think that matters. I know a good phrase when I hear it.

Comments

[Bianca]

It´s a very good site!

[Flash]

Other great phrases:
"She's starting to damage my calm." (from "Serenity")
"He was bigger before I could see him." (from "Firefly: Bushwacked")

[Steve]

This entry deserve to be in http://wikilog.blogspot.com

[sct72]

Ok, borrowing an idea from a great-but-not-currently-working site, "Lost in Translation" http://www.tashian.com/multibabel/ , I translated the "offending" phrase to russian and then back to english.

So:
"If you know the history of the Great Wall, it was highly successful in keeping out animals."

changes to:
"Если вы знаете историю большой стены, то они были высоки успешно в держать из животных."

which changes back to:
"If you know the history of large wall, then they were high successfully in hold from animals."

Oookaay. BTW, use of the iterations from the above site will change "keeping out animals" to "of the squeeze of the animals" & "stupid lemon eater" will change to "dull lemon plus the dining room".

On a side note, I wonder why I don't try to understand the "other" point of view until after I tell them they're wrong. Dull lemon plus the dining room!

[Pat]

Scott! you crack me up. I almost inhaled a malted milk ball whole I was laughing so hard, but trying to be quiet because I'm at work. so, I guess even if I have a freak candy-laughing accident it'll be covered by workers comp.

who's the agressor animal now!!!
Pat

[gordon_goosemonster]

It always amuses me when Americans make fun of non-English speaking people, when they make an attempt at English.

It’s not as if you yanks are perfect. For example, you seem to have some problem with words beginning with the letter H. You pronounce HERB as ERB and HUMAN as UMAN.

H isn't a silent letter. BOCTAOE (I think).

Gordon_Goosemonster

[JT]

anybody sandwich principle principle, different fire drew window raise?
love companion drew why. use letters friends anybody she.
end fly again teach, fascinate you tying window taught. mentioned am young immediate young happened.
profession sugar anything latter am. news prison is turning? letters promised she raise principle,
being human speaking miserable happened a.
benefit studied very. a steps bought news side explain? companion music my added next wife.
Bigger Your Small-Size Peniis
The Only Safe & Natural Way To Bigger ur Size pride
Become Thicker & up to 3-inch longer after 1-2 months

nothing Dont Wait, Bigger Today & Tomorrow
No More

thus mischievous leader turning bad? here respect profession. fire the shining. companion promised pride? wanted similar promised did fire. you make parents?

[MadMan]

And then I voted.

[Kristen]

Maybe its just me, but Im sure there were hundreds more comments written by morons that could have been picked on instead of this guy. Clearly he is not a native English speaker. FYI, for all you "and then he voted" posters, the internet its used by more countries than just America... *and* not all countries let people vote... BOCTAOE... hmm... Anyhoo, he seems alright by me, especially when hes cool enough to make up such cool catchphrases as "Who is agressor animal now?!" :)

[Jane]

Doug's comment of "In Communist China, animal agresses YOU." wins this thread. It does.

[Brinke Guthrie]

Maybe agressive Mongols should eat more lemons.

[Rachel]

Well I thought the animal line was funny. Especially the bit about the porpoises.

[Signus]

Ich bin ein Berliner!

[Joe Cooper]

"Well Mr. Scott A. - I have been a Dilbert follower for years. Reading your Blog, your comments about your critics, though laced with your wry humor, do sound as though they're getting to you a bit.
So here is some positive feedback:"

I'd like to add some positive feedback too.

I bloody love your comic, I've been reading it almost daily since I was 8 years old and subscribed to the DNRC newsletter for years. I even watched the show, and have 10 of the anthology books. Even "The Dilbert Bunch".

Ratbert is my favorite character. He's a little pimp.

The best thing ever was him pretending to be a chihuahua.

[Peter Payne]

Dittos, Scott, or to his assistant if he has one (if not, why the hell not?). Long time reader, blah blah blah. (I am the guy who discovered your "Affirmations" idea, but for me it works in reverse, e.g. everything but what I expect comes to pass...and I use this ability to manipulate things pretty well all the same.)

One note on Evolution that you might do something with. I am totally wondering why, in this scientific world we live in, is it totally impossible to do experiments that will back up evolution? I know we can't do an experiment over 1,000,000 years, but can't we show what happens to, say, over the course of 100 generations of ants or flys when some factor in their environment is manipulated?

Just a thought. Maybe you can parody the idea in some way and make real people out there go, oh yeah, we could do something like that.

This comment isn't about the Chinese G. Wall so feel free not to post it.

[Peter Payne]

Dittos, Scott, or to his assistant if he has one (if not, why the hell not?). Long time reader, blah blah blah. (I am the guy who discovered your "Affirmations" idea, but for me it works in reverse, e.g. everything but what I expect comes to pass...and I use this ability to manipulate things pretty well all the same.)

One note on Evolution that you might do something with. I am totally wondering why, in this scientific world we live in, is it totally impossible to do experiments that will back up evolution? I know we can't do an experiment over 1,000,000 years, but can't we show what happens to, say, over the course of 100 generations of ants or flys when some factor in their environment is manipulated?

Just a thought. Maybe you can parody the idea in some way and make real people out there go, oh yeah, we could do something like that.

This comment isn't about the Chinese G. Wall so feel free not to post it.

[Iris]

The guy who wrote the original comment was
really offended by something he misunderstood,
and even if you find that entertaining, don't
invite others to laugh about him unless you
can call him a stupid lemon eater in Chinese, which I
highly doubt. Native speakers of English often don't make
any real effort to learn other languages, I've noticed.

Btw: Will the "baby" period of your strip be over
soon? I usually love your strip, but hate the baby, which
probably does not reflect well on my motherly instincts.

[Paul McCain]

Hmm....the comment posted under my name "Paul McCain" is not the comment I submitted. The one posted under "Kevin" is actually my post. But I like his post better than mine, so I'm good.

[SeanS]

Every time I try to say that, I end up speaking with a Russian accent. Any reason for that?

So who is aggressor animal now, Sergei?

[ashley]

I think that guy needs to take pills for his imagination.

[Indian Stallion]

I been reading and re-reading that comment, and finally I realised that what he meant. Here, I have translated it:

The wall separated the 4 feuding nomadic tribes - Inner Mongolia, Uigur, Tibet and Taiwan. Without it the fighting would have resulted in a lot of bloodshed and chaos, after which other countries would have invaded China and reduced it to 1/4 of it's current size. The wall's benefits far outweighed its side effects - basically the loss of independence and years of suppression for the tribes.

Who is the aggressor animal now?

BTW it is Chinese New Year day tommorow.

[K]

How about this - your drawing of yourself in the strip recent sucked. What were you on? LSD?

[JL]

If I were you, I wouldn't get too fussed about a post from some lemon-eating aggressor animal who just voted. :)

[Andrew Montanaro]

I wasn't aware that you were suggesting Mongolians were animals. I merely thought you meant, like, you know, not humans.

[Slackmaster K]

At least the Chinese wall was built in such a way their enemies wouldn't simply... oh, I dunno, walk around it?

France is funny sometimes.

[vlad]

I hear lemons washes off sense of humor. I hate to believe it now.

Stop feeding me lemons please!

[Elanor]

On a totally irrelevant tangent, more than 20% of the world population, most of them in China, will be celebrating the lunar new year soon.

Happy Chinese New Year!

Who is the aggressor animal now?

[annabel_raven]

Of course I assume it's not because you're "proud" so much as you want to point out what an ass they are for everyone's amusement.

[annabel_raven]

"Why do you always seem proud that so many morons read your blog?"

LOL!!!!! "Kevin" does have a very valid point!

[Zac]

Haytham, someone has probably already responded (in the queue waiting to be posted) but just in case:

A baby wearing sunglasses is always cuter than a cat lying on its back. Here are two pictures which prove my point.

Baby wearing sunglasses. http://www.quinnclairetatum.com/sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderpictures/.pond/tatumcool.jpg.w180h241.jpg

Cat lying on back.
http://www.jamesshuggins.com/i/bas1/fat_cat.jpg

Now, Catbert had been a kitten instead, it would have been very close.
http://www.animal-world.com/encyclo/featured_pets/Dog_Cat/madcat/kitten.jpg

[Erin]

I love the newsletter, just wanted to say thanks for the laughs!

[TFG]

:D

[Gavin]

and then he wasn't allowed to vote...

(This is China after all)

[Stephanie]

Is it just me, or is there an obsession with the protruding, giant eyeballs lately??

[Rick Ellis]

Lighten up, all you trousered apes.
It's just a big ass wall.

[dilbertaco]

nvm what I said, I see what you are saying now.

[dilbertaco]

should it be "Who is agressor animal now?" or "Who is the aggressive animal now?". BOCTAOE & TIV & WIAAN to ya's.

[lee]

Learn Chinese in 5 minutes.

1) That's not right ....................... Sum Ting Wong
2) Are you harbouring a fugitive?............. Hu Yu Hai Ding
3) See me ASAP................................ Kum Hia Nao
4) Stupid Man .............................. Dum Fuk
5) Small Horse .............................. Tai Ni Po Ni
6) Did you go to the beach? ................. Wai Yu So Tan
7) I bumped into a coffee table ............. Ai Bang Mai Fa Kin Ni
8) I think you need a face lift ............ Chin Tu Fat
9) It's very dark in here ................... Wao So Dim
10) I thought you were on a diet ............. Wai Yu Mun Ching?
11) This is a tow away zone ................. No Pah King
12) Our meeting is scheduled for next week ... Wai Yu Kum Nao?
13) Staying out of sight ..................... Lei Ying Lo
14) He's cleaning his automobile ............ Wa Shing Ka
15) Your body odor is offensive .............. Yu Stin Ki Pu
16) Great ................................... Fa Kin Su Pah

[Gav]

He/she makes it sound like they're talking about a person. I mean, "Chinese G. Wall". Kinda sounds like an author of crime stories. "The case of the hair in the jelly" by "Chinese G. Wall" has a certain ring to it, don't you think?

[CiscoBoy]

I just found a new signature tag.

CiscoBoy
So who is aggressor animal now?

[Roy]

Scott Adams never claimed to have invented any of his characters.

All he did was disguise the names of people who worked at my former employers and made them much better looking.

But not a whit smarter. That speaks well of Scott's integrity.

[Sonya]

That is SO funny, oh my loorrdd! Animals. Ahahahhaa. Looove that man!

[mike]

Bond deftly snatched the key from Wu Fat's weakening grasp, while his helpless henchmen looked on in horror.

"So, Wu Fat," he growled through clenched teeth, "Who is aggressor animal now!?"

Wu Fat, crushed in humiliating defeat, mumbled,

"No one want to answer."

...and THEN he voted...

[Wetback Alien]

By fortune you didn't mention Berlin Wall...or Border Wall (coming soon, between US and Mexico). Walls sometimes are used for 'jailing' people.

[shorttricky]

This is one of my favourite catchphrases for when people complain about doing something unpleasant...

"It builds character".

[ryan]

I just realized that positive feedback doesn´t get attention. I guess it´s because it does nothing of value. When you think about it, I think the idea of the Great Wall probably was the result of too much positive feedback to the emperor´s ideas.
By being critisized you just get better Scott.

Asuming of course you only follow good advise. . .

[Tracylee]

I recently read something that said, "No matter how funny the joke, someone will find a way to take it seriously."

[Drew]

That sounds like it was typed by one of the crocs in Pearls Before Swine.

[zmmptet3]

Yes you do
BOCTAOE

[jtk]

I wonder if you can access this blog in China using Google?

[Joe Cooper]

I don't think this is just misunderstanding any language. He knew enough to connect "animals" to some kind of reference to nomadic people.

I'd say he's just a PC thug with an overactive imagination.

[Tom]

"From now on, whenever I make an especially good debating point, I plan to drive it home...."

Does this mean that you will never get to use the new phrase? As you do not make especially good debating points....Aha! Who is aggressor animal now?

[D. Ox]

We disagree with an early commentor, and think that the acronym "SWIAAN?" has great advantages as a good debating point home driver, especially if uttered while elevating one eyebrow and nodding with self-satisfaction. You can also say it really loud and fast, making a karate chopping motion with one hand.

All the best,
D. Ox
http://thomistic.blogspot.com

[Meww]

Ha! That's brills!

[Mike]

Did you know that the Great Wall is one of many man-made objects that can be seen from the moon? It helps if you use a powerful telescope.

[Bob Deskin]

I have a theory (probably not original) that there's a sarcasm gene. If you have it, you understand sarcasm. If you don't have it, you don't get the sarcasm and just see it as a stupid opinion. And since you don't "get it" you wouldn't know it. Another "there are two kinds of people in the world...".

Bob

PS Since this is my first post, I actually read the instructions that say "...and will not appear on this weblog until the author has approved them." It doesn't say which author :-) I'm the author of my comments and I definitely approve.

[Daddyman44]

And then, he voted... democrat.

[ViX]

This could be better stated as:
"So who is aggressor animal now, sukka!"

[rd]

OK, I am not a native english speaker, so what? I made my point. Oh,I noticed you wrote porpoises,oh, what a terrible misunderstanding, now I understand, how funny was your post, awesome, hilarious! I apologize, I just humbly apologize. Also I knew now, I should not write any comments, I did not realize that your blog is not for us elbonians reading, but inteligently designed for only snobbish, WASP, oh, I should be discrete, your are not protestant, you are atheist, well, then, for white people of american or european or australian or whatever origin,well, some japanese are also welcome, but not others, not that terrible not native-english speakers. Adieu! I got it, So far, oh, no, I have mistaken, So long, no more comments, my promise

[Tofu Lover]

After the last comment of Asean Apeasemant and Being of throughly born and brough up in Bombay I think I have earn the moral right to coin phrase for people who do not understand english and make angry comments.

PHRASE: YOU STUPID TOFU EATER.

I will usethis again and again in this blog till it catches on.

[Tofu Lover]

This is comedy gold. I pitty the guy.
But honestly, a note to all the asian and all the other people from cultures which are considered "exotic" in aamerica.

White people most of the times respect your culture and make fun of it just like they make fun of their own. So just laugh even if you think it is offensive ...

[Amber]

Don't you love when people draw all sorts of imaginary connections and read meaning into even the most clearly-written things? It's every author's nightmare.

[mapletree7]

It seems like most of your posts are designed to send some proportion of readers into a howling rage.....

That is intrinsically funny, so I suppose it's ok.

[nate]

Hooray! A new nonsensical Acronym:

SWIAAN?
(So who is aggressor animal now?)

[Eric]

Aggressor Animal is fair game for mocking. Given his poor English, he should have asked instead of assuming. Therein lies the humor, which is now anti-humor given the thorough dissection of the joke in this thread. Is anti-humor a gene or a device?

[Reggie]

Hey I couldnt understand today's comic.... was a little over my head.

Wait.. this means that .. my comment will be the topic of poking fun in tomorrow's blog!

[Belt]

Scott... off-topic, sort of... but why do dogbert and catbert wear glasses? And, so who is agressor animal?

[Amethyst]

That phrase would almost be funny on a T-shirt, but You Stupid Lemon Eaters would still be funnier. When is the Dilbert store going to start selling them?

[sct72]

After beginning to read the "criticism", I thought 'wait a minute, what?' and had to read the first part of the post again. Maybe this is one of those "obvious exceptions" I keep reading about! :)

[HogWild]

Scott,

Perhaps your critics can inspire a new character: Hatebert.

She hates everything. She hates everyone. She criticizes all while comprehending nothing.

My very weak attempt at an example with Hatebert:

* Woman with baby is in the office.
Asok with doughnuts: Welcome back from maternity leave!
Hatebert: These doughnuts are crap. And you know I'm on a diet.

Asok: Sorry, Hatebert. Next time I will be more considerate.
Hatebert: Your apology is not contrite enough.
* Baby smiles at Hatebert
Hatebert: Your cuteness is mediocre. And frankly, the whole "baby" thing has been done.

* Baby throws up on Hatebert
Hatebert: Unoriginal.

[vath2001]

The wall was build to keep out invading armies? Or was it built to keep in labor force.... to make cheap DVD players.

[Hayek]

Obviously monkeys are the aggressor animal.

http://www.chron.com/disp/dispcomp2.mpl?cid=952606

[CLB]

So you do look at the comments. Even those from lemon eaters. Cool.

[cMAD]

Criticism?

It helps to be concise.
Your comic strip usually is.

Unfortunately, your blog isn't.

Better stick to your aggressor animals,
i.e., Dogbert and Catbert.

[Desi]

I don't get where the guy's coming from - you were calling the animals "animals," not the people on the other side. But if you really want to get technical, we could argue over some of the people...I could make a case for Ghenghis Kahn being an animal. Think about it: all he did was fight over his territory and mate. There are hundreds-of-thousands of his descendants roaming around his old territory. It's like rabbits...except rabbits don't hack other rabbits into tiny bits. Well, most rabbits anyway.

[sam]

Wait, China is real? I thought China was made up to scare pastey American children to do better at math.

[Tony Baloney]

When I first saw "So who is agressor animal?", I immediately thawt "stoopid MAN who drive a cab". But then I read today "Pearls" and know now I da stoopid one. It wah really Larry da CROC nexx door to Zeeba that drive a cab and write dat!!

[Lori]

I must stop reading your blog at work. Either that or I must get better at maintaining a straight face. I plan to use the phrase all day today. No one will know what I am saying/talking about, but they rarely listen so it will be that much more fun.

O.T. aside: When I was living and working in Pakistan my friends were taking me out for dinner one evening. I was used to not understanding the Urdu that they had assimilated into their english, since they used their American accents for the Urdu, so when they told me we were going to a "Whigger" restaurant I didn't have any idea what to expect. I kept thinking of cheesy white boy-wanna-be-rappers. Little did I know that it was actually a "Uigur" restaurant. (Wee-gr as opposed to WHIG-er)

[Alan]

"“Mr. Scott Adams, you ought to apologize for calling nomadic tribes of ancient "animals". Read history and have a little respect for others."

So...it's disrespectful to call nomadic tribes of ancient animals? Is it disrespectful anytime, or just during off-peak hours? Guess Scott needs to learn proper phone etiquette.

So who is aggressor animal now?!?

God, making fun of people who can't speak English is great entertainment in its proper context (i.e. when they deserve it). Reminds me of this guy from Yemen who was sort of my supervisor at a job I quit on the second day a long time ago - during a break my first night he asked, "why don't you understand what I say? I speak perfect English." It was the first intelligible sentence he'd spoken all night. I let him know that, too:P

[Flint_A]

To Brad: It's Uigur, and it exists.

Let's look at this from a different perspective. The people of Mongolia, Uigur, Tibet and Taiwan aren't Chinese. So the point of the Great Wall was to stop them from leaving and forming their own countries? I guess the Renaissance died out before going all the way to China.

I won't even address HOW the wall could have stopped them. I'm not exactly sure where the Great Wall is, but let's look at all possibilities. It can't be for keeping these people from entering China, because you don't need to attack you oppressor's capital to revolt. It can't be to keep them from leaving China, because they could just revolt right there. So it must be to stop them from getting reinforcements from the outside. First of all, not all of those countries had allies on the outside. And second of all, Huns and Mongols managed to get in one way or the other.

[Kat]

There's something about reading on-screen that makes people not take care they understand... I was in a business course once where we had to work together as a group to put together a proposal. The deadline was drawing nigh, the proposal was still being edited, re-edited, and e-mailed with every iteration, until finally Person A e-mailed the "final" version and Person B found something minor to change in it. Person B wrote, "Should we edit in my minor change, or let sleeping dogs lie?" This launched one of the most vicious flame wars I have ever seen, with Person A claiming Person B called them "a lying dog" and threatening to complain to the university administration.

By next class, both A & B had quit the course and we had to rearrange groups across the class.

[Keith]

Wow, I am so stupid. I totally missed the point of that blog because I thought you were talking about actual animals. I'm glad that person was nice enough to post something and explain it to me.

[William]

I wonder if PETA will now complain about your animal comments. You don't want to get them angry -- they send naked women to demonstrate outside your house. Hmmm, never mind.

[Max Grades]

Surely you all realize Uncle Scott uses the idiot responses to his blog for ideas for Dilbert cartoons.
He is the A-Soul.

[amberchyrseis]

and then when people give you a blank look, say "There's too much blood in my caffeine system." Which will then, make everyone laugh and forget about your earlier statement. almost.

[Jeff]

winter complaining
animal aggressor now
who is this critic

[Morons_Of_Emerica_Local_Ought®]

"Why do you always seem proud that so many morons read your blog?"

Why you pompous, egotistical windbag full of undue self-importance! -Besides, you're doing it...Can't pull out now, baby, it's critical mass...So who's the aggressor animal NOW?!
Signed,
Your sister moron.

[jl]

Hey don't forget the classic, "Bring us all your base."

[ryno]

Mr. Adams, you aught be ashamed of yourself for calling lemon-eaters "stupid." Read up on health benefits of lemon eating and have little respect for citrus. L. eaters make up zesty portion of peoples, and what if I like my vodka with a twist? Car purchased on ebay are 1/4 lemons. So who is lemon fresh now?

[Steve]

My gawd, the internet does bring out the slack-jawed. I have no idea what the whole rambling "criticism" meant. Maybe I have to slam my head on my desk several hundred times and it will all become much clearer....hmmm...let's try it...

ouch...ouch...there...

So, Mr. Adams, you should apologize, since animals do not form tribes, they form herds or packs. You should have written nomadic "herds" of ancient "animals". I'm telling PETA on you, you agresor (sic) "human"!

[Guillermo Silva]

it's a nice catch phrase... it'll make you look mean! It's right there with "who's your daddy now!"

[Michael]

And then he voted.

[Bill]

Me: Bob, I think you're dead wrong. Plus, your fly is down.

Bob: Doh!

Me: So who is aggressor animal now?

Works for me.

[Brad]

Warning Scott. That was a troll post. The giveway is "Uigir". All the other places are real because they have celebrities sticking up for them, but "Uigir" has no celebrity backing and is therefore, not for real.

[Cmdr_X]

1/4 map of China still big size country. Tiny indomitable Olympic athletes. Make many DVD player cheap. Taiwan much happy as independent country. Mongolia not care about China. Who is aggressor animal now?

[Erik]

wow, someone needs to learn to read! Perhaps we can give him some sort of award for completely missing the point?

[Pete, the demon of useless knowledge]

Actually, making fun of Chinese people for thier poor understanding of English is rather bad form. Although Jay Leno does it all the time, so it must be ok. ATIV

[Keith M]

Chinese G.wall was a border between sedentary and nomadic peoples, and what will be left out of China if you let supressed Inner Mongolia, Uigur and Tibet or even Taiwan go independent? Map of China will get reduced to 1/4 th of its size.

and then he voted...

[Brad Sondahl]

I think someone who isn't offended by onslaughts of criticism has to be an insensitive boob. Do you give lessons in how to achieve this state? I want to be an aggressor animal.

[Jack Mcmac]

Well Mr. Scott A. -
I have been a Dilbert follower for years. Reading your Blog, your comments about your critics, though laced with your wry humor, do sound as though they're getting to you a bit.
So here is some positive feedback:
I honestly think that Dilbert is one of the Great American Comics. I think it is up there with Pogo, which in its time, spoke to the whole country. Your characters are ingenious, and I look forward to the appearance of Phil, Catbert and the whole gang every day. Bless your heart for making such a wonderful comic strip.

[RD]

You buried the lede - "but I hardly think that matters!"

[Incredipete]

LMAO. That's like a new way of saying: "WHO'S YOUR DADDY!!!"

Clearly whoever sent you that email had a much firmer grasp on the English language than the rest of us.

BOCTAOE

[Stankleberry]

Haha, did that email come from Jiang Zemin?

[Ryan Morehart]

Wow... you should really be nicer. So who is aggressor animal now?

[Ryan Morehart]

Wow... you should really be nicer. So who is aggressor animal now?

[Kevin]

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him get the joke.

[Paul T. McCain]

I love it too. Can we all use it? And if you say, "No" I will say....So, who is agressor animal now?

[KWR]

That lemon eater's comment made no sense with regard to your post. If I remember my history correctly, the guards used to pee out the holes in the wall also. Maybe that's why the grass is greener on the other side.

[anum]

I have recently installed a "Chinese G.wall" around my cube to suppress my inner mongrel. Agressor animal not me is now.

Making fun of people because they have only a tenuous grasp of your language is not politically correct (but entertaining, don't deny it) but making fun of someone because they don't understand your language which causes them to completely miss the concepts which then leads to them correcting you in a language they don't know how to use? That's comedy gold that is!

[Steph]

Oh, wow. That guy really needs to get out more. Didn't he realize that wasn't what you meant when you said "animals"? I mean, didn't the reference to porpoises give him a clue?
Keep up the great work, Scott - you "animal" hater!

[Stoned Lion]

"All your base are belong to us"

Alright, I'm probably not the first to post it, but it's still funny.

[Luke]

I notice you keep making fun of comments people send to you. Doesn't this get them really angry? I would be embarrased if Scott Adams made fun of something I said..

[Oxo]

Oh, Scottbert. I can tell you are once again trying to litter the language with a pointless frase. But you don't fool me, you stupid lemon-eater. So spare me baby - I will go Wardish on you instead and offer you a mentos.

(Just remember, when using new frase - don't forget talkshow body language and appropriate use of b-word. As in "So who's aggressor animal now, BITCH?")

[Larry Miller]

Yea, I remember when you actualy had to be smart to "get on the Internet".

Well, at least half of the "million monkeys" theory has been shown to be right.

[Grace]

I like it! I think that it will become all the rage. It kind of reminds me of my parents (raised in Korea) when they try to talk to me when they are angry--dropped articles all over the place (that is assuming that the person who accused you of calling people animals was in fact asian and angry).

[Haytham]

Can someone explain to me today's cartoon? Didn't get it.

[Ben]

Your idea for a new catch phrase reminds me of what my cow-orkers have determined about the subliminal catch phrase used by Dr. Laura. If you carefully listen to her show, you will eventually begin to hear the phrase "You stupid idiot" after she dispenses her advice to the woman who married or lived with the human equivalent of the stuff below pond scum.

[Eric Ewanco]

I thought you were referring to mammalian species. Am I wrong?

[cardoso]

WOW! Loved it. I think I'll steal it and use as one of mine.

Also, what does one need to enter the country? I can imagine, the control point at huang-zizing...

"Good morning. Are you nomadic or sedentary? Your passport states you're a Goth. Weren't you horseback raiders?"

"Oh no, it was a long time ago, now we only rape and steal from the Merovingians, we've built a city nearby their capital just for that".

"So you're not a nomad anymore. Nice to know. Welcome to China. Next?"

Or worse... "Sorry, mr Khan, but you must leave China imediatly."

"Why?"

"Because our records show your home at Outer Mongolia was raider by Goths, you've no house or land anymore, it makes you a nomad."

"but I lived in China the last 10 years, I've a silicon business that will be very profitable in a few centuries, never killed anyone..."

"Sorry, mr Khan, no exceptions. Need help to pack your personal belongins?"

[Brandon]

I recommend the abbreviation SWIAAN. I also recommend putting up a page defining the growing number of acronyms used on this blog.

[CT]

You like to talk about "knockout" arguments, right? I've always considered one to be "making fun of a non-native speaker's English."

[Doug]

stupid vegetable eater

[Sophie]

In Communist China, animal agresses YOU.

[Kevin]

Why do you always seem proud that so many morons read your blog?

[jon sarcasmo]

I was in a shopping mall the other day that had large fruit sculptures hanging from the ceiling. My mate said 'Hey, dusty grapes.' And I replied: "Dusty Grapes? That's my porn star name."

I think "That's my porn star name" might well become my new catch phrase.

PS - is the dilbert email newsletter officially dead now? I used to love that little ray of bitter sunshine.

[jon sarcasmo]

I was in a shopping mall the other day that had large fruit sculptures hanging from the ceiling. My mate said 'Hey, dusty grapes.' And I replied: "Dusty Grapes? That's my porn star name."

I think "That's my porn star name" might well become my new catch phrase.

PS - is the dilbert email newsletter officially dead now? I used to love that little ray of bitter sunshine.

[Scott]

Next time, be specific. Like: "It kept out yaks, giraffe and the occasional blue footed booby"...that way it cuts down on the confusion for those that can't read.

[Playtah]

Mr. Adams, you should apologize to the outgoing Palestinian government. You said your new catch phrase is “So Who Is Aggressor Animal Now?” That phrase has the initials of SWIAAN. SWIAAN is obviously a derivative of the English word “swan”, which is what the Ugly Duckling turned into at the end of the book by Hans Christian Andersen, the Danish author. Everyone knows that eating a lot of Danish pastries can make you fat and tubby and heavy. “Fat and tubby and heavy” has the acronym of FATAH, which is the name of the outgoing Palestinian government, whom you obviously don’t support, since you use their name so frivolously. Racist.

[ja-ne-z]

This is one simple no criticism comment. Cheers!

[bill]

Is the James Cagney accent optional?

[Heidi]

Thanks for making me laugh. There are many scottisms that my fiance and I use way too frequently. We are always calling each other lemon eaters and I can only imagine how much we will overuse your animal aggressors comment. Thanks for enriching our lives!

[CmdrSue]

Scott -

Silly me, I thought you actually meant animals when you said animals, not that you were reflecting on, or even considering, the actual socio-economic impact on the regional nomadic tribes. That you were, you know, just trying to be funny. Obviously I should stop assuming you are funny and start deconstructing all of your statements for deeper meaning. Because nothing wrings the humor out of a statement like four hours of literary analysis.

So who is aggressor animal now?

:) Sue
http://cmdrsue.blogspot.com

[Bogdan]

I don't know, it sounds like the guy who wrote that comment doesn't speak English so well. Maybe he actually was Mongolian or something. It might not be such a good idea to mock him.

[CodeSamurai]

Let me try it.

You had no right abusing that poor lemon-eater's remark. Furthermore he is right, without China's great wall nothing will be left. And we all know that left is not right. So who is aggressor animal now?

How was that?

[sandrine]

Well, I've read the other articles, especially the one about China, and I understood it as saying that the wall blocked wolves, deers and whatnot perfectly, but that people could bribe the guards. Did you mean it like that ? Cause, I mean, what would be the use of the sentence if you meant "people could not get in, but people could bribe" just using animals and armies as two different kinds of people ?

I discovered this blog today, and I must say you have pretty interesting opinions. I'm French, living in France, and I like reading your stuff. I was already addicted to Dilbert anyway, aha.

Can I say you rock ?