Thursday, June 01, 2006
Oblivion - the Flower Picking Simulator
So here I am - in the controversial game of Oblivion. It is so vile that the ESRB forced a re-rating of the game as to make it for Mature players only. And what is it about?
Well, in my game, it's about hopping and skipping through meadows picking flowers.
If you haven't played the game - I kid you not. The game covers vast, realistic outdoor areas, with plants scattered across miles of terrain. These plants can be harvested for their seeds, roots, leaves, and whatnot. These harvested plant parts can be sold at local alchemical shops, or you can use them yourself to create alchemical concoctions of your own.
My character class, determined early in the game from my tendency to hide when bad guys show up and strike from behind, is an ASSASSIN. That's right, a bloodthirsty, amoral killer assassin. One of his key skills, which needs to be increased through in-game practice, is alchemy. For making all those vile poisons to coat his arrows and knives with, of course. To get enough materials together for constant alchemy practice, I take the 'scenic route' from place to place so I can take time to ... pick flowers.
Another of the assassin's key abilities is Acrobatics, which is increased over time by hitting the jump key. So long as endurance doesn't run out, I find myself hopping around as I go from place to place to increase that ability.
Which means that as the vile, evil, bloodthirsty assassin, I am spending MUCH of my time hopping and skipping through meadows picking flowers. The very game mechanics and play balance of Oblivion ENCOURAGE THIS. For all assassins. If you play an assassin and want to make progress, the game pushes you to do exactly this sort of thing. Hop and skip through meadows picking flowers. For a large part of the game. I'm about 30th level now, and I'm STILL hopping and skipping through meadows picking flowers in-between quests.
Ayep. This, parents, this is the game you should be warned NOT to purchase for your sixteen-year-old son, because it would put dangerous thoughts into his head.
I don't really blame the ESRB. I mean, past the first Oblivion Gate you see all kinds of nasty gross things and corpses of people who have been tortured to death. That's borderline rated-M material right there. Like Diablo, you are journeying into Hell (or "Oblivion"), and so it's got to look kind of ... hellish. So even poor flower-collecting assassins have to deal with some dark, nightmarish imagery. No problem.
My game of Oblivion: The Flower-Picking Simulator might be VERY different from someone else's game of Oblivion: The Genocide. These big, open-ended games - especially roleplaying games, and even MORE especially moddable games - are more akin to a paint set and a canvas than a movie or book. A lot of the experience is what the user puts into it and wants to get out of it. That's the beauty of interactivity.
But I think this points out the ultimate futility of games ratings systems for being anything other than a VERY rough guideline for parents. But force of law in the recent epidemic of FUD-fueled legislation? Silly and stupid.
After all, how WOULD the ESRB rate, say, the Star Trek holodeck?
Labels: Mainstream Games, Roleplaying Games
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holodeck+human nature=XXX
But really, I think the fair rating for a holodeck (assumption: it has nothing preset built in, you just tell it what you want and it does that somehow) would be E. I mean, after all, if you can come up with it, it's either appropriate for your age, or it's your own fault!
Of course, a real holodeck would include lots of presets, not have a magical "figure-out-what-you-mean" processor, and would have an internet connection to download 'playsets', which would be entirely inappropriate for young people. Or anybody.
But really, I think the fair rating for a holodeck (assumption: it has nothing preset built in, you just tell it what you want and it does that somehow) would be E. I mean, after all, if you can come up with it, it's either appropriate for your age, or it's your own fault!
Of course, a real holodeck would include lots of presets, not have a magical "figure-out-what-you-mean" processor, and would have an internet connection to download 'playsets', which would be entirely inappropriate for young people. Or anybody.
The holodeck was always trouble anyway. How many times did the dang thing 'malfunction' and something try to take over the ship? Can you imagine the chaos of a holodeck in every home? I think I'll stick to skipping and picking flowers games.
~J
~J
According to the ESRB's standards now, a stock holodeck WOULD be rated ... I think "EC?" Early Childhood. Not that a 3-year-old could USE the thing. But containing no content whatsoever, I guess that makes it appropriate for anyone.
And how long before Congress would launch an investigation into what is referred to as the "pornodeck" by fans, and demand to know why it's being sold as a rated EC game, and put pressure on the ESRB and games industry to change it's rating...
Hmmm... That kinda describes Second Life, from what I understand... though I doubt it has an ESRB rating, and it hasn't yet gained the notice of Congress. I don't know if it tries to restrict users to being 18 and over or not.
And how long before Congress would launch an investigation into what is referred to as the "pornodeck" by fans, and demand to know why it's being sold as a rated EC game, and put pressure on the ESRB and games industry to change it's rating...
Hmmm... That kinda describes Second Life, from what I understand... though I doubt it has an ESRB rating, and it hasn't yet gained the notice of Congress. I don't know if it tries to restrict users to being 18 and over or not.
Second Life has a Teen Second Life section for those under 18, so I assume they're trying to keep teenagers away from the pornodeck that is the rest of Second Life.
As to Oblivion, I'd think an Assassin would benefit more from searching dungeons for mushrooms and Atronarch/Vampire parts. Seems easier to get decent damage poisons from those.
As to Oblivion, I'd think an Assassin would benefit more from searching dungeons for mushrooms and Atronarch/Vampire parts. Seems easier to get decent damage poisons from those.
Oh, don't get me wrong - I hang out in dungeons plenty, too :) It's not all skipping through meadows and picking flowers. But when I'm travelling, I tend to do that.
But poisons aren't the whole reason. Mainly, I'm trying to gather materials just to practice my alchemy skill. Though it doesn't hurt to have a few potions of restoration or night-eye handy.
But poisons aren't the whole reason. Mainly, I'm trying to gather materials just to practice my alchemy skill. Though it doesn't hurt to have a few potions of restoration or night-eye handy.
Exactly why I didn't play an assassin. I choose to play a Brigand and stuck to robbing everyone on the roads, oh wait, no one travels the roads. Must be why I'm still level 1.
I'll admit I play Oblivion with about 30 mods, including arrow enhancement, new faces, hair, clothing, bodies, and even some dreaded "adult" mods.
I mean seriously, I'm 35 and I get insulted by the fur bikini's and speedos on the characters when I kill them. The game lets me slaughter anyone at will but OH NO, it can't include nudity! We must see conan style bikinis! Give me a break.
I want to play a mature game, and when I say mature I mean a game that treats me as an adult gamer. Like Vampire: Bloodlines did. I want to see wounds, blood, skin, sex, moral choices, provacative dialog, and especially CONsequences for my actions. I don't mean silly juevenile quests, lame dialog, and rediculous cencorship of nudity. I also don't want "Hustler Humor" touting itself as mature cause it aint.
Every human in the world is a result of fornication. Which meant nudity was involved and at least one adult situation. Games are art, art is a reflection of life, time to start reflecting all aspects of life. And no, I don't mean the physical act, I mean situations that you see in real life, or you think you would at least.
Games need to grow up.
Vampire: Bloodlines, buy it, patch it, play it.
I'll admit I play Oblivion with about 30 mods, including arrow enhancement, new faces, hair, clothing, bodies, and even some dreaded "adult" mods.
I mean seriously, I'm 35 and I get insulted by the fur bikini's and speedos on the characters when I kill them. The game lets me slaughter anyone at will but OH NO, it can't include nudity! We must see conan style bikinis! Give me a break.
I want to play a mature game, and when I say mature I mean a game that treats me as an adult gamer. Like Vampire: Bloodlines did. I want to see wounds, blood, skin, sex, moral choices, provacative dialog, and especially CONsequences for my actions. I don't mean silly juevenile quests, lame dialog, and rediculous cencorship of nudity. I also don't want "Hustler Humor" touting itself as mature cause it aint.
Every human in the world is a result of fornication. Which meant nudity was involved and at least one adult situation. Games are art, art is a reflection of life, time to start reflecting all aspects of life. And no, I don't mean the physical act, I mean situations that you see in real life, or you think you would at least.
Games need to grow up.
Vampire: Bloodlines, buy it, patch it, play it.
Well, "fornication" means something a little different than "intercourse." So I can't agree with your statement about every human being :)
But yeah, you are right - and I loved Bloodlines because of it. Though I did get annoyed with it dropping the "F-Bomb" as much as it did. I really get mad at the label "adult," as it implies pornography or lewdness. I don't want that. But I do want "grown-up" situations and topics in my games.
Straightforward black & white fantasy is great and all - but sometimes I'd like a bit more meat and gray areas and tough moral decisions. I don't want my games to imitate real life, but I would like some 'real life' grittiness in more of my games. Blood and sex and betrayal and human fallability and tough decisions where someone's gonna get hurt no matter what you choose - that makes for far more exciting adventures than "Let's Kill The Ancient Evil. Because it's old and clearly evil."
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But yeah, you are right - and I loved Bloodlines because of it. Though I did get annoyed with it dropping the "F-Bomb" as much as it did. I really get mad at the label "adult," as it implies pornography or lewdness. I don't want that. But I do want "grown-up" situations and topics in my games.
Straightforward black & white fantasy is great and all - but sometimes I'd like a bit more meat and gray areas and tough moral decisions. I don't want my games to imitate real life, but I would like some 'real life' grittiness in more of my games. Blood and sex and betrayal and human fallability and tough decisions where someone's gonna get hurt no matter what you choose - that makes for far more exciting adventures than "Let's Kill The Ancient Evil. Because it's old and clearly evil."
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