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Veronica Hart Has Beethoven — Misty , That Is — Rockin' To A New Beat
CHATSWORTH, Calif. - Okay; it's the beginning of the movie; rich roué Randy Spears has just had his cock sucked by his rich musician pal Chloe; two of his maids are also (apparently) taking a crack at it - when all of a sudden, a large prosthetic dick tricked out as Randy's own cock bursts out, says to the audience, "Do you want to know what's really going on here?", and as the answer, starts singing "The Penis Is The Ruler Of The World"!
"It's a kind of rock tango," explains Veronica Hart, director of Misty Beethoven, The Musical , a parody of/homage to Henry Paris' seminal adult film, The Opening Of Misty Beethoven , which itself is a parody of My Fair Lady ... which itself is a musical version of George Bernard Shaw's play Pygmalion !
The original Misty starred the little-seen Constance Money as the title character and Jamie Gillis as Prof. Seymore Love, the Henry Higgins to Money's Eliza Doolittle.
This version of Misty , which has Sunset Thomas in the title role, features more than a dozen songs written by accomplished musician Maxwell Hart, and best of all, each of the performers gets to lip-sync to his or her own recorded rendition! (The penis' voice, of course, is Spears'.)
"It fucking rocks!" Hart squeals. "I'm really excited about it."
And well she should be. Altogether, there are 20 sexual acts depicted, though most are not full-on sex scenes. For instance, as Spears and Chloe (who've decided to try to recreate Prof. Love's "experiment") enter a nightclub, looking for the world's worst hooker in order to transform her in world-class courtesan Misty, they find Malitia (as the cashier) giving head to and getting fucked by partner A.J. The action only lasts a couple of minutes on camera, but the point is, the characters in this vid are surrounded by sex pretty much everywhere they go.
While Spears and Chloe are checking out the place, Kelly Steel's getting banged on stage by "bikers" Dick Nasty and hubby Hamilton, and later, they peep Sunset giving a handjob to Dave Cummings in a Napoleon suit.
"The Napoleon thing is lifted from the first movie," Hart admits. "In the original, he was in a movie theater in his Napoleon outfit for no reason, but she was giving him the world's worst handjob there, and Jamie Gillis came up behind her in the theater. So we changed locations but we lifted some of the same bits. I wanted to do that because this is a tried and true movie and I really think [original Misty director] Henry Paris is an amazing guy and I wanted to do him justice."
Spears and Chloe hire Sunset to be transformed, and while we weren't present to observe the process, Hart says that after the training is done, one of Sunset's rites of passage is that she has to get three butlers off simultaneously, using only her hands and mouth - another bit that also appears in the original film.
What we were present for, however, was a scene that takes place near the end of the story, after it's been shown - surprise, surprise! - that not only does Sunset have the ability to be the 'hooker to die for,' she's also got a damned good singing voice. Spears gets her an appointment with music producer Evan Stone, who's busy pining for his lost love Asia Carrera, who's dumped him and taken up with musician Barrett Blade. As Stone sings his pain at the editing console, viewers get to see Carrera in a dreamlike setting getting fucked by Blade every way from Sunday.
In a four-poster bed hung with white draperies, Carrera, in a silk nightgown on satin sheets, spreads her pussy for Blade's mouth, sucks his cock, then essays doggie, reverse cowgirl and mish for her tattooed suitor. The scene's a hot one, with Carrera putting her all into it.
"It's been such a long time since I worked with Asia, and she's amazing," Hart comments. "The guys in my crew see it all, all the time, but I have never seen so many attentive crew people as when Asia was there. Everybody was going nuts."
Hart's version of Misty , however, has a completely different ending than the original.
"What happens is, Sunset comes in, she sings for Evan, she does seduce him, and they fall madly in love with each other," Hart explains. "So in the original, Misty ends up with the professor character, but in this, Sunset finds more meaning. In other words, it's not as important for her to be a world-class courtesan; she's found true love. Evan's got her a recording contract; she's now able to make it on her own, and she doesn't need to try to seduce other men... which absolutely drives Randy Spears around the bend, because it's spoiled his whole plan."
"So at the end, Randy goes to the club so he can be really miserable, and who's up on stage but his Misty Beethoven! She's made the complete transition: She's found love, become a singer, and it's actually Chloe that takes Randy up on stage and fucks him on stage, and we're left with the thought that maybe the two of them might end up together. We're left with the hope that maybe there's hope for this poor jaded soul, because Randy's a very jaded person in this."
- Mark Kernes
Misty Beethoven, The Musical , is expected to be released by VCA Pictures sometime in the spring of 2004
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