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Tabitha Stevens Gets her Jolly's At Tera Show: Devon, Laurie Wallace Also On Guest List
At The Tera Show last night, Joone had just called "30 seconds" when my cell phone jumped out of my lap - where I was politely turning it off so it wouldn't ring and disrupt the show - and knocked over my Diet Coke. As it spread across the grey carpet, I righted it, a Digital Playground guy got some paper towels, Joone kept counting down and Tera got all schoolmarm-y, reproachfully sing-songing "Tod Hunter spilled his Diet Coke" as the show began.
Good start.
Tera just got back from Las Vegas where she was at AEE and the AVN Awards. "Very different, very fun." She also said that she noticed a lot of her regular fans weren't there, perhaps because they didn't want to fly. "I missed you." She thanked Playboy, who threw "a kick-ass party," and Adult DVD Empire. The opening trivia question is asked. "According to her Virtual Sex DVD, on what holiday did Devon first have sex?" I turn around and look at Devon as she shrugs her shoulders. She doesn't know the answer.
Tera also talks about giving the Best New Starlet Award to Violet Blue. She's happy for Violet, and liked all the nominees, but was kind of hoping that Calli Cox, who is a Tera Show regular and was the first Virgin Vixen, would have won.
First up is Devon, carrying her AVN Award for Best Interactive DVD. "It's like bulletproof glass," Tera says, peering through it. "You can take it to the bank." Tera had recently been in Pennsylvania, and guys were telling her they knew Devon when she was a house dancer. "I always know where Alisha and Teri Weigel have been," Tera says.
"I know," Devon concurs. "Every time I go in a club, Teri's signature is on the wall."
They trade notes on the parties they went to, and Tera talks about her security contingent deserting her backstage at the AVN Awards to meet Snoop Dogg: "Hey, you're with me..." Tera met Kiss frontman Gene Simmons, and Devon had met him at the Playboy Mansion. Tera was interviewed by the Fox affiliate in Las Vegas, and asked if she could do the Fox News Channel's The O'Reilly Factor because she has a crush on Bill O'Reilly.
There's a winner in the trivia contest at 7:12:30. "John Smith" says the answer is "Thanksgiving." Tera asks Devon, "Did you first have sex on Thanksgiving?"
"I guess so," she whispers.
"What was it like winning Best Interactive DVD?" Tera asks. "I didn't think I was going to win," Devon says. "Not against Sylvia Saint and Taylor Hayes."
Tabitha Stevens is up next, and is on. In the next hour, she lets fly with more funny lines than a roomful of Vegas lounge acts on speed. She just bought a video store in Orange County called "Jolly's" and is very excited about it. "I'm gonna put 40 video booths in the next one. And a head shop. Not head like this" - she mimes giving a blowjob - "but tobacco products."
Stevens talks about anal sex "I did it for a tape. I went ooh, oh, [she grits her teeth in a rictus of pain] get it out of my ass now. D.P.'s are easier than anals: you have so much going on you don't notice the pain."
They talk about fans. "Without fans, you don't have a name," Devon says. "I like it when there are couples," Stevens observes. "I hate it when the girlfriend's giving you the evil eye. 'Don't you touch my boyfriend.' Like I'm gonna get on my knees and give the guy a blowjob right there." Tera talks about being spotted in the Venetian canal shops and getting chased by fans into a store "and the girl closed the door. I was so grateful." Tera also says she met up with an old boyfriend, a fireman, at AEE. He would be doing her "and then his pager would go off and he'd leave me naked so he could fight a fire,"
"I'd say 'There's a fire right here,'" Stevens says, pointing.
They talk about working out. Tera makes a muscle and Devon pokes a bicep and says "You've been doing push-ups, haven't you?" These women take their workouts seriously.
A sheaf of e-mails comes over the wall. "They're asking us to get naked," Tera says, and de-tops at 7:36:20. Stevens follows suit and Devon pushes her top up and bra down, achieving the same effect. "I told the doctor I wanted 'em together because I like the cleavage thing and I like to look good in clothes," she says.
Tera talks about being in Cannes for the Festival. "Joone said, 'Let's run to the beach,' and we did, and hndreds of photographers followed us," Tera says. They talk about old boyfriends who were musicians - they all like bass players - and then Stevens leans over and whispers something to the other two and they all laugh.
An e-mail asks, "How big a cock do you like, and do you shave your pussy?"
Devon, looking every bit the prim albeit topless cheerleader, perkily says "I like big - seven to eight inches - and my pussy is always shaved."
Tera says, "Mine looks weird shaved."
Stevens: "Is it lumpy?"
Tera: "No. I like it with a little hair. It makes me feel womanly."
Devon: "I like a little patch for photo shoots."
Stevens tops 'em all: "I pencil mine in. Not really."
The Virgin Vixen is introduced: Laurie Wallace, a Playboy model who is going into hardcore. Right about this time, the main light blows, plunging the set into darkness. The group keeps plugging along, talking about eyebrows (Tera: "I have a unibrow. You should see pictures of me as a kid."), ages (Stevens: "How old are you? Don't lie, I'm 31." Wallace: "I'm 28.") and background (Wallace grew up in Baltimore, uses her real name, and "I've had a Website for three years, and am a Playboy Newsstand Specials model.")
Wallace is planning an erotic adventure series, "Like Wild On... but I get naked." She has previously hosted videos of parties at the Playboy Mansion.
Tera talks about going home with a grip on a set once. "The next day, he followed me around. I felt so guilty -"
Stevens interrupts her, talking as if to the guy: "Shit happens. Move on."
Devon does her acceptance speech that she couldn't do at the AVN Awards, thanking her husband and Samantha and Joone at Digital Playground. Not one word about the voters, I notice.
Stevens talks about her new contract with Simon Wolf for a gonzo series, and how she is training the crew at the store. Then Devon and Tera have a private conversation which nobody else can hear.
They talk about Cum-Kleen wipes, a box of which has just been kicked over to the couch. Tera tells of using a wipe after a guy had come on her face and he saw the erect penis on the package and said - her voice goes dead - "What's this shit?"
Tera says "We don't need age-defying stuff."
Stevens looks straight into camera: "I use botox."
And then, in reference to a mention of "white trash," Stevens goes off: "I'm wearing a Rolex," she rolls up her sleeve, waving it around. "And I'm effing white trash. I sucked a lot of cock to get this Rolex." The audience cracks up.
Tera tries to restore order, reading an e-mail. "What kind of underwear are you wearing?"
It doesn't work. "Nada, It's like Prada," Stevens quips.
And in a paroxysm of fashion talk, the show ends.
- Tod Hunter
The next Tera Show is scheduled for January 29. Scheduled guests are Ashley Renée, Francine Dee, and Quasarman. I promise not to spill any more Diet Coke, but with Quasarman on the premises some of it may come out my nose.
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