Surprise! It's Not All About Me
It is nice to be home! I was so excited to see our kids. Kirby had even made a special present for Pineapple and had wrapped it up (he is saving it for when she comes home). It was so sweet!
Today we filled out more paperwork and sent it off and then I spent the day shopping for Pineapple with my mom. It was really fun. My mom flies home Wednesday. Thanks again for everything mom! See some of our spoils below.
(Click on photo to see larger) Purple overboard, huh?
I am so excited to finally start building Pineapple's wardrobe and continue working on her bedroom.
I imagine how fun it will be to dress Pineapple up in cute outfits, buy her girly toys and a fancy bedroom, but I realized after meeting our new daughter-to-be for the first time that this stuff is not really what having her come into our family is about.
When I actually saw her, touched her and looked in to her eyes I also realized that this adoption isn't about her eternal gratitude and love I expect her to bestow upon me for "saving" her or "rescuing" her from orphanage life. It isn't about getting to see her excited as I bestow lavish gifts on her, or introduce her to new adventures and experiences. It isn't even about me finally getting the little girl I've always longed for.
Although having her will bring me pleasure and a lot of joy I have to realize that this adoption is not about me. In other words, it isn't about what she can do for me.
This adoption is about her.
It is about offering her a forever family, unconditional love, a warm and nurturing environment so that she can grow up healthy and happy and reach her true potential. It is about sticking by her through the good times and the hard times.
It is about offering this for free. No strings attached. A gift.
I hope I can always remember that.
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To my bloggy friends: My life will get back to normal soon and I will be back to visit your blogs. I miss them!
Well said Jenn! I am always taken a bit by surprise when people say what a "wonderful thing" we did by adopting, kind of like we rescued our children from a horrible life. It never even occured to me to think of it in those terms. We have love to give to a couple of kids, and they are two kids who need that love. That they return those feelings is a wonderful bonus!
It is fun to buy clothes for them though! :)
Posted by: Jenni | 07/26/2006 at 01:49 AM
Purple huh? Good color. Just right for royalty!
Great thoughts. I am so looking forward to hearing more about ya'll in this process and growth opportunity.
Posted by: mrscrumley | 07/26/2006 at 05:33 AM
Well put.
Posted by: Margaret | 07/26/2006 at 06:12 AM
Well said... and your right, the adoption is about her. But back to you for a minute.... tell us about meeting her, what was it like for you? was it what you thought it would be?, was it surreal? were you emotional or just taking it all in?
Its one of the big moments of the process and Im curious to learn how each family deals with this moment.
So happy for you and I cant wait to read that your returning for court.
lauri
Posted by: Lauri | 07/26/2006 at 06:22 AM
I actually get angry when people comment that my daughter is a lucky little girl...we are the lucky ones. She is such a bright spot in our lives and I cannot imagine life without her. Your experience was a little different than ours in Russia, but it sounds like you got through it ok. Try the sturgeon and the cavier next time you go..I ate it for just about every meal! And frankly the vodka helps to get to sleep when you start staring at the ceiling in the excuse for a hotel (at least ours was) Did you have a key lady?? We couldn't enter the hotel without getting the key from her or leave it without letting her know...but she served us tea every morning! A different life surely...but your daughter will thrive here I promise. Love and nutrition will make her a star!
Posted by: matmaven | 07/26/2006 at 07:09 AM
I can't wait to hear more about her. And you are right...
It is about her but I think it is also about you and your whole family together.
Posted by: Lauren | 07/26/2006 at 07:38 AM
Oh, Jenn it seems as if the journey is opening your eyes, changing your perspectives - maybe not to thnigs you didn't believe in before, but maybe now in a brighter light they are becoming more clear. I can't wait to walk that path of the first visit (two more weeks) I love purple by the way!
Posted by: | 07/26/2006 at 07:52 AM
God has plans for every life every soul. I think you both are lucky to have each other... Congrats on your new family. Can't wait to hear more about the princess...
Amy
Posted by: Amy | 07/26/2006 at 07:57 AM
So refreshing to hear. And exciting to see you lead the way! Again, Congratulations! It's a beautiful life! MMT
Posted by: MMT | 07/26/2006 at 08:30 AM
You are right. Before you hold that child, and she/he becomes "real", your just can't understand how it is going to be. But it is so good to share all the feelings and experiences so that those following behind can have a glimpse into the beauty of the moment!
Also, Yay for you getting to buy girlie things finally. It is a little about you, you know - you're the Mommy! Fun, fun, fun and so special that your mom was there to shop with you for those girly things!
Posted by: Suz | 07/26/2006 at 08:44 AM
Isn't it amazing how humbled you can be once you see their little faces? I feel so honored to be picked to be the mom to my six kids. The whole adoption process is humbling. I don't like people talking about what a great thing we did going to get the boys. We were just obedient to God's call. We are being blessed as much, probably more, than they are! It will be the same with your sweet Pineapple Princess.
I'm glad you did some shopping. Everything is so cute! Congrats on everything! I hope time is short until your return trip!
Posted by: Kim | 07/26/2006 at 09:03 AM
Well said. You have such a great outlook on the adoption process.
Love the outfits!
Posted by: Debbie | 07/26/2006 at 10:06 AM
love love love the outfits. Purple huh? Gives me a few ideas.
It is all about you guys as a family. The joy she can bring to you and the love and devotion you will bestow upon her. You guys are all royalty in my book.
Posted by: elle | 07/26/2006 at 10:28 AM
Well said. Of course as a mom of 3 you probably know once Pineapple is home she'll be happy to remind you daily that it's all about her. At least I know my kids do! ;-) But the great thing is, even when it's all about them, I still feel so blessed and complete... there's nothing like watching my little girl sleep and thinking what a miracle it is that she came all the way from Cambodia to be a part of our family.
Posted by: Christina/Mrs Broccoli Guy | 07/26/2006 at 10:39 AM
It is about offering her a forever family, unconditional love, a warm and nurturing environment so that she can grow up healthy and happy and reach her true potential. It is about sticking by her through the good times and the hard times.
I could not have worded this any better Jenn. You captured what all of us are thinking.
SoFlaMom
Posted by: SoFlaMom | 07/26/2006 at 11:30 AM
I was adopted. (inner family sort of thing) It was the best thing that happened to me, and my parents are the best ever. Congratulations, I can't wait to see more! Best of luck!
p.s PURPLE RULES
Posted by: Melody | 07/26/2006 at 02:00 PM
I can't wait to meet ours... A few times I have gone shopping for toys and clothes and leave empty-handed. Without knowing who they are yet, it's so hard to know what to get. So I know what you are saying... it really isn't about fulfilling our dreams of being a mom (and buying cool purple clothes - they look great!) but providing a loving home for them to grow!
Posted by: Tricia | 07/26/2006 at 02:30 PM
Love the clothes - how fun! Congrats to you and your hubby. You guys are all lucky for this experience!
Posted by: Dana | 07/26/2006 at 03:16 PM
Love the clothes - how fun! Congrats to you and your hubby. You guys are all lucky for this experience!
Posted by: Dana | 07/26/2006 at 03:16 PM
cute clothes!! my little girl is 3, and i LOVE shopping for her. even more than myself i think!
Posted by: Robbi | 07/26/2006 at 03:18 PM
loving the purple, that's my favorite color. And yes she is a gift and it'll all be about her. I can't wait til she is home and we can all see her beautiful face.
Posted by: Ann | 07/26/2006 at 05:16 PM
Just precious reading this. What a special mama she is receiving. What a "forever" gift. We have a family in our church that adopted from China, and it was so neat watching it happen, going through the ups and downs with them, and rejoicing when she came "home". She's been here almost a year now, and it's so neat to see her adjusted and doing wonderfully.
I also am tender to this, as I was adopted at 6 months of age.
Another ClubMom Blogger,
Loni
Posted by: Loni | 07/26/2006 at 06:27 PM
Isn't wonderful to finally buy for Pineapple, now that you've held her in your arms? I LOVED buying for my 2, and quite frankly I thought it to be a very nice way to release my stress of all the politics, paperwork, and waiting - call it Adoption Therapy! I love the purple too!! You guys are going to give Pineapple just the best home with your outlook on life and those sweet boys taking time to put together a gift for their sister! I'm crying here!!
Posted by: Tracy | 07/26/2006 at 06:45 PM
Welcome back and buy some PINK!
Posted by: Jenny | 07/26/2006 at 07:23 PM
Its dead on when you say its about her. I remember realizing while we were there, that it doesn't matter if I feel like the world's best Mom. Its about being there for them, not how they make me feel. I hope she gets to wear her purple clothes soon!
Posted by: Rhonda | 07/27/2006 at 12:06 AM