Sarah called me this morning saying she had the perfect title for my blog " what happened to monday" it was in the mid 70's on monday. I put on shorts to mow the lawn. Today just four days later its freezing and snowing. Very typical of our area. Snow is not new to Livi being from southern siberia... but we doubt she ever got to play in it. Today she did. She did not know what to make of it It was a very wet snow, I tried to get her to make a snow angel, but she could not move in her snow suit get up (Big hugs & thanks to Rhyne for the hand me down). We did not stay out very long. I just knew ballet was in her future.... making her impromptu leg kick with a perfect toe arch.

Thanks Yall for the support.... you guys are the best. I guess I need a pity party now & again. Im better now. I went and worked out last night and got alot of angries out. I also pigged out on Halloween candy. I got my october stats for the paid gig.... which you can visit by clicking here or here or HERE. or for the clicking challenged copy & paste this http://adoptive-parenting.adoptionblogs.com/Hint hint -Lol seriously I appreciate the love Im getting over there as well. Im finding my voice and trying to find the right balance of being personal ( so people will get to know me and want to return) and Informative. I try not to think about it to much. Im pretty much pinching myself and think Im pretty lucky to get paid to blog.My october visits were 11,200 the average blog got about 11,900 and the best blog got 32,000 hits. Being the overacheiver I am I want to get above average. So tell your friends and Im off to link myself silly over on frua and other boards.


Livi loved halloween.... she would have trick or treated until she passed out. You can read about it at the other site. You dont need a link do you?

Thanks again for the support and well wishes... now go and visit my other blog... Im giving away free halloween candy over there... those yucky fruit tootsie roll like things that we dont eat

I met a friend for Lunch today... we have not seen each other since April. It was so nice to be able to sit down and chat. Liv came with and for not napping she was well behaved. My friend is a wise social worker and said that the last she saw me I seemed depressed...she said it was hard not to step into her social work shoes. I was at first embarrassed that I did not do a good job of hiding it. I admitted to suffering from depression those first few months home. She said she could tell I was better... something about the way Im animated when I speak. It was hard being called out.... I wanted to crawl into myself at that moment. A good friend will tell you the truth and admitting it was very liberating. Look at all the changes, travel drama, Hep A stuff we delt with.... its no wonder it took some adjusting. I guess I want to appear to "have it all together" when i often feel anything but together. I lost my temper with Livi today and I went in my room and cried and cried and then I cried some more. I cried because Im not always the type of Mom I wish to be. man Im so emotional today. Taking off the happy mask feels really good

So we went to our free trial class at kindermusic... I will try to explain the set up as best I can for anyone interested. Its 45 minutes long and geared around Music & Movement. I personally wished they had more movement but I did think It was a nice balance of sitting and standing games. They had a welcome song that included a special movement for each child. The children got to play with instruments and taking turns was encouraged. The Instructor was really great with the kids, she had a great voice and seemed to read their cues and bring out new stuff to enage them. It was a small class ( 6 kids) & Moms. John was the only Dad which surprised me since this is an evening class. It seemed that many of these Mom's were working Moms ( a total guess from the business attire & from talking to one Mom) If I do sign up I would choose the morning class as this cut into Livi's bed schedule. We would not get home until close to 8 pm and Livi goes to bed at 7.30-8. The 45 min included a quiet time, a story, a special instrument, silk scarfs for peek a boo & dancing, some structured time & some free exploring. Its $10 per session plus a$54 mandatory materials packet that includes a song book & Cd( pricey if you ask me) Overall I really liked the program... Livi was social and enjoyed the music. We try gymboree tomorrow... and then we will choose between the two.

Its a beautiful day here.... we spent a few hours outside doing some yardwork and revisiting the sandbox. Livi was helping me bag the leaves, and she also helped me by dumping the leaves I spent 40 minutes bagging all over the yard .... argghhhhh Thats what I get for turning my back on a toddler. In her defense I was raking the leaves into a pile and I think she thought I wanted all the leaves in that spot. We dont even have a tree in our backyard but dang nabbit we sure did have enough leaves. So we are trying a free kindermusic class & a free gymboree class a few days. The kindermusic class is about $10 a class. Im not sure what Gymboree costs yet.I want to get Livi out of the house & to socialize. I just want to check it out & see if its worth the money.
Does anyone have feeback on these types of programs.

Happy fall

Steve has an excellent post up about the adoption tax credit. Check it out

I cant believe its been almost seven months now since we arrived home. I sit here blogging and Olivia sleeps just a few feet down the hall. I dont want to miss a thing with her. I have to remind myself sometimes to put down the vacume and forget about the things that need cleaning and instead be with my daughter. Read that favorite book one more time. She stands at the gate and says " uppa Mama" and I cant resist her. She is growing up before my eyes, and I want to enjoy each moment and tuck it away so that when she is grown I can fondly recall what it felt like to be needed by my child. I cant find words to express how much I love her. I cant tell you what its like to finally be a Mom after struggling with infertility. I remember I worried that I needed her more than she needed me.. that my future child had a big job of filling up a void in my heart. Loving her has filled that void. Knowing her, loving her, watching her thrive and witnessing her personality form to include little bits of John & I has been the most rewarding gift of parenting. I always want her to know love, to feel loved and to feel as if there is nothing we would not do for her. I have been healed by loving Olivia... being able to give to her what I needed as a child is so healing and that love comes full circle.


This Mommy business seems to bring up old hurts from my childhood... memories long forgotton come creeping up. Sometimes thats not always easy to handle.... at times it helps because as a Mom now myself I have a different perspective but then other times it angers me and and I wonder why certain things happened. I recently found myself getting frustrated with Olivia over food... and I recalled a painful moment with my Grandmother in my childhood that delt with food. I could relate to Olivia's frustration and I could relate to my grandmothers frustration and all at once some healing began.


Stay tuned for a post about Gymboree & Kindermusic- Yay or Nay