Apology Of The Week
'On 11 July 2007 we alleged that Danielle Lloyd had been dumped by Marcus Bent after he found out that she had slept with 50 Cent. We alleged that she had manipulated 50 Cent's minders into letting her meet him backstage because she wanted to have sex with him...
'We accept that all these allegations are untrue. Danielle was not dating Marcus and, while she met 50 Cent, she did not sleep with him' - The Daily Mirror.
Slowest Apology Of The Week
As declared by the latest edition of the world's heaviest newspaper:
'Sir Alex Ferguson has asked us to point out that, contrary to a report in the earlier editions of The Sunday Times sports section of January 15, 2006, he did not say to the referee of the Manchester derby that he would need a police escort home after the game. We are happy to clarify this and apologise for any embarrassment caused.'
The referee in question was Steve Bennett. According to reports at the time, an enraged Ferguson also told the Kent official that he was a "f***ing cheating bastard" - an allegation that was republished by The Evening Standard this May.
Curiously, there's no mention in this week's press of Sir seeking a denial over that particular, possibly more serious, allegation.
Saying Sorry Is The Hardest Thing
Maintaining the apologetic theme, Neil Warnock claims that Sir Alex Ferguson phoned him the day after Sheffield United's relegation to say he was 'sorry about what had happened at Old Trafford' when ManYoo were beaten by West Ham on the final day of the season.
'"I can't tell you how sorry I am,"' Ferguson is quoted as saying in Warnock's soon-to-be-published autobiography 'Made In Sheffield'.
This is the same Alex Ferguson who was described as 'unapologetic' by The Times on May 14, the day of the alleged phone call, and quoted defiantly stating:
"I think I played the right type of team. I feel for Neil Warnock at this moment in time, but I think when he sees the stats from our game he will understand that we were very unlucky. We had 25 strikes at goal so we did our best and I don't think anyone could criticise us."
Meanwhile, following allegations made by Warnock that he launched a 'foul-mouthed tirade' in front of children, Sean Bean has labelled the former Blades boss as "bitter" and "hypocritical".
"The story Warnock tells is not the one I remember and I was there," the actor told The Daily Mirror. "I've got three daughters of my own and there is no way I would ever dream of using language like that in front of a child, no matter how upset I was."
F**king bad language being Made In Sheffield is nothing new. In The Sun's second serialisation of the aforementioned tome, the word "f**king" appears three times and "f**k" twice.
Let's hope that Warnock junior doesn't listen to Daddy very often, or that any impressionable young children never read his considered musings.
See You In Court, Part Two
Colin Warnock's description of Carlos Tevez, as per his new book:
"Football's equivalent of a murderer out on bail."
Speed Dating
Never let research stand in the way of a good story.
According to The Sun's Steve Brenner, 'Robert Pires wants Nicolas Anelka to join him at Villarreal in Spain. The £8million-rated Bolton hitman enjoyed one of the best spells of his career alongside Pires at Arsenal before moving to Real Madrid.'
Well he might have...if only he hadn't left Arsenal for the Spanish capital in 1999 - a full year before Robert Pires joined the Gunners.
Rio Gets Merked
Rio Ferdinand has finally admitted he is over-priced. Speaking to ITV about his £30m transfer from Leeds, the ManYoo defender said: "I don't think anyone is worth that kind of money. The money in football today is crazy."
Such sensibilities did not, however, appear to register with Rio in the summer of 2005 when he was booed by the club's supporters for refusing to sign a reported £100,000-a-week deal, holding out for £120,000 as recognition of his purported 'world-class' status.
Freudian Slip Of The Day
As reported by the Sky Sports website:
'Ferguson also confirmed injured trio Gary Neville, Louis Saha and Old Gunnar Solskjaer will not play in Sunday's Community Shield against Chelsea'.
Harsh but true...
Pauling The News
Brilliant stuff from the BBC website as it reports on a study which has found that 'More pop stars have been called Paul than any other name.'
'From McCartney to Weller, people called Paul have appeared on 57 number one singles since the UK chart began in 1953, according to Yahoo! Music.'
What a relief to know that the licence fee is being spent on the issues that matter.
'Despite Paul's popularity with musicians' parents, the name no longer features in the UK's top 100 boys' names. Ventura Barba from Yahoo! Music Europe said: "When you think of rock 'n' roll names, you instantly recall the unique ones like Bono, Prince and Slash. It's surprising to discover that an everyday name can lay claim to such an accolade."
But it certainly wouldn't be a surprise to Paul Hewson, better known these days as Bono.
Headline Of The Day
'Fergie At End Of Tev-er' - The Daily Star.
Worst Headline Of The Day
'Thaks-In It For The Long Haul' - We hold our hands up, it's awful.
Quote Of The Day
"But perhaps when you spend so much time rehearsing to get picked for the next series of Strictly Come Dancing it effects your memory" - Sean Bean continues his row with Neil Warnock.
Non-Football Rumour Of The Day
'A man who pinched a Channel 4 News presenter's bottom during a live broadcast is being sought by police. Sue Turton was speaking to the camera from Oxford's flood-hit Osney Island when the man was seen on film walking past her. She said she found the incident "quite humiliating" but continued reporting. She does not wish to pursue the matter. Police said they still intended to impose an £80 fixed-penalty fine on the man under the Public Order Act' - The Independent
Hard-Hitting Non-Football Story Of The Day
'A block of flats has had its no smoking sign put up - upside down. The sign (pictured) was put up in flats in Leonard Avenue, Swanscombe, to meet legislation banning smoking in public places, which became law on July 1. Dartford English Democrats chairman Mike Tibby visited the area on July 18 and noticed one sign was upside down. He said: "I saw at least one of the signs. I was just amused by it. "I think there would probably be a sign in the other five or six blocks, although I do not know if they are upside down because I did not see them for myself." Tibby says he believes the signs had been put up by Dartford Council staff' - News Shopper
Thanks to today's Mediawatch spotters: Lesley, Aiden Grimes, Andrew Cunliffe. If you see anything that belongs on this page, e-mail us at theeditor@football365.com, putting 'Mediawatch' in the subject field.
The Page Which Is Never Apologetic
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